orgasm help for my wife

[buffdoc]

My wife is 50, and still a major babe; she's having trouble w/ her orgasms. She's perimenopausal and has lowered libido.
She recently started Lexapro (an SSRI similar to Celexa, Prozac, etc.) which has worsened the problem.
She's used a vibrator for years during sex (she likes rear entry the best!), and had no major problems cumming.
So 2 problems:
-diminished desire
-difficult orgasm
Any of you women out there (or men for that matter) have ideas about hormones (she's on est, pro, GH), drugs, devices, 3-somes or anything that can get her revved again? She tried Viagra and came pretty quick, but got a monster headache. (I'm a doc, so most drugs are prescribable).

Thanks

 

[guards]

How about taking her off the SSRI and using an alternate mode of therapy for her depression (or whatever they are treating)?

There is always MDMA joke

 

[buffdoc]

How about taking her off the SSRI and using an alternate mode of therapy for her depression (or whatever they are treating)?

There is always MDMA joke

Problem is, she was having milder trouble before the SSRI; also, if the depression's not controlled, libido gets even worse, not to mention my life

 

[Temple]

I don't know if wellbutrin is enough to take care of her depression but it does not have the sides that the SSRI's do. Has she had her testosterone levels checked? That may be the missing hormone.

 

[buffdoc]

Yes, testost was low normal and I put her on test gel once a day (and also to the clitoris prior to sex; helped, but not enough). We're using an arginine preparation that is supposed to increase nitric oxide (what Viagra does) and that seems to help too.
If we could up the libido, everything might work out.

 

[buffdoc]

Help me out other ladies,
I was hoping to get some more input from you. Aphrodesiacs?
How about it MsPuddles, is it? or Kronkette, or Ceebs? Anyone?

 

[dpart01]

I have a post below about viacream, Ive recently got my hands on some and wanna try it soon, look into it.

Its a cream thats meant to be rubbed around the clit prior to sex and its meant to make orgasms easier. When I try it on my partner Ill post results.

 

[Pamela]

Problem is, she was having milder trouble before the SSRI; also, if the depression's not controlled, libido gets even worse, not to mention my life

How about Zoloft?

And she is 50. Her sex drive is probably not going to be the
same as it was when she was around 30 or 40.

 

[TheStromba]

Try some cialis. It increases clit sensitivity alot for 24 + hours after taking. (at least that's what MrsPuddles tells me)

No headache like viagra.


If you have not already, try different SSRI's and see if one is milder on the sexual sides than another.

 

[Puddles]

As for medications to try, go with what my husband suggested, Cialis. Why? Because it's hard to not feel sexual when your clit keeps sending off throbbing sensations when you're least expecting them! I'll take it in the morning and by late afternoon I'm feeling it's effects without even thinking about anything sexual. The sensations will last through the night and into the following day. During sex, it just engorges the clit and makes it feel wonderful and like it MUST be taken care of. The next day I'll be driving or what ever and it's like WHAM...my clit just reminds me it's there and wants some attention. I would imagine if I was a guy I'd have a raging hard-on popping up out of my pants. The only thing that bothered me about cialis was at first I was having some odd dreams and it was difficult to fall asleep, but that doesn't happen anymore. I was taking a whole one, but I've downsized to a half. Mentally, the cialis will help your wife if she's lacking general interest in having sex because her clit will be reminding her it's there and wanting to be played with.

What makes me orgasm really well is more mental than physical. It might be the same way with your wife. Instead of foccusing on what will bring her to orgasm, focus on what turns her on...what gets her juices flowing! Being really turned on will bring on a better orgasm than the best vibe in the world. Take it easy and focus on having fun together, giving each other pleasure, but not necessarilly focussing on the orgasm as a final destination. What used to get her freaky? Think back. What are her biggest turn ons? Is she more into sex at a certain time of the day than others?

I'd also suggest a little slowdown in your attempts at having intercourse and just spend a little more time flirting with her. ( ie. the usual kiss hello or good-bye could be a teasing kiss, press your groin up against her and rub slowly, but that's it, not intending it to lead to more, carress her ass, slide your fingers to her pussy from behind when you kiss her, but that's it...just cop a feel. Fun stuff like that.)

The meds she's on...I don't know about how different ones react, but I know when I was on Zyban (form of Wellbutrin) it didn't affect me negatively. Being depressed will lower her desire to have sex, so good luck to ya both with that part of it.

