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Do you like kids

Kids or not????

  • Yes I love kids...And don't regret it at all.

    Votes: 14 45.2%

  • If I could do it over again, I would not have them.

    Votes: 2 6.5%

  • No way kids are not for me

    Votes: 6 19.4%

  • I love FREEDOM not parenthood

    Votes: 9 29.0%
  • Total voters
    31
BOWTECH

BOWTECH

New member
Question to everyone. I do not have kids and NEVER will. If you had the chance to do it all over again would you have children or would you opt not to.

Nothing against kids personally but I am a very selfish person and I do not have any children. I have been able to do the things in life I have always wanted and if I would have had children I wouln't have been able to experience these things.
 
I have 2 from my first marriage at no choice of mine. I have no contact with them though there adults anyway. I never wanted them and have never denied
not wanting them. They were a great inconvenience in my younger years and put me way behind the 8 ball financially because of it. Bitter your damn right.
 
i LOVE my own kids to death and wouldn't change a thing. most other kids kind of annoy me though.
 
Worst investment ever! It takes what seems like endless amounts of time to raise one. You put all this money into it, food/clothes/school/etc. You hope and pray they don't end up royally fucking something up. And after its all said and done, when they're old enough to make money... they leave!

Not the best of returns. I'll invest elsewhere thanks.
 
oldandconfused said:
I have 2 from my first marriage at no choice of mine. I have no contact with them though there adults anyway. I never wanted them and have never denied
not wanting them. They were a great inconvenience in my younger years and put me way behind the 8 ball financially because of it. Bitter your damn right.
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you sound like you were forced into procreating.
 
oldandconfused said:
I have 2 from my first marriage at no choice of mine. I have no contact with them though there adults anyway. I never wanted them and have never denied
not wanting them. They were a great inconvenience in my younger years and put me way behind the 8 ball financially because of it. Bitter your damn right.
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Jesus....

Were you present around them after birth for any period of time? If so, how long?

I call bullshit on the 'no choice' part... you did fuck her voluntarily, correct?
 
oldandconfused said:
I never wanted them and have never denied
not wanting them.
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i'm sure they're living happy and healthy lives, knowing this. It's nice to see you have your priorities straight though. :)
 
Smurfy said:
you sound like you were forced into procreating.
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she decided for us after a long discussion about waiting until we are more financially secure and our careers are on track.

I'm not a part in their life I was for 9years for my daughter and 6 years for my son. No I never treated them badly or they didn't do without but I was very bitter and still am.

No she got pregnant after we were married.
 
oldandconfused said:
she decided for us after a long discussion about waiting until we are more financially secure and our careers are on track.

I'm not a part in their life I was for 9years for my daughter and 6 years for my son. No I never treated them badly or they didn't do without but I was very bitter and still am.
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Dang. Not trying to be an ass, but that seems cold. You never really connected with them? Bonded with them, had love for them?


I didn't want kids or plan it, but I do have a girl and she melts my heart almost daily.
 
oldandconfused said:
she decided for us after a long discussion about waiting until we are more financially secure and our careers are on track.

I'm not a part in their life I was for 9years for my daughter and 6 years for my son. No I never treated them badly or they didn't do without but I was very bitter and still am.

No she got pregnant after we were married.
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so when they were 9 and 6, you just left them?

on your deathbed, will you look back at your life and feel it was filled with love, or regret and lonliness?
 
oldandconfused said:
she decided for us after a long discussion about waiting until we are more financially secure and our careers are on track.

I'm not a part in their life I was for 9years for my daughter and 6 years for my son. No I never treated them badly or they didn't do without but I was very bitter and still am.

No she got pregnant after we were married.
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k for the honesty.
 
jh1 said:
Dang. Not trying to be an ass, but that seems cold. You never really connected with them? Bonded with them, had love for them?


I didn't want kids or plan it, but I do have a girl and she melts my heart almost daily.
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No never really connected with them. I was far to young and far to wild to have kids.
My mom sends me pictures of them every once and a while, just a reminder but gave up on trying to make me have a relationship with them about 10 years ago when I cut ties from her for bitching at me all the time about them. She finally got the hint. So it's something that's not really discussed among us.
 
oldandconfused said:
No never really connected with them. I was far to young and far to wild to have kids.
My mom sends me pictures of them every once and a while, just a reminder but gave up on trying to make me have a relationship with them about 10 years ago when I cut ties from her for bitching at me all the time about them. She finally got the hint. So it's something that's not really discussed among us.
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How old are you now?

How old were you when you had them?
 
oldandconfused said:
she decided for us after a long discussion about waiting until we are more financially secure and our careers are on track.

I'm not a part in their life I was for 9years for my daughter and 6 years for my son. No I never treated them badly or they didn't do without but I was very bitter and still am.

