Email from one of my friends to his girlfriend - PUSSY alert

[Allon]

man you lack a sense of humour. Also you seem to lack the knowledge that Lestat and myself are fine with each other. We have a virtual karma war ongoing. See my above comment about reasons to post here. One of them being for funny stuff. And karma wars sure are funny.

 

[Spanky11]

i currently have a friend like that...unfortunately he is my best man at my wedding next weekend...i asked him before he met his current gf. and of course she has to come along...

she doesn't drink - that in itself makes me a little nervous. anyone who doesn't drink makes me not want to be around them when i have a drink my hand.

we are having it in italy, and she told me "i don't need to drink to relax, and i prefer my tea"...wtf. i then asked him if she give a hot tea BJ, and he looked me dead in the eye, and said "she refuses to do that".

he use to be the man, and now she has netuered him...sad reall, really sad.

 

[KillahBee]

man you lack a sense of humour. Also you seem to lack the knowledge that Lestat and myself are fine with each other. We have a virtual karma war ongoing. See my above comment about reasons to post here. One of them being for funny stuff. And karma wars sure are funny.

Man, you are dead on balls accurate - I don't have a sense of humor. And you are right, I do lack the "knowledge" of you and lestat and your homoerotic banter. I actually do not even know who you are. Never read a post by you. That's why I had to search for your threads.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Long story made short - grew up with this kid, one of my best friends. he met some girl that was NOTHING like any girl we ever expected him to be with and BOOM - he turns gay. We have all seen this happen, but this kid made the most extreme transition to gay that I have ever seen in my life. Lost all respect for him and pretty much don't keep in touch with him anymore - I can't even stand to look at the kid. He is the complete bitch in the relationship, the likes I have never seen. Here is an email that got forwarded to me (don't ask...) from him to his girl

Hihunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Hun i am starting to really miss you. I mean, I pretty much missed even

before you left, but now I REALLY Miss you! I can't wait till you are
back
so I can give you a big squeeze! Having Lexi (her little fucking Paris Hilton gay fucking dog) around to sort of remind me
of
you all the time is good, but without you here I feel like my better
half is
gone! oh hunnnnnn
Hun, I actually did use your car last night! It
was
fun, i guess
Hun, I think you tried to call me the other day. I answered the phone
and
there was no one there, and then you didn't call back. Oh well. Should
I
try to call the number you gave me? I have thought about it, but I
figured
there is no chance I would catch you.
I am sad that we haven't talked in a few days. You didn't meet some
Italian
guy did you? I hope not....oh what a terrible thought....I would be
so
crushed!
Welllllllllllll...I am going to go to bed I think... Lexi is barking at
something.... ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I love you.


THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE AND WANT TO HURT PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS.

i cant believe that someone is capable of writing that...its gotta be a fucking joke, unless shes atilla theres no reason to be adressing her as hunnn so much wtf.

if i was in his shoes id be like,

"dear girly,

i miss you alot, i hope u miss me, im really horny too im gunna beat off alot so i don thave to cheat on u hope u dont mind,

your dog wont ever shut the fuck up, but its nice though cause it reminds me alot of you

oh, and i drove your car

love,
me

PS: if you met an italian and are cheating on me, you, him, and your dog, are dead....

PSS: your dog was already dead when i got home from work, i swear

 

[Sub-Zero]

lol, I had one guy once who he and his gf routinely refereed to each other as 'schmoopy' in public, i remember a situation where they were sharing some fries and debated for a good 10 minutes over who should have the last one both insisting the other should have it and starting and ending everthing they said with the word 'schmoopy'

I hate when people suddenly become an unseperable package so if you invite one they bring fatty mctagalong with them.

dont you mean seinfeld you fucking liar

 

[Sub-Zero]

Man, you are dead on balls accurate - I don't have a sense of humor. And you are right, I do lack the "knowledge" of you and lestat and your homoerotic banter. I actually do not even know who you are. Never read a post by you. That's why I had to search for your threads.

watching you and allon argue is more pathetic than reading the email you just posted

you both suck at e-arguements,. im going to have to lock this thread, sorry

 

[CENTURION44]

am i only only one who read that whole thing in my head with a geigh voice....

 

[Spanky11]

your dog wont ever shut the fuck up, but its nice though cause it reminds me alot of you

that was funny.

Now post a pic of your aunt.

 

[Sub-Zero]

that was funny.

Now post a pic of your aunt.

mix between
http://home.cshore.com/bucwheat/2k5/jabba.jpg
and
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/040929/040929_fat_actress_bcol.vlarge.jpg

 

[tuc biscuit]

dont you mean seinfeld you fucking liar

no the word schmoopy was used in both cases virgin