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Help Ulcaster get laid thread.
- Thread starter jerseyart
- Start date
Not funny myanmars
The boy needs help, and all you can offer is bad 80's seconds. F' you also because now I can't stop singing it.
Ulcaster, if I were you, I'd ask Robert Jan for his sis' phone number. I hear she is not only good in bed, but has cause for low self esteem. It's worth a shot, plus you may have an in with the brother. It's easy to get Robert to like you, just pretend to hate everything
The boy needs help, and all you can offer is bad 80's seconds. F' you also because now I can't stop singing it.
Ulcaster, if I were you, I'd ask Robert Jan for his sis' phone number. I hear she is not only good in bed, but has cause for low self esteem. It's worth a shot, plus you may have an in with the brother. It's easy to get Robert to like you, just pretend to hate everything
awittyusername
New member
How old is he? What is his job, looks, past info???
Give us something to work with
Give us something to work with
I don't know. The pics in his avatar don't look promising for any of those criteria
Ulcaster, true story. When I was in college a friend of mine had some David Lee Roth concert ticks that nobody wanted for obvious reasons. But he had them, figured WTF, and dragged me along with him. The fucking place was packed with chicks, and we were each blown twice right in the arena seats.
Dude, if David Lee Roth does a comeback tour, make certain to but tickets. The chicks will no doubt be older now, but wtf
Ulcaster, true story. When I was in college a friend of mine had some David Lee Roth concert ticks that nobody wanted for obvious reasons. But he had them, figured WTF, and dragged me along with him. The fucking place was packed with chicks, and we were each blown twice right in the arena seats.
Dude, if David Lee Roth does a comeback tour, make certain to but tickets. The chicks will no doubt be older now, but wtf
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jjunior
Guest
how old is he?
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Gambino
Guest
plus, rj's sis is a freaky dutch chic, those people have loose morals for sure...you will definetly score after the first latte...
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
...Not funny
Ulcasterdropout said:
We know bro. But with the help of all the other bors and borettes, I'm pretty confident that together we could help you get to at least second base, maybe even third, with a chick.
She won't be what most people would consider "nice looking", she may even be a few steps below what they would call fugly. But a tit is a tit, and that is our objective at the moment.
Reach for the tit ulcaster, reach for the tit young bor
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IwouldSlamU
New member
how old is this virgin
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
I think the situation is more grim then you fathom.
I don't even like shaking hands.......with my own mother.
I'm very distant @ almost 26 y/o
If this thread is not in jest, then I truly appreciate your concern, although
in vein, it's nice
If this thread's purpose is to humiliate me, then I hope you burn alive!
I don't even like shaking hands.......with my own mother.
I'm very distant @ almost 26 y/o
If this thread is not in jest, then I truly appreciate your concern, although
in vein, it's nice
If this thread's purpose is to humiliate me, then I hope you burn alive!im showing my nice side and im here to help you out......what can i do?Ulcasterdropout said:I think the situation is more grim then you fathom.
I don't even like shaking hands.......with my own mother.
I'm very distant @ almost 26 y/o
If this thread is not in jest, then I truly appreciate your concern, although
in vein, it's nice
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
My post was @ Jersey...SoKlueles said:
Hello BTW
Yarg!
Platinum Membership gift from THE BOMB SQUAD!
*flame shield on* maybe he wants to wait till marriage and make it all special- like yours truly. this will prolly sound CLICHED, but just dont be arrogant, be funny, listen, ask questions (seriously this works, eg: girl: "my ex boyfriend cheated on me" me: "oh thats too bad. what did u do to him?) so the convos get stretched, and just be a gentleman like opening doors for her and stuff. pretty soon, reap in the benefits. good luck.
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Ulcasterdropout
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Even worse......JerseyArt said:
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Ulcasterdropout
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What stuff?SoKlueles said:
Ulcasterdropout said:
Seriously Ulcaster, if you are 26 and have this problem, then you need to seek some help. That isn't mocking you, we all need help from time to time with our problems. Maybe something that happened to you when you were younger needs to be resolved. Maybe there are certain social skills that need to be learned.
Don't go on letting this thing drag on bro. Find yourself some answers. Start with someone who specializes in sexual and social phobias. There is a whole world out there that you are denying yourself.
IwouldSlamU
New member
you should try some social axiety drugs, that could help
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
Born Oct 15, 1978 2:15 AM 25Yarg! said:
No , but we could be twinsYarg! said:
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Ulcasterdropout
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You're stepping over the lineJerseyArt said:
So I've heard. I hear about it here, in all your posts. Doesn't seem like a nice place.....JerseyArt said:
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Ulcasterdropout
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Can we have this thread deleted? It no longer serves a purpose.
