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do you know a key to marriage?

the key to marriage is that there is no key to marriage, there is no rule, quick solution or pattern. It's work, day in and day out because people and feelings change over time and my marriage, your marriage and the neighbor's marriage are different. No cookie cutter solution.
 
NTL said:
Always be truthful and faithful.
Click to expand...

alright i can do that :heart:

nangiggles said:
the key to marriage is that there is no key to marriage, there is no rule, quick solution or pattern. It's work, day in and day out because people and feelings change over time and my marriage, your marriage and the neighbor's marriage are different. No cookie cutter solution.
Click to expand...

you mean he might not love me next year? and do you mean he might love me in 2015 after not loving me in 2014? :heart:

jcnuts said:
Give up the pussy everyday.

~ JohnyCoolNuts ~
Click to expand...

he works from home :heart:
 
Exactly what are you expecting by proposing this question to a bunch of anonymous drug-using weightlifters on the internet?

Regardless, the credited response is from Nangiggles, HTH.



:cow:
 
samoth said:
Exactly what are you expecting by proposing this question to a bunch of anonymous drug-using weightlifters on the internet?

Regardless, the credited response is from Nangiggles, HTH.



:cow:
Click to expand...

i did not wanna ask on girl site forums.
trying to learn form the other side + hubby does weightlifting too!
weight minds think alike :heart:
 
polly95 said:
alright i can do that :heart:



you mean he might not love me next year? and do you mean he might love me in 2015 after not loving me in 2014? :heart:



he works from home :heart:
Click to expand...
I didn't mean it literally, yet you'd be surprised, I would have divorced or cheated on my husband in 2011 if I would have had the time and opportunity, I literally could not stand him at times. Today/2013 I am glad I didnt do any of that, I haven't been so happy with him in years, it's weird.
 
nangiggles said:
I didn't mean it literally, yet you'd be surprised, I would have divorced or cheated on my husband in 2011 if I would have had the time and opportunity, I literally could not stand him at times. Today/2013 I am glad I didnt do any of that, I haven't been so happy with him in years, it's weird.
Click to expand...

wow thats incredible the way it can change so much each year.
thats pretty scary how some people who got divorced in 2011 could have waited and been ok in 2013!
amazing :heart:

nangiggles said:
How did you end up here on EF? you're from Melbourne Australia? I'm from Melbourne too ;)
Click to expand...

i was looking in google for a forum about exercise/health/fitness cos i play tennis everyday and also cos hubby is into lots of exercising too so i find it pretty interesting too.
thats good me too i'm in melbourne for sure :heart:
 
polly95 said:
in the past but now 18/adult/married :heart:


i'll agree to that :heart:
Click to expand...

odds are not in your favor if youre 18 and just got married

I just got married in 2013 myself but I was 38. You are not going to be the same person at 38 than when you are 18 so you and your husband are going to have to grow up together, which means having a ton of patience with each other and always keep the communication channels open.
[/end cliche]
 
samoth said:
Exactly what are you expecting by proposing this question to a bunch of anonymous drug-using weightlifters on the internet?

:cow:
Click to expand...
Seconded.

Besides, if she is 18 somewhere between now and 10 years from now the question will be academic because she'll be divorced or in the process, I'll bet every dime of Karma I have on it.

I got married at 18, my son got married around 20 or 21. I managed to make it to about 27 before I despised my husband (I also got knocked up one month after we were married, if not for that I would have left his ass about six months after we said "I do"), my son didn't even make it 5 years. In today's society the vast majority of first marriages before mid to late 20s fail.

Here's my advice to you, Polly. Don't buy a house, don't have kids. If you are still in love with, like and respect your husband when you're older than 26, then think about that shit. IOW, wait until your brain has finished maturing before you make any more stupid fucking major life decisions.
 
Alter or not...

The key to staying married is maintenance. Like anything valuable (your house, car, etc.) a marriage needs maintenance. Several times over the course of your lives you will drift apart; recognize it and force yourselves to spend alone time together to rediscover one another.

It's easy now, but life gets busier as you get older; especially after you have children. Enjoy your honeymoon phase and remember my advice in 3 or 4 years. Then when you feel the two of you drifting apart, schedule some time where the you can be away from all distractions; talk endlessly and be reminded of why you fell in love in the first place.
 
Have 8 kids and put both of your names on a house together, and make sure you finance EVERYTHING

Also, cut all ties with family/friends so you only have your husband for company, and spend all your time together cooped up inside your financed home


Should work out great
 
-SD- said:
odds are not in your favor if youre 18 and just got married

I just got married in 2013 myself but I was 38. You are not going to be the same person at 38 than when you are 18 so you and your husband are going to have to grow up together, which means having a ton of patience with each other and always keep the communication channels open.
[/end cliche]
Click to expand...

i might change but he won't, he is a lot older and has had wife experience but she died.
they were married almost 2 decades so at least he has experience (but they divorced during the 20 decades and came back together) :heart:

musclemom said:
Seconded.

