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Men. any idea?

myway

Banned
Ok. When doing my husbands laundry, I found undies(not mine) mixed with his clothes. He said he didn't know where they came from. The only other person that EVER does laundry at my house is my good friend,melissa. She says they aren't hers. I am under the impression that the CORRECT action would be to trust my husband. I keep trying to wrap my mind around it....it's not working. He can't give me any logical explaination about these unknown undies ending up in our house/laundry.
I haven't reacted in any crazy way...yet :rolleyes: .......but I am not satisfied with the responses from him. Hmmmm.
Wonder what I should do with this sittuation.....any ideas?
BTW- I'm not wanting to fight. I just want a reason from him that could make this make sense.
So far, he said he loves me, would never cheat or lie and he wants me to trust him. That would all work out fine if I wasn't hold in my hand slut undies that DO NOT belong to me. I'm trying to br reasonable. Where do I go from now?
 
Oh damn… All I know is panties do not magically appear out of nowhere.
 
calveless wonder said:
is it like a plausible size?


family members staying over?

No family has stayed over and they are not my size or brand. Red,lacy g-string. A size bigger than mine but deff. sluty undies.... but not my size or brand. When I buy undies, I buy small. These are LARGE. No way they are mine. No family members or anyone else has stayed here or done laundry here.
 
red lacy g-string is not good.....those r the come fuck me panties...just saying.

does he have a cell?
 
trizo said:
Oh damn… All I know is panties do not magically appear out of nowhere.

Exactly. I'm trying to be reasonable. They must have been brought into my house by someone. He just said it wasn't him. He says he has no idea.
 
someone broke in during the middle of the night and put them in your dryer :rolleyes:

use your head woman

do not fear dealing with the truth, always trust your gut
 
8and20 said:
red lacy g-string is not good.....those r the come fuck me panties...just saying.

does he have a cell?

yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.
 
trizo said:
And why do chicks always leave panties behind?

i had a chic tell me once (she was the other woman in another relationship). she says to get him busted so as to move up and become the new woman. he kept telling her he was going to leave his wife.
 
myway said:
yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.


Wow this sounds like an epiosde of cheaters.
 
8and20 said:
i had a chic tell me once (she was the other woman in another relationship). she says to get him busted so as to move up and become the new woman. he kept telling her he was going to leave his wife.

Yeah women leave their panties on purpose to mark their territory.
 
myway said:
yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.

i am sorry u r in this situation but from my perspective it screams another woman. if he was smart he is using prepaid for the other cell. use your intuition it is probably right, that is what it is for. i would keep a lid on it until u do some investigating and get more evidence. if u r wrong (doubt it) then it was for the better u didnt make an issue of it. if u r right u want to have proof.
 
8and20 said:
i had a chic tell me once (she was the other woman in another relationship). she says to get him busted so as to move up and become the new woman. he kept telling her he was going to leave his wife.

I could see that happening.

I heard on the radio a few years about girls taking the rubber from guys they slept with after sex and using a turkey baser to try an impregnate themselves so they can trap them for child support.
 
8and20 said:
i had a chic tell me once (she was the other woman in another relationship). she says to get him busted so as to move up and become the new woman. he kept telling her he was going to leave his wife.

If that's the case...she can have him. That's simple. My problem is that he tried HARD to convince me that there is no logical explaination and he would never do such a thing. I have been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt....but there is no other explaination. If he would just be honest, it would make things much easier. I'm all about communication. I'm just not the type to ignore obvious things. I need an answer from him or things will keep getting worse.
 
i think that theyre melissa's and that she is embarassed...you probably went over to her and were like: 'are these your slut undies' .... uhh, no?
 
8and20 said:
i am sorry u r in this situation but from my perspective it screams another woman. if he was smart he is using prepaid for the other cell. use your intuition it is probably right, that is what it is for. i would keep a lid on it until u do some investigating and get more evidence. if u r wrong (doubt it) then it was for the better u didnt make an issue of it. if u r right u want to have proof.

^^
Always trust 8and20's advise. If you have access to his PC at home I can show you a few things so you can catch him.
 
if the woman i loved found another girls panties in MY laundry and I honestly did not know where they came from i'd be throwing a massive steroid-induced fit of rage while balling my eyes out swearing on everything holy that i had no idea where they came from just because i know that shit would stick in her mind forever unless she was 10000000% sure i was innocent

that and i would help her find out where they came from and not fucking sleep until we figured it out
 
swole said:
if the woman i loved found another girls panties in MY laundry and I honestly did not know where they came from i'd be throwing a massive steroid-induced fit of rage while balling my eyes out swearing on everything holy that i had no idea where they came from just because i know that shit would stick in her mind forever unless she was 10000000% sure i was innocent

that and i would help her find out where they came from and not fucking sleep until we figured it out

ahh good point
 
nimbus said:
i think that theyre melissa's and that she is embarassed...you probably went over to her and were like: 'are these your slut undies' .... uhh, no?

lol. No. All of her undies are slutty. They aren't her size. Plus, she was prolly more angry than I was because she is the person who set me up with my hubby. She said she feel guilty.
 
