Why do younger girls go for older men?

[TheCorsican]

Is there a solid reason for this?

 

[jenscats5]

I've read in Psychology that it has to do with a "father complex"

 

[musclemom]

I've read in Psychology that it has to do with a "father complex"

I'm married to an older man, I've almost always dated older men ... and I admit I had a truly shitty relationship with my father ...

But I always went for a guy that was a little bit older (at least 2 years, my current husband is 11 years older than me) is because ... well, when I was younger, frankly guys my own age were ummm, immature idiots and didn't have the same intellectual interests.

Now did I go for somewhat older guys because I had a bad relationship with my father? Or did I go for older guys because past experience had left me disgruntled and bored with my own peer group ???

I'm not a psychologist ...

 

[obiwan9962]

well the father complex can be of two minds
one to emulate your father
the second to be the kind of father you wished for


most of the younger women i've been with just wanted an experienced man who was not looking for game

 

[jenscats5]

I'm married to an older man, I've almost always dated older men ... and I admit I had a truly shitty relationship with my father ...

But I always went for a guy that was a little bit older (at least 2 years, my current husband is 11 years older than me) is because ... well, when I was younger, frankly guys my own age were ummm, immature idiots and didn't have the same intellectual interests.

Now did I go for somewhat older guys because I had a bad relationship with my father? Or did I go for older guys because past experience had left me disgruntled and bored with my own peer group ???

I'm not a psychologist ...

And how does that make you feel??

I ain't no Freud....and he was a nutso anyway....

BUT just simply based on what I read it's cuz of a lack of the father being a parent or full parent or there was something missing in the relationship....true?? I have no clue....

 

[obiwan9962]

And how does that make you feel??

I ain't no Freud....and he was a nutso anyway....

BUT just simply based on what I read it's cuz of a lack of the father being a parent or full parent or there was something missing in the relationship....true?? I have no clue....

freud was not exactly nuts
he did hate his mother and most women
but he had cancer of the jaw and was on heroine/opium most of his academic life

 

[Sanel27]

Damn, now you people are getting psychological with all this............

I thought younger chicks dig us older guys (im 27 by the way) cause we got more experience, are a bit more established, goal oriented, dont play games and are more mature.

I mean that would be my guess, i wont go any deeper into the conversation that you all started............

I like young dumb chicks for one night stand only, as far as for relationship i like bit more stable and mature chicks, my age or a bit older.

 

[Dial_tone]

having an older person attracted to you makes you feel more mature. i'm 41 and my booty is 24...last one was 27, before her was 38 and 26

 

[sigmund]

I have to disagree that all young guys are immature and not intellectually equipped to stimulate a woman's mind, emotional needs etc. I think there's plenty of highly intelligent and mature young men all over the place, and I know there's plenty of fellas my age (I’m in my 30's) with the mentality of 15 year old children... So I think there's more to it than that.

A woman dating an older man = slightly taboo = more exciting = more of a turn on (for some), ie. If the older man is 40 and the girl 20, people will talk and it will attract attention!

Secondly, older men generally have more money, their own property, their own car, all this = much more freedom and ability to do those "dreamy things", spontaneous holidays, gifts, etc, which is a massive plus! Additionally older guys have established themselves (perhaps senior position at work, that demands respect) - powerful men = more attractive! An older man is not concerned what his parents think or feels he has to answer to them.

They also (in theory) know more about sex and how to please a woman, know more about a woman's emotional needs and (if required) can provide that parental type guidance that a woman may also seek from her Father, taking a dominant / confident role in decision making pertaining both to the relationship and “life guidance” for their partner. So in summary the extra security, freedom and power makes the older man an attractive alternative to the young less established "stud".

If the older man is in great shape with a high sex drive then it's probably a win win situation for the young girl!

As a side note, funny thing is alot of older divorced women in their 40's date younger men - it's a reversal of the above... and the young guys love it for very similar reasons. The older woman offers more security, freedom and is more established. So it works both ways. I think it just pisses off young men more than it does young women – lol!

 

[KillahBee]

I try not to anlayze it - I just thank the Lord for it.

 

[KillahBee]

okay I lied, I will analyze it.

from my experience, it typically has to do with a) playing grown-up, b) the difference between lifestyles and stages of life with older vs younger men and (unfortunately) c) older men being better at playing younger chicks.

But on the flip side, age is really just a number. I am 26 and I was recently with a 21yo and it had nothing to do with age. We just clicked. (not that 26 vs 21 is a major age difference, but it's relatively significant)

 

[jenscats5]

Older guys rule!!

 

[Megalomaniac]

Older guys rule!!

I had the shotgun in my mouth until this thread. Thanks

 

[Gymgurl]

because the sex in great! They take their time, not all about them, service the girl more, GREAT SEX

 

[jenscats5]

I had the shotgun in my mouth until this thread. Thanks

How old are you??