Besides, if she is 18 somewhere between now and 10 years from now the question will be academic because she'll be divorced or in the process, I'll bet every dime of Karma I have on it.

I got married at 18, my son got married around 20 or 21. I managed to make it to about 27 before I despised my husband (I also got knocked up one month after we were married, if not for that I would have left his ass about six months after we said "I do"), my son didn't even make it 5 years. In today's society the vast majority of first marriages before mid to late 20s fail.

Here's my advice to you, Polly. Don't buy a house, don't have kids. If you are still in love with, like and respect your husband when you're older than 26, then think about that shit. IOW, wait until your brain has finished maturing before you make any more stupid fucking major life decisions.
Click to expand...

he already had a house for us :heart:

nydj66 said:
Alter or not...

The key to staying married is maintenance. Like anything valuable (your house, car, etc.) a marriage needs maintenance. Several times over the course of your lives you will drift apart; recognize it and force yourselves to spend alone time together to rediscover one another.

It's easy now, but life gets busier as you get older; especially after you have children. Enjoy your honeymoon phase and remember my advice in 3 or 4 years. Then when you feel the two of you drifting apart, schedule some time where the you can be away from all distractions; talk endlessly and be reminded of why you fell in love in the first place.
Click to expand...

thank you, sounds very wise!
hubby drifted from his other wife but then they got remarried :heart:

bigbassturd said:
Have 8 kids and put both of your names on a house together, and make sure you finance EVERYTHING

Also, cut all ties with family/friends so you only have your husband for company, and spend all your time together cooped up inside your financed home


Should work out great
Click to expand...

not 8 kids lol.
my mum did not approve of our marriage so we don't see her much :(
he financed everything so far :heart:
 
polly95 said:
i might change but he won't, he is a lot older and has had wife experience but she died.
they were married almost 2 decades so at least he has experience (but they divorced during the 20 decades and came back together) :heart:



he already had a house for us :heart:



thank you, sounds very wise!
hubby drifted from his other wife but then they got remarried :heart:



not 8 kids lol.
my mum did not approve of our marriage so we don't see her much :(
he financed everything so far :heart:
Click to expand...

And the plot thickens...

So how old is your husband? And why did you marry a man with such a disparity in life experiences?
Did you not have a daddy or something ? Decided to find one in marriage?
 
polly95 said:
i might change but he won't, he is a lot older and has had wife experience but she died.
they were married almost 2 decades so at least he has experience (but they divorced during the 20 decades and came back together) :heart:

he already had a house for us :heart:

thank you, sounds very wise.
hubby drifted from his other wife but then they got remarried :heart:
Click to expand...
A naive 18 year old and a 40 something widower, talk about a scenario destined for success. In your case do the smart thing and get your name on the deed ASAP, then get preggo as fast as you can, also make sure he's updated any life insurance and his will. Better yet, get a post nup.

Bet he's got kids about the same age as you, doesn't he?
 
BTW, what's a happy newlywed doing out of bed surfing the web at 3:00 a.m.?
 
-SD- said:
And the plot thickens...

So how old is your husband? And why did you marry a man with such a disparity in life experiences?
Did you not have a daddy or something ? Decided to find one in marriage?
Click to expand...

i didn't plan to marry before i met him but just ended up wanting to marry because of him
engeltje%5B1%5D.gif


i have no dad but i don't know what a dad is like so i was not looking for one. mum was never married but i didn't like her bfs ever so i didn't want a daddy :theshadow

musclemom said:
A naive 18 year old and a 40 something widower, talk about a scenario destined for success. In your case do the smart thing and get your name on the deed ASAP, then get preggo as fast as you can, also make sure he's updated any life insurance and his will. Better yet, get a post nup.

Bet he's got kids about the same age as you, doesn't he?
Click to expand...

i didn't study business/money ever but hubby is experienced with those things.
he has kids but they don't live with us :supercool
 
musclemom said:
A naive 18 year old and a 40 something widower, talk about a scenario destined for success. In your case do the smart thing and get your name on the deed ASAP, then get preggo as fast as you can, also make sure he's updated any life insurance and his will. Better yet, get a post nup.

Bet he's got kids about the same age as you, doesn't he?
Click to expand...

So if I go to Australia I can find a cute 18-year-old willing to marry a middle-aged man?
 
musclemom said:
A naive 18 year old and a 40 something widower, talk about a scenario destined for success. In your case do the smart thing and get your name on the deed ASAP, then get preggo as fast as you can, also make sure he's updated any life insurance and his will. Better yet, get a post nup.