1mypamty.jpg
 
Oh Sally, don't be so gullible.

Did some panty fairy just fly in and throw them in the hamper??

If i found panties in my laundry, i'd be freaked out!

It's up to you if you just wanna close your eyes and ignore it (usual female response) or start asking some tough questions, the answers of which you may not like. Those panties didn't just "appear".

Then prepare Plan B. A kitchen knife works great.

r
 
myway said:
lol. No. All of her undies are slutty. They aren't her size. Plus, she was prolly more angry than I was because she is the person who set me up with my hubby. She said she feel guilty.

sorry i can't think of anythign else :(

hope things turn out ok
 
swole said:
if the woman i loved found another girls panties in MY laundry and I honestly did not know where they came from i'd be throwing a massive steroid-induced fit of rage while balling my eyes out swearing on everything holy that i had no idea where they came from just because i know that shit would stick in her mind forever unless she was 10000000% sure i was innocent

that and i would help her find out where they came from and not fucking sleep until we figured it out

Well, that's kinda what I thought, too.
He just said he had no idea and that I should trust him. Then, he started saying how much he loves me. After that, he went to bed. That was at 8pm.
 
women or the only mammals that ignore their intuition.

in our society, you are trained to ignore it.

think about getting on an elevator, it stops on a floor, a suspicious man gets on....your intuition tells you to get off the elevator but you ignore and the door shuts...

trust your intuition.

i do not mean to be clinical and cold, actually my heart goes out to ya, but don't ignore evidence and most importantly, your gut.
 
trizo said:
I could see that happening.

I heard on the radio a few years about girls taking the rubber from guys they slept with after sex and using a turkey baser to try an impregnate themselves so they can trap them for child support.

That is why if you have to throw away a condom. Pour a little tabasco sause in it.

It's a Lycus 101 rule baby!
 
all the whey said:
That is why if you have to throw away a condom. Pour a little tabasco sause in it.

It's a Lycus 101 rule baby!

That's where I heard it LMAO...
 
Just wait and see if there is a logical explanation.

If not. Then, just play it cool.

Start looking into phone bills, emails, etc. On the down low!
 
layinback said:
women or the only mammals that ignore their intuition.

in our society, you are trained to ignore it.

think about getting on an elevator, it stops on a floor, a suspicious man gets on....your intuition tells you to get off the elevator but you ignore and the door shuts...

trust your intuition.

i do not mean to be clinical and cold, actually my heart goes out to ya, but don't ignore evidence and most importantly, your gut.

I usually do a great job of following my intuition. I just feel like I need to do everything VERY carefully because I have a 10 week old son. I guess I just don't know how to deal with this sittuation. Before I had my baby, I would have just left. Easy enough.
 
myway said:
I usually do a great job of following my intuition. I just feel like I need to do everything VERY carefully because I have a 10 week old son. I guess I just don't know how to deal with this sittuation. Before I had my baby, I would have just left. Easy enough.

:(

we r here for ya if u need anything
 
myway said:
I know. Thank you :heart:

Yeah we hate have you feeling down.

We know it can be quite a blow to your self esteem.
 
it could be from a strip club and he didn't do anything but was embarrassed that it accidentally made it's way to your laundry

trying to weigh out all the options
 
all the whey said:
Yeah we hate have you feeling down.

We know it can be quite a blow to your self esteem.

I feel fine about myself...... it's him that I'm thinking less of.
 
Start thinking of the last time you did laundry and work out a timeline going forward from there. Maybe think of anytimes he had the house to himself or came home from lunch when you werent there. I know it sucks investigating these sorts of things but its important to not jump to any conclusions too fast. Cell phone/computer records are good. I would make damn sure theres no way they arent melissas either, tahts a pretty big coincidence shes doing laundry at your place.
 
Taze him in the balls in the middle of the night...

When he wakes up in pain and disoriented tell him you don't know where the tazer came from and you love him and he should trust you.

