Best masturbation technique?

[Hitler]

Im sick of the old fashioned shaft stroke. I wanna get off by myself and blow porn star loads for record distance. Please give me some tips on alternative masterbation. Links would be great.

 

[biteme]

Here's what you do. Take it from the Master Bator. Get on the internet and look at porn. Be patient. Don't start jerking at the first thing you see or that turns you on. Find several things worth jerking to. Then, start your jerking and stop right b4 the point of orgasm. Do this several times for at least 30 minutes. Remember to be patient. Don't let the wad fly. Be strong. After stopping short of orgasm several times, your body will have produced enough juices so that when you finally cum, it will be so intense that it will feel like your pissing instead. Sort of like the relief you get when you're about to piss your pants and you finally make it to the restroom. Which reminds me. Once at a topless bar in the restroom this drunk redneck was taking a piss beside me. He had to go real bad and I heard him say, damn this feels as good as getting a piece of pussy. I had to bust out laughing.

 

[prophet]

lube a tomato jar and fuck it.........or fuck between the 2 cushins in your couch i beleive thet call this "couch fucking"

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

I prefer the "inverted lefty" approach while using the hold back tactic biteme just explained.I get my "lefty" all lubed,or lathered,and "invert" it I then proceed to milk that mother trucker dry!If you read this post,you are now gay.

 

[Virtual Acid]

Every Time you Jerk off, God kills a kitten

 

[BigBazooka]

This new masterbating thingie I keep reading about... Is it the same thing as masturbating?

 

[masterpiece]

NO TRY THIS FELLAS

Take it from an expert. Go and get a nice silk sleeping bag, one that you don't ever really use. Lay that fucker on your bed and hump it and I promise u will nut all over the place. Just think about how good silk rubbing up against your balls and cock would feel. Been doin it since 6th grade and I gotta buy new bags every 3 months cuz I've destroyed the fucker with jiz stains all over it. The whole vasoline thing doesn't do shit for me, but I swear to God the sleeping bad feels almost like reel sex, Masterpiece

 

[notoriousQQ]

lmao

 

[bbforlife]

well i have this thing my ex wife got me. its a little pink rubber thing that is ribbed on the inside . i belive it called a "Boy Toy". She got it at one of those womens only sex toy parties. i must say it is really awsome, lol

 

[masterpiece]

DAMN

Could you give us a little more detail on this toy your ex-wife got ya, Masterpiece