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Women: would you marry a guy without a diamond ring?
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hamstershaver
New member
no kiddingperkele said:
ok, Ill bite :LOL
If a man is THAT attached to his bank account and NOT willing to part with his money for something like an engagement ring for the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, then it is probably indicative of a deeper problem or issue in the relationship or a problem within himself.
Frankly, Ive never heard of a man getting THAT torn up or upset about buying a ring. Its supposed to be a happy and touching moment. If I was a man, Id LOVE and be excited about picking out and buying a ring for my soon-to-be wife. Isnt that how it's supposed to be?
Especially if he has the money.
If a man is THAT attached to his bank account and NOT willing to part with his money for something like an engagement ring for the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, then it is probably indicative of a deeper problem or issue in the relationship or a problem within himself.
Frankly, Ive never heard of a man getting THAT torn up or upset about buying a ring. Its supposed to be a happy and touching moment. If I was a man, Id LOVE and be excited about picking out and buying a ring for my soon-to-be wife. Isnt that how it's supposed to be?
Especially if he has the money.
mountain muscle
New member
I think that it shouldn't. But the prevalent attitude is the bigger the ring, the more he cares.
I think it is horseshit but what do I know?
If I find a girl I want to marry, ad I will only marry someone I am certin about, I will give her a ring better than she ever expected and probably more than I can afford. Along with a prenup.
Yep I am such a romantic.
Seriously if I think it is THE woman, I wouldn't have trouble doing it.
You should read Dirty D's stuff in her gallery. So True, So sad. But love is blind, and sometimes broke after the divorce. LOL
I would just consider it a symbol of my feelings and commitment for her.
Personally, I don't think if your are truely in love, the size, type or lack of ring should matter.
Those things can be sorted out later.
The most important is you commitment to each other.
Yes, I am still single , so don't listen to me.
I think it is horseshit but what do I know?
If I find a girl I want to marry, ad I will only marry someone I am certin about, I will give her a ring better than she ever expected and probably more than I can afford. Along with a prenup.
Yep I am such a romantic.
Seriously if I think it is THE woman, I wouldn't have trouble doing it.
You should read Dirty D's stuff in her gallery. So True, So sad. But love is blind, and sometimes broke after the divorce. LOL
I would just consider it a symbol of my feelings and commitment for her.
Personally, I don't think if your are truely in love, the size, type or lack of ring should matter.
Those things can be sorted out later.
The most important is you commitment to each other.
Yes, I am still single , so don't listen to me.
U
Ulcasterdropout
Guest
Don't do it...
I honestly can't say that I am tight with my money. I am the guy who blew $200 in 10 minutes at the casino while I was living paycheck to paycheck and thought nothing of it. I also haven't been back to the casino since (damn automatic card shufflers).
Money comes and goes.
You might not be able to buy a woman's affection, but you can certainly buy some incentive.
Money comes and goes.
You might not be able to buy a woman's affection, but you can certainly buy some incentive.
boner, i just took you off my k list today.. i thought you were gone for good lol 
Smurfy said:
Diamonds are such a scam. They have no inherent value, are not traded as a commodity, etc.
The prices are kept high by a cartel, and are made profitable by using African kids to mine them for a dollar a week or something.
Russia has an assload of diamonds, but the cartel pays off the Russian government to limit the supply. They even paid off the USSR government.
A diamond is forever.
So is knowing that the ring you gave your girl was probably pulled from the Earth by a one armed African kid who had his other arm sliced off in a territorial war involving Ivory Coast and Liberian guerillas.
So is the fact that a handful of people have become insanely rich off of trading these things around the dead and malformed kids who mine them.
And on top of that, one or two technologicqal breakthroughs will drop the price of your $10K ring to about $11.79, when diamonds become the market equivalent of graphite.
But it's special. You love her.
Buy her a car instead.
slickdadd
New member
I guess I just have a fundamental problem with the belief that my love or care for another person can be boiled down to a material object. Traditionally I don't really care much for or get much out of material things.
That said I certainly wouldn't get my to-be wife some insulting cheapskate ring. I'd want to get her something nice. I just don't see the reason behind a guy putting himself in massive debt and struggle to buy his wife some extravagant ring so she will marry him. That is not the type of relationship I want to be in.
