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Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advice!

deco

deco

New member
I've been dating this gal as you all might know, one who almost became my baby momma. To make things short, I always knew she was kinda nuts...

She's been using my computer and I've noticed in the trash bin, she has pictures of my ex, a couple of them from FB, shit I havent even seen. In the past, she's gone through my phone and a years worth of emails before so I suspected some bullshit again..

I went ahead and installed this thing that takes snapshots of what one does while they are logged on to the laptop.

I was unpleasantly surprised to see that not only does she obsessively searches on me on fb and tries and logs into my account and all types of creepy shit, SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO CREEP HER EX, HER EX'S GIRLFRIEND AND EXGIRLFRIEND. When I say creep I mean as in, she has her ex's ex-girlfriends online shop and email logins(you heard that right). If this was not enough, she has logins of 2 other girls. She uses these logins to creep her ex's girlfriends profile hella hard...

I am officially, creeped the fuck out! granted she dated this guy for 7+ years since high school, he treated her like dirt pretty much, especially last few years.
Now, I've had that similar type of a relationship with my ex where despite her being borderline an angel, I didnt give her time of the day and always picked friends over her, disregarded her etc etc and in the end, this girl would not leave me alone.. I mean you all know how this kinda shit goes...

So what the fuck do I do? I mean her old relationship left her fucked up no doubt, she also has pretty serious OCD issues. Do I deal with her further or just call it quits? I just dont think shes mentally there, I mean this is a legit stalking case here.

She's a great girl, amazing looking with a big heart for the people she cares but this is going too far. I know sheee got cought up with an Ex no one likes, her old friends were flaky fake manipulative pieces of work and since we started dating she;s come a long way, made new friends, her life is looking good. We have a lot of fun together, go on vacations, sex, humor you name it but theres this side of her where she's just downright possesive and stalkerish of her past (her OCD might play part in it). It's put a dent in our relationship where multiple times she's tried to hide our relationship from her ex and I was just shocked.. The guy is as deadbeat as they come, he cheated all the time, has been in rehab, is not even good looking or in shape or loaded for fucks sake. He's literally taken her V-card in high school and dated her for 7 years until she moved on to me, thats probobly his greatest accomplishment in life.

Anyway, When I met her she said she's single, I didn't know any of this shit until it started unfolding otherwise i'd most likely not have dealt with it..What do you people think I should do? I mean I love her, and no she doesnt cheat and has always picked me over her friends and anyone else for the most part.. I mean i've even broken up with her several times so that she would stop that whole bull where she'd hide pictures our pictures on vacation and shit like that from her ex and every time she would come back running after trying to fix with what i was not happy with... as sad as it sounds, this has been the only way to get things done around here.. This kind of bull has happened a few times but this is now the all times lowest Dissapointment i've had to put up with..

help me out here guys, i've moved in with ths girl and othrewise she's a great match who i thought about taking to the next level until this kind of things completely make me care less about what happens... Would you confront her about this? I mean what she's doing is borderline a felony with a few restraining orders sprinkled on top, I don't want her turning this way on me down the road, shes already trying to get a tattoo of me above her Vag since she has initials of her ex between her hip and thigh area. She says it'll signify her true love but I feel like I might get chopped up one day...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

gatemoney said:
She's cheating on you bro!
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fuck off noob
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

break up with her. Stalking is no good.
 
Yeh she's cheating on you or has and is guilty about it so she checks up on you. Guilty conscience. Now all women are kinda stalkers to an extent because they're nosey. Mine is but she doesn't hide our stuff like this girl is doing. Sounds like she's trying to play the field in case something else comes along. How long have y'all been dating?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

gatemoney said:
She's cheating on you bro!
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Lets just say thats not even a possibility at this point. I am absolutely certain in that. Sadly, I almost want her to cheat so to make it easier to close this chapter of my life. I dont even care at this point since i'm pretty much terrified wit whom i share the bed with..
 
Sounds like she's just fucked up because of her ex. Stick it out with her. She sounds like a cool chick, with shitty self-esteem. Give her a chance dude. If she's not cheating on you or lying to you then I'd keep her. She insecure because of her past, have a chat with her and boost her self image because that's the problem.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

those are big red flags , damn she's insecure I would get rid off her ass asap , run away now before is too late...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

overgreen said:
Yeh she's cheating on you or has and is guilty about it so she checks up on you. Guilty conscience. Now all women are kinda stalkers to an extent because they're nosey. Mine is but she doesn't hide our stuff like this girl is doing. Sounds like she's trying to play the field in case something else comes along. How long have y'all been dating?
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there's no cheating, i mean for as crazy as it sounds, we are together almost all the time and txt without a minute going by when we're not together. She would send her ex an occasional email with a picture of a dog she now has from when they got it together. he wouldnt even respond back besides an occasional happy new years or happy birthday email. He's blocked her cell phone and she wouldnt even be able to call the guy.. I mean the guy did get blindseded when she left him after 7 years so I can see why he would want anything to do with her..

it's not cheating, i mean these fights could lead to cheating down the road beause i feel like shes that kind of an insecure person who would just smooth her way into another relationship without ever actually being single. As of right now though, not chance of cheating..
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

No! She shouldnt have people's email and shop logins. No. I think it's too late though, now. She probably has hacked into your email account too. Delete it.

