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My teenage son

just...v said:
That is not how I worded it.

Women have all the power in these situations and men have no say. I am not taking responsibility from my son. I did what I could on my end, but condoms break, slip off, whatever. I talk to him about not having sex, about the possible effects on her life not just his and if he cares about her he will wait, blah blah blah. But there needs to be back up birth control.

And it is my business. If she ends up pregnant, it affects me, BOTH my sons, their retarded father, not just her and her family. I would never allow my son to walk away and not take responsibility.
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It doesn't matter how you worded it. She immediately pictured a 250lb dude that just escaped from prison coming after her Polly purebred virgin daughter.
 
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zwhit said:
parenting advice on teen sex is something that probably shouldn't come from a Mormon virgin

:rolleyes:
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Since her goal is to keep her son's pants on, and the principles I was raised with are what taught me to do the same, I think I'm probably the best person here to ask, especially since I was a role model to a cousin who did make the mistakes that V is trying to protect her son from and I know what should have been done to avoid it, which is exactly what V has just done.

You might think it's funny to poke fun, and I've got thick skin, but when it's somebody's child and they are looking for help on a very important issue, maybe you should just shut the fuck up.
 
just...v said:
Yea....about that....

So mom called me back, I just told her that he daughter seemed like a lovely girl, blah blah blah, she said my son was a very respectful young man and she was excited to finally meet her daughters boyfriend. Then I told her that I picked up my son's cell phone and discovered some disturbing texts and I'm concerned about sex. She told me that she will not be having my son over anymore, lol (fine by me) and she will discuss it with her husband. I told her that I felt that keeping them completely apart may not be possible. I felt they will try to get together, I very gently suggested birth control. She sucked her chair up her ass and kinda shut down on me. I decided that maybe now wasn't the time to go on suggesting the types I would put her on. We had a tense good bye.


oh yea.....

And my son won't really talk to me. And he wants to live with his dad.

Fun fuckin times :(
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That was a stupid move . You need to stop being so involved in your sons life your only pushing him Away
 
just...v said:
I just told him before he got out of the care that I knew he was mad, but i really really love him.

He didn't say anything back.
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It's fine. He loves you too. The silent treatment is "payback" because he knows it will make you feel bad, and somehow be justified in doing so because the way he feels is "your fault".

This is actually much better than an open yelling argument, because him being silent means he respects you too much to openly yell at you and tell you to "eff off".

If he does do that, DO NOT yell back at him.

If he shuts you out for more than another week, then you need to talk with him. Until then, let him have his space, but keep an eye on any atypical behavior you wouldn't expect from him even when he's bummed out.
 
Aplopez8 said:
That was a stupid move . You need to stop being so involved in your sons life your only pushing him Away
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Disagree! She handled that perfectly.

Her son will get over being butt hurt and parents of daughter will realize she is no angel and start watching her more closely or get her on the pill.

Current feelings are temporary and collateral damage for doing the right thing.
 
Aplopez8 said:
That was a stupid move . You need to stop being so involved in your sons life your only pushing him Away
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*you're

Also, you are wrong.

A parent should be very involved in their child's life. A teen does need their space and privacy, but if you come across something that gives you reasonable suspicion that they are doing something you know is wrong for them, their privacy takes a back seat to their well-being and safety.

A parent "not being so involved" is why so many teenagers do such stupid shit.
 
dabuffguy said:
Since her goal is to keep her son's pants on, and the principles I was raised with are what taught me to do the same, I think I'm probably the best person here to ask, especially since I was a role model to a cousin who did make the mistakes that V is trying to protect her son from and I know what should have been done to avoid it, which is exactly what V has just done.

You might think it's funny to poke fun, and I've got thick skin, but when it's somebody's child and they are looking for help on a very important issue, maybe you should just shut the fuck up.
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I wasn't poking fun. I was being dead serious. It looks stupid as hell to me, you giving out parenting advice when you have no kids of your own and your religious views and upbringing are much different than anyone else And then you "reprimand" someone else for messing around. If you're going to call someone else out for doing stupid shit, expect the same in return. I even agree with some of what you posted but your in here giving out advice like you've raised 12 kids to adulthood.
 
zwhit said:
I wasn't poking fun. I was being dead serious. It looks stupid as hell to me, you giving out parenting advice when you have no kids of your own and your religious views and upbringing are much different than anyone else And then you "reprimand" someone else for messing around. If you're going to call someone else out for doing stupid shit, expect the same in return. I even agree with some of what you posted but your in here giving out advice like you've raised 12 kids to adulthood.
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*you're


All I know is that I've experienced this situation almost in its exactness, and I am giving my input based upon what I've experienced. I am not a parent, but I kind of was while going through this.

Didn't mean to be a dick to you. Okay, maybe I did. But I shouldn't have. My apologies.
 
dabuffguy said:
*you're


All I know is that I've experienced this situation almost in its exactness, and I am giving my input based upon what I've experienced. I am not a parent, but I kind of was while going through this.

