Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below im certain my girlfriend wants nobody but me. she constantly brings up how we will be married in 2 or 3 years, have children, and cant wait til we move in together in september. we have been together 2 years. theres one thing bothering me though. its that sex went from 6 or more times a week 2 years ago and slowly decreased, not 1-2 times a week or every other week. now, i realize she is back in school, getting up at 530 am and then at 4pm working til 9pm. she is busy all day and exhausted. i realize the circumstances and understand her position, i have also caused issues in our relationship by being paranoid about her wanting someone else because of the lack of sex (ive been getting better on this). 4 months ago it started getting to me so bad that i started taking painkillers during the day to keep my mind off of it. went from 1 vicodin 750 every 5 days or so to 5 or 6 every 3 days. she loves me and i love her more than anything, but i need to get off the painkillers and i want her to want me more. ive been on aas off an on for the last year hopefully so that my appearance will make her want me but it doesnt help. what can i do? has anyone ever been through this? how do you get through or improve it?
decrease of sex in a long term relationship
- Thread starter markshark
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How you look has very little to do with how many times a day your lady wants sex.
Men and women function completely differently.
Markshark you said it so yourself that she has a crazy schedule. She is most likely tired and stressed about the impending move. This alone would be enough to kill many peoples' sex drives.
You acting all goofy over it is making it worse - I GUARANTEE YOU. The fact that you felt the need to take painkillers tells me you guys are headed for some serious trouble and need to work this out NOW before your relationship progresses any further.
Can you tell me why it is that you chose this woman to make such a serious commitment to in the first place?
Men and women function completely differently.
Markshark you said it so yourself that she has a crazy schedule. She is most likely tired and stressed about the impending move. This alone would be enough to kill many peoples' sex drives.
You acting all goofy over it is making it worse - I GUARANTEE YOU. The fact that you felt the need to take painkillers tells me you guys are headed for some serious trouble and need to work this out NOW before your relationship progresses any further.
Can you tell me why it is that you chose this woman to make such a serious commitment to in the first place?
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Sexual desire as everything else ebbs and flows over the course and any long term relationship.
It really sounds like there are some much deeper issues that need to be addressed. To be upset that you aren't getting as much play as you used to, is one thing. But to actually self-medicate so as not to think about this is quite serious. Don't you guys agree?
It really sounds like there are some much deeper issues that need to be addressed. To be upset that you aren't getting as much play as you used to, is one thing. But to actually self-medicate so as not to think about this is quite serious. Don't you guys agree?
BIKINIMOM said:
i feel she is perfect. i couldnt find anyone better. she is very caring, loving and supportive. shes basically considered family and im considered her family. the relationship is great i just always go on the internet and read about how "if a woman loses sex drive she is cheating on you!" i read into things a lot. i was addicted to ambien in college for 2 and a half years because i didnt feel i looked as good as my room mates. so im the one with the problem, not her. im just ruining it for myself
BIKINIMOM said:
I agree with Bmom but I don't think it's a relationship problem, he has a bigger problem. If he is stressed over not getting laid 4x a week whats going to happen when he has a mortgage and 3 crying babies. As for her schedule it will be like that for the next 20 years between working kids kids school sports glee club you name it.
You are right about the ebbs and flows ,our sex life ( over 37 years of it )has always been good but not always been frequent. And every once in a while we need to spice it up by adding variety and reinventing ourselfs.
My advice would be 1) See a shrink and learn to deal with stress. The secret is don't worry about what you can't change and do some thing about what you can change. 2) Change up your approach to sex. Sounds like you guys are not living together yet so where are you having sex ? I hope not in the back seat of the car or a $20 motel. Change it all up i mean change it all wear a differant colgne let her be on top, talk dirty,dress funny, bring her candy and flowers wear a wig,rent a different car,introduce yourself by a different name,call her Sasha, make it like it has never been before. maybe even try to do nothing but just KISS her the entire night. Do these thing and it may still be only once a week but you will both remember it like it was every night.
PS We are past mid fifties married since we were 18 and this morning Dee called me and asked if she can come by my office at lunch to give me a BJ. YEP VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE !!!!!
never did learn to spell
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markshark said:
Well those sentiments are sweet but NO ONE is perfect.
That you outline she is caring, loving and supportive is a good sign and means that you aren't just thinking with your sex organs.
But I still gotta say that the fact that you are so easily influenced by reading crap on the net and ignoring what you just stated above concerns me. I mean if she is REALLY caring, loving and supportive why would you care what some random online article says about anything? Don't YOU KNOW this woman?
