Feeling Stuck

[starfish]

I've been working really hard lately, on a lot of things that DON'T have to do with working out. I feel pulled in a hundred different directions. I work so hard in school, at the gym, on the lit magazine I work for here, and I don't think that anyone appreciates this work except for me.

I think that something about that "what is an acceptable bf% for your girlfriend thread" that made me feel pretty crappy. I'm good at ignoring the status quo, I have no problems feeling attractive, and I think I carry my "unacceptable" bf really well. I like looking at myself in the mirror, I have lots of wonderful friends, I love to date guys, etc, etc...

So will anyone every appreciate the work I do. I'm an athlete. I swim hard all the time, I bike, I run, I play volleyball. But to hear someone gently say "With a little hard work, you too could get down to this acceptable weight" makes me want to pull my hair uut. I ALREADY KNOW what hard work is.



So ladies, has anyone found a point in their lives where they were able to put all of this stuff behind them, at least partially? And if not, how do YOU deal with it?

I suppose I just want to know that somebody feels the same way. I'm not sad about this, as much as I am frustrated.

I saw that bodyfat thread.. Those guys were being a little unrealistic.Their ideal partner has 8% bodyfat... Whatever.. Those guys would drool over you and you know it

 

[ladymacbeth]

whoops! I posted the above twice, so I'll just edit this for my next post so y'all don't have to read the same thing twice...

All I have to say is wow, I think I really got some good advice. I think that I have a hard time expressing my frustration to my friends, because once I get around them, it partially disappears, and I think that it's gone. So it was really nice to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I suppose that might be a little arrogant to think that way, but I was just having a cruddy day...but, I suppose we all do

I would love to comment on everyone's post, but most of it really doesn't need comment.

.

 

[polarpixie]

I guess what you wrote really hits home for me, because
A.) I've felt the same on many many occasions.
B.) It's taken me a long time to come to grips with my body the way it is and not hate it soooo much because I'm not a stick. and so
C.) If there's any insight I can offer on the subject to help someone else, I am more than happy to share my struggles and experiences.

LadyM, the most important thing I'd like to stress to you is this: I think it's fantastic that you are doing all of these wonderful things, i.e., all the volunteer work, all the sports and training, and you need to never forget that you are doing these things because they make YOU HAPPY and good about YOURSELF, and never stop appreciating your own hard work.

It's apparent, that most, if not all of us enjoy getting some recognition for all of our hard work, but at some point in our lives, I hope everyone comes to realize that there is a great satisfaction in seeking that recognition from within yourself, rather than from someone else. In other words, don't feel so bad that others are too self-absorbed to applaud your efforts. Applaud your own efforts, that should be your status quo, your vanilla ice cream. Recognition from others should be an unexpected surprise, your rainbow jimmies with fudge and cherries on top of your vanilla ice cream.

Just keep doing whatever you are doing, as long as you are gaining something positive from it, whether it be something that's contributing to your ultimate goal, or something that makes you feel happy and good about yourself. Cut out the extraneous things that takes a negative toll on you.

Like Starfish said, that stupid ideal BF% in your girlfriend thread is a load of shit. Alot of them have no idea what they are talking about, and they do not realize that while 25% BF for a guy means a beer gut, a girl can still look fantastic and have a nice shape at that same bf%. Also, several of those who responded to that thread are still in high school.

Ignore those, 'with a little help' people. Work out, live healthy, keep your BF a healthy level, and as long as you do that, you should always be able to be proud of and love the way you look, even if others think you need 'a little help'. You can only work out as hard as you are able to fit it in to your life, and still enjoy it, and live a happy, balanced life.

I hope that helped.

 

[smallmovesal]

don't listen to those guys on that thread... until it was said, they had no idea that male bf% was different from female bf%...

that being said, i think there were a lot of good suggestions here... you have to think of yourself first sometimes... trust me, it's a learned skill i have yet to master.

pix... coming from a skinny girl... i get the "gain some weight girl" comments... so i felt slightly pressured to gain weight even though i was at my natural weight. not to say that gaining the muscle wasn't fun - i'm loving it - but i wasn't unhappy my size and it hurt to hear comments about it.

oh, and pix d) spaghetti

 

[ladymacbeth]

Thank you all so much, you truly helped, and your comments made my day...now back to work...

