I want your thoughts on this

[SoKlueles]

see i didnt really care about posting a pic here i am not going to see these people...they are not that mean here...i seen a pic recently that was horrible and no one critisized about it.....any how yes i feel the same way...but what really matters is what is on the inside......and girls often forget this.and they care more about there looks and such

its not just girls that forget about it
Do you remember the movie Shallow Hal?
if everyone was like him, the world would be a less catty place.

 

[SoKlueles]

I think if a person loses weight their self esteem may rise a little, but deep down they still think of themselves as worthless. I was always shy & had low self esteem, not sure why. Around 20 Y.O. I started to change. It is a long process for me. Reading self help books helped. I think a lot of people have low self esteem, whether it is apparent or not. I have always been fat. I'm solid & strong though, so I don't see myself as fat. Whenever I look in the mirror & see myself it's like, "Fuck, what happened to you?"
What people need to realize is:
A. You weren't born perfect. Life takes practice.
B. Everyone else is just as as fucked up as you think you are. Most more so.
C. Those that don't fit into B. are either very blessed, or have worked to overcome.

Very good post
I was at the point of trying to get gastric by pass surgery but they wouldnt touch me because I had crohns disease.....but before that they wanted me to see a psychologist to see if i would adapt to losing weight and the things that were to come after that. I think now, i see why.

 

[Cutiebaby]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

 

[nycgirl]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

Again, you are wrong. I was told I was good looking on the streets when I was heavier and I'm told that now. I didn't post my pics for reassurance. I posted my progress pics to show the girls how I was doing and to be critiqued.

 

[SoKlueles]

Again, you are wrong. I was told I was good looking on the streets when I was heavier and I'm told that now. I didn't post my pics for reassurance. I posted my progress pics to show the girls how I was doing and to be critiqued.

No im not wrong, its my opinion. This is a debate of sorts and everyone has their right to their opinion. and that is mine, just as your opinion is yours.

 

[gonelifting]

Soklu, you are awesome. No matter what you look like.

OK now... Being confident is in your mind. You see overweight people everywhere and some of them are the most confident people you'll find. Why is that? They don't have perfect bodies. That says they don't need perfect bodies to be confident. They know what they're capable of in their mind. They know what they have...

There are many different aspects to self confidence. Not only physical but stuff like the relationship you may be in, your family and how they treat you, how well you're doing at work and if you're financially stable, how smart you are... etc... All these thing together can make up a person's confidence IN ADDITION TO how fat one is. If you have all the rest, but are overweight, you might be better off than other "fat" women who don't have it. Confidence is a lifestyle. Look at a confident person and you're not only looking at a "nice" body, but a LIFE that is filled with good or "happy" or whatever stuff. Surround yourself with the above things AND get into better shape and you'll never go back to being unconfident.

 

[nycgirl]

No im not wrong, its my opinion. This is a debate of sorts and everyone has their right to their opinion. and that is mine, just as your opinion is yours.

I agree that you have a right to your opinion.

I've seen girls with low self-esteem (including me at one time) that did not giggle and walk through crowds and went home and cried alone. So, the giggle and blush argument doesn't make sense to me.

 

[jenscats5]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

See, I don't think a person's self-esteem will necessarily increase when they lose weight/bf. And someone whose self-esteem is low before & after weight loss may place more into those comments from strangers as they may need more affirmation to see themselves in a new light....the new, thinner them.

Now, those women who are already hot, etc may still seek affirmation from others to try to offset their insecurity or reinforce their narcisscism.

I think it's totally dependant on the person....

 

[SoKlueles]

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

Good post lol and true IMO

 

[big4life]

While the outside shell and how people treat you affects your self esteem in a way, the bigger influence is what is going on inside you. What do you see when you look in the mirror? or how do you feel about yourself?