OCD does not cause someone to stalk either.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

first id go change all my user names/passwords, the most important being your home computer..

a key fob password combo would be the best choice..
 
JoJo1980 said:
Sounds like she's just fucked up because of her ex. Stick it out with her. She sounds like a cool chick, with shitty self-esteem. Give her a chance dude. If she's not cheating on you or lying to you then I'd keep her. She insecure because of her past, have a chat with her and boost her self image because that's the problem.
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I second this too! If she's a good girl just tell her to trust you and relax that stalker mess. Leave the past along. Just make her feel better about y'all. How long have y'all been together? I also would change my passwords to something she can't figure out and see what happens. See if she asks or try's to figure it out. Then call her out on trusting you.
 
read your post bro? seriously? you already know the answer...whatever happens now is on you
(not trying to be a dick, but seriously)

Sent from my SCH-I510 using EliteFitness
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

JoJo1980 said:
Sounds like she's just fucked up because of her ex. Stick it out with her. She sounds like a cool chick, with shitty self-esteem. Give her a chance dude. If she's not cheating on you or lying to you then I'd keep her. She insecure because of her past, have a chat with her and boost her self image because that's the problem.
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that's my theory but when i was going in this relationship i had a completely different image of her, I thought she's strong, independent, amazing looking but then all these preexiting conditions start popping up that I didnt sign up for and now I see her as a weak link, someone i can barely even trust. I mean, literally the girl was the inspiration behind my motivation. I thought she was hard to get because she's everything that I described earlier but it turns out she was hard to get because she could fall back on her ex... I ended up changing in a good way, my lifes become better since she came into my life, She's helped me get healthier, cooks and cleans and everything else in between but all this makes me look at her some weak malicious unworthy girl who's just going to ruin her as well my life just cause she cant close the old chapter in the book. I mean she takes it to another level to hang on to all her past which she says was everything that she didnt want and a lesson as to what she did want out of life.. It's just that now, her words dont mean shit to me..
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I mean I guess what I really want your guy's opinion is, would you confront her and try to hear her side or just write her off as crazy and break up without giving her the true reason...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Here's what I'd do if I were you:

wait til she falls asleep, then punch her in the eye and choke that bitch out.
 
deco said:
I mean I guess what I really want your guy's opinion is, would you confront her and try to hear her side or just write her off as crazy and break up without giving her the true reason...
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Come on bro dont be so fucking stupid. If you love her like you say you do of course you should 'confront' her and see what she says.

Ill say this though, the really worrying thing, to me at least is she is trying to keep your relationship a secret from her ex, almost as if she wants him back so she wants him to think shes available.
Talk to her, if you dont like what she has to say, move on
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I mean take into consideration this, the girl has OCD issues and absolutely hates when someone ignores her. It could be because her Ex hasn't responded to her happy v day email or their dog email and she's just losing her mind over to see why someone who she considered her friend and a fiance for 7 years just completely ignores her shit. Generally in their relationship when he would ignore her for days, would be when he was cheating and I think shes just desperetly trying to confirm it... this is the type of issues that i'm talking about when I say she cant let go of the past...


this was written by a doctor who developed a habit of peaking into his neighbors window..

"This only served to increase my anxiety, as I became desperate to have him and his wife understand that I was not some dangerous stalker, rather someone who was dealing with an acute anxiety disorder.

Keep in mind that OCD is a clinical syndrome/illness like depression. It's not something that you ask for or that you can control on your own. I think, in fact, that it's one of the most misunderstood diagnoses out there. People with OCD by definition have overdeveloped consciences and are typically concerned to the extreme with not hurting others (emotionally and certainly not physically). They tend to be intelligent, sensitive, and caring people who typically put the feelings of others before their own.

Unfortunately, the stalking-like behavior that may accompany this type of OCD usually leads those who come into contact with sufferers to fear that they are "bad" people, either (1) personality disordered or (2) delusional/psychotic. Niether of these conditions has anything at all to do with OCD. Therefore, OCD sufferers are often treated with a great deal of hostility.

I should also have added that the harrassment which occurs during the course of OCD is unintentional on the suffer's part. Therefore, by definition, it's not actually stalking. The anxiety can get so extreme that people can become blinded to the needs and boundaries of others. Oftentimes, people report that it's like waking up from a bad nightmare to find that you've emotionally harmed people while you were ill.

I'd also like to say that if you have this type of OCD, or any type for that matter, I would strongly recommend that you seek out a competent therapist and a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation."

