If you don't dump her immediately and make her dead to you (no calls/emails/texts...NOTHING) you are a fucking loser of epic proportions.
I can't stress this enough.
There is no leeway...no compromise.
Make her dead to you. Completely. RIGHT NOW.
Fuck 'working things out', and fuck counselling. Bottom line is she doesn't respect you now, so how the fuck will she ever be able to respect you after you show weakness?!
That's it, that's all.
*** ONLY reason for an exception to these rules are if you could get screwed financially in a divorce, and need some time to consult with a slick lawyer and an even slicker accountant to figure out how to hide as many assets as possible. If you need to buy time to do this, then by all means it's okay to act like you're going to forgive her and work things out. Buy whatever time the lawyer and accountant need to protect as much of your present and future worth as is necessary.