I Know its wrong, But is this gonna kill me?

[NoLove]

Hi Guys!

First of all i like to start to tell you that i know this is wrong and not a good idea, but i will also give you a short background story so maybe you understand me. I am 35+ and all my Life i have been struggling with depressions and underweight. Many times i have thoughts about suicide but i guess i have been to scared of take the step. For about 2 years ago i was Close to do it but a friend told me to give Life a chanse and dragged me to the gym and also gave me some Testo-E and told me to take 250mg e5d for 12 weeks. I had never been so happy in my Life, my Life totaly changed! I got good results and new body!

but 8 months after the cycle my dad died and i hit rock bottom again and been there to like 6 months ago when i start lifting again.

Right now i have been training and eating reel good the last 4 months
My lenghth is: 178 cm and weight 63 kg


I have starting a Testo-E cycle of Galenika and inject:
monday 250mg Thursday: 250 mg = 500 mg/week.

This is my last chanse to start feeling good and get better BOOST in the gym, i will eat good and train hard! I have good knoledge of AAS and PCT and like i said in the beginning i know this is not a good start of using AAS.

If i do extremley good in training & eating is this a good cycle for me, or should i keep going at 250mg E5d?

After this cycle i will not continue, i am over 35+ and just want a boost in the start.
I choose about this or ending my Life, so the choice is easy.
After this cycle if its going good, i will not take more, i will continue to eat and train.

So should i do this 500/week?
or just 250 mg e5d / 375/week?

I know about the sides, and the first cycle i took 2 years ago i got no sides.
I want bigger change because its now or never and Testo-E make me feel so good!

Thanks for your time!
sorry for my bad English Spelling

 

[christdupont]

No you wont die but with what you are saying this wont be your last cycle lol , stick to 500mg , it wont give much more sides than 375

 

[reaper517]

I say if the cycles make you feel good and not think about suicide you may have found your own cure---beware though, when you cycle off it may exacerbate your depression and suicidal thoughts and take you over the edge---either stay on and be happy or watch for the overload---BESIDES YOU'VE FOUND SOMETHING THAT HELPS/WORKS FOR YOU, SO WHY KNOCK IT---take these in mioderation---

 

[bigorse]

honestly if cycling keeps you from commiting suicide then have a look into blasting and cruising.

 

[NoLove]

Thanks guys!

 

[Zinergy]

Also find a endo that's willing to help you with this.

TRT may be a good option.

 

[charger69mx]

I would also take arimedex .25 eod and HCG 250 iu 2x week. Trust me, there are sides, they are internal and you cannot see them. Gyno is not the only sides of AAS.
Have PCT of nolva and clomid and start 2 weeks after you stop AAS.

 

[johnnyboy3689282]

Sounds like u need to learn about pct and hormone manipulation in off season.... Research until u can't anymore bro

 

[jjfatz42]

I second Bigorse. A trt dose of around 200mg/week may very well be enough to keep the depression away. Then, blast when u want.

Go to a good Dr. It's easy to get a script from lifetime extension Dr's here in the states. Idk where u are, but I'm sure there are options.

Like someone else already said, it could exacerbate the depression issue when u cycle off.

Good luck, & take care man.

 

[j_p]

Hi Guys!

First of all i like to start to tell you that i know this is wrong and not a good idea, but i will also give you a short background story so maybe you understand me. I am 35+ and all my Life i have been struggling with depressions and underweight. Many times i have thoughts about suicide but i guess i have been to scared of take the step. For about 2 years ago i was Close to do it but a friend told me to give Life a chanse and dragged me to the gym and also gave me some Testo-E and told me to take 250mg e5d for 12 weeks. I had never been so happy in my Life, my Life totaly changed! I got good results and new body!

but 8 months after the cycle my dad died and i hit rock bottom again and been there to like 6 months ago when i start lifting again.

Right now i have been training and eating reel good the last 4 months
My lenghth is: 178 cm and weight 63 kg


I have starting a Testo-E cycle of Galenika and inject:
monday 250mg Thursday: 250 mg = 500 mg/week.

This is my last chanse to start feeling good and get better BOOST in the gym, i will eat good and train hard! I have good knoledge of AAS and PCT and like i said in the beginning i know this is not a good start of using AAS.

If i do extremley good in training & eating is this a good cycle for me, or should i keep going at 250mg E5d?

After this cycle i will not continue, i am over 35+ and just want a boost in the start.
I choose about this or ending my Life, so the choice is easy.
After this cycle if its going good, i will not take more, i will continue to eat and train.

So should i do this 500/week?
or just 250 mg e5d / 375/week?

I know about the sides, and the first cycle i took 2 years ago i got no sides.
I want bigger change because its now or never and Testo-E make me feel so good!

Thanks for your time!
sorry for my bad English Spelling

I hope you know there is a good chance that you have lot test levels and that could play a major role in your mood/depression and waight in past. you may need to be on hrt and I highly rec you get full blod work and ask them to check your estrogen (e2) and test levels (free and total)
* and avoid mentioning off script use of steroids,* just tell them you have been researching and talking to people and would like to explore this avenue to see your hormone levels.

good luck

*dont forget AI on cycle and a good pct*