No she got pregnant after we were married.
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weird situation.
i feel bad for those kids.
they didnt ask to be brought into this world
but your decision will have negative consequences for them
that's fucked up
 
stilleto said:
so when they were 9 and 6, you just left them?

on your deathbed, will you look back at your life and feel it was filled with love, or regret and lonliness?
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I regret one thing in my life. Sounds stupid but I allowed my peers to influence me once in my life on a decision that has bothered me all my life and will never let anyone have that power again.

loneliness, we all have moments.
 
oldandconfused said:
No never really connected with them. I was far to young and far to wild to have kids.
My mom sends me pictures of them every once and a while, just a reminder but gave up on trying to make me have a relationship with them about 10 years ago when I cut ties from her for bitching at me all the time about them. She finally got the hint. So it's something that's not really discussed among us.
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you're not young anymore.

was your life really great without them? because i bet if you had kept them in your life, they'd be your greatest accomplishment and source of happiness now.

that's really disturbing- both for the kind of character that shows in you, and for your kids who have to know that their father didn't love them.

i appreciate your honesty, so i hope you don't mind mine- i think you've really fucked up.
 
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our twins (7 year old girls) are in vitro kids. . .miracles of modern science. . .a lot of the shit we went through was not covered by insurance. . .they cost us around $50K. . .out of pocket. . .in hindsight, i'd have paid a cool mill. . .

our son. . .my surprise 41st birthday present (the fertility fairy decided to visit me at 40). . .was a gift from God. . .he was born 3 days before my 41st birthday. . .the best birthday present of my life. . .he filled a hole in my life that i didn't even know was there until he was born. . .my dreams for the future have changed forever. . .

at breakfast with santa december 2006. . .

33ynnll.jpg
 
stilleto said:
you're not young anymore.

was your life really great without them? because i bet if you had kept them in your life, they'd be your greatest accomplishment and source of happiness now.

that's really disturbing- both for the kind of character that shows in you, and for your kids who have to know that their father didn't love them.

i appreciate your honesty, so i hope you don't mind mine- i think you've really fucked up.
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I don't feel that way at all. I have a great wife all the freedom I enjoy and still accomplish new goals of interest every year.
As per character I am a light switch. Hot or cold to people that's a reality.
 
jnevin said:
Some normally non-judgmental people in here swinging the gavel like crazy.
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guilty as charged and not ashamed of it.

sorry, i don't have sympathy for a man who abandons his kids and never wants to see them or hear about them again.
think about the respect you'd feel for your own dad if he did that to you.
 
stilleto said:
guilty as charged and not ashamed of it.

sorry, i don't have sympathy for a man who abandons his kids and never wants to see them or hear about them again.
think about the respect you'd feel for your own dad if he did that to you.
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He did! He chose my step monster over me at age 11 threw me out of the house. and the circle comes around.
 
oldandconfused said:
He did! He chose my step monster over me at age 11 threw me out of the house. and the circle comes around.
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well good.
you had the chance to be a better man than him and instead, you did the same to your own kids. they must have deserved it as much as you did.

bravo.
 
stilleto said:
guilty as charged and not ashamed of it.

sorry, i don't have sympathy for a man who abandons his kids and never wants to see them or hear about them again.
think about the respect you'd feel for your own dad if he did that to you.
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He kind of did and my mom beat us almost every night until I was in 8th grade. You love your kids, and I think that's more amazing than anything in the world. From how I came up, not being a part of their lives is better than taking away from it in other ways. I almost feel more uncomfortable in really close family situations than I do in distant ones. Maybe that's why I go home to see family every 5 years, I don't know. It's probably why I stuck with a dog instead of kids too. Personally, I won't have them until I know I can be perfect. i won't do what my mom did.
 
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stilleto said:
well good.
you had the chance to be a better man than him and instead, you did the same to your own kids. they must have deserved it as much as you did.

bravo.
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So the result of a woman deciding the rest of a life for a person affects 2 others.
I don't carry any guilt about it. I laid my cards down and that's the way it is.
 
jnevin said:
He kind of did and my mom beat us almost every night until I was in 8th grade. You love your kids, and I think that's more amazing than anything in the world. From how I came up, not being a part of their lives is better than taking away from it in other ways. I almost feel more uncomfortable in really close family situations than I do in distant ones. Maybe that's why I go home to see family every 5 years, I don't know. It's probably why I stuck with a dog instead of kids too. Personally, I won't have them until I know I can be perfect. i won't do what my mom did.
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the fact that you already recognize that the way you lived was not right, is about 90% of the battle imho. . .
 
jnevin said:
He kind of did and my mom beat us almost every night until I was in 8th grade. You love your kids, and I think that's more amazing than anything in the world. From how I came up, not being a part of their lives is better than taking away from it in other ways. I almost feel more uncomfortable in really close family situations than I do in distant ones. Maybe that's why I go home to see family every 5 years, I don't know. It's probably why I stuck with a dog instead of kids too. Personally, I won't have them until I know I can be perfect. i won't do what my mom did.
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Well said.
 
