Time for an update since it's been a few days.
Even though this update won't sound very positive, it really is. So keep that in mind when reading.
The last few days have had some unexpected personal and physical challenges and I haven't been in the gym in 3 days. It seems like when it rains, it pours and I've just been pretty fatigued from yet more stress.
That being said, it's helped me to really evaluate where I'm at in terms of goals, which is what this 4 week period was all about. I won't make a final decision until next weekend, at the end of the 4 weeks, but I am leaning towards not starting the official contest prep on Jan 21. If I did, it would be 22 weeks out and I'd have to kick in to heavy duty prep mode and I honestly do not feel that I'm 100% there yet. I can smile and do all the "ra ra" cheering but reality is a little bit different. Prep, in my opinion, is something you need to be totally committed to....ya gotta be there 110% mentally and it involves a lot of sacrifice in the other areas of your life. My life has been so unsettled and stressful in the last 8 months and I honestly just don't think I have it in me to put myself right back into a stressful situation! A different stress but stress still the same and I'd be kidding myself if I said I wouldn't be chronically stressed hitting prep in a week. I need a month or two of just calmness and peace and the ability to focus on myself without running myself ragged.
There is a beauty to the sport, though, and that is that the stage will always be there.
Like I said, I'll decide for sure in another week but that is where I'm leaning. I'm going to continue to diet and train and keep moving in that direction but I still want the flexibility that will allow me adequate rest, guilt free if I miss a meal or a cardio session and I need to continue to build up my training regimen and strength. So...the goal has changed only in the sense of the timeline and urgency. And....if I still want to compete, I can hit prep mode in April or May and be in a much better position to start it. Hopefully, life will have settled down, I'll be in better shape physically and ready to hit it really hard.
I'm still gonna look good for the big 40th though. That is not an option!!