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Why we so desperately need cyborgs

Nathan

New member
Now I know what you're thinking, "I wish my nipples made strange growling noises at me all day." And that's where cyborgs come in. Had we the technology, cyborg nipples could do all kinds of wonderful things that modern nipples simply cannot do. For instance, our nipples could be emitting a low frequency signal that only lobsters can hear and understand and they could be doing this all day, every day. I wouldn't even know where to begin in trying to list the myriad of possibilities an army of crustaceans presents. Nipples could also be adapted to emit a variety of pleasing scents or perfumes. One could have their nipples emitting fumes that smell akin to flowers, fruits, vanilla, dead babies, or whatever else might strike your fancy.
Nipples aren't the only parts of our bodies we might try to improve either. Far from it. Think of all the sphincter muscles in the human body that are currently not being used to cut through dense iron rods. Most of them can't even cut through aluminum.
Probably the most advantageous aspect of being a cyborg would be a heightened ability to tell time. You would be the guy everyone would go to if they wanted to know the time. I know it doesn't sound like much, but for people who have no arms it's a pretty big deal.
A world with cyborgs would truly be a wonderful place. Children's genitals could be removed and replaced with far more useful tools, such as compasses or gravy boats. Retarded people could be transformed into feces disposal units, thus allowing our sewer systems to transport more urine than ever before. The implications of having the ability to produce cyborgs are indeed far-reaching. While it remains difficult to predict the exact direction in which the technology would take humanity, I feel I can say with utmost confidence that the elderly would have no home in our cyborg utopia.
 
i would get my nipples replaced today
if possible...i want some that shoot
frickin lasers...is that too much to ask???

i swear, if my body was as good at
making muscle as it is mammary...:mad:
 
Can someone point me in the direction of the humor in this thread? This is some serious stuff. NAthan takes the time to address these issues and you all turn them into some type of joke.

I for one, wish Nathan would talk about Jesus more. And cuss a lot more often, as well.
 
beastboy said:
Can someone point me in the direction of the humor in this thread? This is some serious stuff. NAthan takes the time to address these issues and you all turn them into some type of joke.

I for one, wish Nathan would talk about Jesus more. And cuss a lot more often, as well.

Alright, I'll bring that fucker Jesus into more issues around here. Like, for example, on threads dealing with how to successfully pull off the child molester look and be worshipped for it.
 
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