Newbie with a ? on erotic service girls

[melni21]

I have a lengthy question.. and I need serious answers.

My "ex" (who I am still seeing occasionally) has a thing for calling "craigslist" call girls. He swears they are just a phone call, and he has never been with one. However, when he calls them, they are always in the "city" he is in. Why would he call them in that city if it was just the voice?

He is a sex addict (in recovery). Has been arrested for soliciting. Has been calling these girls, emailing them for years. He even called a motel on the way home from one night and said he saw some girls on the balcony and called the motel to talk to them (huh?).

He gave me the clap. I have NEVER ever ever in my life had an std. I have been in "three" monogomous relationships and he was the third. He was tested a month before me (insurance reasons I had to wait). He tested neg on everything but herpes (positive) and genital warts. I went in a month later, tested negative on everything except gonorhea. I freaked and moved OUT! He freaked cuz he thought Iw as gonna go around telling people. he went and had a urine test done that day and it was negative. So.. how the hell did that happen???? My doc says mine is more accurate. He and his "doctor" says his is more accurate and mine was wrong. He KNOWS damn well I did NOT cheat so he's trying to lay it on my doc and the test.

I'm so confused. My main thign is this:

Could he have had it and known (since he probably kenw the symptoms) and gotten treated before I found out I did?

Do you think he is "just" calling these girls and not meeting them?

PLEASE help.. He has made me feel like I'm crazy. I knwo I'm not.

I have always wanted to take care of my man... love him and be faithful. My first husband cheated.... I left.. after 14 years. My second was abusive. This one was BOTH! I am taking time for myself.. but the sex was and is so good.. it's hard to let go. I'm just afraid if he is still lying I will catch somethign WORSE... and my kids need their mom around.

 

[ricco561]

Run.
I know that sounds harsh, but he has an addiction.
He is not in recovery. Until he gets serious, he will continue to do those things.
And if he is abusive on top of that; well...........run.

 

[2evil]

Hookers don't "talk on the phone..."

 

[melni21]

Hookers don't "talk on the phone..."

I figured this. He just says that he masterbates after he calls them, but why the hell would he do that? am I totally letting him pull the wool over my eyes? from a guys standpoint, would you or have you ever known anyone to call a girl, hear her voice in 30 seconds and then masterbate? is it a turn on just to call? thats where I'm LOST

 

[ricco561]

Please see my above post.

 

[MASSIVE1000]

Sorry to hear all of this. As far as the std goes, it is like getting caught driving drunk...how many times did you drive drunk before you were caught? I think you already know the answer...you need to find a new man. How much more proof do you need? On top of all of this....you need to think about your kids and quit being so damn selfish. This guy is the type of role model you think is appropriate for your kids? WAKE UP AND QUIT BEING SO DAMNED STUPID! Sorry but sometimes it takes a little bit of waking someone up to get the point. DO YOU GET THE POINT NOW?

 

[musclemom]

Melni, listen to me:

1. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT MAN AND DON'T LET ANY PART OF HIS BODY NEAR YOURS EVER AGAIN, I DON'T CARE HOW NICE AND SINCERE HE SOUNDS. He clearly is not ready to recover. He WILL however, drag you down to the bottom with him before he makes the decision to recover. He is lying to you and has lied to you in the past. You have a responsibility to your children. You brought them into this world, and they need a stable adult who thinks with the organs ABOVE the waist.

2. Until you have figured out what keeps attracting you to fucked up individuals and decide to fix that in YOUR life, stay the fuck away from men altogether. You, subconsciously are picking these losers and until you address what fundamentally in you is drawing you to them you need to stay the hell out of ALL relationships. Fix you first. Sex is nice, companionship is nice, but it's more important to be with someone who likes and respects you, first and foremost. You'll never get that until you like and respect yourself. You'll never, ever get that from this man who has already lied to you.

P.S. Seriously, cut the "ex" out of your life immediately and permanently. One does not catch gonorrhea from a toilet seat, just remind yourself of that, okay? He probably showed symptoms early (while some men show no symptoms, some can show symptoms in two days) tested positive for it, got treated, and never told you then put on a big show for you when you tested positive knowing full well he gave the disease to you to begin with.

 

[billfred]

Alter

 

[melni21]

Alter

huh?

I didnt get this response, but oh well. I agree with the above. I totally do. A pastor told me this"a little more toned down" but all in all the same response. He is the one who told me to get out. He told me it would take him years to recover and he would want me to carry his load. He told me I cant.. I need to take a boundries workshop and get away from MEN! LOL.. I am. I am okay wiht it too. My kids have seen enough. I'm ready to focus on me.. move on.. and live a happy life alone!! Hell yeah I'll miss the sex, but I can live without it for a logn while. Im going to have to.

Thanks for all your responses.. I really apprecaite it. It didnt discourage me.. just empowered me!!!

 

[PerfectForm1]

rico thats a great avatar pic...shown some luv...