I need to vent and I need advice!

[lunachick]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and things have been great!! He treats me great and he is my best friend.

A few months ago, he told me that he wanted to start bodybuilding and getting big- that was OK.(considering the fact that I am not at all attracted to huge muscle men, I love him so I will deal with it). Then he started doing more research and now he wants to compete. In order to compete he wants to get bigger. In order to get bigger he wants to do steroids. He has been OBSESSED with the body builders Jay Cutler and Ronnie Coleman. (and if you dont know.. they are HUGE!!) I mean, he rents their videos and watches them. I know he looks up to them as role models but its getting to the point where its annoying and it ALL HE TALKS ABOUT. I dont think this is even normal???

He is keeping me in the loop on everything. He is doing all the research (he has an account here!!) He knows the type of steroids, the amount, how its done, etc, but I am soooo scared its going to change him into something different. I dont know anymore. I am scared its going to affect our relaitonship in a negative way. Can anyone here relate to this?? I just want to hear personal experiences. Opinions are welcome. He just started his first cycle last night. urghhh!

Thanks girls!!!

 

[ironwings]

Just wanted you to know I hear you. I can't comment right now (in the middle of work) but I have lots to say! I'll post up tonight.

 

[ironwings]

Shew - have a quick sec to respond. I'm glad to hear he is doing his research and particularly that he is part of EF. The gentlemen on the AAS board are extremely helpful, assuming he is 21. Competition can be a great thing, all be it very time consuming. I think it is fantastic that he has found something he really enjoys. It sounds though that he is pulling on your last nerve with all the talk. Tell him lovingly that you are supportive of his interest in bodybuilding but that you would like to have normal conversations again. The more he can get involved in EF as an outlet to discuss topics with those of similar interest the better it is for you. He can use this as his touch point for bodybuilding and not bore you to tears with it. Just be willing to listen when he wants to talk - he wants to keep you informed. In time this will all dissapate - it will just become part of his lifestyle.

On to your real questions: If he is being smart about it and not over zumptuous steroids won't change his personality. He may become more involved with himself and spend more time at the gym but that goes with any hobby. With that being said - he will be taking very good care of himself which will probably spill over into the relationship is a healthy way. Encourage him to be smart and involved in his body.The best thing you can do is be his supporter - which not only means cheering him on but also talking to him openly when you see changes to his personality or your relationship. You might even like some of the positive changes ;-)

If I may, I also have to add - don't hold on to him too tight. Hold the ones you love the most like a butterfly. Sometimes they do fly away.

I wish you guys the best!

 

[lunachick]

That was great, Ironwings. I have been supporting him, and he knows I am always there for him. I have even been working out with him!! Its just the steroid thing kind of discouraged me. I even saw the documentary "bigger, Stronger, Faster" movie and thought steroids arnt THAT bad.... He told me that if anything, this is going to make us stronger.. so we shall see what happens. I really hope ur right about his obssesion fading within time.. cuz this is getting wild. thank you so much for your message!!!!

 

[lunnah]

When we love someone, all we can do is support them. (assuming he is safe).
My husband is a MMA fighter and i get worried because he can get hurt, he broke his jaw once. But he trains hard and he is really goo at it, it is his dream.
Who am I do not let him achieve it? I want to be part of it and help him get there, all we can do is support them.
I wish you guys all the best!!!

 

[lunachick]

awww thank you! so far so good, no complaints here, everything is going great!

That must be REALLY hard for you to see your man get beaten and bruised. I LOVE watching he UFC and Pride Fighting, and I think the best fights are the most grusome lol. but, if it was someone close to me that would be hard for me to watch and enjoy. Thanks for your kind words and I wish you the best as well!!!

 

[lunnah]

My heart beats so fast whenis going to fight, but it is his dream and I am very proud of him. He only got hurt this one time, at least some consolation.
He fought at the WEC before and he is a professional fighter. But i can just love and support him, right?
Glad to hear that you guys are doing good. !!!

 

[Tatyana]

I have dated several men who have done steroids, I have had seen both the responsible and irresponsible use of steroids and the consequences.

Irresponsible use:

- taking massive doses of steroids thinking that this is what will make you HUGE. Steroids are called performance enhancing drugs for a reason, they enhance your genetics, training and diet.

My ex did this, he also didn't use any PCT and ended up with testosterone levels of a girl.

This was his, erm, 4th or 5th cycle at the age of 23.

He was depressed and fat for quite some time till his levels returned to the bottom end of normal, then he did another cycle using better drugs and support for his HPTA (hypothalmic-pituitary-testicular axis).

He also would go out and drink and do X when on cycle, which is a NO NO.

I do think that if young men use steroids at too young an age and in an irresponsible manner, they can end up damaging their endocrine system, which means they may end up on HRT for the rest of their lives.

Responsible use:

My current BF trained like a maniac for ten years and built up a really decent physique before he did his first cycle.

He keeps his cycles to a maximum of 12 weeks and always has PCT ready.

His diet is almost too strict most of the time (honestly he puts me to shame for his discipline with diet and how hard he trains).

He has realistic expectations of what is possible with steroid use and he spend several years researching steroids.

The only issue for him is the side effect of some acne, and when coming off a cycle, some lethargy.

I have no problem with men doing steroids, in fact, I have done the injections for my BFs or training buddies.

I do have a problem with steroids when men ruin their libido, or take certain steroids that don't fit with their physiology/personality and they get moody (cause they do with some steroids).