Where are all the haters....lol This poll is falling to those who love kids.....JK Everybody has their own opinion THATS THE BEAUTY OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
 
jnevin said:
Scares the hell out of me.
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that's 5 of the remaining 10%. . .that's the part that makes you work at it. . .fear of failure is healthy if it's managed properly and kept in perspective. . .
 
The main destruction of the marriage was the insecurity of my x wife who wouldn't get it through her thick skull when enough is enough.
Also not getting the fact I was to young and not ready for the commitment that would come with kids.
I was 19 for heaven sakes barely out of puberty and she wanted kids.
 
BOWTECH said:
Where are all the haters....lol This poll is falling to those who love kids.....JK Everybody has their own opinion THATS THE BEAUTY OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
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can I vote more than once.lol
 
blueta2 said:
ok, the yes side is winning. Come on kid haters, cast your vote to get us in the lead
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I think maybe one day I'll be ready, but most peoples' kids drive me insane to the point of wishing I had a catapult to the Lord of the Flies island or some shit.
 
jnevin said:
He kind of did and my mom beat us almost every night until I was in 8th grade. You love your kids, and I think that's more amazing than anything in the world. From how I came up, not being a part of their lives is better than taking away from it in other ways. I almost feel more uncomfortable in really close family situations than I do in distant ones. Maybe that's why I go home to see family every 5 years, I don't know. It's probably why I stuck with a dog instead of kids too. Personally, I won't have them until I know I can be perfect. i won't do what my mom did.
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i do love my kids, of course, but don't think i grew up with wally and june cleaver.
i was left alone overnight from the time i was 9.

i don't even really like other kids, as I said. I never have. having two kids was so hard for me- i rarely had anyone to talk to when i was growing up- then i suddenly had TWO kids who depended on me and wouldn't be quiet for days or hours or even minutes like i'd want. but, i loved them to death since the minute they were born and would walk to the ends of the earth for them. Just because I didn't have that growing up, doesn't mean i should treat my own kids the same way.
jnev, i understand not wanting kids, of course. but they are still humans and if you have them, especially two, with a wife (not a one night stand who lied about the pill or whatever), then you can hate being a father but love your kids.
not even loving them or wanting to know about them though? that's the ultimate in selfishness.

i'm not going to post on this thread anymore. I made my point and don't want to say what i'm thinking to oldandconfused.
 
oldandconfused said:
The main destruction of the marriage was the insecurity of my x wife who wouldn't get it through her thick skull when enough is enough.
Also not getting the fact I was to young and not ready for the commitment that would come with kids.
I was 19 for heaven sakes barely out of puberty and she wanted kids.
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my best friend's b/f was like you. He was a kid and when he got this girl preggies. He did NOT want any kids but she did. So he said "fine, but I want nothing to do with it"
She moved in with HIS parents so he would see his daughter once every 4 months or so. She's 18 now and he's gald he's in her life. But had his ex not moved in with his parents, he also would have not had anything to do with the child.
His ex went on to have 4 other kids with 3 diff men. One was the 14 yr old babysitter. Some women need to be fixed!
 
Like I said I do not have kids and have chosen never too have them. BUT IF YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH TO HAVE THEM...BE MAN ENOUGH TO BE A FATHER! It's sickening to see all those people who have children and neglect them. Step up to the plate people, you have made a decision now do what's best for the KIDS!
 
jnevin said:
I think maybe one day I'll be ready, but most peoples' kids drive me insane to the point of wishing I had a catapult to the Lord of the Flies island or some shit.
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I also have very little patients for kids. My neice and nephew I love like crazy but yeah, they still drive me mad at times.
 
jnevin said:
I think maybe one day I'll be ready, but most peoples' kids drive me insane to the point of wishing I had a catapult to the Lord of the Flies island or some shit.
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truth? i still feel that way about most other people's kids. . .muh-fuggers drive me ape-shit. . .especially if one of them starts abusing one of my kids. . .already had a few family/acquaintance disturbances over that shit. . .i have no tolerance for mother-fuckers fucking with my kids. . .i teach my kids to respect others and i teach them to stick up for themselves and i expect them to do so. . .but when shit happens right in front of me i go bug-fuck. . .i fully expect that before it's all said and done, i'll be in front of the magistrate answering for an ass-whupping that i gave to some fucking retard that didn't take the time to teach his kids not to fuck with smaller, weaker people. . .
 
I must admit, I have very little tolerance for kids and yet my b/f has two. Our disagreements center a lot around the kids. They are being raised by other ppl and I have no say.
I chose never to have kids nor do I want them, but I met the most amazing person who has them, and I need to learn how to be tolerant.
 
oldandconfused said:
So the result of a woman deciding the rest of a life for a person affects 2 others.
I don't carry any guilt about it. I laid my cards down and that's the way it is.
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how does your wife decide the rest of your life for you?
 
