ironwings journal *

[*ebony*]

Oh ebonycurves. The forbidden question. I get asked this all the time in the gym and they give me the strangest look when I say "nah". It just isn't me. At least not right now. I honestly can't imagine myself on stage in a bikini wearing heels. I commend and encourage those that compete - I believe the discipline that these ladies have is remarkable. When I personally take something on, it becomes me. I become obsessed and it is so healthy. Right now, I like lots of balance in my life. When I'm 40? Perhaps.

So why do I workout so hard? I love feeling strong, it gives me more power than any position, person, or situation could ever provide. I enjoy taking care of my body and experimenting with the laws of science. I also want to lead a example for other women, I enjoy being a wellness mentor and empowering others to own their wellness. I also believe in loving yourself first. This means honoring yourself and your own feelings first. I used to overextend myself to do for others in order to honor their feelings. That is what got me to 162lbs and developing sports induced asthma.

With all that said I, like so many others, have to manage my wellness everyday. One day at a time. I don't always feel like eating healthy or going to the gym. But I'm not whole when I don't.

And btw - the baby face is in my genes, there is no secret. I get it from my dad who has never looked his age.

much love to you ebony - you always inspire me.

i guess that's all that really matters in the end, to be happy and content with your body, you own self, and not so much others. but like most things thats easier said than done, but i guess we all find our own way differently and on our own time. I'm glad you did. i'm sorry if i'm reading too much into what your saying......its just that i've been thinking alot lately- about stuff.lol

 

[ironwings]

i guess that's all that really matters in the end, to be happy and content with your body, you own self, and not so much others. but like most things thats easier said than done, but i guess we all find our own way differently and on our own time. I'm glad you did. i'm sorry if i'm reading too much into what your saying......its just that i've been thinking alot lately- about stuff.lol

Spill girl, that is what we are here for. What I talked about does not come easy and honestly usually takes a life crisis or some major turning point in your life where you all of the sudden become conscious of who you are/or have become. That happened to me several times over. Loving yourself is not looked highly upon in our society. We think we have to be alpha women, and others expect it from us. Focusing on yourself and your feelings/needs requires being in the present and pausing more often. I still find myself feeling like I have to prove myself worth. Who am I kidding?

I bet you are right brained aren't you? Look this book up by Daniel Pink: A Whole New Mind. I think you would find it refreshing, he also did a podcast on Oprah's Spirituality Podcast series that I enjoyed.

 

[*ebony*]

god, i don't evan now what instigated this new train of thought, but i've been thinking, wondering actually for the past couple of days, and asking myself "why?"....a lot. i'd ask how could i go about finding myself when i've never been properly introduced. just go up to a mirror and ask? "why hello there ebonycurves, nice to meet ya. please tell me about your values, likes, dislikes, dreams, fears, strengths and plan for a future that would be very satisfying you, that would make you happy." we...i think about that stuff all the time but it doesn't really count until your aware of it-keyword conscious hah?
or maybe i cant find yourself, maybe i'm lost and can't find any path to lead the way. what then? do i make myself?

ironwings, i've seen that book in our local bookstore alot-never picked up. thank you, i will would like to have a look at it.

P.S. you don't have to reply to my ramble.

 

[ironwings]

I could talk about this stuff ALL DAY. It is an extremely important part of well being and is often overlooked by "weight loss programs".

If I may, I'd like to suggest another reading: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (it is even good on audio and you can listen while getting your cardio in!)

The A Whole New Mind book talk mostly about how right brained people are going to be most valued in the coming years instead of be casted out as ditzy, or flaky, or artsy fartsy. It validates what "we" (right brainers) have felt all along but couldn't describe it in a way that others would understand. It talks about the facts of the shift in the work place and universities around the world. More than anything it is a refreshing read for those of us who have felt to have been seen as unvalued. I have a fine arts major and I can't tell you how many times when I tell someone that they roll their eyes. It is also a good read for those strong left brainers - the might want to listen up ;-)

It is a journey...one step at a time. Feel free to PM me anytime. I love this stuff

 

[OneBreath]

god, i don't evan now what instigated this new train of thought, but i've been thinking, wondering actually for the past couple of days, and asking myself "why?"....a lot. i'd ask how could i go about finding myself when i've never been properly introduced. just go up to a mirror and ask? "why hello there ebonycurves, nice to meet ya. please tell me about your values, likes, dislikes, dreams, fears, strengths and plan for a future that would be very satisfying you, that would make you happy." we...i think about that stuff all the time but it doesn't really count until your aware of it-keyword conscious hah?
or maybe i cant find yourself, maybe i'm lost and can't find any path to lead the way. what then? do i make myself?

ironwings, i've seen that book in our local bookstore alot-never picked up. thank you, i will would like to have a look at it.

P.S. you don't have to reply to my ramble.

I'll reply to your rambling lol. And i second the suggestion of A New Earth.

 

[ironwings]

A New Earth is a good one too by Tolle but it is a little more advanced and more spiritual than The Power of Now.

I still think A Whole New Mind will be a fun read ;-)

I thought of something while killing myself at the gym this morning. Know that it is a journey and if you look for it, you won't find it. It is only in your stillness that you appear. I spent an entire year (maybe a little more) trying to figure out who I was after leaving my marriage. I was trying to create an identity. I'm a single mom, I'm divorced, I'm a wellness coach, I'm a entrepreneur, I'm a dancer, I'm a ..... I thought I knew who I wanted to be. I tried everything to figure it out. Only after learning stillness (consciousness) have I completed my circle. I'm not ".....", I simply am. Allowing myself to grow without forcing what I think I need/want has been the most rewarding experience ever. I have found myself in places/circumstances that I never would have "planned" for myself. I left behind things that I thought were important but simply aren't anymore. I still don't have it down, I imagine I never will, but it is fun being on the journey.