I've always been attracted to older guys myself.....

 

[Megalomaniac]

How old are you??


I've always been attracted to older guys myself.....

Turning 32. I'll be an older guy the rest of my life!

 

[Cutiebaby]

more experience and more mature
as it is proven that men mature at the later time that females...

 

[jenscats5]

Turning 32. I'll be an older guy the rest of my life!

Hell - I'm older than you..... don't pull the trigger yet.......

 

[Megalomaniac]

Hell - I'm older than you..... don't pull the trigger yet.......

So maybe I can't pull you but somewhere there is a lady younger than me.

 

[sigmund]

more experience and more mature
as it is proven that men mature at the later time that females...

Physically yes but I don't agree mentally, it's all down to the individual - their experiences, IQ and personality. At 18 I knew I was more mature in attitude than 90% of the girls I met, so I was more attracted to older women who were not only much better in bed but also had some stimulating conversation. At 18 I was seeing a woman 10 years my senior, she was a GP (Doctor), she taught me alot!!

I think alot of other young blokes are pretty mature but it seems that the few "Stiffler" type characters are the classic stereotype.

Ah and perhaps, also a cultural thing (I'm in the UK).

 

[thought1st]

It is a beautiful thing. 43M occasionally dating (or ???) a 29F. She was a former tenant of mine and a stripper (with a mind). Met her when she was 21. She needed an apartment and I was happy to help out. lol I was recently seperated and all she wanted was to go out, have fun and play NO GAMES. She never asked me for anything more. SHowever, I watched her hustle many men and boys who never got anywhere. She is currently engaged and we still see each other once a month or so. Go figure. That will probably last many years. Thank you Viagra.........

 

[thought1st]

It's a beautiful thing. 43M currently dating (?????) a 29F. She was a former tenant and HOT stripper. Met her when she was 21 and needed a place to stay. I was happy to help. All she wanted was to go out, have fun and play no games. She knew exactly what she did and did not want and was not afraid to say so. I watched her hustle many men and boys that never got anywhere with her except broke!!!! She never asked me for anything.

She is engaged now and we still see each other once or twice a month, go figure. It is one of those "special" relationships that will probably last forever. Thank you Viagra................ lol

 

[Bikini Mod]

because the sex in great! They take their time, not all about them, service the girl more, GREAT SEX

There is also a calm about and older man that the younger men simply do not possess.

An older established man doesnt feel the need to prove Jack Shitt to anyone. He is confident without being arrogant.

He has seen life and is more understanding of a person's difficulties... ie physical problems or other baggage.

Younger men DO NOT understand how to seduce a woman properly.

I am still learning myself and have ZERO desire to start "teaching" a man.

I was my father's favorite and had a great relationship with him until the past few years so where does that put me? I have ALWAYS dated older men (my exhusband was nearly 30 when we married. I was 22). The few younger men that I dated - bad bad BAD mistake....

The youngest I ever "dated" LOL was 24 when I was 34 (BAD BAD BAD IDEA), dated a few men that were 30ish when I was mid 30's ("eh" at best, AWFUL at worst), am now 38 and have dated as old as 64 and 66. With the exception of ONE lover (he was only 1 year my senior) MY MOST AMAZING LOVERS were the two oldest!!!

My preference is men that are early to mid 50's.

 

[awittyusername]

I can't believe no one said Money

 

[Gymgurl]

Most older men have ex-wifes and there goes the money

 

[Bikini Mod]

I can't believe no one said Money

Darlin - being with a man for his money is THE HARDEST money a woman will ever work for.

In other words - it sooooooooo isn't worth it.

 

[Gymgurl]

LOLOLOL...to much baby's momma drama....and a whole lot of other baggage mixed in

 

[Bikini Mod]

LOLOLOL...to much baby's momma drama....and a whole lot of other baggage mixed in

I agree, that is why I will only date a man if he has a good relationship with his ex if he has children.

I got a drama-causing asshole ex of my own. Dont need to contend with his as well.

 

[awittyusername]

Ladies, I am just saying money is a big reason. I have found having nice cars, bikes, homes, etc...will get girls to throw themselves at you. (even the same ones that used to snub me when I was broke) There is a huge difference.

It is instinct for women...Just like it is for a female gorilla to breed with the biggest male gorilla.

BTW. I was never married, and have no ex-wife/kid issues

 

[Megalomaniac]

So if I understand this right I should go the next 10 years without getting married. Saving money and staying fit, praticing my social skills and educating myself along the way should be my game plan. Then, at this point, young hot ladies should want me finally?

 

[awittyusername]

So if I understand this right I should go the next 10 years without getting married. Saving money and staying fit, praticing my social skills and educating myself along the way should be my game plan. Then, at this point, young hot ladies should want me finally?

