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Funny Ex Wife Story

M

Mad Jasper

New member
Me and ex #1 were married 17 years and have a 13 year old daughter together. We had an amicable divorce, split time equally with the kid and from time to time, I have drinks with her and her husband.

Me and ex #2 were married for 5 months. No kids. We don't talk. Ever.

Ex #1 and ex #2 hate one another.

I have an amazing girlfriend that I've been dating for 2.5 years. Best of the 3 by far.

Me and the gf were at a dinner party Saturday night when my daughter texted me. Her mom was was late to pick her up from the homecoming dance because....... she, ex #1, had a few too many margaritas and started an altercation with ex #2 at a Mexican restaurant.

You just can't make this shit up.
 
s2Xft.jpg
 
Only one choice there bor.

Four way with all three girls. Post pics or youre a fgnt and it never happened.

(and no, youre -- not you're. Correct grammar is for fgnts too)
 
This story fucking blows

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
 
Mad Jasper said:
You blow fgt
Click to expand...

Your mother blows you lame story telling piece of monkey shit you wasted 15 seconds of my life with that lame ass story

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
 
Strongbow don't pretend you blew through that block of shit in 15 seconds with your 7th grade reading level havin' ass

Took you at least 2 fuckin minutes to sound out all the words
 
Mad Jasper said:
You want to see ME in a 4-way and you call me a fgt!?!
Click to expand...

If it's you and three girls, no faggotry is involved.

But it makes sense now why you are such a super fgt -- you don't even know what one is.

God I hate you. I'm pissed and pacing.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
 
this story would have better with firearms and police..and maybe a broken windshield or two
 
mrplunkey said:
If it's you and three girls, no faggotry is involved.

But it makes sense now why you are such a super fgt -- you don't even know what one is.

God I hate you. I'm pissed and pacing.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

If you want to see a dick, even if it's swallowed up by a pussy, you're still a fgt.
 
bigbassturd said:
Strongbow don't pretend you blew through that block of shit in 15 seconds with your 7th grade reading level havin' ass

Took you at least 2 fuckin minutes to sound out all the words
Click to expand...

My fuckjng secretary read it to me bish ngr I got bishes for everything these days. I daddy left me 12 shares of a compqny he owned half of it was bought out so I put 6.8 million in the bank I dont need to be able to read bro. Ill hire a negro to do it for me and if. I dont like what they read l put my boot in their ass. Baleee dat

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
 
Strongbow said:
My fuckjng secretary read it to me bish ngr I got bishes for everything these days. I daddy left me 12 shares of a compqny he owned half of it was bought out so I put 6.8 million in the bank I dont need to be able to read bro. Ill hire a negro to do it for me and if. I dont like what they read l put my boot in their ass. Baleee dat

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

Lol @ the most unbelievable part of that story being that a negro could read....
 
You should be more like Velvet and have your shit together. Stop getting married.

Hi Nan ;-)
Strong the girls bum in your avi looks soiled
 
Mad Jasper said:
If you want to see a dick, even if it's swallowed up by a pussy, you're still a fgt.
Click to expand...

You either don't watch porn, or you watch really lame porn.

Do you only watch that cinemax, faux fucking stuff?
 
ceo said:
You either don't watch porn, or you watch really lame porn.

Do you only watch that cinemax, faux fucking stuff?
Click to expand...

Lesbian porn. Maybe college voyeur porn or something, but if I see some guys hairy sack pounding a chicks ass I have to turn away.

I know it's not normal but I figure my mom got dp'd when she was preggars with me and it really fucked me up.
 
Mad Jasper said:
Lesbian porn. Maybe college voyeur porn or something, but if I see some guys hairy sack pounding a chicks ass I have to turn away.

I know it's not normal but I figure my mom got dp'd when she was preggars with me and it really fucked me up.
Click to expand...

That would explain it.

That peeler banging your skull during pregnancy explains why you like balls hitting your chin as an adult -- you're recreating your maternal conditions.
 
Mad Jasper said:
Lesbian porn. Maybe college voyeur porn or something, but if I see some guys hairy sack pounding a chicks ass I have to turn away.

I know it's not normal but I figure my mom got dp'd when she was preggars with me and it really fucked me up.
Click to expand...

Tribbing Ftw?
 
bigbassturd said:
Lol @ the most unbelievable part of that story being that a negro could read....
Click to expand...

Lol I can read bitch I just dont have to. I pay ngrs to read for me

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
 
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