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What's the grossest sexual experience that has happened to you?

P

pdaddy

New member
I was looking through the archives for something when I came across a thread posing this question a few years back and there were some great responses. I'll share a one of many I have.

I was going to town on my ex gf's love box for a good twenty minutes when all of a sudden without any warning she queefs right in my face. Not just a pfffsst, I'm talking PPPFFFFFSSSTTTTTTTTT I think my hair flew back. Needless to say she was quite embarassed.

So let's hear these horror stories, I would love to hear some from the ladies as well.
 
went down on a girl and she stunk real bad. not sure what to do so i moved slowly upwards and acted like i just wanted to get it on. took 3 showers after that one and used a whole bottle of listerine.
 
bigmann245 said:
went down on a girl and she stunk real bad. not sure what to do so i moved slowly upwards and acted like i just wanted to get it on. took 3 showers after that one and used a whole bottle of listerine.
Click to expand...

I know what you mean, that's happened to me more than I would like to mention. The funny thing is logic tells us to stop the act if thigs seem 'unsanitary', but my partner doesn't work well with logic :p
 
bigmann245 said:
went down on a girl and she stunk real bad. not sure what to do so i moved slowly upwards and acted like i just wanted to get it on. took 3 showers after that one and used a whole bottle of listerine.
Click to expand...


Holy fuck, same here. I didn't actually go down, but I was about to.
 
I hope you post AAP because you'd have the best story.

I'm not coming up with a gross sex story that I can remember. Maybe I'm repressing?
 
whats with these chicks having stinky coochies... yuk!
 
Frisky said:
whats with these chicks having stinky coochies... yuk!
Click to expand...

Good question, my ex girlfriend was by far the most attractive girl I have ever been with and she didn't seem to know shit about feminie hygene. I told her she needed to 'freshen up', and she goes 'what do you mean, how do I do that?' Wtf?? I mean come on. She's never masterbated and didn't even know where her clit was at age 25 mind you, man I had to teach that girl everything, just call me Professor Pdaddy
 
A one night stand with some chick from a club turned into my bed looking like a 747 landed on it.

Yes people, I'm talking about skid marks here.
 
jack_schitt said:
A one night stand with some chick from a club turned into my bed looking like a 747 landed on it.

Yes people, I'm talking about skid marks here.
Click to expand...

no way...

There was a girl in my highschool who everyone called POOPS...cause it was rumored that her boyfriend did her in the pooper adn when he pulled out..she shit on his bed....
 
CENTURION44 said:
no way...

There was a girl in my highschool who everyone called POOPS...cause it was rumored that her boyfriend did her in the pooper adn when he pulled out..she shit on his bed....
Click to expand...

Thing was though, my experience was a conventional shag, not HRA.
 
CENTURION44 said:
no way...

There was a girl in my highschool who everyone called POOPS...cause it was rumored that her boyfriend did her in the pooper adn when he pulled out..she shit on his bed....
Click to expand...

She's still a trooper for taking it in the poop shute imo.
 
pdaddy said:
With the most disturbing
Click to expand...

Probably the MOST disturbing - as others are just overly weird - was when I was single and picked up this guy that was in town for a convention. He was a very very attractive guy, even though the wedding band he was wearing made me have second thoughts, I still took him home because he seemed highly intelligent and interesting. (And attractive, don't forget that).

So things go like things go when two guys go home together... he was a great kisser (all over) very sensous in bed... so naturally he ends up face down/ass up in the bed with me behind him trying to push his guts up into his lungs. I banged this guy for about 45 mins nonstop before I finally had an orgasm. I honestly thought the condom was going to burst. I wish it had. When I pulled out, he spun around, grabbed my cock, slid the condom off and then held it up and tilted it over his mouth so the cum would run out. When it was empty, then he popped the condom in his mouth like chewing gum and started swirling his tongue around the inside. If that wasn't gross enough, he seemed surprised I wouldn't kiss him afterwards.
 