Brilliant.

I did the same thing for the exact same reasons!

My friends who got married are now the divorced guys with kids the ladies are talking about.

I preach this to every young guy I meet. Get it all out of your system...Then, you can play house

 

[KBEKQT]

Let's see...emotionally stable, less insecurities and mind games, better conversations, older dudes don't try to impress, they are themselves, more experienced in a lot of fields, including all the things that make you go mmmm.

I'm just not into the diaper changing thing. If I wanted to raise a child I would have one...not date one.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ladies, I am just saying money is a big reason. I have found having nice cars, bikes, homes, etc...will get girls to throw themselves at you. (even the same ones that used to snub me when I was broke) There is a huge difference.

It is instinct for women...Just like it is for a female gorilla to breed with the biggest male gorilla.

BTW. I was never married, and have no ex-wife/kid issues

It is a given that an older man SHOULD have achieved a modicum of success.

I will only date successful men - period. Money does NOT impress me so the playing field is leveled in this regard.

A rich jerk is STILL a jerk and will get as much of my time as a poor nice guy. (I only date older men so if he is poor he cant be too smart. SMART is the first criteria. If a man can not stimulate me mentally - we dont go out - PERIOD.)

Call me what you will (I will save the trouble LOL) - this is how I am . All the men know this upfront. If they take offense we just dont go out and no one's time is wasted.

Time is my most precious commodity... NOT SEX.

Sex is not a commodity. It is a gift that is to be shared between two mutually consenting adults.

 

[obiwan9962]

Older guys rule!!

thank you

 

[Whiskey]

heheheheheehe, had a 16 y.o. ask me if I was single last week. had to tell her I was 27 and that she was too young. didn't care at all. WTF!?! still awkward at the gym

I'd figure a woman would want someone more her age, somethat that they could relate with????? Maybe i'm wrong on that one.

Who wants to be dating someone over the hill when they are only 30?

Whiskey

 

[Bikini Mod]

See, that is just it.... some women relate better to men that are older.

And as for a man being "over the hill" - that is purely a state of mind. I have seen many 20-somethings that never made it to the top but were quickly hurtling down the other side at the speed of light, nonetheless!

 

[flex229]

like it or not,,girls (women) are attracted to people in positions of power...older men often give off this type of aura to them...

and im not dissing on women,,,its more of a subconscious thing, i think..

 

[musclemom]

like it or not,,girls (women) are attracted to people in positions of power...older men often give off this type of aura to them...

and im not dissing on women,,,its more of a subconscious thing, i think..

That's true but it's a generalization, not all women go for power, and not all older men are necessarily IN positions of power.

My husband is a great example. He's just a really nice guy, average working "joe," blue collar, certainly not a mover or shaker

We were the best of friends, we fell in love ... age has never been any sort of an issue ...

 

[obiwan9962]

in general i believe people get married much too young and for the wrong reasons these days
and i ride a bus daily that goes my a centre for single moms and most of what i see get on are barely out of high school
point of that is: boys and girls if you ain't ready to be a parent keep your pants on

as for younger and older yes i am an older GENTLEMAN with a gal 8 years younger
my two ex wives were older than me....one 8 the other 9
at that age and difference in maturity levels drew a big strain as we tried to grow together
my gal and i are about the same maturity level (and i am not ashamed to admit that)
i am gentle with her as i was taught respect for women, family, nature, God and country ( i dropped the G word a few years back lol), we get along well and are friends in love and share our thoughts daily
she knows i am no good at games or Game and she is not interested in that anyway
she wants what i want and i want what she wants
age teaches you respect not just for others but yourself

i fear today's generation have little respect for themselves
now i hope i can help her teach respect of women and self to her son

 

[needtogetaas]

simple there dumb.

 

[thelion2005]

I have found a number of reasons a "younger woman" is attracted to and wants to be with an "older man". And at my age ... it can really get extreme:

- She does have father issues. The taboo does not stop her.
- She has practical problems that an older man can solve today.
- He doesn't hate her children; he is comfortable with them.
- She is lonely and taken for granted. The older man sees that void and fills it.
- The older man has so much more world experience, she has no tolerance for those still learning.
- She finds being kept by a successful older man erotic ... delightfully sinful.
- He takes her places sexually that she won't go with a younger man ... domination.

 

[Bikini Mod]

- He takes her places sexually that she won't go with a younger man ... domination.

Now you would THINK this is generally the case. Of all of the men that I have been intimate with since I have split from my exhusband I have generally been the one to "influence" them.

I had one/two lovers that taught me much about how to feel about myself and how to accept a man pleasuring me as opposed to how I had always been taught to believe (and reinforced throughout my entire marriage) that I was supposed to pleasure him.