I mean it's fitting
 
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Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

you can't help everyone..
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
I mean take into consideration this, the girl has OCD issues and absolutely hates when someone ignores her. It could be because her Ex hasn't responded to her happy v day email or their dog email and she's just losing her mind over to see why someone who she considered her friend and a fiance for 7 years just completely ignores her shit. Generally in their relationship when he would ignore her for days, would be when he was cheating and I think shes just desperetly trying to confirm it... this is the type of issues that i'm talking about when I say she cant let go of the past...


this was written by a doctor who developed a habit of peaking into his neighbors window..

"This only served to increase my anxiety, as I became desperate to have him and his wife understand that I was not some dangerous stalker, rather someone who was dealing with an acute anxiety disorder.

Keep in mind that OCD is a clinical syndrome/illness like depression. It's not something that you ask for or that you can control on your own. I think, in fact, that it's one of the most misunderstood diagnoses out there. People with OCD by definition have overdeveloped consciences and are typically concerned to the extreme with not hurting others (emotionally and certainly not physically). They tend to be intelligent, sensitive, and caring people who typically put the feelings of others before their own.

Unfortunately, the stalking-like behavior that may accompany this type of OCD usually leads those who come into contact with sufferers to fear that they are "bad" people, either (1) personality disordered or (2) delusional/psychotic. Niether of these conditions has anything at all to do with OCD. Therefore, OCD sufferers are often treated with a great deal of hostility.

I should also have added that the harrassment which occurs during the course of OCD is unintentional on the suffer's part. Therefore, by definition, it's not actually stalking. The anxiety can get so extreme that people can become blinded to the needs and boundaries of others. Oftentimes, people report that it's like waking up from a bad nightmare to find that you've emotionally harmed people while you were ill.

I'd also like to say that if you have this type of OCD, or any type for that matter, I would strongly recommend that you seek out a competent therapist and a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation."

I mean it's fitting
Click to expand...

Deco, OCD can be as silly as nail biting or as extreme as scrupulosity. OCD does not cause stalking, it might cause her to obsess about her potential to stalk and cause her to feel guilt for even thinking about it but if she is actually stalking she needs to get help, that does not sound like OCD. She just made a decision to cross the line just like everyone else. Talk to her and see if she'll see a psychiatrist, stalking is not normal behavior for anyone.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Stalking is typically associated with the cluster B disorders

Personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

read through some of those under cluster B...this does not sound like OCD to me, though I'm not a doc. Definitely get her to see someone, or break up...stalking is not good, hacking people's accounts, getting passwords etc is NOT normal behavior or even regular disorder..it's a major thing. What you are describing above could be Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, but that's not the same as OCD.
 
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Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
Deco, OCD can be as silly as nail biting or as extreme as scrupulosity. OCD does not cause stalking, it might cause her to obsess about her potential to stalk and cause her to feel guilt for even thinking about it but if she is actually stalking she needs to get help, that does not sound like OCD. She just made a decision to cross the line just like everyone else. Talk to her and see if she'll see a psychiatrist, stalking is not normal behavior for anyone.
Click to expand...

That's sort of how I see things...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
Stalking is typically associated with the cluster B disorders, not the C cluster

Personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

read through some of those under cluster B...this does not sound like OCD to me, though I'm not a doc. Definitely get her to see someone, or break up...stalking is not good, hacking people's accounts, getting passwords etc is NOT normal behavior or even regular disorder..it's a major thing.
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I mean what does this make me though? I mean I suspected it and I was right and it seems like it's like this every time I get a doubt, something shitty happens like this.. Am I a stalker as well for going this far to just log of what goes on on my computer??
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
I mean what does this make me though? I mean I suspected it and I was right and it seems like it's like this every time I get a doubt, something shitty happens like this.. Am I a stalker as well for going this far to just log of what goes on on my computer??
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No, stalking isn't looking for the truth w/in legal means. What else are you supposed to do?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
Stalking is typically associated with the cluster B disorders, not the C cluster

Personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

read through some of those under cluster B...this does not sound like OCD to me, though I'm not a doc. Definitely get her to see someone, or break up...stalking is not good, hacking people's accounts, getting passwords etc is NOT normal behavior or even regular disorder..it's a major thing.
Click to expand...

Also the most f'd up part is that she will deny all this happening until you show her concrete proof and she'll say that it's not about what I think is about and that I'm crazy when the her behavior when this kind of stuff goes down is same every time. U'll see signs of annoyance, signs of her being pissed of for no reason, doesn't talk as much etc etc. Without having to confront though she'll always say she has done nothing wrong and try to flip it on me. Won't admit being wrong unless absolutely cornered

She will also have days when nothing is wrong and she'll say she is not feeling the love from me just cause i didnt pay enaugh attention to her, shit like that
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
I've been dating this gal as you all might know, one who almost became my baby momma. To make things short, I always knew she was kinda nuts...