Bet he's got kids about the same age as you, doesn't he?
Click to expand...

I can't tell if this is serious post
 
SpyWizard said:
the trick is to always try and outgive the other person.. if you are married to a "Taker" you've got issues..

good luck and congrats..
Click to expand...

you mean both me and him try to outgive each other? sounds ideal especially if we try to give different things that we are each good at.
thanks :rainbow:
 
So a 40 year old attracted to a 16 year old and married her as soon as it was legal, I can see why your mom didn't approve, that sounds almost predatory
 
zwhit said:
I can't tell if this is serious post
Click to expand...
Dead fucking serious.

The only hope she has of securing her future is to make sure his kids can't wipe her out if he dies or becomes incapacitated. And she should be working toward developing marketable skills and getting some real world work experience.

These May/December things can get ugly as hell when December has kids the same age as the new spouse. And when the older partner wants the younger one to stay ignorant and placid, bad sign.

If he refuses to do a post nup -- he can amend his will but he can also go back and change that without her knowledge; he can get life insurance but if he doesn't pay the premiums the insurance company won't tell her and can't give her information -- the only protection she has is to get her name on the deed (which can't be removed without her knowledge) and a child. At least if she has kids the odds are strongly against the courts putting her out of the home in the event of something unforeseen happening to her husband.
 
polly95 said:
i just got married in 2013 so is there a key to staying married forever?
thanks :heart:
Click to expand...

Best advice I ever heard was "Keep your fights clean and the sex dirty."
 
musclemom said:
Dead fucking serious.

The only hope she has of securing her future is to make sure his kids can't wipe her out if he dies or becomes incapacitated. And she should be working toward developing marketable skills and getting some real world work experience.

These May/December things can get ugly as hell when December has kids the same age as the new spouse. And when the older partner wants the younger one to stay ignorant and placid, bad sign.

If he refuses to do a post nup -- he can amend his will but he can also go back and change that without her knowledge; he can get life insurance but if he doesn't pay the premiums the insurance company won't tell her and can't give her information -- the only protection she has is to get her name on the deed (which can't be removed without her knowledge) and a child. At least if she has kids the odds are strongly against the courts putting her out of the home in the event of something unforeseen happening to her husband.
Click to expand...


this is most likely an alter but you really think it's a good idea for an 18 year old to have kids as quickly as possible to secure her future?
 
musclemom said:
Dead fucking serious.

The only hope she has of securing her future is to make sure his kids can't wipe her out if he dies or becomes incapacitated. And she should be working toward developing marketable skills and getting some real world work experience.

These May/December things can get ugly as hell when December has kids the same age as the new spouse. And when the older partner wants the younger one to stay ignorant and placid, bad sign.

If he refuses to do a post nup -- he can amend his will but he can also go back and change that without her knowledge; he can get life insurance but if he doesn't pay the premiums the insurance company won't tell her and can't give her information -- the only protection she has is to get her name on the deed (which can't be removed without her knowledge) and a child. At least if she has kids the odds are strongly against the courts putting her out of the home in the event of something unforeseen happening to her husband.
Click to expand...


And this, my friends, is why women are evil conniving fucking snakes - Java
 
mm why are you telling her to get on his deed and pop a baby to secure her future? How about telling her to get a job, gain independence or go to school? Women don't need to be leaches. Besides, what good is a house or a car if you have no job or money to maintain it?
 
nangiggles said:
mm why are you telling her to get on his deed and pop a baby to secure her future? How about telling her to get a job, gain independence or go to school? Women don't need to be leaches. Besides, what good is a house or a car if you have no job or money to maintain it?
Click to expand...


I assume she's going to UMelbourne for finance or law.



:cow:
 
samoth said:
I assume she's going to UMelbourne for finance or law.

:cow:
Click to expand...
Apparently only samoth and I noticed that our polly said "i didn't study business/money ever but hubby is experienced with those things."

And Nan, did you not notice I said: "The only hope she has of securing her future is to make sure his kids can't wipe her out if he dies or becomes incapacitated. And she should be working toward developing marketable skills and getting some real world work experience."

Little FYI to all those 20-something four and five year marriage veterans out there, the worst thing any spouse can do is choose to remain ignorant of critical aspects of the marriage. And it's a very, very bad omen if one spouse does not WANT the other involved or informed, particularly when it comes to money matters.

However, if learning about household finances is too much like work for our pretty Polly, making a baby and getting on the deed (I didn't say mortgage, big difference) guarantees a little security. And yes, you can be on the deed but not on the mortgage.

And if he balks then something's not kosher.

