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DepressiveJuice
Guest
condoms. im a shy person 
HollywoodSwole
New member
Some people will think tampons, others will say toilet paper. I haven't given it much thought, but by far and away the thing I have been most embarressed about would have to be today's purchase of...
suppositories.
And for all the sheltered folk who have never seen one before, let me enlighten you, it looks a little like one of those foam earplugs, only a little longer, complete with the rounded tip for easy insertion, INTO YOUR ASS!
The truly unfortunate thing about this is that I had a bowl of turkey chili earlier, and am having to suppress nearly catastrophic gas in fear that the little bastard will shoot out like a rocket propelled grenade.
As you were.
suppositories.
And for all the sheltered folk who have never seen one before, let me enlighten you, it looks a little like one of those foam earplugs, only a little longer, complete with the rounded tip for easy insertion, INTO YOUR ASS!
The truly unfortunate thing about this is that I had a bowl of turkey chili earlier, and am having to suppress nearly catastrophic gas in fear that the little bastard will shoot out like a rocket propelled grenade.
As you were.
ohashi
New member
Okay, I understand the condoms suppositories, and to an extent, tampons. But toilet paper? What's embarassing about getting toilet paper?
I can just imagine the clerks talking behind your back after you leave: "Heheh. He bought toilet paper. I can't believe that guy still needs to shit. Not me - I've evolved beyond the need for bowel movement thanks to my diet of $5 weed."
Or something like that.
I can just imagine the clerks talking behind your back after you leave: "Heheh. He bought toilet paper. I can't believe that guy still needs to shit. Not me - I've evolved beyond the need for bowel movement thanks to my diet of $5 weed."
Or something like that.
pitbullstl
New member
Jimsbbc said:
That one's pretty good, but I got one better.....
Every year, for B-Day's my friends and I give each other gag gifts, always trying to outdo the other......
Two weeks ago for my boy Jimmy's B-Day, I purchased:
1- A Box of adult diapers.
2- A turkey baster
3- A trashy romance novel
4 some corn pads
5 yeast infection cream
6 and last but not least a bag of prunes
The look on the cashier's face was quite worth it.......
Parabellum
New member
pitbullstl said:
That's funny stuff.
I have to start giving out gag gifts again.
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DcupSheepNipples
Guest
OB purchase!
Dumped that bloody bitch the next day after the Red Sea Bang session!
WTF she made me look like a muscle bound tranny buying those cunt stuffers for her!
Clam Bake Bitch!
Dumped that bloody bitch the next day after the Red Sea Bang session!
WTF she made me look like a muscle bound tranny buying those cunt stuffers for her!
Clam Bake Bitch!
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supersizeme
New member
earlier this year i bought a kidney that some foreign guy who smelled like cloves was selling in the aisle with all the canned corn in it
NoDaddyNo
New member
milk
In high school I had a girlfriend that would go through the grocery store and pick up things like a leash and dog collar, 4 things of whipped cream, 2 things of chocolate sauce, Raid bug spray, duct tape, Drano, and then stop and ask store clerks where the rubber bands and condoms were.
In high school I had a girlfriend that would go through the grocery store and pick up things like a leash and dog collar, 4 things of whipped cream, 2 things of chocolate sauce, Raid bug spray, duct tape, Drano, and then stop and ask store clerks where the rubber bands and condoms were.
Rex
New member
I was working outside for most of the winter a few years back and my hands would get cracked from the cold. I was also dealing with customers on a constant basis so wanted to make sure my breath was fresh, and that I didn't get sick from touching money, etc.
Not thinking I went in to the store and bought hand sanitizer, lotion, and those breath strips. Got a weird frigging look from the clerk.
Not thinking I went in to the store and bought hand sanitizer, lotion, and those breath strips. Got a weird frigging look from the clerk.
white boy
New member
ZKaudio said:
A while back I was at the pharmacy so i was going to pick up some mini- thins and there were 3 women behind the counter talking so I asked them where they kept the ephederine and all their jaws dropped and one said I dont think so and this other little bitch said "maybe in China"
so I ended up getting a box of primatene tabs (expensive) just so I could tell that little bitch "hey look what I found, I did'nt have to go to China after all" she went and hid in the back after I said "thanks for all your help though I realy appreciate the great customer service"
I hate buying toilet paper! I know it shouldn't be embarassing, but for some reason it is. Maybe it's because I buy 48 rolls at a time... so I feel like people see me carrying this HUGE amount and think WTF? I probably wouldn't feel weird buying a pack of 8... but it's not cost effective.
onerepmaximum
New member
Thanks for the ideas. There's a girl that I work with who always gets me some strange shit for Christmas. She's getting some depends and a turkey baster this year baby! Maybe a jar of pickled pigs feet if I can afford them.pitbullstl said:
Monkey Pox
New member
I was in Safeway and it was like one of those bad sitcoms. When I got to the counter the clerk yells out to the stock guy standing in the aisle a little ways away, "hey, I need a price check on this minoxidil !" The stock guy yells back, "what is that?" Clerk yells back, "You know, that stuff for when you are losing your hair." Totally true. The people in the line behind me were dying laughing.
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anabolicmd
Guest
tiger88 said:
Griz1
New member
1. KY personal lubricant
2. Tampons
3. bottle of Jack Daniels
4. tweezers
5. whipped cream
6. Hustler Magazine
7. 4 rolls of camera film
8. Half a dozen enemas
9. Condoms (of course)
10. half dozen big batteries (the big flashlight ones)
11. rubber dish gloves (the heavy kind)
Then ask the clerk if she wants to go to a party tonight.
2. Tampons
3. bottle of Jack Daniels
4. tweezers
5. whipped cream
6. Hustler Magazine
7. 4 rolls of camera film
8. Half a dozen enemas
9. Condoms (of course)
10. half dozen big batteries (the big flashlight ones)
11. rubber dish gloves (the heavy kind)
Then ask the clerk if she wants to go to a party tonight.
Alkybanshee
Active member
One time when I was a little kid my bro and I put a value size pack of condoms in some old ladys basket and then we followed her around untill she checked out. It was great watching her deny they were hers. I know it was wrong, but what the hell. 
Generic MALE
New member
After our first child was born I had to go buy pads for my wife. I was embarrassed. I had no idea what to get. I remember standing there trying to figure out what to get , out of the myriad of possibilities. I asked some lady to help me. No big deal when I look back, but then it was a bit embarrassing.
\DepressiveJuice said:condoms. im a shy person
she buys them
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Buffy Beffy
Guest
juicedmullet said:\
she buys them
Yeah right, like you use them.
Buffy Beffy said:
have before
My reply to this whole thread is, who cares!
I'm sure these grocery clerks see all kinds of fucked up shit everyday!
Some of the stuff posted on here is pretty amusing, but items like condoms, K-Y, Vaseline, TP, etc.... should not be embarrasing to purchase. I personally like to wipe my ass clean after taking a shit or putting vaseline on my chapped lips; Oh, and K-Y is one of the greatest inventions of man kind!
Lastly, your items are being checked by a clerk! I think it would be more embarrasing to be a grocery store clerk than to buy hemorroid cream! lol
I'm sure these grocery clerks see all kinds of fucked up shit everyday!
Some of the stuff posted on here is pretty amusing, but items like condoms, K-Y, Vaseline, TP, etc.... should not be embarrasing to purchase. I personally like to wipe my ass clean after taking a shit or putting vaseline on my chapped lips; Oh, and K-Y is one of the greatest inventions of man kind!
Lastly, your items are being checked by a clerk! I think it would be more embarrasing to be a grocery store clerk than to buy hemorroid cream! lol
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