These men floored me when it was all about me - that their pleasure came from giving ME pleasure.

Once I learned to accept this (took me about 2 years to fully comprehend and accept) I have come to understand that this is the type of man I need.

I am very submissive and giving by nature so I am very drawn to a man who is the same. If his pleasure comes from mine and my pleasure comes from giving him pleasure, we will create a complete circle.

I do find that older men, in general, know how to seduce a woman properly whereas a younger man is clueless in this regard. Younger men think that it is all about how quickly they can stick it in, get off and recover.

 

[delete]

because:
i have more money and will spend it on her
i have a great car
i have more free time to travel and take her places
i have great grey-at-the-temple hair and it drives her wild!

 

[Bikini Mod]

because:
i have more money and will spend it on her
i have a great car
i have more free time to travel and take her places
i have great grey-at-the-temple hair and it drives her wild!

Ummmm forgive my ignorance, but I thought you played for the other team.

Regardless, I do agree with most of what you said, except the car thing. I honestly dont notice or care. If he has a ton of money, of course he wont be driving a Ford Focus. LOL

 

[delete]

Ummmm forgive my ignorance, but I thought you played for the other team.

Regardless, I do agree with most of what you said, except the car thing. I honestly dont notice or care. If he has a ton of money, of course he wont be driving a Ford Focus. LOL

nothing to forgive; glad to explain: i like to swing my bat for both teams! lol

 

[jenscats5]

I have found a number of reasons a "younger woman" is attracted to and wants to be with an "older man". And at my age ... it can really get extreme:

- She does have father issues. The taboo does not stop her.
- She has practical problems that an older man can solve today.
- He doesn't hate her children; he is comfortable with them.
- She is lonely and taken for granted. The older man sees that void and fills it.
- The older man has so much more world experience, she has no tolerance for those still learning.
- She finds being kept by a successful older man erotic ... delightfully sinful.
- He takes her places sexually that she won't go with a younger man ... domination.

Hmmmm...interesting........wouldn't say complete & utter domination all the time - although sometimes is fun.........BUT older men have taken me further sexually than I've ever been and I haven't gotten there yet completely.....

And ohhhh do I want to....

 

[obiwan9962]

Hmmmm...interesting........wouldn't say complete & utter domination all the time - although sometimes is fun.........BUT older men have taken me further sexually than I've ever been and I haven't gotten there yet completely.....

And ohhhh do I want to....

want some practice?

 

[jenscats5]

want some practice?

You knowwwwwww...........PMP - practice makes perfect.....

YUM!!

 

[Bikini Mod]

nothing to forgive; glad to explain: i like to swing my bat for both teams! lol

Hhhmmmmmmmmmmmm

I bet you would be AWESOME in bed.

 

[BUBBLES]

Yes, so she can do an Ana Nicole Smith on him and secretly she will be looking form someone younger and not older than 5 years her age. lol

 

[Sassy69]

okay I lied, I will analyze it.

from my experience, it typically has to do with a) playing grown-up, b) the difference between lifestyles and stages of life with older vs younger men and (unfortunately) c) older men being better at playing younger chicks.

But on the flip side, age is really just a number. I am 26 and I was recently with a 21yo and it had nothing to do with age. We just clicked. (not that 26 vs 21 is a major age difference, but it's relatively significant)

Pretty damn insightful for a 26 yr old youngin'!

My experience - had one of the closest relationships w/a guy 13 yrs older than me - personality wise we complimented each other dramatically and some of the best & most satisfying sex I've ever had. Didn't work out - different places in life. I also dated a guy 13 yrs younger than me - great for 2 weeks, annoying as shit for the final 6 weeks. I definitely felt like the babysitter who didn't get paid. We kept in touch for a few yrs after that and he had matured dramatically and was apparently getting married. I was very happy for him because I think where I was in life helped him jump out of this really annoyingly juvenile state he was in (had just gotten kicked out of the army for smoking pot and hadnt' told his dad yet... I was just looking for some fun so we hung out). I really need someone who is at the same place in life as I am. I'm not sure age woudl matter as much as that.

If you are talking "really older" guys w/ young miss thang on his arm (or pushign his wheelchair), then its obviously a money for pussy / accessory thing. Younger girls may get off on having the "older" bf, some need the daddy figure to take care of them, and some guys need the younger girl to feel younger themselves. Lots of different reasons.

 

[delete]

Hhhmmmmmmmmmmmm

I bet you would be AWESOME in bed.

well, thanks for making my day! appreciate the compliment; the first thing I had to learn was that it takes an entirely different approach to make a woman happy in bed than it does with a a guy -guys are EASY to please; the practice and fun is to make the lady happy; it develops my ability to be patient- the payoff at the end is worth it.!