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I Hate Strip Clubs!!!

Beachboy6294

New member
I HATE STRIP CLUBS


My friends and I were in Miami on vacation four years ago for the WMC and out of all the places to go my friends decided they wanted to go to a fucking strip club. I hate strip clubs what's the point of paying a bunch of women to get naked that you can't even touch. I figured I can have my girl get naked and dance for me and I can touch her .As we enter to strip club I noticed this guy in a wheel chair rolling out of the lap dance room sweating like a slave. I'm thinking to myself why the fuck is he rolling out of a lap dance room. I know this fool just didn't go get a lap dance. So me being the bold one I asked him. "Um did you just get a lap dance"? He said yes I sure did the best lap dance in the world. I said "Um what's the point you can't even feel your legs. He said that might be true but with Isis I feel something else. She isn't just a stripper she has special powers you just have to see for yourself. Well all of my boys were sold on her they all lined up to get lap dances from Isis. My buddy Swolle had went first ,he made the mistake of wearing white warm up sweat paints. And anybody that's ever been inside a strip club or any club knows they have florescent lights so you can see everything on your clothes once those lights hit you. Swolle was in the room for about an hour. I heard all of this moaning and it didn't sound like a woman moaning. It sounded like a grown ass man. I'm out side embarrassed yelling "Swolle you better man up in that room you sound like a sperm whale during mating season". When his lap dance was over Swolle walked out of the room sweating. He was walking funny sort of like a cowboy from the wild west , something was on his leg and he was trying to shake it off. I asked him so how was the lap dance? Breathing heavy he said can I borrow fifty dollars I have to go again. Of course me being who I am I said hell no you are not about to waste any more money on some stripper. My other friends were intrigued over Swolle's reaction coming out of the lap dance room. They were asking Swolle what happened man what happened in there. And Swolle said "Look at the back of my pants son". And when the florescent light hit his white sweat pants you saw a bunch of stains on the back of his pants. I said Swolle I know you didn't cum on yourself during the lap dance. And he smiled and said "She was that good son she was that good". That's all my friends needed to hear they all lined up for this lap dance queen. One went in one came out all cumming all had stains on there pants. I'm sitting at the bar shaking my head at these idiots laughing at them I can't believe some women made them cum on themselves. Then one of my boys was like Beachboy you gotta go in there and get a lap dance. I said I am not spending my hard earn money on some women so she could grind on me. Then he said I paid for your lap dance just go inside the room. I said well in that case I'll do it. When I walked inside of the lap dance room there she stood. She was an Amazon she was about 6,2 Brazilian women , she was built like a tank six pack booty so muscular she could pick a cherry up by the stem with her butt cheeks . Long black hair and blue eyes and she had a huge tattoo of a black panther on the side of her rib cage. I had never seen anything like her. Just looking at her made my dick harder then a fifty dollar jaw breaker. She sat me the chair and said you ready for this baby. Like a little kid I said no maa'm I'm scared. She said don't be scared baby I'm gonna take good care of you. She took off her bra and G string and did a front flip on to my legs and SHE WENT TO WORK. All of a sudden I started moaning like a damn sperm whale. One hour went to two hours two hours went to three before you know it. There wasn't spots on the back of my pants I was drenched. You would have thought I peed on myself. I walked out that lap dance room holding my pants in my hand thank God I wore basketball shorts. My boys saw me in my shorts and they fell out laughing. By the time we left the strip club I had spent all of my vacation money. I had know money at all. I spent $1600 dollars in three hours. I don't even know how I spent all that money I blacked out after the first lap dance. My mom had to wire me money. She tricked me damn it. Who am I kidding she was just that good. So anytime I drive past a strip club I get nauseous. I never went back to another strip club after that. Who am I fooling I am addictted now!!
 
Maybe Rocky Road has mad skillz like the Amazon... why not? Lotta charities make money.

LMFAO

Men are such simple creatures. If they weren't, strippers would be out of a job!!

Good story, Beachboy... I am howling over here.
 
which strip club was it?
Goldrush?
Tootsies?
Solid gold?

miami strip clubs are fuckin crazy. anything goes and the women are fuckin devlish.

oh..and brazilian girls can work that shit like no other. not surprising.
tall, dark hair, blue eyes....i would have been just as tricked dude LOL. thats like my ideal combo

I'm betting it was Gold Rush. that place is fuckin scam central. everyone goes there super fucked on E and coke from Club Space so the strippers assume everyone is that fucked up and try to run game
 
Strip clubs suck.

