If your parent became disable would you put them in a nursing home or take them in.

[big4life]

I've been my mom's primary care giver since my father passed away eight years ago. She has lived with me for almost five of those eight years. She's not handicapped, but she doesn't drive, her eyesight is getting real bad, and her general health has gotten worse over the years.

Does it get old? yes. There are times that I've wished that I could do things, go places that I can't because of my responsibilities to her. It would help if you have relatives that are willing to help you out, or else they will be a very heavy burden to you. All my family lives within a 20 mile radius of me, but there is not a lot of help there. I have to take her to the doctor, get her medicine, and just take her places she want's to go without anyone offering to help. It get's old and it causes problems for me with my family at times, but I still don't think that I would do it any differently if I had to do it again.

There may come a time where her health may require 24 hour attention, and then there will be no choice but to put her in a home, but thankfully that time has not come.

 

[Robert Jan]

I've been my mom's primary care giver since my father passed away eight years ago. She has lived with me for almost five of those eight years. She's not handicapped, but she doesn't drive, her eyesight is getting real bad, and her general health has gotten worse over the years.

Does it get old? yes. There are times that I've wished that I could do things, go places that I can't because of my responsibilities to her. It would help if you have relatives that are willing to help you out, or else they will be a very heavy burden to you. All my family lives within a 20 mile radius of me, but there is not a lot of help there. I have to take her to the doctor, get her medicine, and just take her places she want's to go without anyone offering to help. It get's old and it causes problems for me with my family at times, but I still don't think that I would do it any differently if I had to do it again.

There may come a time where her health may require 24 hour attention, and then there will be no choice but to put her in a home, but thankfully that time has not come.

admirable

 

[velvett]

I could not have either living with me.

I'd see to that they received the care that they need ad try to make sure that they were not neglected or taken advantage to the best of my ability.

 

[Robert Jan]

into a home. i have been instructed to do so by my mom, as my grandmothers last 20 years of life have been devoted to taking care of my 109 yr old great grandmother. she doesnt want that for me.

I saw a long interview/report on two rural Belgian brothers who had spent their entire youths caring for their parents and working the farm to make them a living, and soon after they died, the older brother got very ill, and the other cared for him and worked his ass off for years. Neither had ever had a serious relationship in their life. They said some girls when they were young had asked them to come away with them, but they had told them all they had to care for their family.

The older brother had died and the younger brother went into a nursing home. He said he had the best time of his life there, finally not having to work so hard anymore. Never seen somebody be so happy with so little

He said he'd do it all again.

 

[Dakotah]

if it was my father i would move him in with me and if my mother i wouldnt do anything just let her figure out her own way thats what she did to me so she would have to rely on someone else to help her.

 

[Mr. Black]

If they became mentally ill with agressive/violent intentions and I was unable to control or assist them, I would have no choice to have them committed. Of course this is the worse case scenario, but it can happen....

 

[biteme]

Either this is a board of heroes or hypocrites. In reality, very few take them in.

I think some of you may not realise what you are talking about

*You do NOT have time for this. If you MAKE time, you may lose your job and not be able to do this anyway

*They might be in a mental state where they are in no position for gratitude. In fact it's quite likely they take everything out on you and complain about everything you do.

*Nursing homes are nursing homes for a reason. There are nurses, and at least one doctor. They all went to school for this. You did not.

*Ever change your own fathers nappy? While he complains you are a bastard as he is losing his mind?

*What's this mean for vacations? What's this mean for having any kind of an own life whatsoever?

If you are still convinced you'd do it, hats off to you. but its not so simple as ah sure you can move in with me. If you are an only child especially, this is your new dayjob here.

Not all nursing homes are as scary and crappy as they're made out to be. If you take a high end one, and simply DO ACTUALLY COME VISIT VERY OFTEN, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, it may even be the better option for your parent too.

Very good post and you are absoulutely right.

 

[biteme]

into a home. i have been instructed to do so by my mom, as my grandmothers last 20 years of life have been devoted to taking care of my 109 yr old great grandmother. she doesnt want that for me.

I have instructed my daughter to do the same if it ever happens to me. She says she won't do it, but I won't allow her to, don't want to be a burden. I want her to live her life, I've lived mine.

 

[p0ink]

thank god i have another sibling.

i couldnt handle it.

 

[jerkbox]

I could not have either living with me.

I'd see to that they received the care that they need ad try to make sure that they were not neglected or taken advantage to the best of my ability.

ditto