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Ulcasterdropout
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[size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size] [size=+5]DELETE[/size]
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Ulcasterdropout
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Yes and reasonably yes. I just made the "reasonable" cut. I'm prolly the 5th biggest person at my gym...It's not a big place though...JerseyArt said:
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
White Shrek. Complete with matching persona.JerseyArt said:
6'2". Not proportional. Average legs and big upper body.JerseyArt said:
Speech impediment.JerseyArt said:
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jjunior
Guest
eros.com
thats all the help I can give you.
do you have friends? go out and have some fun man.
thats all the help I can give you.
do you have friends? go out and have some fun man.
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Ulcasterdropout
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No. I sorta forgot how to talk. I never do it anymore.JerseyArt said:
Too stubborn.JerseyArt said:
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Ulcasterdropout
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No good where I live....jjunior said:
Nobody....jjunior said:
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Ulcasterdropout
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I was wondering when you'd show up...nordstrom said:
The next virgin bashing thread is your's bitch J/K
Lao Tzu
New member
Ulcasterdropout said:I was wondering when you'd show up...
The next virgin bashing thread is your's bitch J/K
I'll set a backfire
Think of me as one of those vietnam soldiers who pushes a friend out of the way of a grenade.
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Ulcasterdropout
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I'm not kidding....JerseyArt said:LOL Fucker
Aversion to, or even revulsion by intimate personal contact is no laughing matter. That's something I have to deal with as well, and as a result I tend to go through extended "dry spells." It really takes a lot, to get used to people being physically "familiar." Shit, I'll just about jump out of my skin if someone comes up and pats my back or puts their hand on my shoulder.
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Ulcasterdropout
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Go ahead. I think I'm gonnna put this screen name to sleep.SoKlueles said:
Only when I have to, which can be as little as once a year. I have toSoKlueles said:
sign for vacation days in person. That spawns a conversation that I dread.
Personal questions are like slaps in the face to me.
It's not to bad on the Internet though. Here, I can be someone else in seconds.
I detest physical contact. Even someone bumping into me makes me want to throw them out a window, but most keep thier distance, so it's never a problemSoKlueles said:
An understatement, but yes.SoKlueles said:
Not sure, I got used to being alone. It stuck.SoKlueles said:
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Ulcasterdropout said:
I have had this problem also. Started in my early 30's. Sometimes my mind would just go blank when I was talking to people and I would sometimes stutter, which freaked me out. You can develop a stutter at any time during life. My problems were due to high anxiety levels I believe. I take medication for this anxiety now and it's a godsend, without it, I probably would have troube leaving my house. Biteme again. Can't sign out under Starfish right now.
Moderate_THIS
New member
unfortunately this is a downward spiral. There is no way he can improve his social misgivings unless he gets out and interacts. don't you have friends at work bro?
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Ulcasterdropout
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Yeah....chaos mage said:
No friends or relations. No exceptions. I did have freinds (well, kinda friendschaos mage said:
) in highschool. None after that...awittyusername
New member
SoKlueles said:
ditto
Slowly try interacting w/people more. Pretend the world is one big Elete Fitness board. (you can be whoever you want.)
Don't be afraid or ashamed to get help. (Dr.,relative, etc) Everyone in the world has their own issues.
We love ya man.
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
Liar!!! j/k You may or may not like me but I do adore you.....SoKlueles said:
I do?SoKlueles said:
If you say so....SoKlueles said:
I go out and have fun, but where I go, there's no humans for miles.SoKlueles said:
Germs don't bother me. It's a space issue. I like it too much.SoKlueles said:
I don't see that....awittyusername said:
That's not an option for me. Getting me to talk on a personal level, in person, is like trying to strap a big dude into an electric chair. I squirm out everytime.awittyusername said:
Ulcasterdropout said:Yeah....
No friends or relations. No exceptions. I did have freinds (well, kinda friends
So what caused you to become so isolated, especially if you used to have friends? When did this problem of yours seem to start?
Tweakle
New member
If you're lucking out all the time then you're probably setting your standards way too high, all guys want to bone the hotties but we can't all be BBF :lol: 
that's why God created fat chicks.
The hooker thing's not a bad idea if you're going thru a drought, there's some cuties out there who'll do anything for $150 & who knows you might even get a # or at least a freebie off them. Not that you want it but you gotta start somewhere.
online dating might seem like a good idea if you dont know any women in your area but the reality is even the ugly ones get hit on several times a day so they're pickier than the average bar slut.
good luck, keep us posted.
that's why God created fat chicks.The hooker thing's not a bad idea if you're going thru a drought, there's some cuties out there who'll do anything for $150 & who knows you might even get a # or at least a freebie off them. Not that you want it but you gotta start somewhere.
online dating might seem like a good idea if you dont know any women in your area but the reality is even the ugly ones get hit on several times a day so they're pickier than the average bar slut.
good luck, keep us posted.
