What was your most embarrasing sexual experience?

[magdelana]

When were you most embarrased ever while fucking? No jokes, seriously.

About three years ago i was riding this cute girl as she was wearing a strap on. I was leaning forward a lot to work more on the clit (girls you know what i mean) and was not paying attention to how my nose was feeling.

So unexpectedly i gave a big sneeze and sprayed snot onto the girls tits, neck, and chin a bit as well.

Lord i was so embarrased i wanted to die.

 

[VooDoo Lady]

heeheehee!! Just your everyday ordinary queefs for me

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Lmao @ myself. I was eating a girl out and she didn't shave down there and she had to have the smallest clit in the world. I couldn't find. It was during the day too. She was trying to help me find it but I wasn't seeing it. She gave me a look like, "you have no clue." I just tried to lick and suck in the direction she was pointing. I think I found it. She put her head back and grabbed the sheets.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Mag - that is BY FAR THE FUCKING FUNNIEST story that I have EVER READ!!!



My story is hardly even worth mentioning.....

I was with my first "love". I was 16 and he was 21. After a short time of hot sweaty groping around, neither one of us knew what the fuck we were doing - LOL (It was the summer time and it was in his parent's van - MY GOD! ) we were (I guess) done. I asked him, "Did you come?" As if I fucking knew what that meant... his reply? "I don't know.... did you?"

I guess perhaps this should go under the heading MOST PATHETIC sexual experiences, eh?

 

[vinylgroover]

Not as good as Mags story but in my early 20's, started seeing a girl and after the second week, took her on a picnic to a really secluded spot. The inention was that i would fuck her for the first time. Anyway, after having a nice lunch i went to take a piss and came back and started getting it on with her, when i started getting the smell of shit up my nose. This went on and on, and i thought, geez, i'm going out with a girl who shit herself. Anyway, we could both smell it and were too embarrassed to say anything, when i finally said to her 'look it's okay, please don't be embarassed'. She looked at me confused and said 'what do you mean'. So i say, 'can't you smell it' and she says ' yeah, do you think it's me' and started laughing. As it turns out, i had trodden on a big turd when i went to take a piss and it was all over the bottom of my shoe, and i thought it was her. I was real embarassed for embarassing her.

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

vinyl,why would you think it was her,girls don't poop.Do they?

 

[lilchit]

vinyl,why would you think it was her,girls don't poop.Do they?

of course we dont. no need to worry yourself with that.

mags story IS going to be the best one on here, but heres mine.

when i was 16 i was dating this incredible beef-cake. he was 21, and home on leave from the army. we were parking and id decided to make a big play for him. we kissed passionately long enough for me to get all worked up. he took off my top. then i decided to give him a "blow job". i unbuttoned his fly (while stareing deeply into his eyes) grabbed the thing and began to blow softly all over it. i heard him start to chuckle. then he actually exited the car and i could hear him laughing uncontrollably outside.

 

[the nature boy]

here are two stories, luckily I'm not the one who got embarrased:

I dated this hot clumsy girl and one time while walking to my bed she stumbled and hit her head on the bed frame. She had a big knot on her head but we still ended up having sex.

One time I was banging this chick and I accidently thrust real hard but my dick went violently into her "bad place" (aka balloon knot or chocolate starfish or asshole). She screamed in pain, and I consoled her by telling her to "walk it off". We ended up having having sex afterwards.

 

[supertech69]

of course we dont. no need to worry yourself with that.

mags story IS going to be the best one on here, but heres mine.

when i was 16 i was dating this incredible beef-cake. he was 21, and home on leave from the army. we were parking and id decided to make a big play for him. we kissed passionately long enough for me to get all worked up. he took off my top. then i decided to give him a "blow job". i unbuttoned his fly (while stareing deeply into his eyes) grabbed the thing and began to blow softly all over it. i heard him start to chuckle. then he actually exited the car and i could hear him laughing uncontrollably outside.

LMAO!!!!

That's some funny shit lil!