She's been using my computer and I've noticed in the trash bin, she has pictures of my ex, a couple of them from FB, shit I havent even seen. In the past, she's gone through my phone and a years worth of emails before so I suspected some bullshit again..

I went ahead and installed this thing that takes snapshots of what one does while they are logged on to the laptop.

I was unpleasantly surprised to see that not only does she obsessively searches on me on fb and tries and logs into my account and all types of creepy shit, SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO CREEP HER EX, HER EX'S GIRLFRIEND AND EXGIRLFRIEND. When I say creep I mean as in, she has her ex's ex-girlfriends online shop and email logins(you heard that right). If this was not enough, she has logins of 2 other girls. She uses these logins to creep her ex's girlfriends profile hella hard...

I am officially, creeped the fuck out! granted she dated this guy for 7+ years since high school, he treated her like dirt pretty much, especially last few years.
Now, I've had that similar type of a relationship with my ex where despite her being borderline an angel, I didnt give her time of the day and always picked friends over her, disregarded her etc etc and in the end, this girl would not leave me alone.. I mean you all know how this kinda shit goes...

So what the fuck do I do? I mean her old relationship left her fucked up no doubt, she also has pretty serious OCD issues. Do I deal with her further or just call it quits? I just dont think shes mentally there, I mean this is a legit stalking case here.

She's a great girl, amazing looking with a big heart for the people she cares but this is going too far. I know sheee got cought up with an Ex no one likes, her old friends were flaky fake manipulative pieces of work and since we started dating she;s come a long way, made new friends, her life is looking good. We have a lot of fun together, go on vacations, sex, humor you name it but theres this side of her where she's just downright possesive and stalkerish of her past (her OCD might play part in it). It's put a dent in our relationship where multiple times she's tried to hide our relationship from her ex and I was just shocked.. The guy is as deadbeat as they come, he cheated all the time, has been in rehab, is not even good looking or in shape or loaded for fucks sake. He's literally taken her V-card in high school and dated her for 7 years until she moved on to me, thats probobly his greatest accomplishment in life.

Anyway, When I met her she said she's single, I didn't know any of this shit until it started unfolding otherwise i'd most likely not have dealt with it..What do you people think I should do? I mean I love her, and no she doesnt cheat and has always picked me over her friends and anyone else for the most part.. I mean i've even broken up with her several times so that she would stop that whole bull where she'd hide pictures our pictures on vacation and shit like that from her ex and every time she would come back running after trying to fix with what i was not happy with... as sad as it sounds, this has been the only way to get things done around here.. This kind of bull has happened a few times but this is now the all times lowest Dissapointment i've had to put up with..

help me out here guys, i've moved in with ths girl and othrewise she's a great match who i thought about taking to the next level until this kind of things completely make me care less about what happens... Would you confront her about this? I mean what she's doing is borderline a felony with a few restraining orders sprinkled on top, I don't want her turning this way on me down the road, shes already trying to get a tattoo of me above her Vag since she has initials of her ex between her hip and thigh area. She says it'll signify her true love but I feel like I might get chopped up one day...
Click to expand...

use her imperitive to your advantage
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
Also the most f'd up part is that she will deny all this happening until you show her concrete proof and she'll say that it's not about what I think is about and that I'm crazy when the her behavior when this kind of stuff goes down is same every time. U'll see signs of annoyance, signs of her being pissed of for no reason, doesn't talk as much etc etc. Without having to confront though she'll always say she has done nothing wrong and try to flip it on me. Won't admit being wrong unless absolutely cornered

She will also have days when nothing is wrong and she'll say she is not feeling the love from me just cause i didnt pay enaugh attention to her, shit like that
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hmmm I don't know. Don't freak out yet, you can find flaws in just about anyone, talk to her first but don't water down stealing passwords and stuff, that is violating someone's privacy. If you are creeped out, don't ignore it... you need to talk to her about it for sure. See if she'll talk to someone. If she refuses to acknowledge what she's doing is wrong..and it IS lol then you've gotta make a decision I guess? Can you live with it?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
hmmm I don't know. Don't freak out yet, you can find flaws in just about anyone, talk to her first but don't water down stealing passwords and stuff, that is violating someone's privacy. If you are creeped out, don't ignore it... you need to talk to her about it for sure. See if she'll talk to someone. If she refuses to acknowledge what she's doing is wrong..and it IS lol then you've gotta make a decision I guess? Can you live with it?
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I'm not gonna live with this, this is first time someone's done this kind of shit to me. Would anyone want to live with something like this? i mean this is a person with who everyday we talk about how important honesty is
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Damn Bro. All this stalking mess definitely warrants a conversation. If she is willing to honestly discuss this with you then there is a chance. If she is in denial or just plain being dishonest then it is time to run. I feel you owe it to yourself to at least approach the topic with her. Then if you do break things off with her you know you at least tried. If some chic even went through my cell phone we would have a problem. I would never violate someone's privacy. And no one would be allowed to violate mine.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

If you don't break up with her right away, and take precautions to make sure she can't stalk you, then you are some kind of idiot. This girl is clearly fucked in the head...why deal with that at all?!
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

oil companies can make a difference
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

both of you need fuel to drive over to each other's apartments
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

to spy etc.
did that once 13 years ago
not going down that path again
I hope
fuc
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
I'm not gonna live with this, this is first time someone's done this kind of shit to me. Would anyone want to live with something like this? i mean this is a person with who everyday we talk about how important honesty is
Click to expand...

Yes
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I sold a copy of "Highway to the Reich"
using that song as the sale title
gone
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

man up
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

fakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk my life
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

the 9th and 10th SS actually held the bridge and the British surrendered
the United States and UK 30 corps didn't get there in time
embarrassing
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

all i can come up with:

1. marry her
2. post pics

not in that order
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

it's somewhat relaxing to get drunk and not have any fights to worry about
using some math I figure I've had 80 girlfriends (to be a girlfriend 30 day minimum)
and none of them hate me
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Can I have your k when you die?
 
Hes cheating on you bro.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

way too much shit up in this

cliff notes
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

somebody resurface that cindylou counterattack thread in which she used real names
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

she was shakin'
snapping her fingers
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

PM some mugshots
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I never expose any personal information
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Unfortunately, deco, stalking to that degree is more of an addiction, an obsession than an active choice to stalk. Talking to her likely won't make her stop for any significant amount of time, so if you can't deal with it, leave ASAP.

I dated a guy for 2 months almost 3 years ago...I still get texts and shit like "I hear you're this place with this person". Those people can't help themselves. It's usually not as easy as hearing someone tell you you need to stop and simply deciding to stop.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

EnderJE said:
Deco stuck his dick in crazy. Now he's gonna get stalked for life. I want his k if he dies.
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thanks

he is atracting the crazies cause he writes too much
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

AFeedz said:
Unfortunately, deco, stalking to that degree is more of an addiction, an obsession than an active choice to stalk. Talking to her likely won't make her stop for any significant amount of time, so if you can't deal with it, leave ASAP.

I dated a guy for 2 months almost 3 years ago...I still get texts and shit like "I hear you're this place with this person". Those people can't help themselves. It's usually not as easy as hearing someone tell you you need to stop and simply deciding to stop.
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that's reassuring... but yea i guess thats whatsup
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
that's reassuring... but yea i guess thats whatsup
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It's the truth, though. Those people legit don't stalk cuz they want to, they feel like they need to and are helpless to stop it.

I mean if you care about her, sit her down and talk to her. I just think the effort will prove to be futile.

Hope for the best, expect the worst. Sorry, bro. :)
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

You think she's going to chop you up cause she is looking at ex's and ex's gf's on fb?! Hardly!

It sounds like someone before her ex messed her up, namely her parents. Does she come from an unstable home?
Sounds like she had an addiction to the ex almost in a codependent way.

Of course talk to her about it. OCD is not an affliction that will cause her to go nutty. It's a real condition that is treated successfully all the time
If you really love her and want her to change her behavior, then why would you desert her? Support her. Tell her if she needs help, you will back her up.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

and just to add, I am sure if you put a "trace" on anyones net usage, you will see most of us do some weird shit on line.

What else has she done that has made you question her, besides this?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

How long have you been together?

Is she diagnosed OCD? on meds?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
You see, the older woman ask all the tough questions :-)

:rose:
Click to expand...

LOL

We're just so smrt! ;)
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I've never once heard that OCD caused stalking behavior. This is the first time I've even heard that. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, yes..not regular OCD.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I don't think he is talking about creeping someone's facebook profile. I think he's talking about accessing accounts.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I actively stalk all of your profile pages
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
I don't think he is talking about creeping someone's facebook profile. I think he's talking about accessing accounts.
Click to expand...

oh! She has the passwords to her ex's accounts?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

oh yeah, reread. She has their logins, meaning passwords? How did she get these people's passwords?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
oh! She has the passwords to her ex's accounts?
Click to expand...

aaaaand she has the passwords to her ex's ex's accounts.

That's effing weird. That's not plain ol' OCD, deco. She's using that as an excuse.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
I've been dating this gal as you all might know, one who almost became my baby momma. To make things short, I always knew she was kinda nuts...

She's been using my computer and I've noticed in the trash bin, she has pictures of my ex, a couple of them from FB, shit I havent even seen. In the past, she's gone through my phone and a years worth of emails before so I suspected some bullshit again..

I went ahead and installed this thing that takes snapshots of what one does while they are logged on to the laptop.

I was unpleasantly surprised to see that not only does she obsessively searches on me on fb and tries and logs into my account and all types of creepy shit, SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO CREEP HER EX, HER EX'S GIRLFRIEND AND EXGIRLFRIEND. When I say creep I mean as in, she has her ex's ex-girlfriends online shop and email logins(you heard that right). If this was not enough, she has logins of 2 other girls. She uses these logins to creep her ex's girlfriends profile hella hard...

I am officially, creeped the fuck out! granted she dated this guy for 7+ years since high school, he treated her like dirt pretty much, especially last few years.
Now, I've had that similar type of a relationship with my ex where despite her being borderline an angel, I didnt give her time of the day and always picked friends over her, disregarded her etc etc and in the end, this girl would not leave me alone.. I mean you all know how this kinda shit goes...

So what the fuck do I do? I mean her old relationship left her fucked up no doubt, she also has pretty serious OCD issues. Do I deal with her further or just call it quits? I just dont think shes mentally there, I mean this is a legit stalking case here.

She's a great girl, amazing looking with a big heart for the people she cares but this is going too far. I know sheee got cought up with an Ex no one likes, her old friends were flaky fake manipulative pieces of work and since we started dating she;s come a long way, made new friends, her life is looking good. We have a lot of fun together, go on vacations, sex, humor you name it but theres this side of her where she's just downright possesive and stalkerish of her past (her OCD might play part in it). It's put a dent in our relationship where multiple times she's tried to hide our relationship from her ex and I was just shocked.. The guy is as deadbeat as they come, he cheated all the time, has been in rehab, is not even good looking or in shape or loaded for fucks sake. He's literally taken her V-card in high school and dated her for 7 years until she moved on to me, thats probobly his greatest accomplishment in life.

Anyway, When I met her she said she's single, I didn't know any of this shit until it started unfolding otherwise i'd most likely not have dealt with it..What do you people think I should do? I mean I love her, and no she doesnt cheat and has always picked me over her friends and anyone else for the most part.. I mean i've even broken up with her several times so that she would stop that whole bull where she'd hide pictures our pictures on vacation and shit like that from her ex and every time she would come back running after trying to fix with what i was not happy with... as sad as it sounds, this has been the only way to get things done around here.. This kind of bull has happened a few times but this is now the all times lowest Dissapointment i've had to put up with..

help me out here guys, i've moved in with ths girl and othrewise she's a great match who i thought about taking to the next level until this kind of things completely make me care less about what happens... Would you confront her about this? I mean what she's doing is borderline a felony with a few restraining orders sprinkled on top, I don't want her turning this way on me down the road, shes already trying to get a tattoo of me above her Vag since she has initials of her ex between her hip and thigh area. She says it'll signify her true love but I feel like I might get chopped up one day...
Click to expand...

First, I haven't read any replies so this is my opinion based on your first post. Time to air that shit out and be honest with her. I'm willing to bet she wants to be caught so she can get a lot of shit off her chest. If you really love her and if she loves you, you have to tell her the shit has to stop. You guys will have one of those talks that's an all nighter and you'll feel better about it afterwards. You have to give her a chance after you tell her you know what's up and if it continues after that, gtfo.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
You think she's going to chop you up cause she is looking at ex's and ex's gf's on fb?! Hardly!

It sounds like someone before her ex messed her up, namely her parents. Does she come from an unstable home?
Sounds like she had an addiction to the ex almost in a codependent way.

Of course talk to her about it. OCD is not an affliction that will cause her to go nutty. It's a real condition that is treated successfully all the time
If you really love her and want her to change her behavior, then why would you desert her? Support her. Tell her if she needs help, you will back her up.
Click to expand...

Well her parents are divorced, I thought about that too but shes pretty cool with her parents. the only thing is that after she and her brother were born, the mom wasn't too inclined of taking care of them too much.. but I dont think that's it.

What it could be is that she has thse very maternal instincts with serious nurturing personality or however else you'd describe that, something that her mother didn't have. In any case, since these guy was a deadbeat and had to be bailed out and taken care of like a handicap, I think she developed these feeligns that he couldnt live without her and that he would relapse and do drugs without her, bullshit like that, the guy was dating other chicks while he was with her. This is the same way she treats her dog (now mine too I guess). The dog gets treated like a million dollar baby cuz it has some kind of a heart problem...

So the fact that i was kinda independent and didn't usually ask for help, made her feel like shes just floating in this relationship from one of the very first fights we've had. So i just kinda wrote off on ever doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after myself and the woman never seemed happier.. its as if I gave her a purpose to her life for as sad as it soudns...

in any case, none of this solves the problem. She's grassping to her past like there's no tommorow and pretends like she doesn't care, which could be a possiblity. I'll be honest, every once in like 8 months, i'll type in my ex's name on fb and see if anything pops up, but to be doing this obsessively is a different story..like I said, there's no cheating in this if anything, the ex bf that is ignoring her email that she sends every now and then is driving her nuts. The whole point to get over someone though, is to just get rid of all signs of that person until it doesn't bother you or ruins your relationships. I know that's what past 7 to 9 years of her life has invloved is time with her ex, be it good or be it absolutely shitty which has been the case for the most part, you can't really change that. These boundaries cant be crossed like that, the guys probobly happy to himself at this point so there's no point taking this to the level of stalking...how do you show a human how to close the chapter, things have never been better for her in her life yet she lets her obsessive behavior ruin everything. There's nothing left to grip and she even knows it...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
I've never once heard that OCD caused stalking behavior. This is the first time I've even heard that. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, yes..not regular OCD.
Click to expand...

That's why I was curious if she had actually been diagnosed by a doc or if it was more self diagnosis type thing. Her behavior does seem anxiety based on some level but not really OCD. I agree with you...more cluster B. From the info given. :)
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
Well her parents are divorced, I thought about that too but shes pretty cool with her parents. the only thing is that after she and her brother were born, the mom wasn't too inclined of taking care of them too much.. but I dont think that's it.

What it could be is that she has thse very maternal instincts with serious nurturing personality or however else you'd describe that, something that her mother didn't have. In any case, since these guy was a deadbeat and had to be bailed out and taken care of like a handicap, I think she developed these feeligns that he couldnt live without her and that he would relapse and do drugs without her, bullshit like that, the guy was dating other chicks while he was with her. This is the same way she treats her dog (now mine too I guess). The dog gets treated like a million dollar baby cuz it has some kind of a heart problem...

So the fact that i was kinda independent and didn't usually ask for help, made her feel like shes just floating in this relationship from one of the very first fights we've had. So i just kinda wrote off on ever doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after myself and the woman never seemed happier.. its as if I gave her a purpose to her life for as sad as it soudns...

in any case, none of this solves the problem. She's grassping to her past like there's no tommorow and pretends like she doesn't care, which could be a possiblity. I'll be honest, every once in like 8 months, i'll type in my ex's name on fb and see if anything pops up, but to be doing this obsessively is a different story..like I said, there's no cheating in this if anything, the ex bf that is ignoring her email that she sends every now and then is driving her nuts. The whole point to get over someone though, is to just get rid of all signs of that person until it doesn't bother you or ruins your relationships. I know that's what past 7 to 9 years of her life has invloved is time with her ex, be it good or be it absolutely shitty which has been the case for the most part, you can't really change that. These boundaries cant be crossed like that, the guys probobly happy to himself at this point so there's no point taking this to the level of stalking...how do you show a human how to close the chapter, things have never been better for her in her life yet she lets her obsessive behavior ruin everything. There's nothing left to grip and she even knows it...
Click to expand...


She's a classic codependent with the way you describe her wanting to fix her addict ex.
Addicts are cheaters and liars and can drive Mother Teresa to go off the deep end.
Show her compassion, talk to her and ask her if she is willing to get help.

Codependency - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I would not say she has a personality disorder (cluster B) by only these actions. It takes a lot of crazy behavior to get there.
We don't know enough to say anything cept that she is acting in a codependent way by needed to fix
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
oh! She has the passwords to her ex's accounts?
Click to expand...


yea she has access to his ex's ex girlfriends online store and fb and email access... this girl already accused her of stalking..

she also has passwords of 2 other girls and obssesevly creeps her ex's current girlfriends profile but doesn't have a password for that..

i kinda get the fact that she went through rough break up where the guy already had a girlfriend before they actually broke up but come on, he was cheating way before that and if anything hey even more reason not to like him. just because you lost your vcard to him doesn't mean you need to devote yourself to him for rest of his life and do everything as if someones watching over your shoulder...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Listen she is young, is a little messed up and may need some help to get past this.

Having passwords is not uncommon, but yes, creeping with the password is odd, but you know, I think if anyone here had passwords to someone they knew, they would be tempted to use them. Doesn't make her nuts, it makes her obsessed.
How did she get their passwords?

Confront her, tell her you know. All she may need is a dose of reality and that you know.
It's not creepy to me, but more sad that she is so consumed by this
 
Last edited:
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
I would not say she has a personality disorder (cluster B) by only these actions. It takes a lot of crazy behavior to get there.
We don't know enough to say anything cept that she is acting in a codependent way by needed to fix
Click to expand...

Right, I was just trying to say that I thought he was going the wrong direction (imo) with OCD. That does not sound like OCD at all, to me.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I've read through this entire thread twice and I'll I can tell is that this girl is attracted to total fucking douchebags.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

caligirl85 said:
How long have you been together?

Is she diagnosed OCD? on meds?
Click to expand...


she hasnt been diagnosed I dont think,she was on some kind of anti depreassant at some point but is otherwise anti pills. She wrote a paper on OCD while she went to college and how her abusive relationship has caused her to make things worse and even make her anti social until she moved away for school and started regaining her old self. She showed me the first half of the paper, second half being about the abusive relationship which she didnt want me to see. This also happened to be the time when she started dating other people and while she tried to date someone else twice during her 9 year relationship it has not made her get over him.. Now we've been dating for over 1 year and things otherwise seem fine and she says she's worked so hard to get over him and how it has finally happened with me etc etc and how thank full she is... seeing this kinda stalking shit just makes everything she says absolutely worthless, overreacting or not..