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
I use the term "freinds" losely...hanselthecaretaker said:
I liked them, but we kept it real light.
They moved away or died. Drunk driver for one and a lumberjacking accident
for the other. I give off a curse....
They were all life long friends (but not close), met from pre-school to 2nd grade.
I lost them, I didn't find myself in a situation conducive to make new ones. Stories over....
awittyusername
New member
I guess the question is ..Are you happy this way? If you are great. If not get some help and try breaking out. People seem to like you here. They could do the same if you over come the space issue. That is ...if you want to.Ulcasterdropout said:
It sounds like you've just been through a lot of shit, are very depressed because of it, and don't want to be helped. Is it true that you don't want to be close to anyone because you think they'll end up getting hurt or worse? Do you have bad feelings towards your parents at all for the way you feel now?
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Ulcasterdropout
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ALT F4
I don't speak with them anymore.....
I don't speak with them anymore.....
awittyusername
New member
Counselling can do wonders bro.
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
I've hugged people before. Anways, I could use one after this thread.SoKlueles said:you make me sad Uc i wanna hug u but im afraid youll box me in the nose......
It'd be torture. I don't think I could stand it.awittyusername said:
awittyusername
New member
Ulcasterdropout said:
Yes, it is torture. But, trust me it can make you feel great in the long run.
awittyusername
New member
I hope you don't think anyone is attacking you. I think we are just trying to help
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
No, I don't think anyone is attacking me and I appreciate the advice. Making myself listen to it is another story.awittyusername said:
Moderate_THIS
New member
Ulcasterdropout said:
My favorite Arby's is the one right of the Thruway in Weedsport. By far the best Arby's. I thoroughly enjoy taking dumps there as well.
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Ulcasterdropout
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Been there a few times....chaos mage said:
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jjunior
Guest
this seems like a joke
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Ulcasterdropout
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jjunior said:
This is the joke called Ulcaster's life. Thanks for stopping by.
The exits are down the hall, to the left, past the soda machines.
Be well
Burning_Inside
Elite Mentor
i think ulcaster has a slight "i hate people cause they're all stupid and therefore i'm slightly better than the average joe" kind of complex. On top of this he has a huge fear of rejection. If ulcaster sees himself as better than the average joe, than why should any woman reject him? Well what if they do? Ego goes crazy. Depression sets in. Or maybe it's not a fear but a hate, a hate for a person who would reject someone who is purportedly better then they are but they won't take the time to see...Stupid people.
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Ulcasterdropout
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That's Robert Jan, 7 threads overBurning_Inside said:
(J/K RJ)All seriousness, I'm a very low person with no contempt for anyone but myself. I'm no better then anyone. I'm on the plankton rung of the human, social/sexual food chain.
Fear of rejection is in chapter 8. I'm still in the prologue. I'm not capable of any relationship, let alone, one with a female of a romantic capacity.Burning_Inside said:
Bro,
I have to admit, when I firts wrote this I thought you were kidding, or at minimum exxagerating incredibly. It wasn't intended to embarass you, nor do I think there is any reason you should feel embarassed. We all have our issues.
Even now I'm uncertain. You have me, then write something like "lumerjacking accident", and I think he has got to be kidding. I mean, what are the chances?
What I am certain of is that you are an intelligent and witty young man. That much is evident in your posts, and couldn't be faked. If all of the rest of what you say is true Ulcaster, then don't let it continue one bro. We can't always control the problems life hand us, just how we react and deal with them.
What is troubling you sounds like it requires more help than anyone here can reasonably offer. You need professional advice and help. There is no shame in that. The only shame would be in allowing yourself to continue suffering without at least attempting to turn things around.
In your mind somehow you've convinced yourself that people are far less accessible and desirous of meeting other people than is the case. You have turned an obstacle whihc should be a foot high to step over into the great wall by perceiving things out of proportion to what they really are. I hope things work out for you bro, and I hope you don't change your screen name. I have always enjoyed your posts and your contributions to the site.
I have to admit, when I firts wrote this I thought you were kidding, or at minimum exxagerating incredibly. It wasn't intended to embarass you, nor do I think there is any reason you should feel embarassed. We all have our issues.
Even now I'm uncertain. You have me, then write something like "lumerjacking accident", and I think he has got to be kidding. I mean, what are the chances?
What I am certain of is that you are an intelligent and witty young man. That much is evident in your posts, and couldn't be faked. If all of the rest of what you say is true Ulcaster, then don't let it continue one bro. We can't always control the problems life hand us, just how we react and deal with them.
