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Friend got raped for child support, what can he do?
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Razorguns
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this is how courts work:
1) women always gets the kid. even after slutting around, and spending all his money and doing nothing.
2) guy gets ass-raped on child support, so the woman can spend all the money on herself and her new bf and friends (how about making the woman account for that money every 3 months?)
3) if the guy is forbidden from seing the kid and complains to the cops. Big deal. Deal with it. Good luck getting "enforcement" to see the kid or any charges against the mom.
Shit like that really discourages me from having kids or getting married. I've seen more than enuff child custody battles from the sidelines. No wonder so many people are gay. So much less drama.
1) women always gets the kid. even after slutting around, and spending all his money and doing nothing.
2) guy gets ass-raped on child support, so the woman can spend all the money on herself and her new bf and friends (how about making the woman account for that money every 3 months?)
3) if the guy is forbidden from seing the kid and complains to the cops. Big deal. Deal with it. Good luck getting "enforcement" to see the kid or any charges against the mom.
Shit like that really discourages me from having kids or getting married. I've seen more than enuff child custody battles from the sidelines. No wonder so many people are gay. So much less drama.
Razorguns said:
Well, part of this reason is that the ladies go to court ready for battle. The guys just usually "show up" and hope for fairness. There are ways to do this and has been done in the past, plenty of single dad's out there. I didn't say it's easy, but certainly not impossible.
I know of guys who pay child support on the order of $800.00 every 2 weeks. They tell me, that their Ex lives with her NEW boyfriend (which is her perrogative) and he pays for rent and food, they both work and all the child support money goes for going out and parties and a better life style. Burns him up, but what are you going to do? If she sees him as not putting up, she'll easily use the kids against him and destroy any chance of fatherhood for him.
Werd
New member
GREGORY said:
If anybody has real world experience it is ME....
I am not even going there about my opinion about BI's friend because my opinion is just that: an opinion. I am not about to engage in some flamefest about what I FEEL his friend should/should not do about his situation because in the end, his friend's situation will not be affected one iota and I have serious problems of my own. If anyone knows about getting fucked when it comes to divorce, childsupport and having your children illegally held from you:
IT IS ME.
I am only about the exchange of useful information. So far on this thread, I have seen none.
Werd said:
I never had a flame war with you.
BTW: I said 75%, so you case might be different, but i did mention that some men can and do fight this system. But no matter who wins the kid looses, no longer will there be a balanced family for the child to grow up with. I wish more parents REALLY got to know each other down to their cores. Too many people get married not RELLY knowing the person, and later on lo and behold there are suprises and tension builds then the relationship fails. Why? Simple. The 2 people no longer like one another, one or both fronted. it's that simple, IMO.
GoldenDelicious
New member
how much money the money makes is none of the fathers business. if anything, the more she makes, the happier he should be, since chances are his kid is getting a better looking after.
if the mother is in fact being legally fraudulent in her statement of expenses, then your friend should gather as much data as he is able, and get it brought before the courts with a decent lawyer. it may afect the payment he has to make.
overall, though, bottom line is that your friend makes a fairly poor living. given his circumstances, it would probably be better for him to figure out how to earn more money, rather than figure out how to deny a poor amount of money from his ex- regardless of whether he/she is in the right/wrong.
if he wants to stoop to the same level as his ex (as per overstatement of expenses) then getting a second job off the books would counter that rather effectively, though will mean he will break the law
cheers
if the mother is in fact being legally fraudulent in her statement of expenses, then your friend should gather as much data as he is able, and get it brought before the courts with a decent lawyer. it may afect the payment he has to make.
overall, though, bottom line is that your friend makes a fairly poor living. given his circumstances, it would probably be better for him to figure out how to earn more money, rather than figure out how to deny a poor amount of money from his ex- regardless of whether he/she is in the right/wrong.
if he wants to stoop to the same level as his ex (as per overstatement of expenses) then getting a second job off the books would counter that rather effectively, though will mean he will break the law
cheers
Werd
New member
GREGORY said:
Not saying a flame war with you personally, mon ami. Just w/anyone on the board in general.
As for your assessment of why relationships fail I must humbly disagree. I never fronted, nor did my ex. The problems arose when I no longer wanted to put up with abuse. He refused to recognize his shortcomings as I most certainly began to recognize mine. Believe it or not even after all that occured our marriage COULD have been saved, or at least we could have maintained a good relationship for the common good of our children. However, it will never be as my ex is so deeply mired in denial that the only hope my kids have for any sort of real father is my sister's husband and if I chose to remarry.
Two shrinks and my current man have been in awe when I had finally confided all the abuse that I had suffered as a child and young adult. The are amazed at how I am so "together" for someone who had suffered so many people fucking on her - key people that she should have been able to trust.
I never realized how abusive my ex was. That is the truth. When you are rasied with abuse it might take total devastation before you wake up and realize that something just isn't right and it takes a lot of hard work to try to mend that...
Everything began to turn around for me when I finally admitted to myself that I knowingly married and chose a MONSTER to father my only children.
I can't take back the past, but I certainly have the power to affect the future.
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