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HappyScrappy
New member
Today it was kinda hot outside. And inside. I was sitting here as usual, listening to the Cher I had crankin and slowly slapping my clown the way he deserved - he was a BAD CLOWN! that's right.
so then, nature called and I went ahead and did what I do best - which is going outside and pissing on the telephone pole the way dogs do. it is so funny to see them come along and sniff the pole and then quickly look around like "oh shit, what the fuck kinda dog did that - and is he still here?!"
I was just finishing that up when this real beauty of a woman walked by. she was hunched over real sexy and her walker looked kinda retro. I, like any red blooded american, wanted to tap that ass.
so I quietly crept up behind her, stopping behind parked cars and mailboxes - tiptoing my way along, and peeking out every now and then to make sure she wasn't onto me. but the bitch was too fast for me - she got into her home before I could jump her and have my way with her for the heavenly 15 seconds that I take.
so there I am, standing with my hair a dishevled mess in the middle of the road, one hand down my boxers massaging my love rod and nothing else to do for the day. I turned around in the street, noticing that all I had on were my boxers and at that point it hit me how hungry I was.
so I walked up the road to a convenience store around the corner.
I opened the door and stepped inside, the cool air spilling over the sweat matted hair of my back. it was a sensation that I will never forget.
I walked over to the beer fridge and pressed my man boobs against the glass - the chill of the surface making my nipples stand on end - and I slid them around the glass, making pretty patterns in the condesation that had formed there.
I was picasso, sharing my art with the world. but the fucking store clerk was a fag and couldn't appreciate my art and he told me that if I didn't leave immediately he was gonna call the cops on me.
fuck that, so I grabbed a handful of hot dogs and ran out of there.
so anyway, that's pretty much how my day has gone so far. thanks for asking.
so then, nature called and I went ahead and did what I do best - which is going outside and pissing on the telephone pole the way dogs do. it is so funny to see them come along and sniff the pole and then quickly look around like "oh shit, what the fuck kinda dog did that - and is he still here?!"
I was just finishing that up when this real beauty of a woman walked by. she was hunched over real sexy and her walker looked kinda retro. I, like any red blooded american, wanted to tap that ass.
so I quietly crept up behind her, stopping behind parked cars and mailboxes - tiptoing my way along, and peeking out every now and then to make sure she wasn't onto me. but the bitch was too fast for me - she got into her home before I could jump her and have my way with her for the heavenly 15 seconds that I take.
so there I am, standing with my hair a dishevled mess in the middle of the road, one hand down my boxers massaging my love rod and nothing else to do for the day. I turned around in the street, noticing that all I had on were my boxers and at that point it hit me how hungry I was.
so I walked up the road to a convenience store around the corner.
I opened the door and stepped inside, the cool air spilling over the sweat matted hair of my back. it was a sensation that I will never forget.
I walked over to the beer fridge and pressed my man boobs against the glass - the chill of the surface making my nipples stand on end - and I slid them around the glass, making pretty patterns in the condesation that had formed there.
I was picasso, sharing my art with the world. but the fucking store clerk was a fag and couldn't appreciate my art and he told me that if I didn't leave immediately he was gonna call the cops on me.
fuck that, so I grabbed a handful of hot dogs and ran out of there.
so anyway, that's pretty much how my day has gone so far. thanks for asking.
