^^^ this isn't a rec drug help forum. this is an AAS forum. i couldn't give a rats ass if you know bodybuilders do rec drugs. we don't talk about it on here its the rule.
if you want to talk about it then go find a site for that. the AAS forum on EF is to discuss AAS, not rec drugs.
also one of our rules of the site is "if you are on every drug under the sun we aren't gonna help you fuck yourself up more" .. I'm not giving the guy a hard time, i am just trying to give him the right advice.. i'm not gonna tell a dude is in situation to go ahead and keep juicing so that he can further give juicers a bad name and further fuck himself up.
thats all.
and to the OP if you have asked them to give you testosterone and they turned you down then that probably means you shouldn't mess around with it, especially at 500 mg a week which isn't even a TRT dose. again not trying to put you down but that is the best advice you will get.. also taking testosterone is gonna further suppress you and could make your libido much worse, especially when you cycle off.. who the hell knows how your body will react to the extra hormones + whatever drugs they are giving you + pct drugs and ancillaries. this is why it would of been a far better idea to run natty test supplements which do not suppress.
good luck and hopefully your treatment goes well. doesn't sound like you came here for real answers though, just for re-assurance and a green light to continue doing what you want.
and before you accuse me of being a prick I lost a friend a year ago who died in his sleep from OD'ing.. he left behind a 1 year old child and that is an incredibly selfish act. and the thing is people KNEW about his problem but they did nothing to stop it.. had I known i would of done everything in my power to stop him.. so no i won't sit here and encourage you to keep doing what you are doing