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I am beginning to forget what sex feels like

well, im not gonna pay for it so I guess ill use my imagination
 
KillahBee said:
I find myself masturbating while crying and it's really beginning to scare me.
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How are you supposed to bust a nut whilst crying? WTF are you crying about?
 
Nothing but ex sex for me in the last year, almost two months since the last time. The memories of her moans and groans that I like to think about whilst choking me own chicken are begining to fade. I just don't know if I want to go back to slutting around yet and I haven't met anyone worth the chase.
 
KillahBee said:
It's getting dangerously close to hooker time. For real. I find myself masturbating while crying and it's really beginning to scare me.
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Get the "Uglyman's Guide to Getting Laid" from the EF book store. It might do you some good.
 
KillahBee said:
It's getting dangerously close to hooker time. For real. I find myself masturbating while crying and it's really beginning to scare me.
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What is Sex? :confused:
 
onerepmaximum said:
DUDE, that's BBF.


Put the dick down and slowly back away!
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No I am you silly :rolleyes:
 
KillahBee said:
the question here is - WTF am I NOT crying about.....
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Ekk. Well, shit. I thought you were kidding. Atleast your not fat and ugly like me, you'll get some soon.
 
Gambino said:
killah I thought you had some lil' guniea brat lined up...
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oh don't you worry about me my man, I am going home this weekend for the St. Mary's Feast, where every Italian hunny within 60 miles will be. Long dark hair, Gucci tube tops, and lots of hair product.
 
I think I had sex last night cause when I got out of bed this morning, I didn't have underwear on....

But I don't remember going to bed, and I don't remember taking them off....

Hmmm... I am sure it was some awefull sex if there was sex 'cause I was f'in wasted.....
 
The Ejaculator said:
I think I had sex last night cause when I got out of bed this morning, I didn't have underwear on....

But I don't remember going to bed, and I don't remember taking them off....

Hmmm... I am sure it was some awefull sex if there was sex 'cause I was f'in wasted.....
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Did your anus hurt?
 
string_bean00 said:
Oh shit, I'm thinking of boardin I guess. He posted a pic of some broad with her two friends before a school dance. I got you two mixed up!
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a) it was boardin

b) if I don't have more sex than that douche, please kill me.
 
onerepmaximum said:
Oh yeah. I keep getting confused.





P.S. do you think you could send me some naked pics?
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You want naked pics of yourself??? :worried:
 
KillahBee said:
It's getting dangerously close to hooker time. For real. I find myself masturbating while crying and it's really beginning to scare me.
Click to expand...

get a massage with happy ending; you'll feel better.
 
onerepmaximum said:
You're supposed to end statements like that with "or so I've been told."
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or so I was told by myself. lol
 
onerepmaximum said:
Hmmm, I kind of painted myself into a corner, huh?
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Yea so now send pics of yourself to yourself.... I am waiting :evil:
 
Seashell, you're the first on my list to send pics to. You can believe that.

Ejaculator, I think that means that you need to stop getting drunk with AAP and Freeballin.
 
Seashell said:
Just send the nekkid pics of you, to me.


Then everything will be all better. :p
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Dudette!!! How darest you hijack my "I get no sex" thread by asking for pics of onepumpchump of all people!
 
The Ejaculator said:
I think I had sex last night cause when I got out of bed this morning, I didn't have underwear on....

But I don't remember going to bed, and I don't remember taking them off....

Hmmm... I am sure it was some awefull sex if there was sex 'cause I was f'in wasted.....
Click to expand...


I am so busted! it was me, you told me to do your laundry, I thought you were serious :worried:
 
Frisky stole my line. Seriously she did. She completely ruined a perfectly good homo erotic exchange with onepumpandIdidntfeelathing

Killah. I'm sorry your dog died. Just go to the pound and get another one. And this time lube up more
 
KillahBee said:
oh don't you worry about me my man, I am going home this weekend for the St. Mary's Feast, where every Italian hunny within 60 miles will be. Long dark hair, Gucci tube tops, and lots of hair product.
Click to expand...


Ever been to the San Gennaro Feast in Brooklyn?
 
KillahBee said:
Dudette!!! How darest you hijack my "I get no sex" thread by asking for pics of onepumpchump of all people!
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Oops, sorry. :D Would it make you feel better if I said I almost forget too? But if my memory serves me right.. I think it feels pretty good. :chomp:
 
JerseyArt said:
Frisky stole my line. Seriously she did. She completely ruined a perfectly good homo erotic exchange with onepumpandIdidntfeelathing
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:splat:
 
Gambino said:
Ever been to the San Gennaro Feast in Brooklyn?
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Yes I have. The one near me is smaller, but a damn good one. On Sunday of the feast weekend I usually hang out at the social club with all the old timers playing cards all day getting drunk on espresso and buca. I can't fucking wait.
 
KillahBee said:
a) it was boardin

b) if I don't have more sex than that douche, please kill me.
Click to expand...

sublimeXM gets more action than you and he's in 9th grade
 
KillahBee said:
Yes I have. The one near me is smaller, but a damn good one. On Sunday of the feast weekend I usually hang out at the social club with all the old timers playing cards all day getting drunk on espresso and buca. I can't fucking wait.
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What the..?

I get us back on topic and then you veer off completely into left field with the "feast weekend" and "espresso" talk.. :splat: :D
 
Big Rick Rock said:
Get the "Uglyman's Guide to Getting Laid" from the EF book store. It might do you some good.
Click to expand...


Do they sell a "Super-Duper Uglyman's Guide to Getting Laid"?

Because that is the one he'll need.
 
my advice, though you proly know this, italian women are good to date/sex, but not wifey material...too damn fiery and high mainteance, everyone i have ever met...
 
Gambino said:
my advice, though you proly know this, italian women are good to date/sex, but not wifey material...too damn fiery and high mainteance, everyone i have ever met...
Click to expand...

Oh my dear friend, I know this all too well. Problem is, I am instinctually attracted to almost only Italian women. Until my sister got married recently, there was not one member of my family not 100%, even by marriage.
 
Gambino said:
my advice, though you proly know this, italian women are good to date/sex, but not wifey material...too damn fiery and high mainteance, everyone i have ever met...
Click to expand...


LOL

That's funny, because I always thought the opposite. Would prolly make great wives, but what a pain in the ass to date:)
 
The Ejaculator said:
Woah Woah Woah... Hold on a second there nizzle-nits....


the El-Kabong is SeaBone's deal...... don't confuse us...
Click to expand...

true you confuse easily :rolleyes:
 
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