If you're going to just roll the clock back and stick me with the same partner, uh, no, no kids for me at all, thanks. One of the greatest obstacles (for lack of a better word) to raising my son was my truly fucked up relationship (remember, hindsight is 20/20), in particular, being partnered with guy who was a LOT like oldandconfused with one MAJOR difference, this fucker was anti-abortion (which he never told me when we were dating) and said he wanted the baby (the pregnancy was an accident and I was totally neutral about it, please don't bust my ass, I'm a pagan, we believe in reincarnation, you can't kill souls), however, when the kid was born my husband was essentially uninvolved, PLUS he amused himself by pulling mind games on his own son. Additionally, my son was one of those boys who REALLY wants to be doing "guy" things with dad from the time he was really little, y'know, throwing the ball around, shit like that, and dad was always, too tired, too busy, not interested. Just fucked the poor kid up.

Now could I roll the clock back and have a different partner who actually WANTS to have children and wants to be a contributing partner, then yes, I would have children, and actually would have enjoyed having more than one.

For me one of the keys to having children is having a supportive partner to share parenting with.
 
I was very selfish till my first was born when I was 38.
If I had known kids were this much fun I would have had them a long time ago.
Wish I was rich so I could have 2 or 3 more.
I always said "no kids" for me, then when my first was born I realized how most of the shit single people do is VERY unimportant!

When she was born, I cut the cord and put the first diaper on. From that day forward she was daddy's girl and it was on 100%
 
I'm not sure. The first 5 years were stressful but something I wouldn't trade for anything. After that, it pretty much sucks. The teenage years are hell.
 
Old and Confused...I do not have kids and never wanted any so I understand your premise...HOWEVER...If you actually have 2 of them, and they are brought into this world by no choice of their own, you have to be a pretty fucked up, selfish so and so to never see them or communicate with them.

Seriously...you need more help than words can communicate. What you are doing to those poor children of yours by dismissing them from your life is an unspeakable cruelty...and the worst part about all of this is that you could change their life and yours completely and you won't.

What a sad, sad thing...
 
stilleto said:
i do love my kids, of course, but don't think i grew up with wally and june cleaver.
i was left alone overnight from the time i was 9.

i don't even really like other kids, as I said. I never have. having two kids was so hard for me- i rarely had anyone to talk to when i was growing up- then i suddenly had TWO kids who depended on me and wouldn't be quiet for days or hours or even minutes like i'd want. but, i loved them to death since the minute they were born and would walk to the ends of the earth for them. Just because I didn't have that growing up, doesn't mean i should treat my own kids the same way.
jnev, i understand not wanting kids, of course. but they are still humans and if you have them, especially two, with a wife (not a one night stand who lied about the pill or whatever), then you can hate being a father but love your kids.
not even loving them or wanting to know about them though? that's the ultimate in selfishness.

i'm not going to post on this thread anymore. I made my point and don't want to say what i'm thinking to oldandconfused.
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Sucks to know that they're gonna get old and get cancer or some other dreaded disease and there's nothing you can do to stop it.. Then since there's no life after death, they just suffer and die and it's all over... Life is good for a short while if you're lucky, then it turns to shit and there's nothing you can do.. I guess I just don't understand why athiests have children.
 
I think if a man was tricked into having a child and wanted nothing to do with that child, then that is his business... Parenting is not for everyone.
 
Smurfy said:
how does your wife decide the rest of your life for you?
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They discussed it. He said they were not ready for kids or financially ready.

I assume she stopped birthcontrol anyways.

I guess twice.
 
biteme said:
I think if a man was tricked into having a child and wanted nothing to do with that child, then that is his business... Parenting is not for everyone.
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True.

I have seen this shit before. Girl PURPOSELY quits birth control to keep man or just to have kids.

They just felt so screwed they either had nothing to do with the kid or took it out on the kid.

It is not the kids fault it is the selfish cunts. (in these situations)

I would sue a bitch for extortion if she did that shit to me.
 
biteme said:
I think if a man was tricked into having a child and wanted nothing to do with that child, then that is his business... Parenting is not for everyone.
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Not one but two...and parenting is one thing, not even communicating with them at all is another...
 
avidinternet said:
Not one but two...and parenting is one thing, not even communicating with them at all is another...
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If I found out that I had a kid out there that I didn't know about. That person would be around 20 or older by now. If he or she was a nice person, I'd want some kind of relationship. If he or she was a shithead. I'd pass. I don't have time for assholes.
 
biteme said:
If I found out that I had a kid out there that I didn't know about. That person would be around 20 or older by now. If he or she was a nice person, I'd want some kind of relationship. If he or she was a shithead. I'd pass. I don't have time for assholes.
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Check your K
 
blueta2 said:
I must admit, I have very little tolerance for kids and yet my b/f has two. Our disagreements center a lot around the kids. They are being raised by other ppl and I have no say.
I chose never to have kids nor do I want them, but I met the most amazing person who has them, and I need to learn how to be tolerant.
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Mark thinks "tolerant" is the wrong word.