That said I certainly wouldn't get my to-be wife some insulting cheapskate ring. I'd want to get her something nice. I just don't see the reason behind a guy putting himself in massive debt and struggle to buy his wife some extravagant ring so she will marry him. That is not the type of relationship I want to be in.
velvett said:
If I asked you to marry me, I would have a big diamond in my hand. Flawless too, tastefully set so as not to be gaudy. Platinum? Probably. Maybe even palladium, which is a multiple of the cost of platinum. No expense spared.
Maybe some other stones in there too, sapphire, ruby... or maybe those would be in the necklace / bracelets that I already bought you...
But definitely no jade, since you're already jaded enough.
Damn!
Jewelry giving is just a tradition which should not be forced upon anyone.
Razorguns
Well-known member
Technology is only about a couple years away from making man-made diamonds that are INDISTINGUISHABLE from mined-diamonds.
That is if the Diamond Mafia DeBeers doesn't put a few bullets into the companies that make 'em and end that realm right there.
The monopoly by DeBeers will end soon enough though. It's a daily struggle for them to keep a iron-first clench on the market with the internet, global economy and new technologies continually chippin' away at them. And good riddance too.
That is if the Diamond Mafia DeBeers doesn't put a few bullets into the companies that make 'em and end that realm right there.
The monopoly by DeBeers will end soon enough though. It's a daily struggle for them to keep a iron-first clench on the market with the internet, global economy and new technologies continually chippin' away at them. And good riddance too.
Lumberg
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
That's what I;m talking about. I was talking about this with someone. I was like, it's such an extravagant and useless thing. She wants a sign of commitment? How about I put her on the title of my car? My house even? Then we have more money with which to start a new life. But no, she wants a flashy ring to show off to her friends and family.
How much sense does that make?
T
The Shadow
Guest
Smurfy said:
so.... a committed loving relationship HAS to involve a ring then?
Forge
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
Sigh.
While I agree with your investment analysis of the value of diamonds, you are missing the whole point of why you buy the ring in the first place Matt. It's not about future values, or long term investments. It's not something you will want to take a look at years later and get upset because it lost value, because it loses value the moment you buy it.
A wedding ring is a symbol of your love for a woman, it's tradition, and the fact is that most women today are groomed to expect the diamond engagement ring and they want that ring. Sure a car might be a better monetary investment, but you have to give the woman what she wants, not what you think is best for her. Fact is most women enjoy showing off their diamond engagement ring, it's bragging rights. My ex hardly ever wore jewelry, but when I bought her an expensive beautiful engagement ring she wore it every chance she got, she showed it proudly to everyone she could. She didn't do that because she liked wearing rings, she didn't do it because it was worth alot, she did it because it was a beautiful symbol of how I felt about her. A car wouldn't have gotten the same reaction.
If I ever get married again and if she wants a diamond ring you can be damn sure she's getting a ring she can be proud of. Because if I'm marrying her then she's worth it.
fireflyer
New member
I'm no expert but my ex was really impressed by the ring I got for her. She is Irish so I went to a Celtic jeweler and commissioned a Claddagh ring that has a small heart shaped diamond at the center and rubies in the crown. It's done on platinum. The rings interlock - the band is the hands and the crown and the wedding ring is a band with the heart. It only cost me $1700 five years ago.
Anyway, I'm saying be thoughtful and creative - it'll go further then just throwing a lot of cash at an ugly ring.
Anyway, I'm saying be thoughtful and creative - it'll go further then just throwing a lot of cash at an ugly ring.
T
The Shadow
Guest
Diamonds are a little cliche'
...think Tanzanite
...think Tanzanite
)
I would, definitely.
today is my two year anniversary with my boyfriend and we're talking about engagement. I want a ruby ring, not diamond.
today is my two year anniversary with my boyfriend and we're talking about engagement. I want a ruby ring, not diamond.
flexygrl
New member
When my ex proposed I had a 2 carat rock. It was gorgeous. Woman would stop me on the street to comment about it. And you know what?!?
