I want a baby!!!!

[txbondsman]

<< slowly peeks out from behind the door
ahem... I was hoping that yall wouldn't mind me speeking on this subject in this forum. I was raised by my 3 older sisters, Mom and G-mom, kinda intouch with the female stuff. ( Even though I'm a big rough, tough, redneck he-man now, just ask anybody)
As a man, I can say that what Cindy posted, he simply scared. He's scared that his world as he knows it will change. The time he spends doing whatever it is he does, he feels will suddenly evaporate. He knows that the responsibility trumps everything else he likes to do, and if he doesn't do the right thing, his buddies, family will know, and he isn't ready to take on that kind of responsibility. Kind of a fear of failure I guess.(which is a damn good thing to know PRIOR to have a little one on the way) If I'm right, good for him. He should learn how to express that to you, that's IF I'm right.
What he said about your body, the potential problems, all that, pure BS. Just a smoke screen to hide what his real fears are, nothing more.
As far as only wanting a boy, sorry girls, but I fell into that catagory too. Right or wrong, it came from only wanting one child myself, and the bloodline thing, as well as the familiarities of boys, i.e. sports, fishing. I realize that if I had been blessed with a little girl, I wouldn't have minded, all the things that I just wrote would still be mine to have, save the name deal as women usually do change their names. Money never was an issue, not because I had alot, it was never clear just how expensive the little suckers are! Sheesh, I just never knew.
One of the only things that I ever did right as a young man, was be smart enough to know that I wasn't ready for a child/ marriage. I didn't have a child till I was 36, married at 47. Mostly because I was selfish, and immature, both. But both of those feelings kept the paternal feeling from emerging.
Cindy, I don't know your husband, but if any of this sounds familiar, good, maybe it may bring some understanding of his thought processes to you.
Thanks for letting me share, sorry if I offended anyone for chiming in, prolly never happen again, can't say I've ever visited "Girl Talk" before. I was lookin for the huntin' and fishin' section where people kill stuff and took a wrong turn.
Yall ladies take care,
Tx

 

[vixensghost]

Tx is welcome any ole time.


I'd not change the fact we had our lil girl later in life, Cindy. You have plenty of time left to have a child!

I think the ladies, and gent, summed it all up!

Hey, even if you do not have kids, you have a wonderful husband. I know a lot of women who would love to be able to say this about someone special!

 

[Daisy_Girl]

As a man, I can say that what Cindy posted, he simply scared. He's scared that his world as he knows it will change. The time he spends doing whatever it is he does, he feels will suddenly evaporate. He knows that the responsibility trumps everything else he likes to do, and if he doesn't do the right thing, his buddies, family will know, and he isn't ready to take on that kind of responsibility. Kind of a fear of failure I guess.(which is a damn good thing to know PRIOR to have a little one on the way) If I'm right, good for him. He should learn how to express that to you, that's IF I'm right.
What he said about your body, the potential problems, all that, pure BS. Just a smoke screen to hide what his real fears are, nothing more.
Tx

That is basically what I said before .... but you said it better than I.

 

[stilleto]

i agree with what the other women have posted here, but i wanted to add something.

don't worry about how MANY kids you each want to have... that may change drastically once you actually have one.

and don't worry about him not wanting a girl... once he sees his baby, boy or girl, he will be in love, providing he's ready.

but also be warned that if he's NOT ready, you could have some problems of course. one of which, the hugest one, is resentment. because it means that you will most likely be the one that does all the work and gets none of the sleep and takes the blame for all the changes in your lives.

in the end, nomatter what happens, you'll still have your child, and anything that happens because of that is secondary.

but i still hope for you that it works out the way you want it to.

 

[Gymgurl]

I think at one point you will both be ready......just wait a little longer...

 

[cindylou]

Thanks guys for all the comments!

He is one of the best people you'd ever meet, he's not a dick at all. I have a feeling he is just scared, slightly immature, and still wants to party a little longer.

Which is ok with me....for now. Sooner or later he needs to grow up! haha

 

[jenscats5]

Just a comment from the other side of things........during my 1st marriage I told my husband up front "No kids - EVER." He said ok but thought he could change my mind (after all women are supposed to want kids right?) Well I never changed my mind & during our divorce, he mentioned me not wanting kids as a reason for the divorce. So, talk to him about it & give it some more time, but he's really & truly adamant about 1 kid or no kids, don't sneak a baby on him or expect to change his mind. Sounds to me tho, it's like the others said - he's just scared.

And yes, I've had feelings about being afraid of having a deformed kid - I personally couldn't deal with that as a parent. You have to be a special person to handle that.

 

[cindylou]

I dont think its possible to sneak a baby on him. He is in total control..... Its not like I'd get him drunk or anything...we really have to be on the same page.

And thanks guys for being honest about your feelings on if you'd be afraid to have a deformed or retarded baby or guys...if you are/were reluctant to have a girl or boy. I do think that these are fears, or real feelings that other people out there have...I think all parents worry and hope and wish for a healthy baby. anyone who didnt worry about that is not facing reality.

We are actually one of the couples who would plan and want the child before having it. I'm currently putting back money each week and yes, I know he has some reservations and fears about having the baby but I'd never force him to have a baby, but I still think it sucks that he is not ready... but I still get shit about it, like we would be some kind of unfit parents or something or how our relationship must be shitty because we have not met on this subject yet.

And him saying that he is afraid of me wrecking my body (LOL) I know because he loves me that he is saying that because he is trying to deter ME from being in a hurry. He knows that I care more about the way that I look than he does.

I know deep down that he will be ready one day. I would have never married a man who would not give me at least one child or at least TRY maybe we cant have kids..and if that is the case, that would be fine at least he tried. He knows that. Instead of worrying about how he will resent me one day, I think he needs to worry about how I will soon start to resent him if he does not come around within the next five years.

And I dont see how a man can resent a child unless you somehow had the child under false pretenses. (by deceit buy missing a pill etc). It takes two people to fuck but I guess its our fault since we carry the baby and they resent US? What the fuck is that all about? Thats bullshit. If you are married and having sex and a child happens....how could anyone who has half a heart resent his wife? That kind of man is one who lacks character and cant take responsibility for his own life sounds to me.

That is not the guy I married.