Didn't mean to be a dick to you. Okay, maybe I did. But I shouldn't have. My apologies.
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you weren't a dick to me. if you were, it wasn't a big enough dick for me to notice. :rainbow:

no homo
 
V, as a mom of both a teen son and a pre-teen daughter, I have one thing to say: YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. The girl's mom probably had some clue things were gettin' hot and heavy between her daughter and your son, hence them having him over to meet him, but even if she didn't she needs to know just HOW hot and heavy things were gettin'. I know if it were my daughter involved, I would want to be told if her boyfriend's mom knew something I possibly didn't. Does that mean that it would be a comfortable conversation for me? No. Does that mean I might go quiet as I try to figure out WTH to do with the information? Probably. Don't sweat about it. Just try to make sure all involved know that the lines of communication are open on your end and that you're willing to discuss this with any/everyone involved.

HTH
 
What you did was fine, I would have done the same thing, however, all you can do is talk to him/them about it, to abstain from it (if thats what you wish) although, in relatively if they want to do it, they will. So either discuss abstinence for a certain period of time, or, all together, or speak about safe sex and the consequences if this approach isn't taken. be blunt and harsh, let them know reality, its not a fantasy i.e porn but the real deal.
 
just...v said:
But I have to remember that it's the hard things that are the right things sometimes. I'm not here to be his best friend or win a popularity contest, I'm here to be his mother.

That's why I don't care if I stepped on the girl's mom's toes. I have to protect my son.
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Yes you are a mother first, your job is not to his friend. He will not like all the choices you make for him as a child now but when he is older he will appreciate the hard work and effort you put into making sure he didn't ruin his life at 14 or 15.
Parents who try to be their children's friend fail their children. Parents should have their own friends and kids their own friends. Now that doesn't mean to treat your kids like shit. Lastly, friends don't always have their friends best interest at heart but parents better damn well have it.
So if he doesn't speak to you for a few days. That just means you probably did the right thing. Suck it up and enjoy the peace and quite for a few days. This coming from a guy with 50/50 custody of 4 girls. It ain't easy.


Sent from my iPhone using EliteFitness app
 
dabuffguy said:
Haha

Easy on the ladies bro.
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yes. On the new ones anyway.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/chat-conversation/chat-conversation-rules-please-read-706531.html

SouthernLord said:
5. Don't purposefully drive women away from this den of testosterone. It's good to have some females around. So when new females posts here, let's welcome them instead of immediately "hazing" them into C&C. Let them start to like it here, then haze them (when they know we're only joking with them and don't hate them)! :evil:
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Thank you.
 
Dial_tone said:
It doesn't matter how you worded it. She immediately pictured a 250lb dude that just escaped from prison coming after her Polly purebred virgin daughter.
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Uh no. She has met my son on several occasions. She seemed to approve of him and knew that they were dating.
 
kitstreasure said:
V, as a mom of both a teen son and a pre-teen daughter, I have one thing to say: YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. The girl's mom probably had some clue things were gettin' hot and heavy between her daughter and your son, hence them having him over to meet him, but even if she didn't she needs to know just HOW hot and heavy things were gettin'. I know if it were my daughter involved, I would want to be told if her boyfriend's mom knew something I possibly didn't. Does that mean that it would be a comfortable conversation for me? No. Does that mean I might go quiet as I try to figure out WTH to do with the information? Probably. Don't sweat about it. Just try to make sure all involved know that the lines of communication are open on your end and that you're willing to discuss this with any/everyone involved.

HTH
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Thanks.

I hoped she would take the news well, I can say she took it better than I thought she would. They do have the girl after all and I think it's a little harder to take when it's your daughter. I know I'd be really upset if I just found out and the other parent knew all along.
 
kitstreasure said:
V, as a mom of both a teen son and a pre-teen daughter, I have one thing to say: YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. The girl's mom probably had some clue things were gettin' hot and heavy between her daughter and your son, hence them having him over to meet him, but even if she didn't she needs to know just HOW hot and heavy things were gettin'. I know if it were my daughter involved, I would want to be told if her boyfriend's mom knew something I possibly didn't. Does that mean that it would be a comfortable conversation for me? No. Does that mean I might go quiet as I try to figure out WTH to do with the information? Probably. Don't sweat about it. Just try to make sure all involved know that the lines of communication are open on your end and that you're willing to discuss this with any/everyone involved.

HTH
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you're knot Dr. Phil
 
You're right, Pick. I'm not an old, fat, bald man claiming to have degrees and qualifications I don't. Wouldn't want to be him either.
 
miplank said:
Cindy...she's drinkin outta cups
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cindy doesn't have the time nor patience for cups.


She goes straight to the bottle (of Captain Morgan)!!!

2who97d.jpg
 
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