It meant absolutely nothing. I don't even need a ring next time. The money is better served for a down payment on a house. I still want a nice wedding but jewlery, imo is stupid. My new thing is besides my wedding band, all of my jewlery is either bought by me or my family. I didn't keep my engagement ring or wedding band. I didn't want it anymore.
So, that's my opinnion. Before my divorce, yes it was important to me. Now, well I know better...
It meant absolutely nothing. I don't even need a ring next time. The money is better served for a down payment on a house. I still want a nice wedding but jewlery, imo is stupid. My new thing is besides my wedding band, all of my jewlery is either bought by me or my family. I didn't keep my engagement ring or wedding band. I didn't want it anymore.
So, that's my opinnion. Before my divorce, yes it was important to me. Now, well I know better...
courtneybcca
New member
Forge said:
Wow a guy actually nailed it right on the head!!…. I ring is not about wearing jewelry it is a symbol of your love for your lady…. That being said I also would not want my b-friend to go into crazy dept either to buy me one. If I were very sure about the relationship I would marry someone without a ring. Actually I did marry my high school sweetheart without a ring. But he had given me a promise ring years before that I always wore on my wedding ring finger. I am sure it wasn’t worth much but the thought and the way he gave it to me is what will stick in my mind forever. It was also a sign to other boys that I was taken. So it is also a useful tool to keep other boys away. If I am going into an environment that I don’t want to be bothered, I have a fake flashy engagement ring that I wear to left alone and it usually works.
Lumberg
New member
courtneybcca said:
LMAO at the fake engagement ring!
Update:
In Turkey the tradition is the boy's family visits the girl's family with a box of chocolates. The girl makes Turkish coffee. If the coffee sucks she doesn't want the marriage LOL. No ring necessary.
In China the parents are very involved in the decision. In ancient times the man would go to see with girl's family (sans girl) and bring a gift for the family when asking for the girl's hand in marriage. No ring, no gift for the woman.
Smurfy no a wedding band isn't a waste, but a wedding band doesn't cost thousands of dollars either (I think
)Gemini_Man
New member
Why is it that a man has to bring cash to the table to prove his commitment? And I don't care about "tradition". So much has changed when it comes to relationships, but these traditions where a man has to fork over alot of money just to put a smile on her face still seems to hang around. I'm sure as hell not gonna fund a womans bragging rights. There's nothing romantic about that. It's just more fairytail bullshit.
T
The Shadow
Guest
..is a ring necessary??
NO...
Is it necessary to get married to "prove" that you have a loving, committed relationship???
NO.
...its being thought worthy in both instances...and being worth the chance, I think
NO...
Is it necessary to get married to "prove" that you have a loving, committed relationship???
NO.
...its being thought worthy in both instances...and being worth the chance, I think
Forge
New member
Gemini_Man said:
LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
Forge said:LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
Do you think I can get one to drop on her knees for me, propose and slip a ringer on my finger? That would be like cool man. I'm an unconventional kind of guy.
T
The Shadow
Guest
biteme said:
LOL
I'm the same way.....
Forge said:LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
TC2
New member
Forge said:LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
Slip a fake "beautiful" ring on her finger then...I mean it's about "commitment and promises" right??? Not how much you spent right??
Gemini_Man
New member
Forge said:
Yea, until she divorces you. Those memories are not worth my portfolio.
Forge said:
Commitment & promises is what a marriage licence is for.
Smurfy said:
Seriously.
I think I might have to go back to my pool boy idea and just tell the judgmental idiots that I'm widowed.
Some of these guys are just too much of a pain in the ass to even waste your time with - I really who needs em?
...now I just need a pool...
or a hot tub boy - can you hire someone to clean a hot tub???
hmmm
Gemini_Man said:
Honey.. if you're already planning the divorce before you put the ring on her finger you shouldn't be asking her to marry you.
Gemini_Man
New member
Frisky said:
I agree that's not the right attitude but you can't ignore the divorce rate. Hardly enough reason for me to take things to that level. Which includes spending thousands on a "symbol".
AristotleBC
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
No shit
AristotleBC
New member
Forge said:LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
Drop down and give her an IOU.