Umm, yes, please rub your boobies in my face after you just rubbed them in 67 homeboys and Mexicans faces.
 
lol at this story. I know of a few guy that claims the stripper tried to rip them off, but I just think they were so hypnotized that they just lost count. It's always good to have someone with you keeping track because it can be hard to keep track when in the moment.
 
bran987 said:
I like the part about how your mom had to wire you money :lmao:

LMAO

"mom, a stripper tricked me!"

my mom would flip out...but at the same time, she'd expect it from me. sad to say

i am the black sheep.




and damn it beachboy, reply to this thread already!! i'm really curious as to which strip club it was so i can LOL hard
 
strip joints are more enjoyable if you know the dancers
 
I'd almost beleive this nonsense if he said the girl was russian..........now dem russians is sneaky lil cossacks, that I can vouch for.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
I was thinking the same thing. LOL


I have some great stories and I love to write! Did you see the one about the midget and me hooking up or the one where I told my ex girlfriend to walk it off?
 
Beachboy6294 said:
I have some great stories and I love to write! Did you see the one about the midget and me hooking up or the one where I told my ex girlfriend to walk it off?

lmao. show me!!!!!!

and answer my question nigga
 
calveless wonder said:
which strip club was it?
Goldrush?
Tootsies?
Solid gold?

miami strip clubs are fuckin crazy. anything goes and the women are fuckin devlish.

oh..and brazilian girls can work that shit like no other. not surprising.
tall, dark hair, blue eyes....i would have been just as tricked dude LOL. thats like my ideal combo

I'm betting it was Gold Rush. that place is fuckin scam central. everyone goes there super fucked on E and coke from Club Space so the strippers assume everyone is that fucked up and try to run game

I am pretty sure it was Gold Rush cause I was thinking it was Gold Club but that's in New Orleans! Bro you didn't see my other story about taking a midget home or when I put it in my girls pooper on accident and I told her to just walk it off?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Maybe Rocky Road has mad skillz like the Amazon... why not? Lotta charities make money.

LMFAO

Men are such simple creatures. If they weren't, strippers would be out of a job!!

Good story, Beachboy... I am howling over here.

If she does... put in a good word for me...lie if u must. HAHAHA! :p
 
Beachboy6294 said:
I am pretty sure it was Gold Rush cause I was thinking it was Gold Club but that's in New Orleans! Bro you didn't see my other story about taking a midget home or when I put it in my girls pooper on accident and I told her to just walk it off?

haha. gold rush is the fuckin worst. i honestly have never had a good experience there, ever. it's the only strip club open really late though, so a few times fuckin wasted i ended up there afterhours. its 24 hours i think

gold rush is in downtown btw. the rest of the strip clubs in miami are scattered across random areas. Tootsies is great but it's near the ghetto.
Solid gold you'll probably spend alot more money...just that type of place.

there's a few lower end ones but those are the main ones in miami.

there's one just north of miami, closer to fort lauderdale that's great. Scarletts....hottest girls there and actually a pretty cool venue
 
calveless wonder said:
haha. gold rush is the fuckin worst. i honestly have never had a good experience there, ever. it's the only strip club open really late though, so a few times fuckin wasted i ended up there afterhours. its 24 hours i think

gold rush is in downtown btw. the rest of the strip clubs in miami are scattered across random areas. Tootsies is great but it's near the ghetto.
Solid gold you'll probably spend alot more money...just that type of place.

there's a few lower end ones but those are the main ones in miami.

there's one just north of miami, closer to fort lauderdale that's great. Scarletts....hottest girls there and actually a pretty cool venue

It could have been solid gold I just know it had gold in it! It was downtown so probably the other one. My favorite strip club is Mons Venus in Tampa! I know most of the strippers here from when I use to sling crap and I worked as a bouncer in two of them.
 
Holy shit that was hilarious!

But dude, $1600? Are you fucking kidding me? MOM had to wire you money, that is too fuckin unreal! LMFAO!
 
Beachboy6294 said:
I have some great stories and I love to write! Did you see the one about the midget and me hooking up or the one where I told my ex girlfriend to walk it off?


i saw the walk it off.. ewwwwwwwwww..
 
That stripper just called and asked if she can come hangout when she get's off! WTF.... I told her I wasn't feeling good and was going to bed!
 
Did not read this thread. Not even the first post. Sorry BeachBoy.

I WOULD visit one out of morbid curiosity though. :whatever:
 
another sucker is born... due in the 2 years i worked in a strip club i have seen it time and time again. guys get suckered in the vip room and stay for like 20 songs and then complain they didnt know it was $30 per song. thats when i have to roll them out the club. thats the fun part. but ive seen guys burn $5000 in one night in the champagne room. some complain some throw you a $200 tip. either way i get paid in the end cause the girls have to tip me at the end so spend all you want, you dont pay thats my money your messing with. the bottom line is the house always wins.
 
strip clubs are stupid... if its not the "tough" guys at the door or the sad drug addicted dancers.. just mostly a bad vibe in general.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
But the herpes is there to stay.
Its not herpes if its everywhere.
 
