Ever feel like you missed your calling?

[Stryker1992]

Warning, long post alert. I'm also going to be opening up about some private stuff, so be gentle. I don't care if you all know how effed up I am lol, but please don't make a joke about it, ok?

When I was younger for a long time I wanted to be a psychologist. I've always been a helper and a giver, and I've always been "that person" that people come to for advice, or just an ear. I think the talent or whatever of mine that I am most proud of is my ability to empathize and understand exactly what a person needs in the moments they are hurting. Various things I've been through have only deepened that awareness. The problem is, when I'm empathizing, I'm genuinely hurting with that person. It makes me suffer to see people suffer. So I stepped away from that game plan because I felt like all I would be miserable all the time, taking every patients problems home with me. I also questioned my ability to be objective, which I think is really important in those situations. If you get emotional, I don't know how much you're going to be able to provide clarity and guidance.

Sooooo I went to a soulless profession instead, something I was damn good at, but got nothing out of....and wouldn't you know it, I was miserable all the time anyway lol. Doing something that had no real value to the world but made me a whole lot of money left me feeling empty. I tried to fill that space with people, with an eating disorder, with staying as busy as possible, with scuba diving...and the end result was burn out at 28. Quit my job, bought a house I could rent out, moved to the beach, did nothing but dive, go to church, socialize. All well and good when things are peachy...

Then I hit a wall last winter. Not going to go into it, but something happened and I just....crashed. Hard. I fully relapsed with my eating disorder, among other things, and shut down on everyone. The last month or so I finally started crawling out of that hole....I'm in an outpatient treatment program, I'm reconnecting with friends and family, I'm starting to put one foot in front of the other, and in the process I'm starting to question the direction of my life again (or rather, I'm recognizing that the whole dive bum thing was really just an intermission).

This past weekend I had a couple of things bring me back to the therapy thing. The first was in my friday group for outpatient, one of the group leaders was an intern who was leaving, so I went up to thank her for the brief time she was there. She said something to me that made me break down in tears...she told me that in the one week I've been there, I've already made a huge positive impact on everyone else there. That she had never seen people react to someone and connect with someone so instantly as when I was sharing my story that first day, and that she was almost in tears when she left that day.

Then there was this little facebook interaction that almost made me lose my shit:

http://i54.tinypic.com/f36fit.jpg

(a friend of mine from hs who attempted suicide)

So I start thinking...about how as much as I hurt with someone who is hurting, nothing has ever been as fulfilling for me as being able to reach out and make that connection - and I've really actually been able to help a LOT of people (I also used to volunteer at a crisis center). I'm not sure if it's because of how alone I've felt at times with my own demons, I don't know if it's because it allows me to take some pretty next level shit that's gone down in my life and make it a positive (therefore taking some of the randomness out of life), I don't know if it's reconnecting with my faith and the general ideals of receiving a gift and then spreading it out to others in need (no religious debate in the thread pleaaaase). I can point to two or three very specific people at every moment in my life who has gotten me through, and it's always been someone who has been there who was able to reach through that wall like it was made of air and pull me out.

So basically I'm thinking once I get my shit straight (which might take some time, got derailed pretty badly), I'm gonna see what it will take to get into a masters program for something in that field. Something that would get me working with kids, teenagers maybe. Wouldn't have to be eating disorder specific, but I could probably be most useful there, especially given how resistant most young girls are to accepting and facing those issues. (not to mention how many people are in that field who have never had an eating disorder....I got some of the worst guidance with that from those types. Not saying you HAVE to have been there to reach people, but the only people who have ever really helped me have been people who were there at one point and got past it)

Rant over. Not sure where to take this thread....I just needed to vent really. You can either respond to my post or offer your own story of your life shifting focus and finding fulfillment in that new focus.

I am a psychologist....

 

[AFeedz]

Awww, Nef. I definitely sympathize with you. You've always seemed like "a helper" to me. You were listening to my (now stupid) problems my first week around here and I think some type of social work would be an awesome job for you and one you'd be good at.