Forge
New member
TC2 said:
Well, I guess you should spend whatever you feel the "symbol" is worth. When I bought my ex's ring I could have used that money in a dozen different more productive ways, but none of them would have made her as happy as buying that ring did. Of course you could buy a fake ring cheap but tell her it's a diamond and start the marriage on a big fat lie, but that's a moral issue. Personally I told my ex exactly what her ring cost me, I wanted her to know what she meant to me and how valuable that rock on her finger actually was. I was proud of what I had done for her.
Heh, makes me wonder how the ring is doing now, I hope she hasn't pawned it for money...
ringperm
New member
I just want to chime in and say that the Scandinavian counties have no traditions regarding engagement rings. When the guy proposes, he do uses a ring, but this ring is a plain golden ring, and will later serve as the wedding band/ring whatever.
Let's reverse this question a bit. Would this tradition be as celebrated among the female gender, if they where "required" to reciprocate this gesture with a ring of their own, of equal value?
Somehow I think not.
Why should it even be necessary to prove your love with an exceedingly expensive ring? Isn't the time spent together up to that point proof enough? If the girl of my dreams, where to dump me, because my lack of interest in this ring issue. And by that accusing me of not loving her. I guess she wouldn't be the girl I was dreaming of after all.
If the issue of a ring is enough to destroy a relationship, than the foundation for this relationship would not be a strong enough to build a life upon anyway.
To me it gives the impression of a reverse penis envy complex. My ring is bigger than yours, and my man is richer than yours, kind of behavior.
I guess it's a cultural thing, but I still have problems seeing the logic behind this.
Let's reverse this question a bit. Would this tradition be as celebrated among the female gender, if they where "required" to reciprocate this gesture with a ring of their own, of equal value?
Somehow I think not.
Why should it even be necessary to prove your love with an exceedingly expensive ring? Isn't the time spent together up to that point proof enough? If the girl of my dreams, where to dump me, because my lack of interest in this ring issue. And by that accusing me of not loving her. I guess she wouldn't be the girl I was dreaming of after all.
If the issue of a ring is enough to destroy a relationship, than the foundation for this relationship would not be a strong enough to build a life upon anyway.
To me it gives the impression of a reverse penis envy complex. My ring is bigger than yours, and my man is richer than yours, kind of behavior.
I guess it's a cultural thing, but I still have problems seeing the logic behind this.
AristotleBC
New member
Odd for a modern woman to use the term "traditional ritual" as justification.
ringperm said:
I think if a woman asked a man to marry her and gave him a ring, by US customs, one he would be emasculated and two she would be viewed by her peers as desperate.
IMHO
Is it potentially a silly custom, yes, but you know we have a lot of silly customs that for some reason we bow down to.
Which contry is it, Sweden?, that the government essentially pays citizens to have offspring?
In Europe most women sunbathe and swim topless, yet in the US we wear tops, silly custom or expectation?
AristotleBC
New member
What does that avatar signify velvett?
AristotleBC said:
I'm weird and I like latex?
Bondage to some folks.
Sex to others.
What do you want it to mean for me?
What do you wish to look into it as meaning?
It's a potential mental playground, why don't you jump in and have some fun while you attempt to judge.
I look forward to the show.
Forge
New member
velvett said:
Hah, honestly I'd be flattered if a woman gave me a ring and proposed. I'm comfortable enough in my manhood to take that for what it is and not be insulted by it. But I don't think most men would like that one bit, most guys have to be the one in control at all times. Actually my ex-wife did propose to me first, but it was in the heat of passion and not a "real" proposal.
I guess when you get right down to it, spending a good chunk of change on a ring just isn't that big a deal to me. It's not that I'm rich or anything, I just don't see a need to make an issue out of it.
velvett said:
US customs as in the Treasury Department?
Would that have anything to do with diamond importation? I am confused.
ringperm
New member
velvett said:
Of course he would, it's how it'is viewed today, but not if it was considered a custom equal to the custom you are celebrating today. If this was the case, I have trouble seeing this custom as widespread as it is now.
velvett said:
You bow down to it because of to things. Women want these rings, and men are too afraid of rejection and of looking cheap to fight it. SWV anyone??