Seriously, what does a 40+ year old man have in common with an 18 year old? Nobody can fuck 24/7, eventually you should have some sort of a conversation. There's only 11 years between my current husband and I and we still run into him saying "Hey, do you remember?" and I go "Shit, I wasn't even in kindergarten then."
 
musclemom said:
Apparently only samoth and I noticed that our polly said "i didn't study business/money ever but hubby is experienced with those things."

And Nan, did you not notice I said: "The only hope she has of securing her future is to make sure his kids can't wipe her out if he dies or becomes incapacitated. And she should be working toward developing marketable skills and getting some real world work experience."

Little FYI to all those 20-something four and five year marriage veterans out there, the worst thing any spouse can do is choose to remain ignorant of critical aspects of the marriage. And it's a very, very bad omen if one spouse does not WANT the other involved or informed, particularly when it comes to money matters.

However, if learning about household finances is too much like work for our pretty Polly, making a baby and getting on the deed (I didn't say mortgage, big difference) guarantees a little security. And yes, you can be on the deed but not on the mortgage.

And if he balks then something's not kosher.

Seriously, what does a 40+ year old man have in common with an 18 year old? Nobody can fuck 24/7, eventually you should have some sort of a conversation. There's only 11 years between my current husband and I and we still run into him saying "Hey, do you remember?" and I go "Shit, I wasn't even in kindergarten then."
Click to expand...

a kid isn't a tool to gain security. that's asinine.

I agree she should be included in finances but having a kid for security purposes is terrible advice
 
haha thanks! haha! It said it was spelled wrong but I looked at it and couldn't figure out what I typed was wrong..fucking T!
 
zwhit said:
a kid isn't a tool to gain security. that's asinine.

I agree she should be included in finances but having a kid for security purposes is terrible advice
Click to expand...
Eh, maybe the reason he robbed the cradle was so he could have a second family, some men do that and generally speaking older fathers have way more fun than their younger counterparts. If he's leaning towards kids I'm just encouraging her to get started.

Let's face it, if she isn't an alter we are talking about a chick that came here for marital advice :rolleyes: The track record of this group in general (myself included) isn't exactly stellar in that regard.
 
WoodyO said:
I need to get myself a 18 year old I think
Click to expand...

i've never heard of a couple like ours, so its uncommon and people think i'm his daughter because they stare strangely when we kiss:busy:

txbondsman said:
Best advice I ever heard was "Keep your fights clean and the sex dirty."
Click to expand...

we are pretty clean/oldfashioned in both ways (except he likes the backyard pool lounge lol) but we could become dirty in the future:jarswim::blow:
 
zwhit said:
a kid isn't a tool to gain security. that's asinine.

I agree she should be included in finances but having a kid for security purposes is terrible advice
Click to expand...

Take a step back and figure where that advice is coming from and it will all make sense.
 
musclemom said:
Eh, maybe the reason he robbed the cradle was so he could have a second family, some men do that and generally speaking older fathers have way more fun than their younger counterparts. If he's leaning towards kids I'm just encouraging her to get started.

Let's face it, if she isn't an alter we are talking about a chick that came here for marital advice :rolleyes: The track record of this group in general (myself included) isn't exactly stellar in that regard.
Click to expand...

hubby is a bodybuilder (or retired) so i love to read about his favourite interest and then impress upon him + i like being fit for tennis. this forum is the way to go i think :rainbow:
 
polly95 said:
wow thats incredible the way it can change so much each year.
thats pretty scary how some people who got divorced in 2011 could have waited and been ok in 2013!
amazing :heart:



i was looking in google for a forum about exercise/health/fitness cos i play tennis everyday and also cos hubby is into lots of exercising too so i find it pretty interesting too.
thats good me too i'm in melbourne for sure :heart:
Click to expand...

thought you could spell?
 
polly95 said:
i've never heard of a couple like ours, so its uncommon and people think i'm his daughter because they stare strangely when we kiss:busy:



we are pretty clean/oldfashioned in both ways (except he likes the backyard pool lounge lol) but we could become dirty in the future:jarswim::blow:
Click to expand...
I'm going to assume backyard pool lounge is code for anal.
 
It's Big Cracker! Who else remembers him? He was the first guy that I ever talked to on here in 06'. :-)
That was one CRAZY guy, funny, but WAY out there... lol
 
if someone knew the key to marriage, no one would be divorced


consider this a divoooooooooooooooooooooorce
 
nangiggles said:
the key to marriage is that there is no key to marriage, there is no rule, quick solution or pattern. It's work, day in and day out because people and feelings change over time and my marriage, your marriage and the neighbor's marriage are different. No cookie cutter solution.
Click to expand...

That avi is really fucking me up Nancy
 
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