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Hard-Bitten
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How would you let him know nicely? or vice versa if you suck in bed how would fix it?
Just a general question (=
Just a general question (=
He Sucks In Bed!!!
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Hard-Bitten
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No, just a general question... there's a new guy at work (= so who knows!velvett said:
Hard-Bitten
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myd said:Haha!
Just ask him veerrrry nicely, would you please do this and that..?
My ex BF still didn't know what forplay is thus.. after years!!They just don't listen.
I have to use "Please" ?
Bikini Mod
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Of course you do. Please is the magic word darlin. No one likes to be ordered around.
In my estimation there are three things that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom:
1. manners.
2. the appreciation of aesthetics.
3. the knowledge that sex is a GIFT to be shared between mutually consenting adults.
Now as to a man lacking skill in bed. This is one of the reasons why I do not date younger men... and another reason why I refuse to date a man that is not a "pleaser" by nature. A selfish person makes for a HORRIBLE lover.
In my estimation there are three things that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom:
1. manners.
2. the appreciation of aesthetics.
3. the knowledge that sex is a GIFT to be shared between mutually consenting adults.
Now as to a man lacking skill in bed. This is one of the reasons why I do not date younger men... and another reason why I refuse to date a man that is not a "pleaser" by nature. A selfish person makes for a HORRIBLE lover.
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I dont think I would come right out and say "hey you suck in bed" thankfully i have never been put in that situation. Maybe if he did suck then try to guide him a little bit next time. Work with him and be some what aggresive and take control. That may help out a little bit
Bikini Mod
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If a man genuinely wants to please you then you can guide him gently. Otherwise, pretend it never happened and move on.
BIKINIMOM said:
OMG!
So true.
I briefly dated an older Jewish guy many years ago and while we never reached "the bed" or any such nookies - MY GOD - I never met anyone that took the time to make me happy and didn't come across like a "daddy" or "girly" in doing so.
I don't believe mommas raise boys like this anymore and I don't believe many husbands set as great of an example as they did a few generations ago.
I would not want to be in my teens or twenty's right now.
Yeah welll I would say women are just as much to blame for the way some men are too. I mean the clothes they wear and the way they flaunt themselves no wonder they are treated like a whore half the time. I think sexy is showing enough but not revealing it all. It's a lot in how someone presents themself. It seems like everyone is out to take.. but noone is out to give. I refuse to settle with the takers... Men or women, relationship or no relationship.velvett said:
I would rather give until taken for granted, then take and be left with guilt and emptiness.
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velvett said:
And you all wonder why I prefer to date older Jewish men nearly exclusively.
Bikini Mod
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treilin said:Damnit I passed up a older Jewish millionaire... We were even roomates and I used to help him spend his money, on himself of course...They are tight with their money, lol
Not all men of means are cheap. They are like their less afluent counterparts in many regards. A few may be keepers, but most just plain aren't.
...and money has the least to do with their "keepability" or lack thereof.
Totally true... If I was a gold digger I could be sitting at home and getting spa treatments all day long. Nicest guy in the world, and was a really good friend, till I dressed him up, decorated his house, picked him out a new vehicle to drive, and showed him some style, and some ho bag came by snatched him up and wouldn't let him talk to me any more , WOMEN!!!BIKINIMOM said:Not all men of means are cheap. They are like their less afluent counterparts in many regards. A few may be keepers, but most just plain aren't.
If it's not my salary that I deserve, I couldn't take money from someone. Unless it's related -or very very close. I know it's dumb as I was told but there is just a wall that I can't jump over and can't ask for anything, not even favors. If they don't give it to me because they want to and they ask me before, I say no. I rather buy jewelry, clothes, or whatever for myself then open my mouth and beg for it.
I am actually envious of women with the ability of asking, seriously.
I don't even see old jewish man around
I am actually envious of women with the ability of asking, seriously.
I don't even see old jewish man around
Bikini Mod
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Asking and Begging are two completely different things.
If you dont TELL someone what you need or would like (whether we are talking the style of clothing you prefer for a gift or the way you like to be kissed and held or the way you like to have communication reciprocated, etc) then how are they supposed to know?
Men are not mind-readers.... and neither are women.
