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Victorian guy
New member
Gentlemen,
Am I cruel? No. I think not!
The other day, I was training at the gym, with my chauffeur and security assistant, Nobby, and my dear friend Bagstaff.
I was doing a set of 600-pound squats, when suddenly Bagstaff roared with laughter "Look! It's a bunch of bloody midgets!".
Indeed, there were 20 or 30 midgets at the gym, on some sort of outing for the 'physically disadvantaged'. There they were, training away. 45 minutes later, as we were on our final set of squats, one of them came up to us, and in a squeaky voice asked "You gonna be finished, soon, mates?" to which I replied "In our own fucking time, Tom Thumb!". He complained bitterly to the other midgets. Three of them approached us, likely to complain about the 'Tom Thumb' comment, when Nobby seized a medicine ball that had been lying around and, using it like a bowling ball, bowled it at them and knocked the three wee fellows down! We roared with laughter!
Later, as we left the gym, and headed through the parking lot, we suddenly came face to face with an angry mob of some 20 or 30 midgets. "Right. Let's see you make fun of us now, bastards!" one of them screamed. I suggested we settle the whole thing- "How about a came of curb-side handball" I said, laughing heartily.
The midgets attacked. I put my British Army drill-boots (which I wear when training) to good use, and Nobby used his chain to beat down the little bastards. But poor Bagstaff was surrounded, and the little devils bit into his shins, and one of them bit his crotch, toppling him! A crowd of 20 midgets swarmed around him, and kicked the living shit out of him before we managed to kick and beat them off of him. Leaving the parking lot scattered with beat-up midgets, we got into the Rolls Royce and left- running over several of the evil little fiends on the way out!
What is wrong with folk these days? Can't take a little jesting?
Am I cruel? No. I think not!
The other day, I was training at the gym, with my chauffeur and security assistant, Nobby, and my dear friend Bagstaff.
I was doing a set of 600-pound squats, when suddenly Bagstaff roared with laughter "Look! It's a bunch of bloody midgets!".
Indeed, there were 20 or 30 midgets at the gym, on some sort of outing for the 'physically disadvantaged'. There they were, training away. 45 minutes later, as we were on our final set of squats, one of them came up to us, and in a squeaky voice asked "You gonna be finished, soon, mates?" to which I replied "In our own fucking time, Tom Thumb!". He complained bitterly to the other midgets. Three of them approached us, likely to complain about the 'Tom Thumb' comment, when Nobby seized a medicine ball that had been lying around and, using it like a bowling ball, bowled it at them and knocked the three wee fellows down! We roared with laughter!
Later, as we left the gym, and headed through the parking lot, we suddenly came face to face with an angry mob of some 20 or 30 midgets. "Right. Let's see you make fun of us now, bastards!" one of them screamed. I suggested we settle the whole thing- "How about a came of curb-side handball" I said, laughing heartily.
The midgets attacked. I put my British Army drill-boots (which I wear when training) to good use, and Nobby used his chain to beat down the little bastards. But poor Bagstaff was surrounded, and the little devils bit into his shins, and one of them bit his crotch, toppling him! A crowd of 20 midgets swarmed around him, and kicked the living shit out of him before we managed to kick and beat them off of him. Leaving the parking lot scattered with beat-up midgets, we got into the Rolls Royce and left- running over several of the evil little fiends on the way out!
What is wrong with folk these days? Can't take a little jesting?
