Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I don't want to sound to crazy but I know I have no self-esteem. I mean I tend to hide it, people see me and I am reasonably big only 205 now but at 5'10 not high bf that ok, reasonably good looking im told, and in general other people seem to think I have a decent life. My problem is I can't buy it. The acne I have drives me insane while other people will say they dont notice it at all or thats its not bad, i've done everything and my doctor gave up saying we could keep trying but he didnt think anything would work. I just generally have had no luck with girls at all. Every girl I meet will either end up as a friend or going for someone else or i will think they like me and not know what to do. It is pathetic I'm a 19 year old college student who is in a fraternity and is known by alot of people as a aquantance but have few or no close friends and never meet girls to date ot hang out with. I know I probably need medicine but is there anyway to get rid of this horrible low self-esteem boarding on self hatred at times. Despite my better judgement and what people tell me I can't seem to conyemplate that I have things better than most people and just get over probably irational way of hating th way I look and not feeling comfortable around people. Thanks I ask you here because i think most people think I'm just unhappy over things that happen but this is destroying my life its all I can think about and I am going to ruin my future as I have only 2.2 with no major through 2 years at a 35,000 a year school because i try to study or focus on my other things and all I think about is how is everyone esle so different that they can have friends and girls who like them even if I'm better looking than them.
PLEASE READ: Self esteem, How the hell can I get some, need help...
- Thread starter CB38AC
- Start date
A few random thoughts:
Take a step back and re-group your thoughts.
Figure out what bothers you and how to fix it and figure what you want and make a plan to get it.
Expect to fail.
Sometimes often.
So prepare to pick up the pieces more often than not.
Remember that we all feel broken at some time in our lives and insecurity is just a aspect of feeling out of control.
Get a new doctor - he sounds like a jackass if you ask me.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you have plenty of time to grow into who you are and when you do, your life will feel like a springtime bloom.
Take a step back and re-group your thoughts.
Figure out what bothers you and how to fix it and figure what you want and make a plan to get it.
Expect to fail.
Sometimes often.
So prepare to pick up the pieces more often than not.
Remember that we all feel broken at some time in our lives and insecurity is just a aspect of feeling out of control.
Get a new doctor - he sounds like a jackass if you ask me.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you have plenty of time to grow into who you are and when you do, your life will feel like a springtime bloom.
I wish I could believe that I know theres depression I have to deal with thats makes me not enjoy life and has done so for years now but theres more, its this constant question of it everyone tells me theres nothing wrong with me and at times I even agree with them, then why don't people ever want to be around me as more thatn aquaitances and why do girls see me as a friend or even worse just stay away like im gorss?
I must sound so irational but anyone who has had these issues knows your rational thought has no say over you feelings and mental stae when it gets really bad
I must sound so irational but anyone who has had these issues knows your rational thought has no say over you feelings and mental stae when it gets really bad
HumorMe
New member
velvett said:
Very good suggestions there Velvett!
Listen man, you are only 19 years old. You have your health. That in itself is more valuable than you can imagine. You have your whole life ahead of you! I would give my left nut and maybe my right one to be 19 again....although I truly believe young people nowadays have a harder time with life than I had it 20 - 25 years ago. I know things must seem extremely hard for you but things could be worse. Enjoy your time in college and enjoy the company of others. Getting involved with others in an intimate way might not be what you need right now. Take each day as it comes and quit worrying so much about what others might think of you. Be your ownself and don't let anybody drag you down. I wish I could offer you more but you seem to have a fairly decent head on your shoulders and that in itself is a big plus! PM if you need to talk! Things could be a helluva lot worse.
musclebrains
New member
See a psychologist or psychiatrist for evaluation. I hate to say it, since I think the actual disorder is pretty rare, but between your preoccupation with your acne, your size and your overall appearance, you may be a candidate for "body dysmorphic disorder." At the very least you're suffering depression, one inevitable expression of which is that it's useless to try to do anything, that nothing will work, that you should be able to make yourself feel better.
What'll it take to get you to the right kind of doctor?
What'll it take to get you to the right kind of doctor?
Thank you all this helps, i really need some positive reinforcement. I think after a quiet childhood i just don't know how to deal with trejection and people cause i missed the whole socialization by being too shy in hs.
I'm going to try getting help again but i've been through doctors and meds but they never helped. I sucks to see my future pissing itself away and know school is very easy for me but these eissues destroy my motivation to go o class or even buy books.
Maybee i've just had to much given to me and can't deal with not having things go right...I really dont know I just know I need some positive stuff and untill I can get professional help my friends are too sick of listening to me and yell at me for being irrational so I turned to the boards, thank you all
I'm going to try getting help again but i've been through doctors and meds but they never helped. I sucks to see my future pissing itself away and know school is very easy for me but these eissues destroy my motivation to go o class or even buy books.
Maybee i've just had to much given to me and can't deal with not having things go right...I really dont know I just know I need some positive stuff and untill I can get professional help my friends are too sick of listening to me and yell at me for being irrational so I turned to the boards, thank you all
Last edited:
CB, I have basically been in the same boat as you and have seen doctors, taken the oppropriate drugs etc. None of which really helped. The one thing that has helped more than any other is working as a bartender. As odd as that sounds it really has helped with my self-esteem. True it may not be a cure and it may not necessarily help you but it just may make things that much better.
CB, I'm in kinda the same situation as you. Always been shy (I'm 28) and for some reason come across as an asshole until people get to know me thru acquaintances. I was married(thank God I finally got a divorce) and missed out on all my younger what should have been the fun times of my life. I've never asked a single girl out on a date. The only times I went out or dated girls was when they asked me out. I too am told by girls that I look attractive but the fear of regection and shyness always keeps me from going after the ones that I want. I don't know how to beat the shyness that you have but I will tell you that it is hard to overcome. It is something you need to work hard at or you will always be that way. I have some gorgeous female friends but thats where it ends. I'm their personal bouncer at the club if someone fucks with them in an inappropiate way or a counselor if they are having personal problems with their boyfriends. Then they always say they wish they could meet someone like you, kiss you on the cheek, tell you they love you, and go on to date the next asshole. So work hard to get over it or you'll have it forever. Alcohol does sometimes help if you are in a good mood to start with. Good Luck.
CB38AC said:
Hey I know you said your doc told you nothing would "work"
for your acne, but have you tried ACCUTANE? It's pretty harsh
on you, but if you can tolerate it, I believe the medicine will
eliminate your acne in six months, for good.
Sometimes, we try to fix our problems with pills, and here I am
telling you that you should try another pill to swallow and make
yourself happy, but you'll only be happy once you realize you
are worthy of being happy. It sounds circular, and it probably
is, but it's true.
I won't do it again, (accutane) it doesnt work for me and the sides are so bad
I've never asked anyone out, never gone out on a date, any girl i've been with cam after me too WIKID
I just need to find something to bridge the gap between my perspective and the real world so I can go with the mental rational I have to be happy without this emptyness and self hating. Finding a girl to backup my confidence wouldnt hurt
I've never asked anyone out, never gone out on a date, any girl i've been with cam after me too WIKID
I just need to find something to bridge the gap between my perspective and the real world so I can go with the mental rational I have to be happy without this emptyness and self hating. Finding a girl to backup my confidence wouldnt hurt
