do I have an eating disorder?

[circusgirl]

I am posting this message here as a) it pertains to my training diet and b) I know there are several female BBers who post here who have struggled with eating issues in the past.

Some years ago, I was bulimic. I stopped throwing up around 5 years ago, but the bingeing behaviour never really went away. It didn't bother me though, as I just didn't get fat, at all. I was doing 10 hours+ of tkd training a week, I guess it never got the chance... but no-one can train that intensively for ever, and since I started trying to eat clean for lifting, it's become a real problem.

Most of the time for the last few months, I've been able to contain it to one cheat day every 6 days or so, so it hasn't been bothering me, other than the near constant obsession with regular soda, pastries and cakes.

But since my hubbie left to work in DC for 2 months, I've been getting depressed and it's back with a vengeance. I have binged on crap like pizza, cake, soda EVERY DAY this week. It seems like I am finding it hard to stop.

I am not posting here to get people to say poor you, what I want to know is, how do you folks on here who have had similar eating peoblems cope with the urge to lapse back into bad habits when under a lot of stress and how do you get back on the straight and narrow? (BTW I will never throw up again, so don't worry on that score).

I'm trying not to hate myself, as that doesn't help matters at all. But my lack of willpower is getting to me... I have given up alcohol and throwing up and never wavered, so I know I have the willpower in there somewhere, but where...

 

[NY Muscle]

it seems you are a binger, happens for lots of reasons, stress, depression. seratonin problems...sometimes if you have been dieting too long your mind/body gives up and you start binging again and losing that will power..other than trying some SSRI's, behavoral therapy is an option...eating disorder groups..most psychiatrists will know where to send you...

 

[nikkita]

I think that we all can get depressed or stressed... and the way you can handle problems is half the way to resolving them. You say "I'm trying not to hate myself", it may be good that you think about what it is really that is bothering you... sometimes we can have a self-esteem problem and express it by bingering or other type of behaviour.... which leads on the long run to be hard to handle willpower. Try to get help by talking to a counselor or psychologist, so that you find out what is really bothering you.

 

[circusgirl]

I should hbave added - I know what is bothering me, but after years of trying to put it right I've realised it's just not going to go away. All shitty stuff from the past, basically, that torments me every moment of the day when I'm not actively busy. "Help" has ranged from the "tell me about your problems" variety which doesn't help, talking and talking doesn't change anything. Or the "well just get over it" variety, which doesn't help much either.

I've spent a lot of time in psych hospitals for manic depression, and I'm not actually suffering depression at the moment, thanks to medication intake on a permanent basis. When I say depressed I mean feeling down and wanting to cry, whereas when actually suffering from depression, I am incapable of tears, as I am on another planet...

I've seen plenty of psychiatrists, and about the only thing they can do other than what I am taking for the bipolar stuff is offer me valium, which I decline. Counsellors are good for not being able to get out of bed, or if there's something on your mind that you need to talk about, but neither of those is my problem...

I used to drink and do bulimia, then I used to cut, then I started bingeing.... I was really hoping focussing positively on weight training would help, which it has... but not enough...

 

[velvett]

Do you have any close friends that know you really well that could help keep you busy, out and about (even against your will) so you really can't focus on being alone, food or cravings?

 

[NY Muscle]

I should hbave added - I know what is bothering me, but after years of trying to put it right I've realised it's just not going to go away. All shitty stuff from the past, basically, that torments me every moment of the day when I'm not actively busy. "Help" has ranged from the "tell me about your problems" variety which doesn't help, talking and talking doesn't change anything. Or the "well just get over it" variety, which doesn't help much either.

I've spent a lot of time in psych hospitals for manic depression, and I'm not actually suffering depression at the moment, thanks to medication intake on a permanent basis. When I say depressed I mean feeling down and wanting to cry, whereas when actually suffering from depression, I am incapable of tears, as I am on another planet...

I've seen plenty of psychiatrists, and about the only thing they can do other than what I am taking for the bipolar stuff is offer me valium, which I decline. Counsellors are good for not being able to get out of bed, or if there's something on your mind that you need to talk about, but neither of those is my problem...

I used to drink and do bulimia, then I used to cut, then I started bingeing.... I was really hoping focussing positively on weight training would help, which it has... but not enough...

Ok this is a last resort…go to a hypnotist..I did and it worked…but I noticed after 6 months or so you may want to go again…the 1st time I went it was $250, then its like $50 if you want “tune ups”..i also didn’t go back for tune ups and I think I should have as the results would have lasted longer.

The tune ups as I call them at this place are tapes with subliminal messages and these unbelievably high tech sunglasses with red lights flashing super fast…bugs you out..but works….they also used these glasses to help put you in the hypnotic state while the hypnotist is talking to u..

I tell u this lady was a genius…she also had in her office who works with her a guy who speaks to dead people….and has REAL pyschic powers….the reason I say this is…when I walked in I talked to him..i didn’t say anything other than..”hi how are you, ihave an appt with the hypnotist…..so after we go in the room she gets a call on the phone…she says..ill be right back…she comes back and she said…the (guy who can talk to dead people) told me some things about you that he would like me to ask you about….she said it..and I literally almost passed out….the thing he said is NOT something ANYONE could EVER figure out…but it was something he felt after h saw me walk in….so after I heard that I knew this shit was for real.


She did some cool things with me…we talked about diet and nutrtion and foods etc…she did this cool test where shed place fingers on certain body parts of mine..make me clear my mind…ask me questions..id give answers…she could tell if I was lying or telling the truth..was UNREAL…so after an hour of this..she founsd out MANY things and even little things..like avoiding sugar and carbs…which is a MUST for me when im dieting…

Anyway this woman sat with me for 3 hours…was no bullshit…she was so nice…seemed as if she cared…was nothing like you see on tv…this woman was amazing

 

[PowerPrincess]

it seems you are a binger, happens for lots of reasons, stress, depression. seratonin problems...sometimes if you have been dieting too long your mind/body gives up and you start binging again and losing that will power..other than trying some SSRI's, behavoral therapy is an option...eating disorder groups..most psychiatrists will know where to send you...

WHAT'S AN SSRI???

 

[wyst]

Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor, also: Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SRI) - any medication that slows the re-absorption of serotonin by neurons in the brain; thus allowing serotonin to remain in the synapse longer. SRIs can interfere with sexual desire or function, but this effect is often temporary. Like most psychiatric medications, SRIs are best started with ramped dosage. The SRI medications include (generic names) buspirone hydrochloride, fluoxetine, fluvoxamine, mirtazapine, nefazodone, paroxetine, sertraline, trazodone, venlaxfazine. CAUTION: SRIs should not be combined with MAOIs.

Fluoxetine is, I think, also known as Prozac. I know one of 'em is prozac.

xoxo

Wyst

 

[NY Muscle]

Prozac is commonly used for weight loss in people with the aforementioned problems like circusgirl

takes a few weeks to really get blood levels up so it doesnt work overnight

 

[FitFossil]

…she did this cool test where shed place fingers on certain body parts of mine..make me clear my mind…ask me questions..id give answers…she could tell if I was lying or telling the truth..

NY Muscle,

Was this the type of test where you're lying on your back and you hold up one arm while she tries to pull it down while touching a point on the body saying something like "thyroid", and if your thyroid or whatever isn't healthy, your arm goes weak (even though you think you're holding it as hard as you can)?