stfd.jpg
 
I think some of you are way too hard on OLDANDCONFUSED.
We are all allowed to make choices. Men get the short end of the stick when a woman gets preggies.
Some will say "well then he should have left it in his pants". That's silly!
Accidents happen all the time. A women is lucky enough to make the choice on abortion, the man, well should he not have a choice? His "abortion" was to walk away.
Does that make him selfish, of course it does, but it doesn't make him evil or a bad person.
Imagine if you will if he decided to care for his kids, but he was angry and bitter about it and just a horrible dad b/c of this anger, do u think these kids would be better with or w/out him?!
It was his ex's choice to have kids, so the onus should be on her to take care of them, not his.
There was a time I got pregnant and I did not want to have a kid, but the guy that got me pregnant did. He said he was going to get a lawyer to stop me from having an abortion. I respected that he wanted a kid, but it was MY choice, not his. Just like if I wanted the kid and he didn't, I would not have held him responsible for his choice. Was I a selfish person for having an abortion? Yep, but my life, my choice
 
oldandconfused- I feel really sad for your kids. Yes you may not have been ready, but you could have been a man and dealt with it. I had my first at 21 do you think I wanted to be a mom that young? Nope, but guess what I was and my party days was over. Your actions will affect your kids in some way. If not in a big way in small ways. My biological father did exactly what you did to your kids. He decided when my mom got pregnant that he didn't want me and didn't want to be a dad so he divorced my mom and split. Does it still bother me? Hell yes!!! In so many ways it bothers me, but luckily my mom met another man she married and adopted me. He is the only dad to me! He took me into his life and heart and treated me like his own.
At least I can say that I have made something of myself regardless of what my real dad did to me. I am well off with a good life and I am a great mother.

I am sorry if I sound judmental, but this hits close to home for me as you did exactly what my "dad" did to me. Kids don't deserve that and I hope that your kids don't have too much pain in their hearts.
 
silverstar1025 said:
oldandconfused- I feel really sad for your kids. Yes you may not have been ready, but you could have been a man and dealt with it. I had my first at 21 do you think I wanted to be a mom that young? Nope, but guess what I was and my party days was over. Your actions will affect your kids in some way. If not in a big way in small ways. My biological father did exactly what you did to your kids. He decided when my mom got pregnant that he didn't want me and didn't want to be a dad so he divorced my mom and split. Does it still bother me? Hell yes!!! In so many ways it bothers me, but luckily my mom met another man she married and adopted me. He is the only dad to me! He took me into his life and heart and treated me like his own.
At least I can say that I have made something of myself regardless of what my real dad did to me. I am well off with a good life and I am a great mother.

I am sorry if I sound judmental, but this hits close to home for me as you did exactly what my "dad" did to me. Kids don't deserve that and I hope that your kids don't have too much pain in their hearts.
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what did your real Dad do to you? You say here your new Dad adopted you and he was wonderful?!
Maybe your real Dad would have been miserable and treated u like shit. Then maybe you would not have been the happy person you are now?!
I think he did act like a man and made a HARD decision to not be part of lives he didn't want to be. I don't think making that choice was too easy on him.
My Uncle is a jerk. My cousin turned out to be a drug addict. She's had a horrible life. He did not want her, he made her VERY AWARE he never wanted her, but he was a "man" and stuck it out. He should have been a MAN and walked away. Maybe she would have had a chance at a better life like you did.
 
blueta2 said:
what did your real Dad do to you? You say here your new Dad adopted you and he was wonderful?!
Maybe your real Dad would have been miserable and treated u like shit. Then maybe you would not have been the happy person you are now?!
I think he did act like a man and made a HARD decision to not be part of lives he didn't want to be. I don't think making that choice was too easy on him.
My Uncle is a jerk. My cousin turned out to be a drug addict. She's had a horrible life. He did not want her, he made her VERY AWARE he never wanted her, but he was a "man" and stuck it out. He should have been a MAN and walked away. Maybe she would have had a chance at a better life like you did.
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Maybe I woudn't be as upset about it had he gone on in life and didn't have kids and that was the way he was, but considering that now he has 2 kids in his life that really hurts. He didn't want anything to do with me, but then all of a sudden realized he wanted to be a dad with these other kids. That is hurtful! You are right I am sure I am better off that he did stay out of my life, but deep down it still does hurt.
 
My sister's husband up and decided he didn't want to be a father one day, too (a child they had planned for, mind you). It's not like oldandconfused left and abandoned them while they were too young to know better. I hear every week about the anger issues Connor has because he knows his father didn't want him (he was five). Blueta, I think if he left after the first or while they were both still babies, I'd be less horrified (I'd even understand, to a degree, and I agree that in some ways it's better that he not be there at all than he be there and be shitty). But he was there for the first six and nine years of their life. Once you choose to be there that long, him leaving and cutting them out of his life is no longer like a woman having an abortion. It's like a mother up and deciding to give her kids to the foster care system at that age simply because she doesn't want to be tied down to them. He made a choice after they were born to be in their lives. He didn't walk till years later. Once you've invested years into raising the kids, the "I didn't want them, she tricked me into having them" bit is irrelevant because he made a choice to stay long enough for them to develop emotional issues from him leaving. Yeah, his wife is lotsofbadwords for getting pregnant when he said he wasn't ready. Yeah, it was manipulative. Yeah, he probably never should have gotten married in the first place. But you know what? Those kids are the ones that really got the short end of the stick.