 

[makedah]

This is fairly explicit and absolutely mortifying...

This man liked me to ride his face. So I was obliging him. It was after hours of vaginal and anal sex - both of which can pump air in to the orifices. I started to feel kind of gassy, so I wanted to get off. I raised up, and he pulled me back down. Then, I felt like -- uh, oh SOMETHING is going to happen here! I raised up off of him and just started farting and queefing like crazy, about two or three inches from his head. He looked surprised (who wouldn't be) but not disgusted. I was horrified! I kept laughing and laughing nervously, and the more I laughed, the more I queefed. I even put his hand down there so he could feel it. I didn't admit to the farts though - I pretended it was all queef. He even said: I don't smell anything! It was really late and he had to get up early and all my gas killed the mood so needless to say, that ended our romp that night...

 

[Paulos]

 

[benchmonster]

Absolute true story here,

I was 19, and was 69ing with my girlfriend in her parent's house while they were there. They had this connecting bathrooms thing, so while we went into seperate bathrooms, we would open the doors to the common shower area and throw down, but as you might expect had to be very quiet.

Well we are 69ing, and when I came, I let out a big old protein fart at the same time. We were both laughing our asses off, but we could not laugh out loud for obvious reasons, and that just made it that much funnier. I was mortified briefly, but thankfully she started laughing, which eased the mortification slightly, but still a bad situation.

Never were caught, though, that would have been a really bad situation.

B.

 

[guards]

A girl was riding me and got so excited she fucking pissed on me.


It sucked

 

[quartermiler]

ROFLMFAO The queefing and farting one takes the cake, hahahah I can see that OMG I had to wipe tears from my eyes... hahah

 

[str8manwithadickinhisass]

I'm into BD/SM and was with this chick once. I was tied up and gagged. She was flogging me with a leather strap which was cool with me. But then she pulled out this strap on dildo and bent me over and started raping my ass! I was not into this at all. We usually talk about what we're going to do before hand. She never mentioned this. I'm bent over the bed and can't tell her to stop because I have a rubber ball gag in my mouth. I just started groaning which she of course assumed I was groaning out of pleasure and she started ramming me harder! I really felt violated afterwards. When I told her I didn't want that at all she kept apologizing. She was apologizing weeks later and she even sent me flowers!

Okay, now you all know the true story behind my username.

 

[Doktor Bollix]

One day my girl and I 69'd for about an hour, almost made me late for my Dentist's appointment. I sat in the chair and he tilted it back and I opened wide. He said "Muff diving this morning?", I said how do you know? Do I have pubes in my teeth? "No" he said "shit on your nose."









cue sound of bullshit detectors blaring like klaxons....

Ok, Ok so it's bullshit.

 

[Lumbuss]

shit, none of ya'lls stories aint nothing compared to mine foo's. i was doing this girl and stuff, you know, doing her. as in doing "it". i had to rip one, but i didn't want to so i just reached up my ass and pulled out a big old octapus and threw it right down on her tits and it started crawling around on her boobies and stuck its suction cups on her nipps.

 

[Doktor Bollix]

shit, none of ya'lls stories aint nothing compared to mine foo's. i was doing this girl and stuff, you know, doing her. as in doing "it". i had to rip one, but i didn't want to so i just reached up my ass and pulled out a big old octapus and threw it right down on her tits and it started crawling around on her boobies and stuck its suction cups on her nipps.

That's not embarassing.

I was having sex with this girl who was lustily playing the bag pipes as we screwed and my octopus, Frank, hereinafter known as "Frank the Octopus" jumped on her bagpipes and started fucking the shit out of the tartan bag. I fell off the ladder and landed on an old lady in the crowd and busted a rib, but it was ok because I was covered by Workman's Compensation.

 

[MrDbol]

One time this virgin was giving me a blowjob, and I wasn't wearing a condom. All of a sudden... buaaaaaaah.... she throws up while my dick is still in her mouth! It was the most disgusting event of my life. I told her don't worry about it. And I popped the cherry.