I never went down on a man until I married my first husband. I only let him come in my mouth once and gagged really hard and told him NEVER to ask me to do *that again* (meaning to come in my mouth). Interestingly enough he NEVER went down on me while I had no issue going down on him.
Then I came to the BTS board here and started to read about how much men enjoyed a "good come-in-your-mouth" BJ from a woman so IF I felt like doing that for a lover, I did. But not because I enjoyed it necessarily, but because I wanted to give THEM pleasure. Believe you me, the men who got ANY BJ from me were few and far between.
Now with my husband I don't mind going down on him but I don't do it because it pleases me. I do it because it pleases him. Unfortunately I can't always (matter of fact RARELY) do it to the point where he actually does come. My neck and jaw hurt and he can stay FOREVER... anyways when he does come it actually tastes sweet so I don't mind if he comes in my mouth.
Heck, he LOVES to have me come on his tongue so it would be very bad form for me to mind him coming on mine.
Matter of fact, when it comes to these matters, honestly I REALLY get aroused when I come on his tongue and I quick kiss him so that I can taste ME on his lips and tongue... and smell me in his beard.
None of this has anything to do with control for either one of us.