Also, send me all of his guns please.
 
layinback said:
women or the only mammals that ignore their intuition.

in our society, you are trained to ignore it.

think about getting on an elevator, it stops on a floor, a suspicious man gets on....your intuition tells you to get off the elevator but you ignore and the door shuts...

trust your intuition.

i do not mean to be clinical and cold, actually my heart goes out to ya, but don't ignore evidence and most importantly, your gut.
Menz do it as well. De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt when people want to protect the status quo of their life. :)
 
swole said:
it could be from a strip club and he didn't do anything but was embarrassed that it accidentally made it's way to your laundry

trying to weigh out all the options

I don't have a problem with strip clubs but he hasn't had time to go to one in a while.
I'm that type of girl that can walk away in peace if honesty is put into play.
If he lies to me, it's gonna be hell. I think he knows these things about me.
 
I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt here. You already said your friend washed her clothes at your house. Why is she washing clothes at your house? More importantly WHERE ELSE does she wash her clothes? Maybe she picked 'em up by mistake at the last place she washed clothes. Now they're just in with hers and she brought 'em over to your place.

Also you said they were big draws. Fat girls don't leave big draws at nobody else house. (I don't really talk like this. I'm just tryin sound like I got street cred. You feel me?). That's prolly the only good pair she got. The rest are those white cottons from Omar the Tent maker.

Matter of fact I bet Melissa's man is cheatin on her and Big Girl left them draws at her house. Now she floatin down Denial river so she dumped 'em at your place so you can blame yo man. I don't like her already.

P.S. Depending how big Big Gurl is I might be able to take her outta your way any how.
 
:)
mountain muscle said:
Taze him in the balls in the middle of the night...

When he wakes up in pain and disoriented tell him you don't know where the tazer came from and you love him and he should trust you.

Also, send me all of his guns please.

Sounds like a solid plan. :)
 
Dial_tone said:
I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt here. You already said your friend washed her clothes at your house. Why is she washing clothes at your house? More importantly WHERE ELSE does she wash her clothes? Maybe she picked 'em up by mistake at the last place she washed clothes. Now they're just in with hers and she brought 'em over to your place.

Also you said they were big draws. Fat girls don't leave big draws at nobody else house. (I don't really talk like this. I'm just tryin sound like I got street cred. You feel me?). That's prolly the only good pair she got. The rest are those white cottons from Omar the Tent maker.

Matter of fact I bet Melissa's man is cheatin on her and Big Girl left them draws at her house. Now she floatin down Denial river so she dumped 'em at your place so you can blame yo man. I don't like her already.

P.S. Depending how big Big Gurl is I might be able to take her outta your way any how.

I like the way you think but Melissa only did laundry at my house once(when she was moving) about 6 months ago. Plus, they aren't her size. If they were from her, they would have turned up months ago.
 
myway said:
I like the way you think but Melissa only did laundry at my house once(when she was moving) about 6 months ago. Plus, they aren't her size. If they were from her, they would have turned up months ago.
you left out the "6 months ago" part. If you guys are reasonably neat and organized any of melissas clothes definetely would have showed up long ago.
 
superdave said:
you left out the "6 months ago" part. If you guys are reasonably neat and organized any of melissas clothes definetely would have showed up long ago.

Exactly. When we do laundry, we do it all. I don't think a pair of red undies would have been stuck to the inside of the dryer for six months.
 
swole said:
someone broke in during the middle of the night and put them in your dryer :rolleyes:

use your head woman

do not fear dealing with the truth, always trust your gut
Took the words out of my mouth.
 
myway said:
Exactly. When we do laundry, we do it all. I don't think a pair of red undies would have been stuck to the inside of the dryer for six months.
My chick friends in college called them "hook up panties." If she was going on a date and expected some pipe to be laid she would always put on her best hook up panties. :)
 
It's harder to leave with a little baby. Gotta get stuff set up, first. This sux. I wonder if I should just play dumb like I think he's telling the truth. That way, it will be easier for me to get out of here. No sense in trying to work anything out if he's still not telling the truth.
 
myway said:
It's harder to leave with a little baby. Gotta get stuff set up, first. This sux. I wonder if I should just play dumb like I think he's telling the truth. That way, it will be easier for me to get out of here. No sense in trying to work anything out if he's still not telling the truth.
I wouldn't make any big decisions based on the posts you get on an internet chat board, I'm posting as Brian and not Javaguru. Talk to the people close to you in real life, listen to them. :)
 
myway said:
It's harder to leave with a little baby. Gotta get stuff set up, first. This sux. I wonder if I should just play dumb like I think he's telling the truth. That way, it will be easier for me to get out of here. No sense in trying to work anything out if he's still not telling the truth.
Hit him with the ole "we can get thru this a lot easier if you just tell the truth to me now" even if it doesn't really change what you do. You just want the truth now, that's all.
 
superdave said:
Start thinking of the last time you did laundry and work out a timeline going forward from there. Maybe think of anytimes he had the house to himself or came home from lunch when you werent there. I know it sucks investigating these sorts of things but its important to not jump to any conclusions too fast. Cell phone/computer records are good. I would make damn sure theres no way they arent melissas either, tahts a pretty big coincidence shes doing laundry at your place.
Maybe they are a friend of melissa's who left them at her place or somethin?
 
myway said:
It's harder to leave with a little baby. Gotta get stuff set up, first. This sux. I wonder if I should just play dumb like I think he's telling the truth. That way, it will be easier for me to get out of here. No sense in trying to work anything out if he's still not telling the truth.

