Ladies, need your help!

[BeachDude022]

My girlfriend and I have been together for only 3 months, I'm 30, she's 31, and our sex life is almost non-existent because of the antidepressants that she's taking. They have totally killed her sex drive. We have sex about once a week...that's it and lately it's so bad she just cries because she's just not into it. She told me that everything from the neck on down is working, but mentally she can't connect with it and put it all together. Are there any supplements out there that she can take that may help her out or something that she can do to release this mental block? It's pretty bad and I'm about to snap because I'm juicing right now and I have the hormones of a 16 year old boy. The doc has changed her meds at least a dozen times in the passed 2 months b/c of this issue, but nothing is working. At first, the sex was amazing, we'd both get off every time and now she's just not even trying and neither of us are enjoying it or getting off. I truly love her more than anyone I have ever been with, so we have to get this working...we just don't know what else to do!

 

[musclemom]

The short answer is, no, particularly not in this situation. The reality is that for a women, generally speaking, sex is more about the stuff from the neck up. There are no quick fixes to female libido problems, particularly not when things are being impacted by antidepressants and/or mental health problems. Anything that you give her that would affect her libido could potentially affect her mental state. All of this goes into why they cannot come up with "Female Viagra." Postmenopausal, totally different but you're talking about a woman in the prime of her life.

I hope she's in therapy in conjunction with the antidepressants. That's what works best.

 

[Roxy722]

I would agree with musclemom. It's usually about issues from the neck up for females. A couple of thoughts though. She could get a physical and get her blood work done just to make sure hormone levels are ok. In terms of anti depressants, most of them take 4-6 weeks to even reach theraputic levels so changing them a dozen times in 2 months (or even half that) seems counter productive to me and would create havoc in someone's body. The flip side of that is if she's tried all these different meds and is still having issues, perhaps some strong therapy is more appropriate. Meds only work if the problem is related to brain chemistry. I honestly think though, there are meds that should not impact libido as much and it will be a matter of being patient and allowing them to "kick in".

The other thing I would say is try not to push. I know what it's like to be on a gear and be so crazy horny but if she's crying now, it will only get worse if she feels pressured and that's gonna cause bigger issues and bigger mental blocks. She will become even more shut down.

Good luck to both of you.

 

[BeachDude022]

Thanks for the advice. I wish she didn't lack motivation. She isn't active at all. She used to love jogging and she was in great shape. She's gaining weight now, not fitting her clothes, and it discourages her so much that she doesn't do anything but sleep and sit on her butt all day. I told her today that maybe she would feel better if she would get more active and get her blood pumping again. Of course, she bit my head off instead. I truly do love her more than anything in this world, but I'm about to throw in the towel.

 

[Roxy722]

Thanks for the advice. I wish she didn't lack motivation. She isn't active at all. She used to love jogging and she was in great shape. She's gaining weight now, not fitting her clothes, and it discourages her so much that she doesn't do anything but sleep and sit on her butt all day. I told her today that maybe she would feel better if she would get more active and get her blood pumping again. Of course, she bit my head off instead. I truly do love her more than anything in this world, but I'm about to throw in the towel.

I know this will sound bad and I don't mean it to be insensitive but I wonder if it's worth it given that it's only 3 months in? It sounds like something major is going on for her. If she was actively working on things, that would be one thing but if she isn't willing to help herself, that changes things again. She does sound very depressed, based on what you've said. Hopefully, she'll find a med that works and start feeling better. I do wish you both all the best. I have been where your gf is and I know how challenging it is to put things back together.

 

[BeachDude022]

I know this will sound bad and I don't mean it to be insensitive but I wonder if it's worth it given that it's only 3 months in? It sounds like something major is going on for her. If she was actively working on things, that would be one thing but if she isn't willing to help herself, that changes things again. She does sound very depressed, based on what you've said. Hopefully, she'll find a med that works and start feeling better. I do wish you both all the best. I have been where your gf is and I know how challenging it is to put things back together.

yea, i'm thinking that too since it's only 3 months in. i will say, she does treat me like a king, she does love me, she's beautiful, and is everything i've ever wanted in a girl...and then there's this problem she's having that's just getting in the way. her son is 13, doesn't have a father figure and the kid looks up to me in a ton of ways too. it would be a very difficult way out on all ends. i just don't know what to do.

 

[musclemom]

yea, i'm thinking that too since it's only 3 months in. i will say, she does treat me like a king, she does love me, she's beautiful, and is everything i've ever wanted in a girl...and then there's this problem she's having that's just getting in the way. her son is 13, doesn't have a father figure and the kid looks up to me in a ton of ways too. it would be a very difficult way out on all ends. i just don't know what to do.

It's really sweet of you and you sound like a good guy, but you can't help her fix her mental health issues, she has to do it for/by herself. All you can do is be supportive, if you want to make that kind of commitment, or get out sooner rather than later and make the break clean if you can't.

 

[BeachDude022]

Thanks for the advice ladies, you are both awesome! I won't be seeing her this week because she has to work on Thanksgiving and I'm going out of state to see my family. Maybe that'll give her time to get some things together. I'll keep y'all updated.

 

[Island_Girl]

Great advice musclemom and roxy. I don't think I can add anything better to what has already been said. I just wish you the best beachdude!