(lol...remembering something from Chris Rock..."When you have a daughter, you're one responsibility in life....is to keep her off the pole")
 
Well now, this was an interesting thread... and here comes ME.

Unlike the men who were "forced" into being a father I am a woman ROBBED of being a mother. You men who walked away from your children DID do them a favor. Too bad that I didn't have the "brains" to marry a man like you... No, I had to choose a psychotic piece of human excrement that successfully manipulated the laws that were designed to protect the rights of GOOD MEN to use our children like little pawns. And before anyone comes on here with the holier than thou "even crackwhores don't lose custody of their kids so you MUST HAVE done something pretty fucked up" - SPARE ME. Because of the shame/blame game a few generations who have been raised this way remain silent.

Lucky for my girls I have no shame and I will go to my grave SCREAMING until my children are protected and safe and who knows.... maybe even help change the laws that have condemned so many like them before them to death or a life of hell with their abuser cut off from the only family that ever loved OR wanted them.

I am not even human anymore because I can not have my children.

My husband is a gift from heaven as he willingly took on this unbelievable burden and remains by my side fighting for children that he only met for a few scattered hours on a few occasions. Heck, he never met my oldest, the daughter who got so twisted by her abusive piece of human scum sperm donor was the one that set me up, cost me custody of all four. And what does the family court system do when her next youngest sister runs away to MY family for protection BEGGING to see the judge, letters written by her younger two siblings also BEGGING to see the judge to tell him THE TRUTH about what is really going on in their father's home? A NO CONTACT ORDER IS PUT INTO EFFECT THAT VERY DAY... served on my sister as "my alter ego" - so legally whatever papers/punishment is meeted out on her is like it were me.

YUP - That is right here in the United Fucking States of America.

Hire a PI? Hire ANOTHER attorney? File this motion? Serve that order?

OK 400K and over 2 years of FIGHTING WITH MY LAST BREATH to maintain some semblence of custody, then laying down and giving my ex EVERYFUCKINGTHING in a desperate attempt to spare the children more trauma, lied to by lawyers, finding out the kids are being abused then spending the next 5 years battling with everyfuckingresource just to maintain A SEMBLENCE of custody.... what has it got me?

Kids who are failing out, smoking pot, drinking, fucking anyone that gives them the time of day, are violent towards themselves and each other, call/email/chat/text me on a regular basis, "Mami - why don't you come get us? Why can't we live with you? I cry myself to sleep every night dreaming about you Mami! I would rather be dead then live here with this monster..... Please, I don't WANT another birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day, second tuesday of the month without you!!"

So did I want children?

If I answered, "If I could take it back, four innocent souls would not have been forced to endure unbelievable suffering but for MY SELFISHNESS of wanting children to love and nurture."

But that is NOT my answer.

My answer is, "The experiences that mothering THESE PARTICULAR CHILDREN have brought me could never have been imagined in my wildest dreams/nightmares. I am dutibound to see this through. What else in my life is there but to become who I was destined to be because the universe saw fit to give me THESE CHILDREN?!"

I only wish that I had chosen a different man to father them, that is true. I feel though, that my choice in a husband and subsequent father to them NOW will help them not only heal, but far surpass anyone who they could have become if they had not lived through what we are living through."

I have gained the gift of empathy and my children will become stronger and more empathetic human beings because of everything that has happened.

This may seem a small consolation to some, but for me this is TREMENDOUS. I will come out of this better and stronger and my girls will have a HEAD START in life. Life has a very strange way of handing us insanity when we least expect it. My girls will be prepared.

If my husband and I were younger I would have at least 2 more, but my time for that is past and so is his. We will be very happy when we have all 6 of our children with us helping them to see the world for all the beauty and wonder, not totally ignoring what is dark and ugly; but rather, shifting main focus on that which is a gift.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
What exactly is YOUR problem?

I don't remember starting this thread.
Click to expand...



I wasn't talking to you or about you.

But I know you think everything is about you, and even if it isn't - you'll find a way to make it.

Congrats.
 
blueta2 said:
what did your real Dad do to you? You say here your new Dad adopted you and he was wonderful?!
Maybe your real Dad would have been miserable and treated u like shit. Then maybe you would not have been the happy person you are now?!
I think he did act like a man and made a HARD decision to not be part of lives he didn't want to be. I don't think making that choice was too easy on him.
My Uncle is a jerk. My cousin turned out to be a drug addict. She's had a horrible life. He did not want her, he made her VERY AWARE he never wanted her, but he was a "man" and stuck it out. He should have been a MAN and walked away. Maybe she would have had a chance at a better life like you did.
Click to expand...
No, that's not a man. He acted like a coward.
Hard decision? Maybe, but shows his shitty character.
I certainly do agree that anyone is better off without this type of person in their life.
 
jh1 said:
I wasn't talking to you or about you.

