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Victorian guy
New member
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Today, at the gym, some unrefined peons dared to tell me to 'wipe my sweat' off of the bench.
I was training with my chauffeur, and personal security assistant, Nobby, when we both headed over to the water fountain to refill our 2 litre plastic water bottles.
On returning, there was an angry looking pair of rather stout women, with hair cropped short and looking very masculine. A couple, no doubt.
"Would you MIND wiping your disgusting sweat off this bench?" one of them snapped. I tried to be a gentleman, and responded "My dear Ladies, we are not quite finished with this piece of equipment. And when we are, we shall wipe off every offending drop of sweat and summon you promptly". Could I have been more urbane? I think not.
"We are WOMEN, not ladies...don't try to intimidate us with your disgusting, male ego-driven physique...you left this bench, and I don't see a reserved sign on it!"
Nobby began trembling with rage. Wary of his anger, which had driven him to kill, with his bare hands, (well he was implicated but nothing was proven) no fewer than 10 fellow inmates over the 10 years he spent incarcerated, I decided to diffuse the situation.
We were both simply dripping with sweat and our towels were soaked...seeing this, one of the fat women threw her dry towel at me. "Use this, Mr.!" she sneered.
"Very well," I said dryly, and wiped the sweat off the dripping bench. Then, I put the towel down the front of my sweaty track pants, wiped the sweat off of my privates, and pulled the wet towel out. "Oh...I do believe I missed the sweat between my arsecheeks" I said, and proceeded to wipe the sweat from that foul region. Then, I took the damp, stinking, skid-marked towel and rubbed it in the shocked face of one of the fatties. She reeled back from the stench, and, while she ran off screaming, I did the same thing to the other behemoth. Then Nobby I left the scene, laughing heartily.
Some people- tsk tsk!
Today, at the gym, some unrefined peons dared to tell me to 'wipe my sweat' off of the bench.
I was training with my chauffeur, and personal security assistant, Nobby, when we both headed over to the water fountain to refill our 2 litre plastic water bottles.
On returning, there was an angry looking pair of rather stout women, with hair cropped short and looking very masculine. A couple, no doubt.
"Would you MIND wiping your disgusting sweat off this bench?" one of them snapped. I tried to be a gentleman, and responded "My dear Ladies, we are not quite finished with this piece of equipment. And when we are, we shall wipe off every offending drop of sweat and summon you promptly". Could I have been more urbane? I think not.
"We are WOMEN, not ladies...don't try to intimidate us with your disgusting, male ego-driven physique...you left this bench, and I don't see a reserved sign on it!"
Nobby began trembling with rage. Wary of his anger, which had driven him to kill, with his bare hands, (well he was implicated but nothing was proven) no fewer than 10 fellow inmates over the 10 years he spent incarcerated, I decided to diffuse the situation.
We were both simply dripping with sweat and our towels were soaked...seeing this, one of the fat women threw her dry towel at me. "Use this, Mr.!" she sneered.
"Very well," I said dryly, and wiped the sweat off the dripping bench. Then, I put the towel down the front of my sweaty track pants, wiped the sweat off of my privates, and pulled the wet towel out. "Oh...I do believe I missed the sweat between my arsecheeks" I said, and proceeded to wipe the sweat from that foul region. Then, I took the damp, stinking, skid-marked towel and rubbed it in the shocked face of one of the fatties. She reeled back from the stench, and, while she ran off screaming, I did the same thing to the other behemoth. Then Nobby I left the scene, laughing heartily.
Some people- tsk tsk!