I think you need a confession or more proof. Seems like hes acting too casually and not even trying to come up with a plausible explanation if he did cheat. Im a man and if I did cheat I would find a damn good reason when my wife and mother of my newborn confronts me with another womans underwear. None of this "I just have no idea how they got there" crap.

I would come up with a reason they got there ASAP even if it involved getting someone else to lie for me.
 
myway said:
yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.



he's a cop too. definitely cheating on you.
 
hes a cop? ok forget about any usual tactic suspicious wives use when they suspect their man is cheating.
Youre pretty much just stuck with his word and your gut
 
Dean Martin rules...


I know that someday you'll want me to want you
When I'm in love with somebody else
You expect me to be true and to keep on loving you
Though I'm feeling blue
You think I can't forget you
Until someday you'll want me to want you
When I'm strong for somebody new
And though you don't want me now
I'll get along somehow
And then I won't won't want you


Until someday you'll want me to want you
When I'm strong for somebody new
Although you don't want me now
I'll get along somehow
And then I won't I won't want you
 
myway said:
lol. i am her only friend. she hasn't done laundry at my house for over 6 months.

I hope he doesn't decide to login to EF anytime soon.
 
myway said:
yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.

Undies and a clean phone? You need some cameras and a PI woman! All cheaters will feed you the bs "I love you.. I would never cheat" crap!! Trust your instincts. It would be a little hard for panties to magically appear in your home. I wouldn't bring it up to him again because then he will find more ways to lie and hide things. Instead you need to be sneaky and do some investigating!!
 
silverstar1025 said:
Undies and a clean phone? You need some cameras and a PI woman! All cheaters will feed you the bs "I love you.. I would never cheat" crap!! Trust your instincts. It would be a little hard for panties to magically appear in your home. I wouldn't bring it up to him again because then he will find more ways to lie and hide things. Instead you need to be sneaky and do some investigating!!


Why bother? If you need to do all that, just fuckin end it. If you do all that and he's cheating you will end it. If you do all that and he's not cheating you've fucked up your relationship anyway.

I will tell how you know. If when you found them he acted like it was nothing then you're OK (maybe). If he went out of his way to think of scenarios, worry!
 
rudeboyja said:
Why bother? If you need to do all that, just fuckin end it. If you do all that and he's cheating you will end it. If you do all that and he's not cheating you've fucked up your relationship anyway.

I will tell how you know. If when you found them he acted like it was nothing then you're OK (maybe). If he went out of his way to think of scenarios, worry!

She didn't ruin her relationship if she finds nothing as long as he doesn't know she is looking. Oh and just because he was calm, doesn't mean he didn't do anything. My ex boyfriend played the calm cool I didn't cheat it wasnt me I don't know who is telling you this shit and guess what I believed him. Months later I got my proof by accident.
 
silverstar1025 said:
She didn't ruin her relationship if she finds nothing as long as he doesn't know she is looking. Oh and just because he was calm, doesn't mean he didn't do anything. My ex boyfriend played the calm cool I didn't cheat it wasnt me I don't know who is telling you this shit and guess what I believed him. Months later I got my proof by accident.

I hear you. Things are SOOO much easier when you let women know straight up that you don't believe in monogamy...

My point is if she has to even do that she pretty much has her answer. And he will most likely find out one day, or there's just another secret in the relationship-- which goes back to my point that it's fucked
 
oh god damnit i would have hisballs twisted up into his throat until he screamed out in mercy with the truth about those fuckin panties. i would torture him until he confessed and then Id leave him sobbing and convulsing in a ball on the floor.


good luck
 
Did you suspect him of cheating before you found the dirty drawers? Try to link this with other actions in the past and things in the future that will come up that may raise your suspicions.

If he was cheating, he's probably cooled off now because of this.