To everyone---->

 

[new@gettinbig]

Sorry to break the news but in the real world...you will not always get the credit you deserve nor will you get treated the way you should all the time....that is life...bottom line...do things for yourself...to achieve your own personal goals you set for yourself....dont worry about if others approve or appreciate you....you will only be wasting your time and energy...We all burn candles at both ends...I am a single mom, work full time, go to school full time, train, and compete...blah blah blah...we all got our stories...we all get burnt out..its part of life and you just get through it and do what you can with what you got...that is ALL you can do...Your bodyfat is your thing...its your body...dont worry what others think...what are you comfortable at??? They do not walk in your shoes....bodyfat does not make the person...some men love lean women...others like em w/ some meat on them...who cares who are u trying to please?? Yourself...that should be your answer...only yourself and no one else. Dont worry about any other bull shit...u just add stress to your life and cause unhappiness...just be and let the small shit go..

 

[dballer]

I don't make any money at the magazine, it's all volunteer work. I do a lot of volunteer work. I'm a college student. I don't really feel like I need very much money, I never have. I would like a pat on the back I suppose. But I know in the real world, that's just not possible.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm running on empty, and it's those times that I'm most sensitive to the "with a little hard work" kind of stuff. Nobody ever seems to tell anyone else that they're just doing a good job.

you do a great job of making the pizzone disappear!!!!

hahahahahaha

 

[dballer]

oh yeah... I am looking for a skeleton with about 6-8% bodyfat for a forcefeeding test I am doing. hahahahahaa

GIRLS.. at least for me.. ideal bodyfat is in the high teens-mid-twenties.

if your bodyfat is lower than 10%.. you will look like a holocaust survivor.

Ladymacbeth... you are just fine the way you are.. now go eat a pizzone with sausage.

 

[polarpixie]

don't listen to those guys on that thread... until it was said, they had no idea that male bf% was different from female bf%...

that being said, i think there were a lot of good suggestions here... you have to think of yourself first sometimes... trust me, it's a learned skill i have yet to master.

pix... coming from a skinny girl... i get the "gain some weight girl" comments... so i felt slightly pressured to gain weight even though i was at my natural weight. not to say that gaining the muscle wasn't fun - i'm loving it - but i wasn't unhappy my size and it hurt to hear comments about it.

oh, and pix d) spaghetti

D. SPAGHETTI!!!! YOU ARE CORRECT!!!!!! Hehe...I think that will be my answer to everything for the rest of today.

That's funny that I picked 25%, I just reread that thread and what you wrote.

I think everyone gets 'something' to one degree or another, everyone would tell me I was 'fine', and did not need to diet. Yes, I was 'fine' except for I was flabby and I knew I didn't feel good about it. Everyone made me feel guilty about wanting to improve my body.


Dballer, as usual doll, you always know what to say.

 

[ladymacbeth]

Everyone made me feel guilty about wanting to improve my body.

Yes, I think this was one of the main problems I've been having as well...my friends are lovely, but they don't work out, so they have kind of a approach to whenever I even say I'm going to the gym "again" (didn't you just go yesterday?).

I guess what it comes down to is that people will try to make you feel guilty for not improving yourself, and they'll try to make you feel guilty for it, and I really just have to get over listening to them.

There are some great posts on here, very insightful, and I hope y'all read them.

New@, I thought I was cynical girl!! I do think that there is a point when others can be appreciative of you, with sincerity, but I think that it's something that comes with maturity. Most of the people I meet on a college campus, especially in the gym, aren't out to make me feel GOOD about myself. I agree with much of what you said, but I also think that there is hope for people to be supportive of one another...AND I of course agree with Mom when she said "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself"