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Bdsm???

  • Thread starter Thread starter heatherrae
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heatherrae

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So, I found out that the bf I had in Texas is into BDSM. WTF? I didn't know. I dug him, but evidently he would like to have tied me up etc. in the sack. LOL. Which got me thinking, I don't even know the proper role of the submissive in that sort of relationship during that sort of thing. I mean, is the submissive supposed to act like they are fighting to get free? act like they like it? act like they hate it? just lie there like a dead trout on the 5th of July?

:worried:

Screw that noise.
 
there's girls posting nude pics


gunna have to step your game up if you want attention
 
Walter Szczerbiak said:
there's girls posting nude pics


gunna have to step your game up if you want attention
lolololol
 
i absolutely do not like it at all. not one bit. i was this one girl who wanted me to be real rough with her. i thought she meant a little booty smackin and a little hair pullin but she wanted me to practically beat her. she wanted me to attack her and shit like that. i just couldt do it. i dont even like to play fight. someone always gets hurt and usually it isnt me and i feel like shit it happened. i am also not into being the one getting their ass kicked either. im a more sensual type than that.
 
not sure which switch is flipped in the brain that makes one decide to want their partner tied-up (save a piece of tape across their mouth around the time the credit card bills come in)----but i do not trust anyone enough to tie me up----my luck the house would catch on fire
 
heatherrae said:
So, I found out that the bf I had in Texas is into BDSM. WTF? I didn't know. I dug him, but evidently he would like to have tied me up etc. in the sack. LOL. Which got me thinking, I don't even know the proper role of the submissive in that sort of relationship during that sort of thing. I mean, is the submissive supposed to act like they are fighting to get free? act like they like it? act like they hate it? just lie there like a dead trout on the 5th of July?

:worried:

Screw that noise.

well what role do you like?
how much work do you put in to the event de jours?
50/50
60/40
70/30
80/20
90/10
 
bigmann245 said:
i absolutely do not like it at all. not one bit. i was this one girl who wanted me to be real rough with her. i thought she meant a little booty smackin and a little hair pullin but she wanted me to practically beat her. she wanted me to attack her and shit like that. i just couldt do it. i dont even like to play fight. someone always gets hurt and usually it isnt me and i feel like shit it happened. i am also not into being the one getting their ass kicked either. im a more sensual type than that.
I guess I could go along with it a little bit every once in a blue moon, but once it gets really kinky/fetish-y I begin to think it is funny or ridiculous and not sexy at all. I'm more into passion/sensuality.
 
Walter Szczerbiak said:
there's girls posting nude pics


gunna have to step your game up if you want attention
Trust me. I don't need attention from you noodlekegs. I couldn't care less about men these days. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to just become a lesbo and cut men out of the equation all together.

(Haven't you heard that I hate men?)
 
eddymerckx said:
not sure which switch is flipped in the brain that makes one decide to want their partner tied-up (save a piece of tape across their mouth around the time the credit card bills come in)----but i do not trust anyone enough to tie me up----my luck the house would catch on fire
I don't trust anyone that much either. It's not going to happen.
 
Walter Szczerbiak said:
there's girls posting nude pics


gunna have to step your game up if you want attention
If I wanted attention, I would post up my nudies. Haven't seen any of me, have you? You never will.
 
It's good to see that none of the men know shit about sex around here. Only cindylou could begin to answer the question....lol.
 
heatherrae said:
So, I found out that the bf I had in Texas is into BDSM. WTF? I didn't know. I dug him, but evidently he would like to have tied me up etc. in the sack. LOL. Which got me thinking, I don't even know the proper role of the submissive in that sort of relationship during that sort of thing. I mean, is the submissive supposed to act like they are fighting to get free? act like they like it? act like they hate it? just lie there like a dead trout on the 5th of July?

:worried:

Screw that noise.


the "sub" is actually the more dominate one, they are the person that controls the level at which everything goes to..
 
SpyWizard said:
the "sub" is actually the more dominate one, they are the person that controls the level at which everything goes to..
Oh really? So, what is it like? I guess it depends on the couple? I really think I would rather be the one beating the crap out of someone...lol.
 
I have banged chics that like it really rough, hair yanked, they like to be bitten, spanked, and just rough sex..This is not really my thing but I can get into it

I never met anyone that was into bondage though or hardcore s&m, I would NEVER let a woman tie me up.
 
Ever since I read Stephen King's "Gerald's Game" any potential idea of bondage lost all appeal.
 
eddymerckx said:
not sure which switch is flipped in the brain that makes one decide to want their partner tied-up (save a piece of tape across their mouth around the time the credit card bills come in)----but i do not trust anyone enough to tie me up----my luck the house would catch on fire


I have always thought that sexual deviants have had some sort of sexual abuse/rape at some point in there lives. Maybe not all but a good majority. I have not confirmed this but I could also not understand why anyone would enjoy this.
 
bigmann245 said:
maybe he wanted you to stick the quarter up his rear... thats why he got so mad about it.
ummmm...

yeah...

I think I'm just a vanilla type of girl.

I don't need all this fancy stuff to stay interested...lol.
 
heatherrae said:
Oh really? So, what is it like? I guess it depends on the couple? I really think I would rather be the one beating the crap out of someone...lol.


it's not about beating the crap out of someone..

and i'm a switch.. you can guess what that means..

most alpha males would love to not have to make decisions, and to release control, that's what it's about..

"beating the crap out of someone is not the turn on"
 
bigmann245 said:
i absolutely do not like it at all. not one bit. i was this one girl who wanted me to be real rough with her. i thought she meant a little booty smackin and a little hair pullin but she wanted me to practically beat her. she wanted me to attack her and shit like that. i just couldt do it. i dont even like to play fight. someone always gets hurt and usually it isnt me and i feel like shit it happened. i am also not into being the one getting their ass kicked either. im a more sensual type than that.

That's not normal, and I'd say that's one step beyond S&M.
 
heatherrae said:
So, I found out that the bf I had in Texas is into BDSM. WTF? I didn't know. I dug him, but evidently he would like to have tied me up etc. in the sack. LOL. Which got me thinking, I don't even know the proper role of the submissive in that sort of relationship during that sort of thing. I mean, is the submissive supposed to act like they are fighting to get free? act like they like it? act like they hate it? just lie there like a dead trout on the 5th of July?

:worried:

Screw that noise.

Have you ever role played?
 
SpyWizard said:
it's not about beating the crap out of someone..

and i'm a switch.. you can guess what that means..

most alpha males would love to not have to make decisions, and to release control, that's what it's about..

"beating the crap out of someone is not the turn on"
Oh, I don't know. I guess the whole thing is just a bit scary to me. I get worried about the psychology of why someone would like to humiliate someone else. I'm really not into that sort of thing. Then I worry about the psychology of wanting to dominate a female and whether they actually enjoy feeling superior to the woman or genuinely feel women are inferior, etc.

???
 
heatherrae said:
Trust me. I don't need attention from you noodlekegs. I couldn't care less about men these days. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to just become a lesbo and cut men out of the equation all together.

(Haven't you heard that I hate men?)
The feeling is mutual. :)
 
bigmann245 said:
i absolutely do not like it at all. not one bit. i was this one girl who wanted me to be real rough with her. i thought she meant a little booty smackin and a little hair pullin but she wanted me to practically beat her. she wanted me to attack her and shit like that. i just couldt do it. i dont even like to play fight. someone always gets hurt and usually it isnt me and i feel like shit it happened. i am also not into being the one getting their ass kicked either. im a more sensual type than that.

That's not bdsm...that's nuts. There's a motto that lifestylers use....safe, SANE, and consentual. (and no, I'm not a lifestyler)

As Spy said....it may seem to the uninformed that the sub is serving the dom...but it's the opposite.
 