I'll be honest though, this is just about the only flow in the relationship so I dont have too much room to complain
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

thanks for the links btw.. you've all been pretty helpful..
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
Right, I was just trying to say that I thought he was going the wrong direction (imo) with OCD. That does not sound like OCD at all, to me.
Click to expand...

I agree, doesn't seem ocd. but we sometimes use these terms loosely when we are trying to understand an action
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

deco said:
she hasnt been diagnosed I dont think,she was on some kind of anti depreassant at some point but is otherwise anti pills. She wrote a paper on OCD while she went to college and how her abusive relationship has caused her to make things worse and even make her anti social until she moved away for school and started regaining her old self. She showed me the first half of the paper, second half being about the abusive relationship which she didnt want me to see. This also happened to be the time when she started dating other people and while she tried to date someone else twice during her 9 year relationship it has not made her get over him.. Now we've been dating for over 1 year and things otherwise seem fine and she says she's worked so hard to get over him and how it has finally happened with me etc etc and how thank full she is... seeing this kinda stalking shit just makes everything she says absolutely worthless, overreacting or not..

I'll be honest though, this is just about the only flow in the relationship so I dont have too much room to complain
Click to expand...

Believe me, she is OVER him, what she is not over or struggling to get over is the pain he caused her. It's called PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and is common in abusive relationships.
Addicts are NOTORIOUS for abusing their loved ones.
Believe me, I know! The psychological abuse caused by all the lying, cheating and sick actions of my ex's put me in a tail spin. I had to go to 9 months of PTSD therapy to deal with the horrible things that I put up with.

Just give her a chance and talk to her. Support her if this is true love cause true love is hard to find and we all grow and we all change if we put a true effort into it.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
Believe me, she is OVER him, what she is not over or struggling to get over is the pain he caused her. It's called PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and is common in abusive relationships.
Addicts are NOTORIOUS for abusing their loved ones.
Believe me, I know! The psychological abuse caused by all the lying, cheating and sick actions of my ex's put me in a tail spin. I had to go to 9 months of PTSD therapy to deal with the horrible things that I put up with.

Just give her a chance and talk to her. Support her if this is true love cause true love is hard to find and we all grow and we all change if we put a true effort into it.
Click to expand...

yea im reading up on it right now... that actually sounds like all that shiz i had to go through her at one time or another...

her sleep was fucked for a while, panic attacks, she gets super quiet and uncomfortable before going out sometimes even though shes gorgeous, bunch of other weird shiz like that...
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

blueta2 said:
Believe me, she is OVER him, what she is not over or struggling to get over is the pain he caused her. It's called PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and is common in abusive relationships.
Addicts are NOTORIOUS for abusing their loved ones.
Believe me, I know! The psychological abuse caused by all the lying, cheating and sick actions of my ex's put me in a tail spin. I had to go to 9 months of PTSD therapy to deal with the horrible things that I put up with.

Just give her a chance and talk to her. Support her if this is true love cause true love is hard to find and we all grow and we all change if we put a true effort into it.
Click to expand...

Yes
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I feel her pain. Just love her, respect her and if she gets out of hand again, you may need to detach until she can heal properly.
I know I could not be in a relationship again until I healed. And even now in my new relationship, there are bumps, but my bf understand what I went through. We all need to tolerate when we love. It's just life.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Just the other side of the coin...I'm sure it sucks to have your email or facebook accounts hacked or invaded by someone. It's not fun to be watched. YOu might bring that up and ask her how she'd feel if someone did that to her. She might not have thought about it that way.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

cindylou said:
Just the other side of the coin...I'm sure it sucks to have your email or facebook accounts hacked or invaded by someone. It's not fun to be watched. YOu might bring that up and ask her how she'd feel if someone did that to her. She might not have thought about it that way.
Click to expand...

thanks cindy thats a graet point. Blueta thanks for the advice as well, all this made me settle down a bit.
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

welcome.....good luck
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

im waiting on confronting, i want to see how often this happens.. as of right now every time she logs on she goes to her ex's ex girlfriends email account even though it doesnt even look like that girl uses that account
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

what does she do while she's logged in this account? Just check on her ex? She does this everyday?
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Wow, she's a loser.
 
She just logs in and doest realy do shit I guess she's tryin to see If she sees anything from her ex on there. It's like a compulsive behaviour as of she's still tryin to bust him since he would alwys just deny it. But come on, this is takin it tooo far
 
Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

My son's mother does all sort of stalkerish stuff like that.Bish makes up fake sns on facebook and requests girls on my page and then start bothering them lmao .Had to make my friendlist private

Woman are stalkers and crazy bro.This is not out of the norm for them
 
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