Beachboy6294 said:
I HATE STRIP CLUBS


My friends and I were in Miami on vacation four years ago for the WMC and out of all the places to go my friends decided they wanted to go to a fucking strip club. I hate strip clubs what's the point of paying a bunch of women to get naked that you can't even touch. I figured I can have my girl get naked and dance for me and I can touch her .As we enter to strip club I noticed this guy in a wheel chair rolling out of the lap dance room sweating like a slave. I'm thinking to myself why the fuck is he rolling out of a lap dance room. I know this fool just didn't go get a lap dance. So me being the bold one I asked him. "Um did you just get a lap dance"? He said yes I sure did the best lap dance in the world. I said "Um what's the point you can't even feel your legs. He said that might be true but with Isis I feel something else. She isn't just a stripper she has special powers you just have to see for yourself. Well all of my boys were sold on her they all lined up to get lap dances from Isis. My buddy Swolle had went first ,he made the mistake of wearing white warm up sweat paints. And anybody that's ever been inside a strip club or any club knows they have florescent lights so you can see everything on your clothes once those lights hit you. Swolle was in the room for about an hour. I heard all of this moaning and it didn't sound like a woman moaning. It sounded like a grown ass man. I'm out side embarrassed yelling "Swolle you better man up in that room you sound like a sperm whale during mating season". When his lap dance was over Swolle walked out of the room sweating. He was walking funny sort of like a cowboy from the wild west , something was on his leg and he was trying to shake it off. I asked him so how was the lap dance? Breathing heavy he said can I borrow fifty dollars I have to go again. Of course me being who I am I said hell no you are not about to waste any more money on some stripper. My other friends were intrigued over Swolle's reaction coming out of the lap dance room. They were asking Swolle what happened man what happened in there. And Swolle said "Look at the back of my pants son". And when the florescent light hit his white sweat pants you saw a bunch of stains on the back of his pants. I said Swolle I know you didn't cum on yourself during the lap dance. And he smiled and said "She was that good son she was that good". That's all my friends needed to hear they all lined up for this lap dance queen. One went in one came out all cumming all had stains on there pants. I'm sitting at the bar shaking my head at these idiots laughing at them I can't believe some women made them cum on themselves. Then one of my boys was like Beachboy you gotta go in there and get a lap dance. I said I am not spending my hard earn money on some women so she could grind on me. Then he said I paid for your lap dance just go inside the room. I said well in that case I'll do it. When I walked inside of the lap dance room there she stood. She was an Amazon she was about 6,2 Brazilian women , she was built like a tank six pack booty so muscular she could pick a cherry up by the stem with her butt cheeks . Long black hair and blue eyes and she had a huge tattoo of a black panther on the side of her rib cage. I had never seen anything like her. Just looking at her made my dick harder then a fifty dollar jaw breaker. She sat me the chair and said you ready for this baby. Like a little kid I said no maa'm I'm scared. She said don't be scared baby I'm gonna take good care of you. She took off her bra and G string and did a front flip on to my legs and SHE WENT TO WORK. All of a sudden I started moaning like a damn sperm whale. One hour went to two hours two hours went to three before you know it. There wasn't spots on the back of my pants I was drenched. You would have thought I peed on myself. I walked out that lap dance room holding my pants in my hand thank God I wore basketball shorts. My boys saw me in my shorts and they fell out laughing. By the time we left the strip club I had spent all of my vacation money. I had know money at all. I spent $1600 dollars in three hours. I don't even know how I spent all that money I blacked out after the first lap dance. My mom had to wire me money. She tricked me damn it. Who am I kidding she was just that good. So anytime I drive past a strip club I get nauseous. I never went back to another strip club after that. Who am I fooling I am addictted now!!
As I was reading, i thought you were gonna bust out in the end with "And ISIS turned out to have a dick!"
 
Beachboy6294 said:
Brazilian women; You would have thought I peed on myself; I walked out that lap dance room holding my pants

This is all you really need to say. I dated a chick from Brazil, they know their shit.
 
Smurfy said:
Also: why is the cum on the BACK of all your pants? isnt your penis on the FRONT of your body>?
Thats what I was thinking too.

Taking a shit must feel awful nice.
 
1999TL said:
I'm not a fan of the strip club anymore, but anything goes at Treasures in Houston.

Treasures isn't the only one. Houston clubs are full of girls that will do anything for money.
 
tdoom1 said:
cause it runs down the shaft and collects in the taint area...rookies
lol
 
silverstar1025 said:
Treasures isn't the only one. Houston clubs are full of girls that will do anything for money.

How do you know?
 
hog#head#cheese said:
How bout me and you hit one up tonight?