A little light bondage and S&M can be fun every once in a while. You know, it's kinda like going out for, I dunno, Ethiopian food. Something you do every once in a blue moon, just for the hell of it, and then it's back to normal.
 
heatherrae said:
Oh, I don't know. I guess the whole thing is just a bit scary to me. I get worried about the psychology of why someone would like to humiliate someone else. I'm really not into that sort of thing. Then I worry about the psychology of wanting to dominate a female and whether they actually enjoy feeling superior to the woman or genuinely feel women are inferior, etc.

???

That's not BDSM.

Do some reading about BDSM it covers a lot of different activities and submissive/dominant applied to both men and women.
 
bigmann245 said:
i absolutely do not like it at all. not one bit. i was this one girl who wanted me to be real rough with her. i thought she meant a little booty smackin and a little hair pullin but she wanted me to practically beat her. she wanted me to attack her and shit like that. i just couldt do it. i dont even like to play fight. someone always gets hurt and usually it isnt me and i feel like shit it happened. i am also not into being the one getting their ass kicked either. im a more sensual type than that.

I had a girl who was the same way. She also hit me when I wouldn't smack her around and she did this while we were at it. After that I dumped her. Freaky stuff.

I can see maybe tying people up and doing something gentle but punching and shit is just plain nuts.
 
velvett said:
Have you ever role played?
I really guess I'm BORING. I just don't get into that sort of thing. I've dressed up for men before, but I feel absolutely retarded pretending to be a little catholic school girl or a naughty nurse. I never know what to say, and then I get sort of tickled because it just all seems so absurd and unnecessary to me. It feels so good to just be able to concentrate on the flesh on flesh feelings without all the added psychological stuff.
 
I sort of like being smacked in the face (lightly) but I'm not sure why. That is the extent of my kinkiness though.
 
heatherrae said:
I really guess I'm BORING. I just don't get into that sort of thing. I've dressed up for men before, but I feel absolutely retarded pretending to be a little catholic school girl or a naughty nurse. I never know what to say, and then I get sort of tickled because it just all seems so absurd and unnecessary to me. It feels so good to just be able to concentrate on the flesh on flesh feelings without all the added psychological stuff.


i role play in my head all the time

its like cheating but not cheating


lol!
 
heatherrae said:
It's good to see that none of the men know shit about sex around here. Only cindylou could begin to answer the question....lol.


<<< knows about sex, and JackShit too...
 
velvett said:
That's not BDSM.

Do some reading about BDSM it covers a lot of different activities and submissive/dominant applied to both men and women.
I'll have to read up on it. It all seems very complicated to me. I think I would feel like a fraud if I tried it, because it isn't something that crosses my mind when I think about sex.
 
johnny would love it when i would change my hair color all the time

it was like sex with a different girl for a couple days

guys have no imagination , you have to change your appearance, wigs, etc
 
cindylou said:
i role play in my head all the time

its like cheating but not cheating


lol!
Well I do that...lol.

Usually it is something like someone has hired me to be the prize for some champion boxer after he wins the title fight and has gone without sex during his training...

LOL...

I'm a weirdo.
 
heatherrae said:
I'll have to read up on it. It all seems very complicated to me. I think I would feel like a fraud if I tried it, because it isn't something that crosses my mind when I think about sex.


i think just for sex it would be fun to try

but for it to last outside of sex like some people do, fuck that! lol
 
heatherrae said:
Well I do that...lol.

Usually it is something like someone has hired me to be the prize for some champion boxer after he wins the title fight and has gone without sex during his training...

LOL...

I'm a weirdo.

ha thats awesome. I have similiar things as well. lol.
 
cindylou said:
i think just for sex it would be fun to try

but for it to last outside of sex like some people do, fuck that! lol
Oh, you mean they do it in their relationship, as in having the woman walking ten feet behind and scrubbing floors barefoot sort of stuff?

LOL...screw that!
 
heatherrae said:
Oh, you mean they do it in their relationship, as in having the woman walking ten feet behind and scrubbing floors barefoot sort of stuff?

LOL...screw that!


