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don't send me porn...
...when i'm not home, of course.
nothing is worse than sitting in your physics lab and opening a link someone sent you, because it is "the fuckin' funniest thing EVER", and having it turn out to be porn.
ok, normally this wouldn't be a bad thing. but when you are sitting next to an extreme, dread-locked, androgynous-looking, angry feminist, who would gladly castrate a monk, for simply being male, chances are bad things can and will happen.
the last thing i need is for her to be 'offended' and file a report against me. as much as i enjoy trying new things, being brought before the CU-Boulder school board, inquisition style, packed to the gills with angry, liberal, neo-marxist, vegan, members of the local GLBT chapter who all have an axe to grind; this doesn't seem like it will be a fun time.
confessing my 'sins' of intolerance before the CU high council will not result in redemption of any sort. It will not bring me peace or salvation; it would be capital punishment. incapacitated by indoctrination. death by diversity training.
sure, it is because these people cannot appreciate the fine subtelties found in such quality films like bukake bonanza, hamster hide-away, or yo quiero taco smell that we run into these problems. and how they get offended by the complexities found in the guy-on-Horse-on-leather-clad-midget genre, i surely do not know. how they do not have a refined enough thought pallette to admire the creativity involved in devising clever new ways in which to use billiard balls, KY-coated shampoo bottles, golf clubs, and television remote controls is completely beyond me.
and yet, despite all of the lack of understanding and intolerance on their part, it is i who must face demonization and the risk of being punished by my fine academic institution.
all of this because some of you continue to send me pictures, though worthy of being hung in the louvre, and movies, fitting for both academic and cinematic acclaim, while i should be working on physics.
so, i must ask this of you; please hold your excitement back when you see someone eating a tijuana ham salad, remain in control when veiwing links jam-packed with golden showers and kraft italian dressing enemas, and stay calm when you finally stumble upon that ol' macdonald and his barnyard pals orgy film you feel best defines you as a person.
ask where i am, who i am with, and whether or not i am in an appropriate setting before sending me links saying "you gotta see this, dude!!! Oh My GOD!!"
there is a time and place for that; a secluded area with plenty of ssun-tan lotion, paper-towels, and a non-judgemental friend, who can keep a secret; NOT my physics lab.
crimminy.
...when i'm not home, of course.
nothing is worse than sitting in your physics lab and opening a link someone sent you, because it is "the fuckin' funniest thing EVER", and having it turn out to be porn.
ok, normally this wouldn't be a bad thing. but when you are sitting next to an extreme, dread-locked, androgynous-looking, angry feminist, who would gladly castrate a monk, for simply being male, chances are bad things can and will happen.
the last thing i need is for her to be 'offended' and file a report against me. as much as i enjoy trying new things, being brought before the CU-Boulder school board, inquisition style, packed to the gills with angry, liberal, neo-marxist, vegan, members of the local GLBT chapter who all have an axe to grind; this doesn't seem like it will be a fun time.
confessing my 'sins' of intolerance before the CU high council will not result in redemption of any sort. It will not bring me peace or salvation; it would be capital punishment. incapacitated by indoctrination. death by diversity training.
sure, it is because these people cannot appreciate the fine subtelties found in such quality films like bukake bonanza, hamster hide-away, or yo quiero taco smell that we run into these problems. and how they get offended by the complexities found in the guy-on-Horse-on-leather-clad-midget genre, i surely do not know. how they do not have a refined enough thought pallette to admire the creativity involved in devising clever new ways in which to use billiard balls, KY-coated shampoo bottles, golf clubs, and television remote controls is completely beyond me.
and yet, despite all of the lack of understanding and intolerance on their part, it is i who must face demonization and the risk of being punished by my fine academic institution.
all of this because some of you continue to send me pictures, though worthy of being hung in the louvre, and movies, fitting for both academic and cinematic acclaim, while i should be working on physics.
so, i must ask this of you; please hold your excitement back when you see someone eating a tijuana ham salad, remain in control when veiwing links jam-packed with golden showers and kraft italian dressing enemas, and stay calm when you finally stumble upon that ol' macdonald and his barnyard pals orgy film you feel best defines you as a person.
ask where i am, who i am with, and whether or not i am in an appropriate setting before sending me links saying "you gotta see this, dude!!! Oh My GOD!!"
there is a time and place for that; a secluded area with plenty of ssun-tan lotion, paper-towels, and a non-judgemental friend, who can keep a secret; NOT my physics lab.
crimminy.