Look in that mirror - just don't ask ebonycurves who she is. Just be.

 

[Thandie]

A New Earth is a good one too by Tolle but it is a little more advanced and more spiritual than The Power of Now.

I still think A Whole New Mind will be a fun read ;-)

I thought of something while killing myself at the gym this morning. Know that it is a journey and if you look for it, you won't find it. It is only in your stillness that you appear. I spent an entire year (maybe a little more) trying to figure out who I was after leaving my marriage. I was trying to create an identity. I'm a single mom, I'm divorced, I'm a wellness coach, I'm a entrepreneur, I'm a dancer, I'm a ..... I thought I knew who I wanted to be. I tried everything to figure it out. Only after learning stillness (consciousness) have I completed my circle. I'm not ".....", I simply am. Allowing myself to grow without forcing what I think I need/want has been the most rewarding experience ever. I have found myself in places/circumstances that I never would have "planned" for myself. I left behind things that I thought were important but simply aren't anymore. I still don't have it down, I imagine I never will, but it is fun being on the journey.

Look in that mirror - just don't ask ebonycurves who she is. Just be.

We can spend all our lives trying to determine who we are, but this is a journey and our views will always change.
Life is like a train ride, we make many stops and meet many people along the way. Some people come with us while others have to get off. When we think we have it figure out, people and things will change again. We just have to keep looking inside and as we do that we become more comfortable with ourselves and happier with who we are and where we are.

 

[*ebony*]

I could talk about this stuff ALL DAY. It is an extremely important part of well being and is often overlooked by "weight loss programs".

If I may, I'd like to suggest another reading: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (it is even good on audio and you can listen while getting your cardio in!)

The A Whole New Mind book talk mostly about how right brained people are going to be most valued in the coming years instead of be casted out as ditzy, or flaky, or artsy fartsy. It validates what "we" (right brainers) have felt all along but couldn't describe it in a way that others would understand. It talks about the facts of the shift in the work place and universities around the world. More than anything it is a refreshing read for those of us who have felt to have been seen as unvalued. I have a fine arts major and I can't tell you how many times when I tell someone that they roll their eyes. It is also a good read for those strong left brainers - the might want to listen up ;-)

It is a journey...one step at a time. Feel free to PM me anytime. I love this stuff

how interesting, sounds like a great read. i'm a bit impatient now to start on it.lol

a fine art major eh? well i definitely wont be rolling my eyes at you as i have been known to "doodle" a bit....okay lot. its my hobby, me time. i like to create things, make something out of nothing, bring life to it. sketching, painting, claywork, wood, welding, whatever. it lets me do that. sometimes I'd spend hours creating something and i'd lose track of time, its like a really good book where reality just fades away and you get so caught up, so enticed with what is transforming right before your eyes...evan if you don't know what it is that is you are making. so no, i def. wont roll my eyes at 'the arts'. its been my escape for as long as i remember.

 

[*ebony*]

We can spend all our lives trying to determine who we are, but this is a journey and our views will always change.
Life is like a train ride, we make many stops and meet many people along the way. Some people come with us while others have to get off. When we think we have it figure out, people and things will change again. We just have to keep looking inside and as we do that we become more comfortable with ourselves and happier with who we are and where we are.

lol, so simple, yet so complicated. then agian that's life isn't it....

this morning, i watched the sun rise, those first glimpses of light and i don't know why i had missed out on it before, so beautiful. its such a sacred time, where you feel alone, not a bad loneliness, just a sense of wholeness...IDK. you can just close you eyes and breathe in the cool air, let the fading darkness of the night just envelope you. its a good thing it doesn't get too cold here cause i sure did just stand there for a while. i'm always running and god i miss...been missing so much along the way. me thinks, time to slow down a bit, and just appreciate the now.

 

[ironwings]

how interesting, sounds like a great read. i'm a bit impatient now to start on it.lol

a fine art major eh? well i definitely wont be rolling my eyes at you as i have been known to "doodle" a bit....okay lot. its my hobby, me time. i like to create things, make something out of nothing, bring life to it. sketching, painting, claywork, wood, welding, whatever. it lets me do that. sometimes I'd spend hours creating something and i'd lose track of time, its like a really good book where reality just fades away and you get so caught up, so enticed with what is transforming right before your eyes...evan if you don't know what it is that is you are making. so no, i def. wont roll my eyes at 'the arts'. its been my escape for as long as i remember.

Do you know what you are feeling when you are "lost" in your art? The present. Consciousness. Your mind is completely focused on the task at hand and that is refreshing. Now if we could only find that presence in every moment. I have started with just simple things. When I am with my son, I am trying to be completely present with him - no other distractions. This has taken lots of practice and I still don't have it down yet. Our relationship has always been good but it is even stronger now. He can sense what I am doing.

I thought you were right brain! I can't say that I can draw anymore although I used to spend hours doing it. I am an interior architect by trade (I don't practice anymore). This allowed me to pull together projects that I could see in my head and make them reality - impacted other's environment and often impacted the experience they have in the space. I could tell a story through spacial elements, I didn't have to be definitive. I could see a vision and make it come to life for others to see. That is what I love and can become lost in (besides what I do now!!). Dance would be my second way of communicating the arts. Our bodies tell such wonderful stories!

The present is called "present" for a reason.