One of my exes was hitting hard and fast doggy style well the air pressur with all the in and out built up and there she blow. It was so dam loud I couldn't stop laughing but he kept hitting it now that is tropper ;)
 
AAP said:
Probably the MOST disturbing - as others are just overly weird - was when I was single and picked up this guy that was in town for a convention. He was a very very attractive guy, even though the wedding band he was wearing made me have second thoughts, I still took him home because he seemed highly intelligent and interesting. (And attractive, don't forget that).

So things go like things go when two guys go home together... he was a great kisser (all over) very sensous in bed... so naturally he ends up face down/ass up in the bed with me behind him trying to push his guts up into his lungs. I banged this guy for about 45 mins nonstop before I finally had an orgasm. I honestly thought the condom was going to burst. I wish it had. When I pulled out, he spun around, grabbed my cock, slid the condom off and then held it up and tilted it over his mouth so the cum would run out. When it was empty, then he popped the condom in his mouth like chewing gum and started swirling his tongue around the inside. If that wasn't gross enough, he seemed surprised I wouldn't kiss him afterwards.
Click to expand...


:worried:
 
superqt4u2nv said:
One of my exes was hitting hard and fast doggy style well the air pressur with all the in and out built up and there she blow. It was so dam loud I couldn't stop laughing but he kept hitting it now that is tropper ;)
Click to expand...

That's awsome that you laughed about it, anytime that's happened to me she would always be completly mortified and just want to lay in the fetal position w/out human contact for a few hours :rolleyes:
 
omg you guys make my sex life look sooooooo vanilla its not funny

sugar and spice, and everything nice, thats what Goldens sex life is made of :heart:
 
i had a smelly tang experience also.. it took days for that smell to dissapear. :worried:

one time i was at this asian chicks place, i had met her online the day before and she happen to live in my town. so i go over..and we get down to business and right before i was about to put it in, i did the "finger test" and took a wiff...it was horrrible...i told her..."damn this condom broke, i need to go to the store on the corner and get a new one" ..i left and never came back.
 
hamstershaver said:
all chicks have stinky :kitty:
Click to expand...

mine smells like peaches














victoria secret is my secret
 
hamstershaver said:
all chicks have stinky :kitty:
Click to expand...



damn klue, you gonna take that???? my wife is perfect.... she is very self conscous about the kitty. sometimes i ask if she is in the mood or ill start making my move and she goes wait, i have to go to the bathroom. she did this ever since we met. i thought she wanted to pee before we did it. no finally she told me she wanted to make sure she was "ok" and then we did our deed. tastes great hammy you shoudl try it. im sure klue is fine... shes been begging for ya to.... lol
 
GoldenDelicious said:
2 whole years, huh?

thats NASTY :worried:
Click to expand...


Two hours... I freshen up alot ;)
 
somehow a girl lost control of her bodily functions when I was in the backdoor. I don't know how it happened, I was pounding away, started to smell something and noticed the condom was getting browinsh. It wasn't a hell of a lot, but enough for me to get the hell out of there.
 
rudeboyja said:
somehow a girl lost control of her bodily functions when I was in the backdoor. I don't know how it happened, I was pounding away, started to smell something and noticed the condom was getting browinsh. It wasn't a hell of a lot, but enough for me to get the hell out of there.
Click to expand...


Did you wipe it across her upper lip? Thus, giving her the Dirty Sanchez.
 
remember the dude that was fucking his girl and midway through it, he found a turd on the bed? A big ol' hersey log? And it wasn't his and the only other two culprits was his girl and his dog that was on the bed too?

Remember that "shit"? How he got so damn mad about it and his girl denied it was hers. So he made her roll over and he inspected her asshole for skid marks. Then he inspected the dog too. No joke. He was furious that someone dropped a turd on his bed.
 
One of you women have to have a horror story, smelly balls, small package, excessive dry humping. I know you're holding back.
 
pdaddy said:
That's awsome that you laughed about it, anytime that's happened to me she would always be completly mortified and just want to lay in the fetal position w/out human contact for a few hours :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at?
 
AAP said:
Probably the MOST disturbing - as others are just overly weird - was when I was single and picked up this guy that was in town for a convention. He was a very very attractive guy, even though the wedding band he was wearing made me have second thoughts, I still took him home because he seemed highly intelligent and interesting. (And attractive, don't forget that).

