I'm freaking out! Just got back from over-seas... No more PRIMORDIAL PERFORMANCE?

[Windkun]

Hey guys, I just got back from many many tours over seas, I haven't been body-building / getting ripped since 09 when i was last here on the forums and would post here for years.

Prim Performance was my go to place for 1T Tren, Sustain Alpha etc Now I don't know where to go or what to do.

Toss me some help boys - I came back from the USMC Scrawny (believe it or not) My former 4.6% body fat at 180 pounds, (5'9ish) is now a 140 and I havent checked my body fat... but I am not rippin lookin' I'm look SCRAWNY.

 

[VanCity.]

of course you look scrawny at 5'9 and 140!!

 

[EZ_E]

Forma Stanzol is the new Sustain Alpha

https://www.mrsupps.com/Products/18/Forma+Stanzol/

~EZ

 

[1Johnboy]

Holy shit did they feed you man? That is a very low weight.

 

[Windkun]

I was shot in the shoulder; Shrapnel in the hip, and finally a blast concussion to top it off from an IED while transporting. 5KIA, 2WIA including myself. I was medically discharged after my third purple heart since joining , and I believe that has a lot to do with the weight.

And to be honest; you can work out if you have time but... Food is not always the best for a muscle diet; and often you do not sleep at all if things are tense (atleast how it was, it became much more quiet).

 

[joeblow12345]

I was shot in the shoulder; Shrapnel in the hip, and finally a blast concussion to top it off from an IED while transporting. 5KIA, 2WIA including myself. I was medically discharged after my third purple heart since joining , and I believe that has a lot to do with the weight.

And to be honest; you can work out if you have time but... Food is not always the best for a muscle diet; and often you do not sleep at all if things are tense (atleast how it was, it became much more quiet).

Honestly bro I think for the next year or two you should focus on getting back to normal. Get back in the gym and start eating to put on mass. This will help you gain most of your weight back slowly and safely. Once you have your base back and have had time to get used to being on a good training program then consider using ph's and juice. At 140 the only thing that you need to do is eat and lift.

 

[Fishak]

I agree^^

Glad your alright bro.

 

[Windkun]

I'm still rather defined and cut thus the bulk process would be ideal; at this point I've been "Functional" for a long time. I was medically Discharged about 6 months ago, and the previous purple heart occured 3 years prior. - The only thing with blast concussions such as the case with mine is it may lead to neuro damage down the line of which they can not predict. I was told I may lose feeling in my Left hand... 1st bt. 7th marines. Oorah.

Joe, I do agree - but something is stopping me from going. I do not feel motivated. All the regulars still go to the gym, I used to personal train at this gym. I do not want to walk in thin and even though they know it had to due with my service in both Iraq (started camp commando) and then Afghan, it's almost like I am ashamed even though I am still in better shape than the majority of the USA; still have a six back, tri's that show normal etc just... a small dude. Glad I am still cut... perhaps PTSD has had some odd mental effect on my thinking process and how I perceive myself and how I think they perceive me... I just know I am a lot different now

I feel that I need to start something that will aid even in smaller ways such as Sustain Alpha; with Anavar for example; Prim Perf used to have 1-T Tren Topical Solution that was OUT OF THIS WORLD! I cycled that with sustain alpha afterwards (and a stack to end the use) went thru two 1-T Tren Bottles and the Defined Muscle Mass, Strength, and Testosterone filled self-confidence was INCREDIBLE in terms of results.

They say never use unless you've hit a peak in your lifting. I used to follow that rule that I learned on these forums years ago - the issue with me now is... I never was NOT in the gym. 4 days a week and 2 more days a week just training (4 days on the clock training with my own time to lift). I never was not gobbling hordes of food, I was cycling every once in awhile and never had any negative after-effects due to how I took care of the cycle... The issue is as explained above; It will motivate me to get back into all natty. I just can't go in all natty.

I'm a US Marine but to be honest; I can imagine myself having a panic attack and crying / overwhelmed once I actually go to the gym lift for a bit and realize the amount of strength I have lost in all my lifts... The PTSD has caused awful anxiety attacks and flashes of the terrible things we all did over-seas and that have happened to us, flashes of friends no longer with me etc. I have no confidence going in all natty again; starting from scratch + more since I scrawned down so much. -sigh-

I hope someone understands exactly what I am going thru and what I am talking about.

Wind-out.

 

[Wardo]

From one Marine to another. Welcome home, glad you're still with us!!

 

[Windkun]

From one Marine to another. Welcome home, glad you're still with us!!

Semper Fi Devil!

