Friend got raped for child support, what can he do?

[Werd]

I can't take back the past, but I certainly have the power to affect the future.

The only WERDS of advice that I have for BI's friend. Perhaps rather than wasting his mental energies on trying to find ways to fuck on his baby's mother (not saying that it wouldn't be "justified" in some way perhaps) his should instead focus on improving his life so that he can be the best damned father to his child. Looking for ways to beat that child out of support just doesnt seem to be one of them.


again - just my .02

 

[from zero]

Werd vs. Everyone. Round 29,873.

Ding.

 

[gregory]

Not saying a flame war with you personally, mon ami. Just w/anyone on the board in general.

As for your assessment of why relationships fail I must humbly disagree. I never fronted, nor did my ex. The problems arose when I no longer wanted to put up with abuse. He refused to recognize his shortcomings as I most certainly began to recognize mine. Believe it or not even after all that occured our marriage COULD have been saved, or at least we could have maintained a good relationship for the common good of our children. However, it will never be as my ex is so deeply mired in denial that the only hope my kids have for any sort of real father is my sister's husband and if I chose to remarry.

Two shrinks and my current man have been in awe when I had finally confided all the abuse that I had suffered as a child and young adult. The are amazed at how I am so "together" for someone who had suffered so many people fucking on her - key people that she should have been able to trust.

I never realized how abusive my ex was. That is the truth. When you are rasied with abuse it might take total devastation before you wake up and realize that something just isn't right and it takes a lot of hard work to try to mend that...

Everything began to turn around for me when I finally admitted to myself that I knowingly married and chose a MONSTER to father my only children.

I can't take back the past, but I certainly have the power to affect the future.

Well, re-read what i posted. If you understand the depth of what i am saying about poeple REALLY knowing one another, this would include knowing one's self as well you will see how you fit perfectly in what i described, your ex as well.

 

[Werd]

Well, re-read what i posted. If you understand the depth of what i am saying about poeple REALLY knowing one another, this would include knowing one's self as well you will see how you fit perfectly in what i described, your ex as well.

Does anyone truly know one's self? Doesn't true enlightenment come through suffering? Our character is not define by our circumstances but rather by how WE CHOOSE to react.





Becoming a parent and allowing that child to "GROW YOU UP" is one of the most awesome blessings life has to offer IMHO.

 

[Werd]

Werd vs. Everyone. Round 29,873.

Ding.

LOL if you read the thread, you will see that there are MANY MEN that echo my Johny-come-lately response. And far more harshly at that.

 

[hooch]

I'm still waiting for BI's counterattack...

 

[Werd]

Honestly, I dont see how any of my comments could be construed as beligerent or an attack.

 

[gregory]

Does anyone truly know one's self? Doesn't true enlightenment come through suffering? Our character is not define by our circumstances but rather by how WE CHOOSE to react.

True and not true at the same time. Too much philosophy in there to dwell on this early in the morning thouh. The big question is what shapes what?

Becoming a parent and allowing that child to "GROW YOU UP" is one of the most awesome blessings life has to offer IMHO.

True.

 

[ripper2]

There you go assuming again.

Wow, you really are ignorant.

aren't you going to miss the bus?

 

[HG Pennypacker]

Most of you are making assumptions and have no idea what you're talking about. A lot of it depends on what state you're in. I'm in NY and I can tell you that the non-custodial parent has zero rights. There is no such thing as joint custody unless the custodial parent agrees to it, which most won't, since they then lose control.

With daycare, I pay over $2100 a month (which includes daycare) to my ex for my son. I make a good living. I'm not doing to dispute that. But my ex makes the same, if not more, than me. She's a director at a very large brokerage firm.

Here are my issues with the support system:

1) If i'm supporting my son, which I have been since the day his mother and I broke up, I should have rights in making decisions in his life.
2) The courts should consider the income level of the custodial parent. I have a wife and two other kids to support. My ex has none, plus she's remarried. I have no problem providing a more than comfortable lifestyle for my son, but I don't think my two daughters should have to suffer as a result.

My advice would be to tell him to pay the money and accept it. If he tries to go to court again, he could get stuck with a judge that makes him pay more. There are apprarently guidelines with this stuff, but many judges don't follow. I have a cousin who is a lawyer and went back to court to have his support reduced and got stuck with a female judge who increased his support by an additional 30%.