Kidding aside, I don't percieve it as a silly custom. Just because I have trouble understanding (and accepting it, I guess), doesn't make it silly, and I have no right to judge, just offer a difference in opinion.
velvett said:
I'm from Norway, and yes the government are paying out a sum to every family for every child they have up to the age of 18. It's not much, 3-400 dollars every month. But it looks like you view this as a bad thing, why?
velvett said:
In Europe this is more of a fashion (for lack of a better word) than a cultural phenomonen. This trend changes pretty often. I guess every 2-3 years. That's also perhaps why most european men, don't go bananas over seeing a pair of breasts. We almost do, but not quite
I'd absolutely buy my wife a diamond.
Its tradition, which I am a fan of.
Its a precious stone, which my wife will be.
It lasts forever, which my marriage hopefully will as well.
Its really not that expensive either, one fucking diamond? What are we talking, 10K for a decent sized one with good clarity and color?
Of course she better give you some anal for it, but that goes without saying.
Its tradition, which I am a fan of.
Its a precious stone, which my wife will be.
It lasts forever, which my marriage hopefully will as well.
Its really not that expensive either, one fucking diamond? What are we talking, 10K for a decent sized one with good clarity and color?
Of course she better give you some anal for it, but that goes without saying.
velvett said:
duly noted
U
Ulcasterdropout
Guest
Just wow....
well.. I'm thinking 1 to 1.5 carats... a nice platinum band..Smurfy said:
D E or F color on the GIA scale FL-IF or VVS-1 VVS-2 for clarity.
No sense in getting a big rock if its low quality.. i'd rather get a smaller stone but perfect.
and 10K.. that is far less then three months salary... which I thought was the rule when buying a ring?
what kinda work do you do? rub and tug?starfish said:I like the idea of wedding rings. It's sexy
Does it have to have diamonds....No
The two rings I liked the most on people, have been gorgeous gold bands. I even remember thinking, that would be great for me because I could wear that doing the kind of work I do
Lestat said:what kinda work do you do? rub and tug?
Rub and tug is after work activities.
I work with a lot of marine mammals/animals. In the past there was a lot of SCUBA diving involved. Can't risk having loose jewelry coming off and ending up in the stomach/hurting an animal. Plus they can be attracted to it and nip/bite
ahh gotchastarfish said:Rub and tug is after work activities.
I work with a lot of marine mammals/animals. In the past there was a lot of SCUBA diving involved. Can't risk having loose jewelry coming off and ending up in the stomach/hurting an animal. Plus they can be attracted to it and nip/bite
The Red Dragon
New member
I'm with Matt on this one.
It creates another market...2 rings for every guy that gets married = $$$. I think it's just sheer materialism, tradition really has no practical value. Look at North American society in general: where money and possessions take precedence over human lives/friendships and/or relationships.
Plus it has been proven time and time again that love is not eternal, diamonds are expensive...too expensive to be wasted on 4 years or so of misery before a divorce...of course...there are exceptions...I'm sure there are tons of people that are happily married, however statistics look grim for the majority.
It creates another market...2 rings for every guy that gets married = $$$. I think it's just sheer materialism, tradition really has no practical value. Look at North American society in general: where money and possessions take precedence over human lives/friendships and/or relationships.
Plus it has been proven time and time again that love is not eternal, diamonds are expensive...too expensive to be wasted on 4 years or so of misery before a divorce...of course...there are exceptions...I'm sure there are tons of people that are happily married, however statistics look grim for the majority.
Forge said:LOL, obviously you don't understand that most women LOVE fairytale bullshit!
And although you may not believe it, there is nothing more romantic than dropping to one knee, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger, and proposing to love and cherish her for the rest of your life. Memories bor, it's what life is made of. Might as well make the important ones worth remembering, even if it does cost some money.
Marriage is about commitment and promises, thats what the ring signifies to a woman.
Ua) stop paying and let the motor home creditor sue them, at which time it is appropriate to file for bankruptcy
You're just trying to get laid. You remind me of someone else on here.
Forge
New member
biteme said:
Trying to get laid, what the hell are you talking about? It's just how I feel about the whole ring and marriage thing, if it's what the woman wants then I have no problem with it. And if I'm at the point where I'm going to propose to a woman then I better damn well be getting laid on a regular basis, the ring has nothing to do with sex.
And hey grumps, who else do I remind you of?
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