I think when it lasts outside sex and into the relationship the Dom might keep the sub on a leash or in a cage.

i coudl be wrong though too

someone can correct me if i am.
 
cindylou said:
I think when it lasts outside sex and into the relationship the Dom might keep the sub on a leash or in a cage.

i coudl be wrong though too

someone can correct me if i am.
actually, i could see being the domme in that sort of thing. woo hoo! Of course, I couldn't love or respect a man that let me do that to him, but it would be fun...LOL.
 
heatherrae said:
actually, i could see being the domme in that sort of thing. woo hoo! Of course, I couldn't love or respect a man that let me do that to him, but it would be fun...LOL.


I would try the sub for a day thats it. i couldnt be in a whole relationship like that


i doubt it would be my cup of tea.

who knows until you try though? lol
 
heatherrae said:
Oh, I don't know. I guess the whole thing is just a bit scary to me. I get worried about the psychology of why someone would like to humiliate someone else. I'm really not into that sort of thing. Then I worry about the psychology of wanting to dominate a female and whether they actually enjoy feeling superior to the woman or genuinely feel women are inferior, etc.

???


ahhh.. now i get it.. although there are parts of the BDSM that crap on one another, and burn, and etc etc.. that's not how it goes..

You only explore and do the things you like/want or rather enjoy.. if you don't want to.. you just don't..

suffocation, delayed orgasm, tease torture, and the list goes on and on.. only partake in the ones you like or want to try..
 
heatherrae said:
Well I do that...lol.

Usually it is something like someone has hired me to be the prize for some champion boxer after he wins the title fight and has gone without sex during his training...

LOL...

I'm a weirdo.


see, rape fantasy is a big one.. but with you having a safety word, you are never really out of control, or safe are you..??
 
call me crazy but I enjoy a nice butt/ thigh paddling
and with enough benadryl in my body I enjoy a snug latex dress now and again

oddly enough I don't much care for dirty talk
 
cindylou said:
I think when it lasts outside sex and into the relationship the Dom might keep the sub on a leash or in a cage.

i coudl be wrong though too

someone can correct me if i am.

Ack...I've never heard of someone actually using a cage...but there is something called "collaring"...but that can be very subtle...a necklace or ring or bracelet. But even that's taking it past dom/sub to dom/slave...very very few take it that far.

Heather...there's always a chance that one would run into a guy who was a dick and genuinely enjoyed hurting and humiliating women...but that's not the way it's supposed to be....a dom should cherish and adore his/her partner, and would ideally make said partner feel as if he/she did.
 
nefertiti said:
Ack...I've never heard of someone actually using a cage...but there is something called "collaring"...but that can be very subtle...a necklace or ring or bracelet. But even that's taking it past dom/sub to dom/slave...very very few take it that far.

Heather...there's always a chance that one would run into a guy who was a dick and genuinely enjoyed hurting and humiliating women...but that's not the way it's supposed to be....a dom should cherish and adore his/her partner, and would ideally make said partner feel as if he/she did.

you know way too much about this shit ms. freakaleek
 
heatherrae said:
It's good to see that none of the men know shit about sex around here. Only cindylou could begin to answer the question....lol.


lolz

Says the person that started the thread.
 
nefertiti said:
Ack...I've never heard of someone actually using a cage...but there is something called "collaring"...but that can be very subtle...a necklace or ring or bracelet. But even that's taking it past dom/sub to dom/slave...very very few take it that far.

Heather...there's always a chance that one would run into a guy who was a dick and genuinely enjoyed hurting and humiliating women...but that's not the way it's supposed to be....a dom should cherish and adore his/her partner, and would ideally make said partner feel as if he/she did.
hmmmm...I dont understand how if you love and adore someone you would want to make them wear a collar, like a possession.

???

I'm trying to get my head around the psychology of that.
 
sick sick sick

there ain't gonna be no pain or domination in MY bed......only happiness and pleasure for all there!
 
heatherrae said:
So, I found out that the bf I had in Texas is into BDSM. WTF? I didn't know. I dug him, but evidently he would like to have tied me up etc. in the sack. LOL. Which got me thinking, I don't even know the proper role of the submissive in that sort of relationship during that sort of thing. I mean, is the submissive supposed to act like they are fighting to get free? act like they like it? act like they hate it? just lie there like a dead trout on the 5th of July?