What is troubling you sounds like it requires more help than anyone here can reasonably offer. You need professional advice and help. There is no shame in that. The only shame would be in allowing yourself to continue suffering without at least attempting to turn things around.
In your mind somehow you've convinced yourself that people are far less accessible and desirous of meeting other people than is the case. You have turned an obstacle whihc should be a foot high to step over into the great wall by perceiving things out of proportion to what they really are. I hope things work out for you bro, and I hope you don't change your screen name. I have always enjoyed your posts and your contributions to the site.
GoldenDelicious
New member
lol Jerseyart so Ulcaster is your alter
nice angle mate, but i reckon posting it in bts would have worked anyway
nice angle mate, but i reckon posting it in bts would have worked anyway
tuc biscuit
New member
Iv'e not read the thread a whole lot, but are you actively trying to get laid ulcaster?
If so just got to a meat market bar a few times and it will happen.
If not, good for you, lots of sexual partners and one night stands just devalue sex and make it meaningless when you actually come to have it with someone you care for.
If so just got to a meat market bar a few times and it will happen.
If not, good for you, lots of sexual partners and one night stands just devalue sex and make it meaningless when you actually come to have it with someone you care for.
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
I've been 100% honest from the get go with this....JerseyArt said:
I don't know what to call it, my buddy Joel worked for a tree service, tree un-rooted, he got ripped in half.JerseyArt said:
Wise words, but wasted...JerseyArt said:
I made that clear in my second post in this thread. Told you I was FUBAR.JerseyArt said:
This has been the case for some time, I can't deny this ....JerseyArt said:
There would be much shame for me. Got to remember Jersey, where I come from, men are judged differently, and from observation, you judge yourself the same by proxy.JerseyArt said:
I'm a waste of carbon, nothing to add there...Anyways, I'm not suffering to bad. Just around Christmas is a little kick in the teeth. If I make it, I do, if I don't, I don't. I have systems in place.JerseyArt said:
I haven't convinced myself of much. My personality idiosyncrasies fell into place the way they did, like anybody's, throughout my life time-line. It's a complicated algorithm, how people form. Someone will become a painter, a socialite, or a serial killer. People form as a person. I formed badly and removed. I'm not the only one like this. You remember my post in the +18 virgins thread? I have lots of aunts and uncles like this. We/I are not very human. Cold people, where only 1 in 4 reproduces. I'm an evolutionary dead-end...JerseyArt said:
Somewhat. Again Jersey, growing up in the middle of nowhere, people form social bonds conducive to their environment. My family was not friendly with anyone, including each other. I come from the same tree. In a city, where there's 8 million people, your prolly gonna be more social then a fella from a neighborhood of 7 people.JerseyArt said:
I think you'll forget this thread fairly quckly, atleast not long after the thrill and entertainment value has diminishedJerseyArt said:
and It's still echoing in my mother fucking head! I should have shut you down, but I played along.....So be it.
Ok and thanks....JerseyArt said:
I'm dead tired and haven't had my coffee yet. I hope this made since. I'll edit or whatever when I get home...
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Ulcasterdropout
Guest
So Jersey, is that it?
This shoulda been left on the dex.....
This shoulda been left on the dex.....
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Ulcaster,
As you know I PMed you this morning, as well as Raina, to have the thread deleted. It was decided that it would be your choice whether or not to do so.
The thread, as I wrote her, and in my PM, was not intended to be cruel. As I explained to you several times, a good deal of what you write comes across as joking, and not seriously something that is happening in your life. Your constant dead pan references to yourself looking like Shreck adds to this perception.
When you explained it was not a sarcastic or joking matter, I immediately apologized and asked for the thread to be removes so as not to upset you further. Why do you wish to continue this discussion on this thread, since you are the one who has stated it is bothering you. If you want to take some swings at me go ahead. No doubt I have them coming. I just hope you recognize that I would have never have started this thread had I known these were actual issues you were dealing with.
As you know I PMed you this morning, as well as Raina, to have the thread deleted. It was decided that it would be your choice whether or not to do so.
The thread, as I wrote her, and in my PM, was not intended to be cruel. As I explained to you several times, a good deal of what you write comes across as joking, and not seriously something that is happening in your life. Your constant dead pan references to yourself looking like Shreck adds to this perception.
When you explained it was not a sarcastic or joking matter, I immediately apologized and asked for the thread to be removes so as not to upset you further. Why do you wish to continue this discussion on this thread, since you are the one who has stated it is bothering you. If you want to take some swings at me go ahead. No doubt I have them coming. I just hope you recognize that I would have never have started this thread had I known these were actual issues you were dealing with.
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