Hello.
I've read thru your messages here.
I myself don't like Arnold type of bodies. So your buff body won't attract me but the opposite. I don't like to touch a rock hard chest, when I lay down on it doesn't feel good eihter. I am not saying you've gotta be John Candy, no no . Be clean, your hair, (also me, no hair on chest specially NOT on the back..) clean ears, clean nails and hands, Feet!, clothes, don't sweat if you can
and do not smell bad. Take a shower after exercise.
If you are trying to be sooo cool in the gym (or wherever you are), and soo hot and approachable and confident, it does show. That is obnoxious and you reach the opposite. Do not try to impress a girl by lifting tons of weights, we do NOT care, we already know, you're a man and strong comparing to us. If you want to impress your buddy, do so this way, show him your new car, your new stereo system, but we are Not interested!! Don't be a peacock nor a rooster..
In the gym wear regular clothes (I can't believe people wear jeans there!!), and
Do look at the girl sometime, if too often you can be annoying or scare the person specially if no further action follows. A girl will never come over to you at a gym with clearly what she wants. Some girls are just friendly and only want a buddy there ( I would never go over to a guy I like but I do it to people I don't find attractive). How do you know what she wants? A girl who's got no interest in you "other" way, won't flirt with you, won't look at you very often. (If she does along with some eyes-rolling, grimacing, you're out -"Oh God, what are you staring agghain?") If you are not sure, ask questions, maybe you click or you feel something ...- what did you do on the weekend, what are you going to do on the weekend, on the holidays, party, whatever. And if she says something like "nothing special" than ask her out but do
not ask her out. No dinner, nothing like a date should be, so when you are both there, you might develop some spark and it can turn to an instant date-date.
If you are already flirting with someone, don't take too long to approach. Say a "hi" at least for God's sake. This is a gym, the place where you can be a man and act like one. Women need to feel that you like them, if you don't talk, look, give clear signals women don't know what you want. GO OVER. If she is on the iPod, you still can go over, she will take the plugs out. If not, she is rude and the message clear. Sorry. When she is sweating on the treadmill, that's not the right moment.
Before or after (sweaty and blushed, uncomfortable..) is better, while lifting weights -in the break or when she's switching machines. Some girls like to strech, so you can be actually sitting there and talk to them. Don't stalk them around the gym. They get scared and if she likes you she can't do her workout properly and get frustrated. If she doesn't like you she wouldn't even notice that you are there (only if you've been doing it for a while and she annoyed by you, so she takes off making some faces. The "crush" who likes you might leave too, without rolling eyes)
If you still don't know what to tell them, they probably know someone there who they talk to. ((One at least, the member consultant and if you are lucky the same person handles your membership and you at least talk to him/her.)) If it's a guy who she talks to, good, you can have a "boytalk" and inquire if she is a nice person -great ass, big lungs, cute pinkies and whatever you want to know-, if it's a girl and you know the person, ask her if the "crush" is her girlfriend, do they hang out, where? If they are not real friends then ask her what she knows about "crash" or would she introduce you to her planned that does not look planned...
If you don't approach her for a long time don't think she's gonna wait for you. Do you think she never goes out, never meets people?Are you the only person who likes her? NO!
Once again, girls won't go over in the gym.They do at a bar, they loose they shyness cause of the alcohol (you do, too) They are there to exercise b/c they already feel unsecure about themselves and want to be in better shape (even if u think they are hot) Ok, there are girls in tight tops and short pants and tons of make-up and jewellery. I guess they are pretty confident and think they have nothing to hide.. Take it if you like it.
As you are also insecure -just to make it little brighter-, you would never go over either b/c she is soo pretty and you've got a crush on her but affraid of rejection, Right? Be virile!
Im happy I got what i wanted for now...we'll see how the "coffee date" goes...although i have an extremely good feeling about it. Fact of the matter is, sure shes gorgeous, but shes just a girl like all the rest...looks arent everything...heck...theres still tons of girls at my gym (some i know, some i dont) that i plan to take it a little further with. Myd's info above looks pretty accurate and good, even though it's coming from a female standpoint, she is pretty on 
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