But I know you think everything is about you, and even if it isn't - you'll find a way to make it.

Congrats.
Click to expand...

Bullshit...

So who EXACTLY was this thread about and who EXACTLY were you talking about that you posted that just beneath MY ONLY FUCKING POST on this thread?

I don't remember you singling out any one else that posted their personal feelings or experiences. So what, now I am not "allowed" to post on a thread about one's feelings regarding children/parenting? I have to ask YOUR permission now?

Get over yourself. M'kay? It's old and tired.... sorta like me. Feel me?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Bullshit...

So who EXACTLY was this thread about and who EXACTLY were you talking about that you posted that just beneath MY ONLY FUCKING POST on this thread?

I don't remember you singling out any one else that posted their personal feelings or experiences. So what, now I am not "allowed" to post on a thread about one's feelings regarding children/parenting? I have to ask YOUR permission now?

Get over yourself. M'kay? It's old and tired.... sorta like me. Feel me?
Click to expand...


Was not talking to you or about you.

Period.

Get over yourself, not everything is about you.

But, once again you have made it so.
 
jh1 said:
Was not talking to you or about you.

Period.

Get over yourself, not everything is about you.

But, once again you have made it so.
Click to expand...

:rolleyes:

So then who were you talking to/about? Scroll back, it is abundantly clear and it ain't what YOU are backpeddlin 'bout.

And congratulate yourself darlin - YOU made this "about me"..... yet again. But you are bitching about me?

Whatever... :whatever:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
:rolleyes:

So then who were you talking to/about? Scroll back, it is abundantly clear and it ain't what YOU are backpeddlin 'bout.

And congratulate yourself darlin - YOU made this "about me"..... yet again. But you are bitching about me?

Whatever... :whatever:
Click to expand...



Nope. No matter how many times you insist it was about you, it doesn't make it any more true.

Not about you.
 
I love my kids and do like kids in general. I don't expect children to behave perfectly. They are just children. They will eventually come around. They need good parenting.

We want to eventually move into a more children friendly environment with more kids around, just so our kids can have more friends and playdates etc... Right now, it's ALL about the kids for us. We want the best environment for our kids.

Personally, I'm done with partying, going out every other night, doing all sorts of "stuff".. I've really had my fill. It's more than time for me to settle down and enjoy my family. That is why I got married and that is why I had kids.

We were "rich" before having kids. Now all our money flies out the window for a million different things. We have NO TIME for anything other than our kids. We barely have time to workout. We're struggling just to make time for that. Sometimes at 10PM we have a workout because that's when the kids went to bed. etc.. You lose all your time and your money with kids.

BUT we love it!! I live for them. WE live for them.

I WANT to take my daughter to soccer games and cheer her on. I want to see her in the school play. I love making her happy. Unless you have a child, then it really can't be explained to you.

I do respect others' opinions on not having kids and commend them for not having kids because they don't want them. It's better than having them and not raising them properly.

Some of us are just the parent types, and some of us aren't. You can call me pussy, go ahead. I will tell you that the mothers at the daycare see me differently. WOW! It's great to be Mr. mom.

Suck my dong and move along.
 
jh1 said:
Nope. No matter how many times you insist it was about you, it doesn't make it any more true.

Not about you.
Click to expand...

Yea ok... so WHAT had you heard before... that had NOTHING to do with my ONE post on this thread that you felt the need to post that "WOW, you've never heard THAT before" directly after me? :rolleyes:

Back-peddle quickly, don't want to look bad in all your e-thug glory. :lmao:

This thread isn't about me, why would it be? It was fucking open question to ANY BOARD MEMBER that wanted to share their personal feelings regarding one topic = children, whether a body had them, or not. So that pretty much includes EVERYFUCKINGBODY.

duh
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Yea ok... so WHAT had you heard before... that had NOTHING to do with my ONE post on this thread that you felt the need to post that "WOW, you've never heard THAT before" directly after me? :rolleyes:

Back-peddle quickly, don't want to look bad in all your e-thug glory. :lmao:

This thread isn't about me, why would it be? It was fucking open question to ANY BOARD MEMBER that wanted to share their personal feelings regarding one topic = children, whether a body had them, or not. So that pretty much includes EVERYFUCKINGBODY.

duh
Click to expand...



Lemme Check....



Nope. Still wasn't about you.
 
jh1 said:
Lemme Check....



Nope. Still wasn't about you.
Click to expand...

Game/set/match = BIKINIMOM

You just pwned yourself bigtime... so WHO was that comment directed at IF NOT ME?

I'm out for the day. Have fun reveling in all the glory that is YOUR self-pwnage. :splat:
 
There is no option for : I dont have kids - but generally like them and want some in the future.

there's my vote.

