Does SEX play a big role .............................

[gregory]

Let's say I'm married to someone to which we have a healthy emotional and sexual relationship with and on the night of our 20th anniversary we're in a car wreck and he's paralyzed from the waist down,I'm not going walk away from him just because he "can't get it up" anymore.

Being interested in your long term partner's sexual happiness (not just your own) is also an act of affection because you are considerate of your partner's feelings.

On the other hand, you can have great sex with a person that you have absolutely no emotional connection to, is there affection, depends, the best lovers tend to want to please and that doesn't have to be affection it's just a characteristic of being a great lover.

Not sure I'm expressing what I'm trying to say here but it seems to me that with healthy long term relationships there is a certain amount of loyalty and to just abandon someone because they can no longer physically please you sexually (not by choice) seems well, selfish. So therefore if I found myself in that situation I would be content with that person's affection (affection not limited to a sexual acts).

Hope that makes sense.

OK, but what if you were together for say 3 years? Would that be different?

 

[velvett]

OK, but what if you were together for say 3 years? Would that be different?

no, I don't how it should.

 

[strongsmartsexy]

So if sex so incredibly important to everyone, what would happen if your soulmate fell ill and could not have sex? Or suffered with a complete irreversivble loss of desire? What would happen to your soulmate then? Would he/she still be your soulmate? From the respnses here i guess eveyrone would move on in short order, and that would unmask the shallowness of the relationship in the first place, shallowness that was masked and dressed up with fake love and promises.

I don't believe in the notion of a soul mate at all. With that being said, there is a significant difference from someone withholding sex in a relationship and sexual incapacity due to illness or accident.

Now, is what you're saying is that the sexually healthy part of that relationship should be without sex because of an artificial line drawn at a static point in time? Is the incapacitated person in that relationship any less shallow and fake for holding that person to their incapacity?

 

[strongsmartsexy]

Let's say I'm married to someone to which we have a healthy emotional and sexual relationship with and on the night of our 20th anniversary we're in a car wreck and he's paralyzed from the waist down,I'm not going walk away from him just because he "can't get it up" anymore.

Being interested in your long term partner's sexual happiness (not just your own) is also an act of affection because you are considerate of your partner's feelings.

On the other hand, you can have great sex with a person that you have absolutely no emotional connection to, is there affection, depends, the best lovers tend to want to please and that doesn't have to be affection it's just a characteristic of being a great lover.

Not sure I'm expressing what I'm trying to say here but it seems to me that with healthy long term relationships there is a certain amount of loyalty and to just abandon someone because they can no longer physically please you sexually (not by choice) seems well, selfish. So therefore if I found myself in that situation I would be content with that person's affection (affection not limited to a sexual acts).

Hope that makes sense.

Since relationships change and grow over time, would it be a good thing to redefine the bounds of this relationship to overcome the obstacles within it?

 

[Evil_Frisky]

You dont actually believe that do you?

 

[velvett]

Since relationships change and grow over time, would it be a good thing to redefine the bounds of this relationship to overcome the obstacles within it?

I'm not sure what you mean.

 

[strongsmartsexy]

I'm not sure what you mean.

Since an obtacle of sex, or lack of sex has arisen within the relationship, would you look to redefine what your relationship is to alot for this change instead of leaving the relationship?

 

[chesty]

sex plays a big part of a relationship. If she thinks he is bad she should try to figure out why. If she knows and has been honest and caring about it when talking to him they should seek some professional help. taking time apart will not work.

However, it is not everything You can have outstanding sex/love making and the relationship can still fail. It is a combination of many things, sex being a major player.

Maybe he is not reaching her on an emotional level. Woman are wired very different from men. They need to feel loved and safe with a man to be able to open up to him on the level required for satisifaction. Men, however, need about 3 minutes to get ready and 2 minutes to perform. For us it is a mechanical action, very little emotion. For woman it is more emotional than physical.

?sex with your x husband? before x or after?

 

[Evil_Frisky]

?sex with your x husband? before x or after?

Before, never after. When I made my X..that was it. It was great but, IMHO Sex isn't everything. The sex can be great and the emotional bond horrible. There has to be more there for me than SEX.. complete trust and understanding, a solid foundation and strong commitment. I've never had a one night stand in my life, for me there has to be more than the desire of fulfilment.

 

[chesty]

There is also the possibility that she is as much to blame as he is. If she isn't living up to her end in all areas of her life he will turn cold, much as she would if he was/is doing the same.

It takes two to foul things up especially after 12 years.