I really need help : (

[flexygrl]

I've been a member of this site for a very long time. When I was married my ex and I use to work out religiously. I hated it at the time. Towards the end or our relationship I finally got "it". I had the bug. I was in the gym more than him and my diet was TIGHT! Because of some seriously bad shit I had to leave him. I am now officially divorced, and on my own for almost 2 years and guess what else?!? I met a really great guy. My new guy doesn't work out and loves me the way I am....

Here's the problem. I'm miserable. When my relationship with my ex was in shatters I ate and gained A LOT of weight. I was over 180 pounds. I never got on a scale....I was too afraid. I lost a lot of it on my own but it's creeping back on. I have to be around 167 and my BF...god I don't even want to know!!!!

I'm ready to get back on track. I'm disgusted with myself. I hate myself for letting this happen.

The problem is I miss the support I had when I worked out with my ex. My new boyfriend doesn't want to go to the gym. He says it's not his thing. I can't force him....

I've always felt uncomfortable at the gym....like everyone is looking at me....it's weird I know.

I can't afford a personal trainer so that's not an option and I can't buy a home gym because I have a very small apartment...

Any ideas for me?!?

 

[Sassy69]

Congrats on jettisoning the old ex and focusing on the new guy. I have to admit it woudl drive me nuts to be in a relationship w/ someone who doesn't go to the gym, but I'm single right now and I make the gym my "own" time and also my sanity checkn in a new city and at my new job.

Diet-wise - I'm gonna do the usual, and suggest the Shadow project. There's also a workout schedule in there that should be easy to follow. If you already have a gym membership, chances are you have access to a trainer who you could hire for maybe 3-4 sessions (dont' need to go into debt for it) - just enough to make you comfortable w/ all the exercises & the equipment - and that's only if you need it. If you've already trained w/ the ex, then you may be familiar w/ it all.

As far as getting comfortable in the gym, to a certain degree its up to you to just stay focused on YOUR goals and how good YOU feel in teh gym. And you ARE payign for that membership so you have the right to be comfortable in the gym. Chances are people aren't staring at you, and if they are, just ignore them. Eventually you will find both your own comfort zone in the gym and also that strain of dealing w/ other people goes away as well. I find when I'm in the gym for a while, people who tend to come at the same time I do are friendly and I can talk to them & they can talk to me.

But the point is to stay focused on YOUR goals and not let silly stuff like your perception of people around you get in your way.

 

[nikkita]

I'm glad that you are ready to get back on track.. after those difficult times you had gone through.
In my opinion, working out is a form of pampering yourself because you take care of your body, mind and leaves you with a feeling of well being.
Even though it is fun to have a training buddy, it is not always possible... therefore you must determine what is that you want to achieve in terms of your workout (this will help you set your objectives), then evaluate the options available in terms of what you like to do in order to achieve your objectives, so that you can have a balance between your objetives and what you like to do.

 

[flexygrl]

Congrats on jettisoning the old ex and focusing on the new guy. I have to admit it woudl drive me nuts to be in a relationship w/ someone who doesn't go to the gym, but I'm single right now and I make the gym my "own" time and also my sanity checkn in a new city and at my new job.

Sassy,

We actually broke up for a week because of this...then I realized something...part of the reason why this guy is so awesome is because he doesn't have some of the traits my ex did. My ex was a gym rat...he was so focused on his body and needed constant validation about his attraction...

The new guy is very confident in who he is. He's not into the gym but would rather be active in other ways such as bike riding or kayaking.

He said that he would try the gym with me down the road...so we shall see.

Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.

Nikita,

Thank you as well. I'm just going to go there with blinders on and try to stay very focused. I do know what to do in the gym once I'm there...the hardest part is actually getting there. : )

 

[velvett]

HI!

Find a gym you might be comfortable in and visit it in the AM and in the PM when you would likely be there and check out the crowd, then decide which you could handle.

Wear a ball cap when you work out - it can be protective if you pull it down and it just says leave me alone.

Start out slow, just doing some cardio, (remind yourself - it's just 20 minutes I have to be in here) getting used to the crowd and keep your eyes peeled for someone you could see training with and have an alliance. It will get easier as time goes by and I say that as someone that hates public gyms too. Remember when you were a kid how easy it was to become friends with someone? I don't know why but as adults we lose this ability to be open to new people.

In the meantime, get some pilates tape (I like the Winsor tapes) and do them at home.

 

[Gymgurl]

Hey girl nice to see your back! Try a gym that offeres different types of fitness calsses....like spin, treading...ect...that way you meet some people and have some motivation...once you get back you 'll be hooked

 

[nikkita]

Nikita,

Thank you as well. I'm just going to go there with blinders on and try to stay very focused. I do know what to do in the gym once I'm there...the hardest part is actually getting there. : )

The good thing is that the first step, which is getting the idea of returning to the gym, has already been taken.

Exercise makes you EXTREMELY attractive. Physically AND emotionally... and that's really just the tip of the iceberg!

 

[slat1]

Get your diet strait first. The worry about the gym.
Be strong. You can do it on your own. You know what though... go bike riding and kayaking you will love it.
Best of Luck!!!

 

[flexygrl]

Get your diet strait first. The worry about the gym.
Be strong. You can do it on your own. You know what though... go bike riding and kayaking you will love it.
Best of Luck!!!

Thanks! I trully appreciate it. I plan to start a diet and excercise log on labor day. I'm going to visit a friend in PA and will not have access to a computer all weekend. My BF and I are going on a cruise, OCT 8, so I have a tiny little goal to focus on.

In terms of kayaking and bike riding...we do go bike riding every now and then. I'm just learning how to ride on dirt trails and it's a bit scary. : ) We also did an 8 mile canoe trip about 2 months ago! That was really fun!!!!