Healthy communication is key. You must learn to ask for help when you need it and accept it graciously when it is given. If the help does not come, you must still be able to make way.
This lesson took me near all my life to learn.
Total independence from the rest of the planet is not something that I choose to strive for but rather, I prefer to maintain a balance of doing as much as I can for myself, but still allowing myself to trust in humankind that if I fall, SOMEONE, will catch me, clean my wound and give me what I need in order to get back up on me feet and that person will expect nothing in return but to hope that I will "pay it forward".
If you dont TELL someone what you need or would like (whether we are talking the style of clothing you prefer for a gift or the way you like to be kissed and held or the way you like to have communication reciprocated, etc) then how are they supposed to know?
Men are not mind-readers.... and neither are women.
Healthy communication is key. You must learn to ask for help when you need it and accept it graciously when it is given. If the help does not come, you must still be able to make way.
This lesson took me near all my life to learn.
Total independence from the rest of the planet is not something that I choose to strive for but rather, I prefer to maintain a balance of doing as much as I can for myself, but still allowing myself to trust in humankind that if I fall, SOMEONE, will catch me, clean my wound and give me what I need in order to get back up on me feet and that person will expect nothing in return but to hope that I will "pay it forward".
I wasn't thought how to ask. I am not talking about relationships and men how to make me and each other happier. I have this lock of asking -and is in my head sort of begging. I never asked anybody ie. to come and help me to move -who knew me they knew I have no car and they should offer bc they know this... I don't want to risk a friendship or make problems and silent minutes because I ask and they think I use them or just ask too much.
Money. I never asked. Not even my previous boyfriends. To buy me things. Never. I make my own money, I have a job -thank God- I can support myself. I am not saying it wouldn't be nice. And people they know you, they know what you desire for. You talk, you walk on the street, you say you like this and that on that person, in the window, on tv, my favorite xyz broke, got lost, my job doesn't make me happy, I hate my neighbors I want to move..etc. You don't Tell-tell them, so this is if they listen, should know.
Some people can't say certain things, same with me only with asking.
The sex stuff, as in this topic, is different.
Money. I never asked. Not even my previous boyfriends. To buy me things. Never. I make my own money, I have a job -thank God- I can support myself. I am not saying it wouldn't be nice. And people they know you, they know what you desire for. You talk, you walk on the street, you say you like this and that on that person, in the window, on tv, my favorite xyz broke, got lost, my job doesn't make me happy, I hate my neighbors I want to move..etc. You don't Tell-tell them, so this is if they listen, should know.
Some people can't say certain things, same with me only with asking.
The sex stuff, as in this topic, is different.
Bikini Mod
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People are not mind-readers and if you think that a friend will stop being your friend because you ask them to help you move and they dont truly WANT to help, then they aren't really your friend... are they?
My friends know that IF I have the availability and capability I will help them with whatever I can. If I cant help, then I say, "I wish I could, but I cant." And if they are my friend then they will understand.
You have to learn to ask for what you want and need. <----- a major problem I have had my whole life because I am afraid that I will A - make people mad at me (suffered a lot of abuse my whole life) or B - they will let me down.
The first time is the hardest and when you are done, you see that there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. Life goes on.
My friends know that IF I have the availability and capability I will help them with whatever I can. If I cant help, then I say, "I wish I could, but I cant." And if they are my friend then they will understand.
You have to learn to ask for what you want and need. <----- a major problem I have had my whole life because I am afraid that I will A - make people mad at me (suffered a lot of abuse my whole life) or B - they will let me down.
The first time is the hardest and when you are done, you see that there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. Life goes on.
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myd said:
Darlin - you only need pay it forward.
ms Mars
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is not necessarily that younger men are lack of knowlege when it comes to bed, sure there are also an matured men who lack of knowlege when it comes to bed. i think it is depend of what is the back ground of the guy... 
to the op i undstand how you feel,lack of experience is sucks ! it can be very prostrating. you can guide him and let him know what do you like him to do and try to ask him if he is happy and satisfied they way you perform..you know, just open the communication is the key. he will learn sooner...
to the op i undstand how you feel,lack of experience is sucks ! it can be very prostrating. you can guide him and let him know what do you like him to do and try to ask him if he is happy and satisfied they way you perform..you know, just open the communication is the key. he will learn sooner...
