How did you first learn about sex?

[Rotten]

I learned everything I know by helping my neighbor clean out the garage. He had a box full of porn that he said I could have if I cleaned the garage for him. Penthouse letters was the starting point for my knowledge. I never knew up until that point that you can walk up to a carload of strange girls, pull your manhood out, and soon you'll be having an orgy with all of them right there on the side of a busy street. It was confusing to me the first time I was with a cheerleader, and two or three of her friends didn't come over and join us. My first sexual encouter was when I was 10 and my babysitter was 16. She taught me alot that night, and I have video so if I ever forget that I can go back and take a review.

So how was your sexual knowledge obtained? I'd put this in Elite Between The Sheets, but all that's over there is a bunch of perverts and you all know my high moral standing. Excuse me while I goto the mall and have the sales girl blow me while I try on some new clothes.

 

[HappyScrappy]

<insert joke about Rotten's mother here>

 

[ROIDJUNKIE]

<insert joke about Rotten's mother here>

Damn! you beat me to it....LOL

 

[Rotten]

Fucking necropheliacs, my mom died giving birth to me 30 years ago.

 

[MommaKin]

I dont' think Scrappy knew that, Rotten

 

[ROIDJUNKIE]

I know...... I was there

 

[decibel]

my brother had hundreds of penthouse in his room and i would always go through them. he also had a big colletcion of pornos that i would watch when my parents weren't home. i would look at this shit everynight. i think it fucked with my head because now i am completely obsessed with blondes and lingerie.
i also had my first orgasm looking at an erotic art book.
oh, yeah, and i used to play with my sister's dirty panties.

 

[WODIN]

Damn that's cold fuckin with a guys mother who has passed away...

Anyway....

I was 7 and read the book Top Bannana which made use of the words, moist, throbbing, pulsating, hot, wet, undulating and joy-spot! This also began my use of websters dictionary on a regular basis.

 

[smallmovesal]

*catholic* sex ed class when i was 10. i didn't know about contraception until i went to public high school. that's incredibly sad.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Fucking necropheliacs, my mom died giving birth to me 30 years ago.

mother fuck - are you serious?! (no pun intended there)
that's twice now I've gone and UNintentially stuck my foot in my mouth with you rotten.

while I do love sex with dead animals - I won't have anything to do with dead women (or any orifice rotten has been through).

 

[The Shadow]

Damn that's cold fuckin with a guys mother who has passed away...

Anyway....

I was 7 and read the book Top Bannana which made use of the words, moist, throbbing, pulsating, hot, wet, undulating and joy-spot! This also began my use of websters dictionary on a regular basis.

Yeah right - Wodin's first lay came as a 20 year old when Thyphoid Mary came rollin' in...

 

[Sailor_Girl]

The Navy sorta indirectly taught me all I know

 

[vixenbabe]

Originally posted by smallmovesal
*catholic* sex ed class when i was 10.

Hey Smallmoves.....Father Mike told me I was THE BEST Alter Girl he has ever HAD...

 

[WODIN]

Yeah right - Wodin's first lay came as a 20 year old when Thyphoid Mary came rollin' in...

He said learned about sex cornturd, not had sex, which was way before Mary came around. And I had nothing to do with the black plauge...Honest!!!

 

[Superfoot]

....Father Mike told me I was THE BEST Alter Girl he has ever HAD...

Father Mike also preached on the importance of keeping secrets secret!!! ...not that we had any secrets...he certainly didn't teach me anything about sex, like you all seem to be IMPLYING!!! WELL YOU'RE ALL LIARS!!!

 

[smallmovesal]

haha you should have seen the nun we had at my church for a while... she looked just like the last priest we had and dressed in what appeared to be burlap sacs to us kiddies... anyway, she really was his spitting image and we used to call her father doreen.

but really it is sad how little they tell you about sex except that you only do it if you want to have kids....

 

[HappyScrappy]

bump
hey rotten - I want to know if I really am this much of an asshole without even trying or if you are just yanking my dick 'cause you like it.
or perhaps a little of both.

and I still say you look just like david sedaris

 

[vixenbabe]

Originally posted by Superfoot

Father Mike also preached on the importance of keeping secrets secret!!! ...not that we had any secrets...he certainly didn't teach me anything about sex, like you all seem to be IMPLYING!!! WELL YOU'RE ALL LIARS!!!

---------------------

The really funny thing about this post is that YOU are from CT. I too, was born in CT. I take it you know Father Mike? !

 

[JohnnyO]

I read Desmond Morris' "The Naked Ape" when I was in the fifth grade.

However I didn't know you were supposed to go "in and out and in and out" until the 7th grade (my friend told me that).

 

[HappyScrappy]

I learned from watching you dad!

 

[Superfoot]

...I take it you know Father Mike? !...

Intimately.

With a wierd name like "Mike" it's got to be the same guy!

 

[supersizeme]

I learned from watching you dad!

ahah funny shit

sadly i didn't know about sex until i was in 7th grade and looked up "sexual intercourse" in the dictionary. then everything just came together and like this light bulb popped over my head and i have been chasing the vagina ever since.

 

[rudedawg]

I just learned from this thread. Well a few threads from Elite Between the Sheets also.

 

[rocketqueen]

I learned in the thrid grade. Lived with my grandparents and had to get them to sign a permission slip to watch a movie on strangers in girl scouts class. So my grandma freaked and said, "well you better know about intercourse then". I said, "learn about what?"

Then she said, "A man and a woman lay down. The man puts his penis into the vagina. He moves it back and forth until semen comes out. Thats how lady's get pregnant and have babies."

I was floored. I remember looking down at my pants like "what the hell?"

I went to school the next morning and told everyone on the playground. Only I couldn't remember semen so I think I said phlegm. Anyway, thats how I learned about sex and thats how I got in trouble for the first time at school.

 

[MaGilicuti]

the movie basic instinct blew my mind

 

[LawDawg8]

I found my step-dad's porn collection ... and being the young inquisitive person that I was, I checked it all out quite frequently....

 

[tripleV]

babysitter

 

[RyanH]

hearing my parents.