Again, you're sure their not yours? I wouldn't take him to the mat yet, but watch closely.
 
swole said:
if the woman i loved found another girls panties in MY laundry and I honestly did not know where they came from i'd be throwing a massive steroid-induced fit of rage while balling my eyes out swearing on everything holy that i had no idea where they came from just because i know that shit would stick in her mind forever unless she was 10000000% sure i was innocent

that and i would help her find out where they came from and not fucking sleep until we figured it out
^^^^ I am liking what swole has to say here.
 
I'd wear those bitches on my head until someone fessed up to the truth. If he looks guilty as hell everytime he looks at you with those silly panties on your head, you got your answer.

Sorry, undies do not just appear outta no where. You sure it's not your "friend" Melissa trying to start some shit?
 
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They're not his size?
To big for Mel's ?
To busy for strip clubs?
If he hasn't had time to do anything, then he doesn't have time to do ANYTHING. I've heard of some low shit being pulled. You know, like the jealous a-hole at work who put's shit in your duffel bag. Shampoo in a rubber under the seat of a car. Shit like that. If he pissed off someone who'd like to fuck up his world this could be it.

What I don't get is his lack of concern. If you are f'ed up about it, he should have an idea what it is thats bothering you. If he won't / doesn't have some plausible explanation then he's full of shit.

WTF would he think if he came home and found a tie hanging over the back of a chair?
 
myway said:
yea, he has a cell. I think he deletes a lot of stuff on the way home from work. I know he talks to people but his phone records are always clean. He prolly uses a differnt cell. A lot of cops have a secret phone.
When I was a NC State Trooper, I was always meeting women and most of the time they were Whores looking for a man in uniform.. I can tell you that alot of police officers have affairs due to the fact that there is alot of freedom in the position.... Would he bring someone to your house though? Trust me, if you have a feeling that he is then you need to hire a Private Investigator.. if nothing more than to either clear him or confirm your suspicions. Has anything ever happened like this before? What does he do on his days off? I would also look on his keyring and see if he has a PO box.. Also check his cruiser for a second pay as you go cellphone..I hate to say it however what about this friend of yours?
 
To all the ladies in this thread who are convinced he's cheating - how many times have y'all left your hookup's house so fast you forgot your damn undies? And don't act like you ho's ain't never hooked up either. I know every damn one of you been on the walk of shame many times.
 
Dial_tone said:
To all the ladies in this thread who are convinced he's cheating - how many times have y'all left your hookup's house so fast you forgot your damn undies? And don't act like you ho's ain't never hooked up either. I know every damn one of you been on the walk of shame many times.

Never with a married man though!
 
vixensghost said:
Never with a married man though!
Who is to say she knew? Unless she went into the bathroom and panty hose and Kotex, in which case i would think she'd be extra careful not to leave anything behind. Maybe it's just me but I expect people to be smarter than that....then again I have watched Cheaters enough times to know better.
 
swole said:
it could be from a strip club and he didn't do anything but was embarrassed that it accidentally made it's way to your laundry

trying to weigh out all the options
I had this same thought - or a bachelor party or something.
 
Dial_tone said:
Who is to say she knew? Unless she went into the bathroom and panty hose and Kotex, in which case i would think she'd be extra careful not to leave anything behind. Maybe it's just me but I expect people to be smarter than that....then again I have watched Cheaters enough times to know better.

Or...Maybe her hubby allowed one of his buddies to use their house for gettin it on with his mistress during a lunch hour.

I'd still wear those panties on my head at night until someone fessed up...Just sayin.
 
Do they look brand new? Just throwin out alternatives - maybe you went shopping recently and they wound up in your bag then in the laundry.
 
panties are easily lost because they are small and can be lost when someone is trying to leave in a rush. I still dont see how they could end up in the laundry though. Someone had to pick them up and put them there.
 
Would he seriously bring her panties into your house? No, I think not. This is an attempt by your friend to set that man up.
 
Tytan said:
Would he seriously bring her panties into your house? No, I think not. This is an attempt by your friend to set that man up.
I think your right.. there is probably something either going on or has gone on between the two of them and she is probably pissed and thats how this has happened..manhaters
 
Smurfy said:
oh god damnit i would have hisballs twisted up into his throat until he screamed out in mercy with the truth about those fuckin panties. i would torture him until he confessed and then Id leave him sobbing and convulsing in a ball on the floor.


good luck

Settle down!

It's not like he snapped her with a wet towel while she was going about her business.
 
1mython.jpg
 
Dial_tone said:
To all the ladies in this thread who are convinced he's cheating - how many times have y'all left your hookup's house so fast you forgot your damn undies? And don't act like you ho's ain't never hooked up either. I know every damn one of you been on the walk of shame many times.


Okay BUT he is married with a baby....there should be no undies left anymore and if it was in the past..she would have noticed them before
 
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