That being said, last year I started a non profit that helps girls under 18 (purposely vague description). If you're interested, shoot me a PM and I'll give you some details and maybe we can try to work something out if you want a trial run on how you'd enjoy/be fulfilled by that type of thing.

P.S. Not that this ever helps, but you're beautiful, girl.

 

[uamaverick]

P.S. Not that this ever helps, but you're beautiful, girl.

Not as hot as Gonzo shnoz girl, according to jiggagold.

 

[bigpokey]

dam i always wanted to be a psychologist that's what i always said i wanted to do then i fukn sold out and got a fukn finance degree thinkin that was my best chance at ballin and now i have no interest in joining corporate america... pwnt myself real good

UAMAV nigga u might be kinda smart for a racist u should look into options and futures trading its way more fun than investin in stock and u get a lot more leverage, u can get a practice account too at thinkorswim, i doubled my practice account three times and then tried investin 5k and lost it in like 8 months LOL

 

[samoth]

Yeah. Sometimes I wish I had gone into finance, where's there stress, pressure, long hours, and people in your face yelling at you. (For those of us that like that kind of environment.)

And if I was in finance, I'd wish I had gone into science, where I'd be doing something objectively meaningful, working for a lifestyle company that actually allows you to have a life outside of work, hobbies, friends and family.



It's, like, things reflect different wavelengths of light when viewed from different angles of incidence or something, man.

 

[uamaverick]

dam i always wanted to be a psychologist that's what i always said i wanted to do then i fukn sold out and got a fukn finance degree thinkin that was my best chance at ballin and now i have no interest in joining corporate america... pwnt myself real good

UAMAV nigga u might be kinda smart for a racist u should look into options and futures trading its way more fun than investin in stock and u get a lot more leverage, u can get a practice account too at thinkorswim, i doubled my practice account three times and then tried investin 5k and lost it in like 8 months LOL

I never trade with blacks, that's the first rule of investing.

 

[calveless wonder]

I don't tbink you can ever miss your calling nef, not at our age-ish.

Most people go through life not having their calling.

To be honest, I have had the same thoughts about being psychologist he last few years for the same reasons you stated. But what I came to as a middle ground was being a life coach, like a Tony Robbins type dude but specifically for men and the stuff they deal with with women, in business and fitness etc. That is my ultimate dream, but I will engage in that when I have the credentials. I need to have a wildly successful business, some more years of growth, and a large enough reserve to be able to launch a venture like that. I look at it as a chapter in my life in the future.

That's the thing, life moves in chapters and all that experience makes a difference.
Let me warn you though about psychology because after speaking to psychiatrists and psychologists in private practice I can tell you one thing. When you first start out especially with only a master's as opposed to a PHD, you're gonna most likely have to work with people with serious mental issues. The people in the field I've talked to says that is the worst part because these people are so far gone, and some can even be violent. A lot of them went to private practice because of that so that their patients were generally good, successful people just with certain problems. Just realize also that sometimes what you ideally imagine a job to be does not manage the reality of it. My realization in that aspect was when I was a personal trainer. Good in theory, not so much in practice and any job can be that way.

So it's never too late. The experiences you had led you to this point and making a career change now is not a bad thing in the slightest. You should embrace change because that is just the essence of life. It is constantly evolving, and you need to look at it as an exciting opportunity. Most people are not lucky enough to even be in a position to do what they love or are made for because they're too worry about feedin themselves or their kids.

 

[digimon7068]

it seems to me that you are still in a fairly emotional state...not a good time to make life changes (imho)...give yourself a bit more time to find your level, then make the decision with your head AND your heart

 

[lartinos]

I felt that way everyday when I was working a dead end job.

 

[PICK3]

Job outlook may differ from various specialty areas within psychology. The U.S. Department of Labor suggests that job opportunities will be the most plentiful for those with doctoral degrees in applied specialty areas such as counseling or health psychology.

School psychology is also cited as an area that will experience strong growth in the coming years, as awareness of the mental health needs of children increases. As issues such as behavior problems, bullying and learning disorders become more prominent, the demand for qualified school psychologists will go up.

Job Outlook for Psychologists