:worried:

Screw that noise.

Chances are you would have played a few games. fox chase a fake set up where he chases you around then devoures you. Hot and cold play . Candle wax dripping on you'r body then cold object such as a spoon from the freezer being rubbed across you're back.Cat and dog ,where to fight and put up and good struggle but submit to sex.
Most lamo's use bdsm as a excuse to tie a girl up and shove it in her ass and she can not say no gagged and bonded.

Turn it around on him if he wants to dominate you tell him he must submit first
cuckhold him and make him a real bitch. Make him vacum the house house naked with a pair up panties on his head. Throw him on a lease and pull him around like a doggie.Tie him up nude and throw some rubbing alcohol on his ball sack.

When a guy starts pulling that i wann tie you up and spank and beat you . Tell him you have something else in mind , chances are he will drop it really quick when he relizes you are his equal or atleast wont be a submissive very eazy.
 
heatherrae said:
I guess I could go along with it a little bit every once in a blue moon, but once it gets really kinky/fetish-y I begin to think it is funny or ridiculous and not sexy at all. I'm more into passion/sensuality.

I know what you mean it becomes commical after awhile , A local dominatrix used me as a prop at a club on fetish night. I am kinda beefey so I can take alot of abuse.
It is so funny I can't stop luaghing at the whole set up , they two leathered up hotties use a doubled leather strap on me , when it hits the skin it makes a explosive sound like flesh blowing off the bones. But in reality it just goes numb and you dont feel pain anymore.
Over and over mixing it in with a small cane,flogger and leather whip.

Nothing is sexy about it then , it is very intense it becomes funny! to the point I fall down luaghing

so yes once in a blue moon or every other month would be ok. But when it becomes a daily or weekly thing it could actually get borning or very commical ...

A girl at this event in the crowd stood up and yelled " stop it just stop please " then came over to untie me . I guess she had a mothering fetish becuase she took a towel whiped down my back and the blood where a few lashes cracked the skin. then she was telling me it was going to be o.k

I guess thier is a fetish for everyone I suppose
 
heatherrae said:
hmmmm...I dont understand how if you love and adore someone you would want to make them wear a collar, like a possession.

???

I'm trying to get my head around the psychology of that.

You aren't making them...the submissive wants it.
 
chazk said:
+1 chances are if someone has to think bout being submissive , then bdsm is not for them..
well, if being submissive entailed just lying there and eating snacky cakes then I would definitely be into that.

I should tell men I have a lazy ass fetish. :lmao:
 
chazk said:
Chances are you would have played a few games. fox chase a fake set up where he chases you around then devoures you. Hot and cold play . Candle wax dripping on you'r body then cold object such as a spoon from the freezer being rubbed across you're back.Cat and dog ,where to fight and put up and good struggle but submit to sex.
Most lamo's use bdsm as a excuse to tie a girl up and shove it in her ass and she can not say no gagged and bonded.

Turn it around on him if he wants to dominate you tell him he must submit first
cuckhold him and make him a real bitch. Make him vacum the house house naked with a pair up panties on his head. Throw him on a lease and pull him around like a doggie.Tie him up nude and throw some rubbing alcohol on his ball sack.

When a guy starts pulling that i wann tie you up and spank and beat you . Tell him you have something else in mind , chances are he will drop it really quick when he relizes you are his equal or atleast wont be a submissive very eazy.
LOL...what sort of people do you hang around with.

I dig the play wrestling thing, though, really. Everyone likes that, I bet.
 
heatherrae said:
why? what does the submissive person get out of it?