Sure it's ok if my hubby comes though right? We never leave each other out.
 
silverstar1025 said:
Sure it's ok if my hubby comes though right? We never leave each other out.[/QUOTE

Only a GREAT woman would invite her husband to come to a titty bar with another man(I love the sound of that)
 
I don't know if this story is true, but that had to be a crappy titty bar. The are dozens in the south FL area and the good ones, you don't mess like that. I love titty bars, and know a few girls. Those classy places have mostly "normal" girls; they play a role inside, but outside you'll never guess they are dancers; they are down to earth, healthy, smart, in fact some of them have a college degree, others going to school. You'll always find bad apples but I don't pay attention to crackheads.

Classy titty bars in South FL have cameras everywhere; and yes, they review the tapes every single fucking day; sexual activities are not allowed in the lap dance couches and/or champagne rooms. You CAN cheat the cameras with an angle; I've done it; and you CAN touch the girls and do whatever you want. but you have to be known. Is a game; a smart game; is like going to a casino. I've done the craziest things in those places, and sometimes I have a way better time going there than going out with friends. South FL is expensive; if you go with friends to a nice club you'll easily spend 200 bucks. If I go to a titty bar where I know some of the girls, I can spend the same money, laughing my ass with them, touching all I want, making out with pretty girls, listening awesome music and with a bucket of cold buds.

You need a big cock and a smart way to play with money.
 
DJ_UFO said:
I don't know if this story is true, but that had to be a crappy titty bar. The are dozens in the south FL area and the good ones, you don't mess like that. I love titty bars, and know a few girls. Those classy places have mostly "normal" girls; they play a role inside, but outside you'll never guess they are dancers; they are down to earth, healthy, smart, in fact some of them have a college degree, others going to school. You'll always find bad apples but I don't pay attention to crackheads.

Classy titty bars in South FL have cameras everywhere; and yes, they review the tapes every single fucking day; sexual activities are not allowed in the lap dance couches and/or champagne rooms. You CAN cheat the cameras with an angle; I've done it; and you CAN touch the girls and do whatever you want. but you have to be known. Is a game; a smart game; is like going to a casino. I've done the craziest things in those places, and sometimes I have a way better time going there than going out with friends. South FL is expensive; if you go with friends to a nice club you'll easily spend 200 bucks. If I go to a titty bar where I know some of the girls, I can spend the same money, laughing my ass with them, touching all I want, making out with pretty girls, listening awesome music and with a bucket of cold buds.

You need a big cock and a smart way to play with money.

i dont know dude. depends where you're talking about. you can easily fuck alot of those girls in the back room

gold rush, tootsies, cheetahs, solid gold (in fort lauderdale),scarletts. i've had friends that hvae all fucked strippers in each place
 
calveless wonder said:
i dont know dude. depends where you're talking about. you can easily fuck alot of those girls in the back room

gold rush, tootsies, cheetahs, solid gold (in fort lauderdale),scarletts. i've had friends that hvae all fucked strippers in each place

yeah bro i know. but in some of them openly, in the good ones is classified and i can testify that strictly depends on the girl.

but there are some whore houses like pink pony. every single girl that approached me one day at lunch time told me "150 for fucking one hour in the back" that's nasty bro.

the cheetah's in hallandale is nasty. the one in pompano is nice. all the ones you mentioned are whore houses except scarletts. although in scarletts i've done everything...lol
 
calveless wonder said:
i dont know dude. depends where you're talking about. you can easily fuck alot of those girls in the back room

gold rush, tootsies, cheetahs, solid gold (in fort lauderdale),scarletts. i've had friends that hvae all fucked strippers in each place
I have been to the classey strict ones and to the hole in the wall ones. My favorite is the all nude Mons Venus in Tampa!
 
DJ_UFO said:
yeah bro i know. but in some of them openly, in the good ones is classified and i can testify that strictly depends on the girl.

but there are some whore houses like pink pony. every single girl that approached me one day at lunch time told me "150 for fucking one hour in the back" that's nasty bro.

the cheetah's in hallandale is nasty. the one in pompano is nice. all the ones you mentioned are whore houses except scarletts. although in scarletts i've done everything...lol

so what are these "classy" places you speak of? :confused:

not that i'd want to go lolol. oh, and the dollhouse. that place is a dump but good for a few smoking russian/eastern european chicks

ive only been to the cheetahs in pompano, and it was kinda grimey. the girls werent even that cute except for 1 time i went and there was some bangin chicks.
 
calveless wonder said:
so what are these "classy" places you speak of? :confused:

not that i'd want to go lolol. oh, and the dollhouse. that place is a dump but good for a few smoking russian/eastern european chicks

ive only been to the cheetahs in pompano, and it was kinda grimey. the girls werent even that cute except for 1 time i went and there was some bangin chicks.
What's going on bro? How was your weekend? Have you still been partying alot?
 
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