Thank you very much and I am glad you came home safe as well. As you know; front line is brutal. As Recon we still kept with the rest of the Marines; it seemed more of a title to seem "elite" more than anything else in 70% of the time I was over in Iraq, although we did have complete streets of buildings to breach and secure which was Recon only; in Afghan we operated as a seperated squad that was always a maximum of 5 clicks from the main infrantry from the 1st bt 7th; unless we had been ordered to work with McCoys Marines of the 3rd.

 

[Wardo]

Small world I just left 2/7 last year. Just missed their last Afgan tour. Well hit me up if you ever need anything...

 

[devildoc]

2/7 damn bro I remember in 09 when those guys were coming home from the stan. They were fucked up. Good on ya bro. I was woth 3D LAR before

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Wardo]

Yeah they took a lot of shit out there

 

[Windkun]

Small world I just left 2/7 last year. Just missed their last Afgan tour. Well hit me up if you ever need anything...

Very much appreciated, and the same goes to you my brother.

My large concern with getting back into bodybuilding and training is.. The medications i am on PTSD; Pain; etc

Listed below:
--60 2MG Xanax a month (45 prescribed on a regular dose; extra 15 for when panic occurs.)

--90 1 MG Klonopin a month (morn. afternoon. night; preventive attempt to stop anxiety / panic attacks)

--120 1 MG Ativan a month (1MG afternoon, 1MG Late evening, 2MG 1 hour before bed)

--60 XanaX Time Release Tablets 3MG (To be taken right before I lay down to have the 3MG slowly be consistant so I do not wake up in benzo withdrawal , Then to be taken in the morning as well to keep it consistant despite the mix of 3 different Benzo's with a regular 2MG xanax and these triangle shaped 3MG...)

--15 8MG Buprenorphine HCL (4MG once daily; Opiate for pain management, not to be confused with Buprenorphine with Naloxone; this is the version only prescribed to select few for long term pain management instead of Oxycodone or Fentanyl etc)

--180 Tramadol HCL (Synthetic Opiod that is used for days that I have break thru pain as it binds together with Buprenorphine)

--30 30MG Adderall Extended Release Capsules a month (once daily; I was never ADHD but they prescribed me these amphetamine salts to balance me out as when I came back I had the "Shell shock" "No motivation / concentration" thing

--30 20mg Adderall Instant Release Tablets (For after the XR capsules wear off)

---------------------------

after typing that list out... I feel that I may get some weird stares at the monitor due to the doses and medications I am on, War is honest Hell. I act like it doesn't affect me to family, my Fiance, my brothers - but they know... how bad it gets for me...

That combination of medications... will it murder my lifts?

 

[joeblow12345]

I do understand where your coming from bro as I'm a veteran myself(Army), and I'm a juice head as well. That's why I said give it time to train normally. The juice and those drugs don't mix at all. You need to get yourself together mentally before you mess with aas. I always used the gym as my escape from stress. I suggest you do the same and start working on ways to ween yourself off of those drugs. I feel that those drugs only make your problems worse. You need to find a way to resolve the issues your having. Talk to your family and loved ones so they can support you through this. they cant help you if they dont know whats going on. Trust me, steroids and performance enhancers are the last thing you want right now. They can make the problems you have worse and cause you to make irrational decisions. I don't want to turn the news on and here about a fellow veteran going on a shooting rampage or killing themselves. Be smart bro and take care of yourself.

 

[Fishak]

I do understand where your coming from bro as I'm a veteran myself(Army), and I'm a juice head as well. That's why I said give it time to train normally. The juice and those drugs don't mix at all. You need to get yourself together mentally before you mess with aas. I always used the gym as my escape from stress. I suggest you do the same and start working on ways to ween yourself off of those drugs. I feel that those drugs only make your problems worse. You need to find a way to resolve the issues your having. Talk to your family and loved ones so they can support you through this. they cant help you if they dont know whats going on. Trust me, steroids and performance enhancers are the last thing you want right now. They can make the problems you have worse and cause you to make irrational decisions. I don't want to turn the news on and here about a fellow veteran going on a shooting rampage or killing themselves. Be smart bro and take care of yourself.

I agree^^

While we were in country (05-07) half of my plt was juicing and when we came back the docs cram drugs down your throat. I have had 2 friends commit scuicide and many others are not adapting to the civillian world very well. Juice, war and pills is the correlation between them. Please, take it slow with all this stuff. Dont cycle till your off all the pills bro. dont worry about going to the gym and taking it slow. If anyone gawks or says a fuckin word to you just smile and move on. Kill it!

 

[Wardo]

I concur with them as well. It was hard to get back into it. I had to force myself to go lift and to make it fun. It was slow at first but keep after it and keep positive attitude. Talk to those that have been through it too. Keep your head up Marine!

 

[Windkun]

Hell, I really want to express my gratitude for the time and concern each of you have shown posting in the thread. Appreciated more than most people would know