You've never been turned on by the idea of complete submission of control in the bedroom? Forget bdsm for a second...and look at it like this. There is something completely liberating and....empowering to choose to give up all control, but yes - it requires a LOT of trust. That's the dynamic you're not getting, though both spy and I said it...it's the submissive who always maintains control. The dominant partner is merely giving the submissive what he or she desires. I don't really get into the BDSM thing (don't ask why I know so much about it), but I'm not going to lie...there are aspects of submission that I definitely understand the appeal of. Hmmmm....I'm going to send you a (fictional) story I wrote a while back...might illuminate things a little...PM coming.
 
nefertiti said:
You've never been turned on by the idea of complete submission of control in the bedroom? Forget bdsm for a second...and look at it like this. There is something completely liberating and....empowering to choose to give up all control, but yes - it requires a LOT of trust. That's the dynamic you're not getting, though both spy and I said it...it's the submissive who always maintains control. The dominant partner is merely giving the submissive what he or she desires. I don't really get into the BDSM thing (don't ask why I know so much about it), but I'm not going to lie...there are aspects of submission that I definitely understand the appeal of. Hmmmm....I'm going to send you a (fictional) story I wrote a while back...might illuminate things a little...PM coming.
Okay, thanks. No, I'm not really turned on by giving up control. Actually, it scares me. I guess that is maybe why I can't get it.
 
nefertiti said:
You've never been turned on by the idea of complete submission of control in the bedroom? Forget bdsm for a second...and look at it like this. There is something completely liberating and....empowering to choose to give up all control, but yes - it requires a LOT of trust. That's the dynamic you're not getting, though both spy and I said it...it's the submissive who always maintains control. The dominant partner is merely giving the submissive what he or she desires. I don't really get into the BDSM thing (don't ask why I know so much about it), but I'm not going to lie...there are aspects of submission that I definitely understand the appeal of. Hmmmm....I'm going to send you a (fictional) story I wrote a while back...might illuminate things a little...PM coming.


i want the pm too. lol
 
In for when I get to a real computer. Subs are not often in control like many have made it sound. Sorta defeats the purpose of sub space , its also called topping from the bottom etc etc
 
I dated a local domme some years back........fun times. You have to be a slut to enjoy BDSM.........guilty as charged I guess....:whatever:....:lmao:


Doing stuff with complete strangers is whack though.......but with a SO that shit can get hot as hell. The woman I dated was a switch in personal relationships..........topping her was the hottest shit I've ever done. And god damn do those women know what they're doing when it's your turn to be tied up.............god damn!..... :p
 
heatherrae said:
I really guess I'm BORING. I just don't get into that sort of thing. I've dressed up for men before, but I feel absolutely retarded pretending to be a little catholic school girl or a naughty nurse. I never know what to say, and then I get sort of tickled because it just all seems so absurd and unnecessary to me. It feels so good to just be able to concentrate on the flesh on flesh feelings without all the added psychological stuff.



I agree that role playing can be awful silly and giggle fit inducing. However, being with someone who knows how to bring out the primal instincts in you is unbeleivable. With the right person, it's an awesome experience.
 
cindylou said:
johnny would love it when i would change my hair color all the time

it was like sex with a different girl for a couple days

guys have no imagination , you have to change your appearance, wigs, etc


I hated when my ex did that, it was like she was always trying to be someone else cause she felt she wasn't good enough to keep my interest. FYI, I loved that woman dearly and would have gladly spent the rest of my life with her "AS IS".......a sentiment she was incapable of 1) accepting and 2) returning in kind


:whatever:
 
velvett said:
call me crazy but I enjoy a nice butt/ thigh paddling



That gave me movement..............no seriously. I would tune your butt like a piano. I LOVE women that get off on a good spanking...........it usually makes them randy as fuck and soon they're begging for it..............mmmmmmmmmm, good shit!!.. :qt:
 
if i want to feel powerless i will just go stand in line at the DMV---or try and get my insurance company to pay for anything.
 
nefertiti said:
I'm serious. It's not.


you at leat know someone real well who's really into the lifestyle. You know way too much to just have picked some stuff up from a casual conversation or two.
 
redsamurai said:
you at leat know someone real well who's really into the lifestyle. You know way too much to just have picked some stuff up from a casual conversation or two.


I do, and that's part of it.
 
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