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Best Way to quit your yuppie gym!!

Phil King

New member
Six months ago, my wife decided to leave me. I can't really say it was a mutual decision, but now I've never been happier.

I had done a few short cycles for college footabll in my youth, but since I've been in the "real world" I've been clean. Part of the problem was I met mywife in college, and she'd seen me on a cycle. I respond very well, and I knew I couldn't hide it from her.

I have continued to lift though, at least five days a week for over five years. My lifts are pretty much equal to what I did in college with juice, and at the yuppie gym I work out at, I was one of the strongest people (three plates and change on bench in a plate where people stare at two and change). Anyway, once she left me I naturally decided to get back in serious shape. So, after months of lurking here I settled on a Anavar only cycle. 40mgs of ** a day for eight weeks. I think that stuff is underdosed, but I still gained 8 pounds and my bench went up to four plates. Now I was getting stares and loving it.

So, I hit a Winny/Eq/Test cycle. keeping the Test at 250mg a week to avoid mass water gain. Appetite and strength went through the roof! Started getting very vascular and very strong. Now repping the 4 plates. People were starting to ask what I was "doing." On leg press day, the gym manager actually asked me not to use so much weight because there wasn't enough plates for the other members! That's when I realized I had outgrown my gym.

Luckily, they had that deal where you get a free workout with a personal trainer when you join up, and I hadn't used it!
Two months ago, just as I began a 1 gram of test per week/ deca / Arimidex cycle kicked off with two weeks of two green giants a day (British Dispensory A Bombs), plus a little Halotestin for "an attitude adjustment" I signed up for my free session.

Day of the session I dress in my old full blown Venice beach late 'eighties gear. Black stretch shoets with line green stripes, black Otomix martial arts shoes, parillo power lifting belt, black Gold's Gym muscle t, and a friggin' black doo rag. Plus, I bring a boom box and my old metal mix tapes: Metallica, Gun's and Roses, Pantera, and above all Slayer.

The "personal trainer" who meets me is twenty years old, one-eighty, and love the jazzercise classes. No wait, i'm being too had on him. The stud muffin loves the cardio-box. So, I say, "Maybe you could do my routine with me, and evalute it?" He give me a goggle eyed look, but says, "Sure no, problem." Wait, I left something out, first he asks me "What are your fitness goals?" I gave him my best Clint Eastwood deadpan squint and replied, "Win Mr.Olympia." He just stared at his feet, then mumbled, "Well...maybe this isn't hte right place for you, you know." I just gave him the stink eye and replied, "I still get my evaluation don't I." He nods, and says, "Of course, sir."

My first work set on squats is 450, with Slayer's "South of Heaven" album blaring. I'm screaming and going to failure, making him spot me from behind as I force out three reps past failure. And then it's his turn to lift...

t have to give him credit, he made it through the squats, and half way through the stiff legged dead lifts before he ran outside and lost his lunch. I followed him out and bellowed, "You call yourself a f******* fitness professional! Get back in there and lift! Pain is weaknes leaving your body, bro!"

The next day the manager asked me to leave and gave me a full refund...not prorated...a full year refund.

Glad to be part of this awesome board.
 
LOL ... good job bro.

I used to be a personal trainer at Bally's,,, i swear, they are all a bunch of CROOKS! ..

I HAD to get tha fuck out of that atmosphere, they're all a bunch of pussies and scoundrels.
 
That one F$#$#$n great stroy bro. Happy to see your wifes leaving u made u go for your dreams. BTW I used to play South of Heaven all night long and sleep to it. Great stuff.
 
That sounds better than my planned approach. I want out of my contract and
plan to beat the shit out of a select few members to do it. I dont care if i get
arrested, I dont have a record so I dont give a rat's ass about going to jail
for a few hours until my wife makes bail. I have a few haters in my gym that
tend to gossip about so and so taking this or taking that.

Your plan sounds more logical and cost effective - but i want to teach a few
lessons before I get kicked out.
 
Funny shit, I love it when the 120lb weasels that work at the gym come up to me and tell me I'm doing shit wrong, like "You're not supposed to go that far down when you squat", or, "You shoudn't go heavy on that exercise".
 
My gym started offering the "workout tailored for every individual" I told them I wanted mine and could never get a reply. That's been over a year ago. I've seen the personally tailored workout programs they give people. Make the circuit on the machines. They'll achieve those goals overnight.
 
I love that stuff! Making me leave work with a smile and the urge to blast my Metallica tapes a little louder tonite during my workout!

There are more sales people and trainers roaming my gym - only one guy is what I'd call "large" (as in NOT an aerobics bun) and he's actually a former juicer w/ a 'tude that I knew from another gym. Looks like he gave up his size for khaki pants and polo T so he can be one of the sales people for this gym. I did the new member orientation thing for shits and grins -- the trainer basically said there was nothing he could do to improve my workouts - he suggested knocking my interval between sets down to 30 sec from 45....
 
Phil, if you can squat 450 listening to South of Heaven, try to lift 600 with REIGN IN BLOOOOOOOD!!!!!

Andre
 
no shit...i can understand why every test loaded meathead on here thinks that's hilarious and that YOU'RE THE MAN but jesus what exactly did you prove? that you can outwork a personal trainer who isn't running a gram of test a week? wow...big man. you are the shit. it's like when the elementary school bully who is a foot taller than everyone beats up the 65lb runt of the class. big fuckin deal.

and you wonder where the meathead stereotype came from...here it is to the tee.
 
sweet revenge

Just a quick reply to supersize me...

All I did is put the kid through the workout of his life and give him a lesson in INTENSITY. Who knows, maybe it will change his life. He had good genetics. Maybe he'll start coming at 4:30 am, cranking a little Pantera and pretty soon he'll move up to an XL polo shirt. Maybe in a year or two, he'll even register here.

It'sNot like I waited in an alley and jumped him in a fina rage. Where's your sense of humor? Afterall, he could have stipped lifting with me before he blew chunks.

After months of having trainers like him ask if they could "work in" as they took their New Balance trail shoe, ADDIDAS
sweat wearing, twenty-five year old business consultants and attorneys through a circuit workout, forcing me to strip off three plates, it was sweet revenge.

My only regret is I didn't get to finish my workout with a new personal max on bench.
 
I'm kinda getting sick of my gym too. Fuckin high school kids everywhere. I acutally had two of them come up to me and asked if they could buy some steroids from me. I got so pissed of cuz my brother was there too and he doesn't know and i don't want him to either. So i just told them to fuck off and never talk or look at me again. haha
cheers
 
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