So things go like things go when two guys go home together... he was a great kisser (all over) very sensous in bed... so naturally he ends up face down/ass up in the bed with me behind him trying to push his guts up into his lungs. I banged this guy for about 45 mins nonstop before I finally had an orgasm. I honestly thought the condom was going to burst. I wish it had. When I pulled out, he spun around, grabbed my cock, slid the condom off and then held it up and tilted it over his mouth so the cum would run out. When it was empty, then he popped the condom in his mouth like chewing gum and started swirling his tongue around the inside. If that wasn't gross enough, he seemed surprised I wouldn't kiss him afterwards.
Click to expand...
You must be a better man then me because it must take a real man to push another guys shit in!!! :rainbow:
 
AAP said:
Probably the MOST disturbing - as others are just overly weird - was when I was single and picked up this guy that was in town for a convention. He was a very very attractive guy, even though the wedding band he was wearing made me have second thoughts, I still took him home because he seemed highly intelligent and interesting. (And attractive, don't forget that).

So things go like things go when two guys go home together... he was a great kisser (all over) very sensous in bed... so naturally he ends up face down/ass up in the bed with me behind him trying to push his guts up into his lungs. I banged this guy for about 45 mins nonstop before I finally had an orgasm. I honestly thought the condom was going to burst. I wish it had. When I pulled out, he spun around, grabbed my cock, slid the condom off and then held it up and tilted it over his mouth so the cum would run out. When it was empty, then he popped the condom in his mouth like chewing gum and started swirling his tongue around the inside. If that wasn't gross enough, he seemed surprised I wouldn't kiss him afterwards.
Click to expand...

Coulda gone my whoooole life without hearing that.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
One of my exes was hitting hard and fast doggy style well the air pressur with all the in and out built up and there she blow. It was so dam loud I couldn't stop laughing but he kept hitting it now that is tropper ;)
Click to expand...
that happens all the time with doggy if you are really rammin it.. no big deal really.
 
NJjuice22 said:
i had a smelly tang experience also.. it took days for that smell to dissapear. :worried:

one time i was at this asian chicks place, i had met her online the day before and she happen to live in my town. so i go over..and we get down to business and right before i was about to put it in, i did the "finger test" and took a wiff...it was horrrible...i told her..."damn this condom broke, i need to go to the store on the corner and get a new one" ..i left and never came back.
Click to expand...
HAHAHA fuck YEAH!! taht is the best one so far.. leave and never come back!
 
AAP said:
remember the dude that was fucking his girl and midway through it, he found a turd on the bed? A big ol' hersey log? And it wasn't his and the only other two culprits was his girl and his dog that was on the bed too?

Remember that "shit"? How he got so damn mad about it and his girl denied it was hers. So he made her roll over and he inspected her asshole for skid marks. Then he inspected the dog too. No joke. He was furious that someone dropped a turd on his bed.
Click to expand...

:FRlol:
 
two bad experiences with the red head demon...

i was 15 and the girl was 21, the girl walked into my room both of us trashed and i was making out with her and taking her clothes off in the dark. well after about 20 mins of her jerking me off me rubbing her kitty i go to fuck her and she tells me i'm ragging it. i was like wtf i was just playing with ur kitty well i smelt the finger fuckin rank ass smell. when to the bathroom to was my hands fucking red demon juice on it. now thats shitty. i said fuck it went back in the room and pulled the pull cord and fucked that shit like there was no tomorrow.

similar thing the second time but i was 22, just had the girl give me oral pleasure then after she passed out i slept on the couch, lol
 
pdaddy said:
That's awsome that you laughed about it, anytime that's happened to me she would always be completly mortified and just want to lay in the fetal position w/out human contact for a few hours :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Sheesh, whenever the wife or I have any accidental boddily noises we laugh about it, in bed, or not. Sometimes when you're in bed & limbs are everywhere it's kinda hard to hold it in. A warning is good manners though.
Life sucks enough without getting hung up over the little things.
Frisky said:
mine smells like peaches
Click to expand...
Damn, now I'm gettin hungry.
 
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