Dont like kids per se but believe that I will like my own. Not really very good around them right now but have never really ever been around kids.
 
jh1 said:
Wow never heard this before.
Click to expand...


lolololololoolooololoololoollloo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$#$r3
 
  • Like
Reactions: jh1
gonelifting said:
I love my kids and do like kids in general. I don't expect children to behave perfectly. They are just children. They will eventually come around. They need good parenting.

We want to eventually move into a more children friendly environment with more kids around, just so our kids can have more friends and playdates etc... Right now, it's ALL about the kids for us. We want the best environment for our kids.

Personally, I'm done with partying, going out every other night, doing all sorts of "stuff".. I've really had my fill. It's more than time for me to settle down and enjoy my family. That is why I got married and that is why I had kids.

We were "rich" before having kids. Now all our money flies out the window for a million different things. We have NO TIME for anything other than our kids. We barely have time to workout. We're struggling just to make time for that. Sometimes at 10PM we have a workout because that's when the kids went to bed. etc.. You lose all your time and your money with kids.

BUT we love it!! I live for them. WE live for them.

I WANT to take my daughter to soccer games and cheer her on. I want to see her in the school play. I love making her happy. Unless you have a child, then it really can't be explained to you.

I do respect others' opinions on not having kids and commend them for not having kids because they don't want them. It's better than having them and not raising them properly.

Some of us are just the parent types, and some of us aren't. You can call me pussy, go ahead. I will tell you that the mothers at the daycare see me differently. WOW! It's great to be Mr. mom.

Suck my dong and move along.
Click to expand...

Pussy!!!



j/k props for getting "stuff" out of your system before you let a women trick you into a family.
 
kidds.jpg
 
Tytan said:
Having kids changed my life for the better.
Click to expand...

K 2 U Tytan, me too. I was a father at 37 for the first time. I was old enough to have done alot, seen alot, and the curiosity of screwing different women every night had subsided to a minumum by then. Before that, it was ALL about getting my dick wet and how much drugs I could do.

As things went, my son was conceived and I was ready to have a child mentally and finantially.
Without a doubt, he is THE single best thing that I could have had happen to me. I am truly blessed. I didn't deserve such a child, he is just the best human being that I have ever known. Kind to everyone, black/ brown/ yelow or spotted, he loves people. Smart, never a grade less then a 91 on a report card yet. Funny, he's keep me laughing all the time. Athletic, he plays starting short stop and hits .600 plus in the 12U division even though he's only 10. Good looking, he's gonna be a lady killer, his mom's a beauty, he took after her...
I love my son. ( and he loves his Daddy, that's the best part :)
I am truly the luckiest sumbitch to walk the planet.
 
txbondsman said:
K 2 U Tytan, me too. I was a father at 37 for the first time. I was old enough to have done alot, seen alot, and the curiosity of screwing different women every night had subsided to a minumum by then. Before that, it was ALL about getting my dick wet and how much drugs I could do.

As things went, my son was conceived and I was ready to have a child mentally and finantially.
Without a doubt, he is THE single best thing that I could have had happen to me. I am truly blessed. I didn't deserve such a child, he is just the best human being that I have ever known. Kind to everyone, black/ brown/ yelow or spotted, he loves people. Smart, never a grade less then a 91 on a report card yet. Funny, he's keep me laughing all the time. Athletic, he plays starting short stop and hits .600 plus in the 12U division even though he's only 10. Good looking, he's gonna be a lady killer, his mom's a beauty, he took after her...
I love my son. ( and he loves his Daddy, that's the best part :)
I am truly the luckiest sumbitch to walk the planet.[/QUOTE]

K to you too!

Talk about a return on investment. One that those without kids will never know.

It's certainly not for everyone though.
Click to expand...
 
txbondsman said:
K 2 U Tytan, me too. I was a father at 37 for the first time. I was old enough to have done alot, seen alot, and the curiosity of screwing different women every night had subsided to a minumum by then. Before that, it was ALL about getting my dick wet and how much drugs I could do.

As things went, my son was conceived and I was ready to have a child mentally and finantially.
Without a doubt, he is THE single best thing that I could have had happen to me. I am truly blessed. I didn't deserve such a child, he is just the best human being that I have ever known. Kind to everyone, black/ brown/ yelow or spotted, he loves people. Smart, never a grade less then a 91 on a report card yet. Funny, he's keep me laughing all the time. Athletic, he plays starting short stop and hits .600 plus in the 12U division even though he's only 10. Good looking, he's gonna be a lady killer, his mom's a beauty, he took after her...
I love my son. ( and he loves his Daddy, that's the best part :)
I am truly the luckiest sumbitch to walk the planet.
Click to expand...

Props to you. You did it right in my opinion.

1. Do you think you are a better dad, and can give more to your son that you waited? (instead of having kids at 20?)

2. Are you going to tell your good looking son NOT to have kids young?
 
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