 

[buffdoc]

Thanks, especially to MrsPuddles; appreciate the effort.
BTW, I didn't think Cialis was available yet. If it is, I can prescribe it to her. Lemme know.

 

[Big Moose]

Wellbutrin/effexor combo or Effexor alone. Much less sexual sides than Lexapro

 

[Ceebs]

Oops - sorry I missed this post! But it is certainly flattering to be considered in the same eschelon as kronkette and MrsPuddles.

Anyway, I'm with TheStromba and MrsPuddles - Cialis is an absolute miracle. I believe it's been approved in the US, however a lawsuit by the (jealous and greedy) makers of Viagra is postponing its entry into the market. I'm sure that someone will shoot you a PM soon about obtaining it if they already haven't. Alternately, shower massagers are really, really, really great things.

On a final note, I have the utmost sympathy for anyone with libido problems. I'm pretty young - I'll be 23 tomorrow - and never had problems before, but I went on a strenuous cutting cycle this past summer, and when I was at my lowest - about 14% bodyfat down from 24% - I could not get wet or in the mood for the life of me. I still wanted sex and intimacy just as much as ever, but the plumbing wasn't cooperating. I guess the sex hormones are called that for a reason. Good luck, I wish you both well.

 

[Bigsatan13]

Have you tried slapping her around a bit? This usually gets the old libido going.

 

[Puddles]

Ceebs has a good point about diet. I've read that lowfat diets will directly result in a lower libido. Maybe some flaxseed oil supps. would help with that? Just guessing here. Hmmm...flaxseed oil lube? hehehe

 

[buffdoc]

Hi Puddles,
Yes, we've both been on Flax oil and seeds daily for sometime. We've talked about switching her to Wellbutrin or adding Wellbutrin to the mix, but with the success of the Cialis, why mess with a good thing. We're both really thrilled with the results, and there seems to be even more tactile sensitivity, a feeling of desire and intimacy, like we're sharing a little secret. Nice!
Also, as I told you, she shaved. Incredible sensation. Why did we wait so long? We'll never turn back on that front, I tell you! Yowsah!
Regards
buffdoc

 

[buffdoc]

Have you tried slapping her around a bit? This usually gets the old libido going.

BigSatan,
No. no slapping around. However, she does dig a little well timed hair pulling and the occassional blindfold!
buffdoc

 

[Puddles]

Also, as I told you, she shaved. Incredible sensation. Why did we wait so long? We'll never turn back on that front, I tell you! Yowsah!

Something else to consider is laser hair removal. Kali used and recommends this place (they are in several states but you may have to find another place if they're not near you):

http://www.advancedlaserclinics.com/index.html

If you're looking for a last minute Christmas gift, this would be a great one! Print out the info and wrap it up.

 

[Kali]

Definitly go laser, you get more sensation due to the lack of a "buffer zone" as I would like to call it. Also, if she is going through a difficult point in her life, she is going to be very emotional. You may want to try appealing to that side more. Get a bubble bath going, a good shower head like Ceebs had suggested and enough lube to blow bubbles in. If you are going with a vibrator at first, I would go with a waterproof gel or my favorite, the "Pearl Bunny." Oil the girl up, but be really sensual about it. Sometimes women just need some emotional help. Remember women are more feeling, and men are more sight stimulated. Try a romantic night and just see how it works. Definitly go with the Cialis if she is willing to try that as well. It is cheap and lasts all day.

 

[Spectre]

Mr Sofageorge on the AS board is reporting that females and males for that matter are reporting an increase in sex drive with the Carao supplement. It's worth a try and good luck.

 

[Ceebs]

Maybe it's the half glass of Christmas Eve wine that I just knocked back (and my alcohol tolerance comparable to an annorexic termite), but all of these sweet posts offering suggestions are bringing a tear to my eye. I hope if I ever have a problem, people are as thoughtful as you lot...

Cheers.

 

[buffdoc]

I concur, Ceebs.
It's amazing that there has been such a variety of lovely and caring suggestions for someone none of you have ever met. Allow me (and Joan) to express our gratitude.
She's even come to know some of you by name from hearing your input from me: you know, "Puddles said this, and Puddles said that" sort of thing
Merry Christmas to all, and happy holidays
buffdoc