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T
TheYork
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Okay, i was with this chick last night. She came over to eat some dinner with me and one thing led to another. We were in my bed getting ready to make love, when i realized my peep was a bit limp. So i started jerking off while i was kissing her hoping to get my little peeper hard. Well my peeper wasn't in a cooperative mood, and he never got hard enough to fuck her. I think it is this hair loss med i am on now.
Anyway, i got a great idea. I told her I had to shit, and i didn't want to shit whilst fucking, so i was going to shit, then come back and fuck her. i went in the bathroom and rubbed lotion on my cock and tried to get him to stiffen a little for the evening. Well he wouldn't, he was just as limp as that cheese that you buy on the little stick and put in your kids lunch, the kind he can peel off and eat.
So i got another idea, i ran into my kitchen and grabbed a frozen hot dog, a ball park franks i believe. it was good and hard, but it was a freezing like a son bitch. so i popped him in the microwave for a few minutes and nuked him. i pulled the hot dog out, and it wasn't freezing cold, but it was now linp (like a regular hotdog). I was like, "hell, this isn't any harder than my dick". So i ate it real quick then grabbed another hot dog. I figured i would just fuck her with a cold one and she wouldn't notice.
I went back in and we started getting it on. I fingered her, then she was like "okay, fuck me with your dick now." I was like, "okay, ill fuck you with my weiner". So i stuck the hotdog in her pussy, and started fucking her with it. She was like "your dick is so cold mark". I was like "yeah, i dropped a cinderblock on it and had to ice it earlier, it's still a bit cold" SO here i am fucking her with this hot dog, she is like "give it to me big-bad-booty daddy!!!! Your dick is so hard, it feels so fine!!!"
She was then like, "why aren't you cumming, you need to cum in me" So i quickey grabbed my hand lotion of my dresser, and squirted it in her pussy. She thought it was my real dick, and my real cum too!!!
She told me today at work that she ever had, and she wants to come over again tonight and have me do her anal (in her butt).
Anyway, i got a great idea. I told her I had to shit, and i didn't want to shit whilst fucking, so i was going to shit, then come back and fuck her. i went in the bathroom and rubbed lotion on my cock and tried to get him to stiffen a little for the evening. Well he wouldn't, he was just as limp as that cheese that you buy on the little stick and put in your kids lunch, the kind he can peel off and eat.
So i got another idea, i ran into my kitchen and grabbed a frozen hot dog, a ball park franks i believe. it was good and hard, but it was a freezing like a son bitch. so i popped him in the microwave for a few minutes and nuked him. i pulled the hot dog out, and it wasn't freezing cold, but it was now linp (like a regular hotdog). I was like, "hell, this isn't any harder than my dick". So i ate it real quick then grabbed another hot dog. I figured i would just fuck her with a cold one and she wouldn't notice.
I went back in and we started getting it on. I fingered her, then she was like "okay, fuck me with your dick now." I was like, "okay, ill fuck you with my weiner". So i stuck the hotdog in her pussy, and started fucking her with it. She was like "your dick is so cold mark". I was like "yeah, i dropped a cinderblock on it and had to ice it earlier, it's still a bit cold" SO here i am fucking her with this hot dog, she is like "give it to me big-bad-booty daddy!!!! Your dick is so hard, it feels so fine!!!"
She was then like, "why aren't you cumming, you need to cum in me" So i quickey grabbed my hand lotion of my dresser, and squirted it in her pussy. She thought it was my real dick, and my real cum too!!!
She told me today at work that she ever had, and she wants to come over again tonight and have me do her anal (in her butt).
no need to refer to it on every board.
